Basically currently the only way that I found for the ALiVE IEDs with ACE explosives to work is by disabling the Third Party IED option.
And I find this frustrating because I also wanted to use the various traps from the SOG Prarie Fire CDLC, but their custom explosions end up replaced by generic vanilla explosions (for example Punji traps should have silent and invisible explosions, and leave a sprung trap model behind)