mws.txt

How lovely is spring As we looked from Windsor Terrace on the sixteen fertile counties spread beneath , speckled by happy cottages and wealthier towns , all looked as in former years , heart cheering and fair .
A youth passed in solitude , my best years spent under your gentle and feminine fosterage , has so refined the groundwork of my character that I can not overcome an intense distaste to the usual brutality exercised on board ship : I have never believed it to be necessary , and when I heard of a mariner equally noted for his kindliness of heart and the respect and obedience paid to him by his crew , I felt myself peculiarly fortunate in being able to secure his services .
I confess that neither the structure of languages , nor the code of governments , nor the politics of various states possessed attractions for me .
He shall find that I can feel my injuries ; he shall learn to dread my revenge '' A few days after he arrived .
He had escaped me , and I must commence a destructive and almost endless journey across the mountainous ices of the ocean , amidst cold that few of the inhabitants could long endure and which I , the native of a genial and sunny climate , could not hope to survive .
Her native sprightliness needed no undue excitement , and her placid heart reposed contented on my love , the well being of her children , and the beauty of surrounding nature .
I was rich and young , and had a guardian appointed for me ; and all about me would act as if I were one of their great society , while I must keep the secret that I really was cut off from them for ever .
We could make out little by the dim light , but they seemed to contain prophecies , detailed relations of events but lately passed ; names , now well known , but of modern date ; and often exclamations of exultation or woe , of victory or defeat , were traced on their thin scant pages .
His soul overflowed with ardent affections , and his friendship was of that devoted and wondrous nature that the world minded teach us to look for only in the imagination .
The visits of Merrival to Windsor , before frequent , had suddenly ceased .
I often compared myself to them , and finding that my chief superiority consisted in power , I soon persuaded myself that it was in power only that I was inferior to the chiefest potentates of the earth .
It was useless to provide many things , for we should find abundant provision in every town .
They fly quickly over the snow in their sledges ; the motion is pleasant , and , in my opinion , far more agreeable than that of an English stagecoach .
I pointed to the spot where he had disappeared , and we followed the track with boats ; nets were cast , but in vain .
Perpetual fear had jaundiced his complexion , and shrivelled his whole person .
The sun set ; the atmosphere grew dim and the evening star no longer shone companionless .
The rain ceased ; the clouds sunk behind the horizon ; it was now evening , and the sun descended swiftly the western sky .
They were marched to various parts of the southern counties , quartered in deserted villages , a part were sent back to their own island , while the season of winter so far revived our energy , that the passes of the country were defended , and any increase of numbers prohibited .
I dared , I conquered them all , till now I have sold myself to death , with the sole condition that thou shouldst follow me Fire , and war , and plague , unite for thy destruction O my Raymond , there is no safety for thee '' With an heavy heart I listened to the changes of her delirium ; I made her a bed of cloaks ; her violence decreased and a clammy dew stood on her brow as the paleness of death succeeded to the crimson of fever , I placed her on the cloaks .
The next morning I delivered my letters of introduction and paid a visit to some of the principal professors .
Nor did Raymond make an end without drawing in vivid and glowing colours , the splendour of a kingdom , in opposition to the commercial spirit of republicanism .
The stranger learned about twenty words at the first lesson ; most of them , indeed , were those which I had before understood , but I profited by the others .
Each people looked on the coming struggle as that which would be to a great degree decisive ; as , in case of victory , the next step would be the siege of Constantinople by the Greeks .
My lieutenant , for instance , is a man of wonderful courage and enterprise ; he is madly desirous of glory , or rather , to word my phrase more characteristically , of advancement in his profession .
To be near him , to be loved by him , to feel him again her own , was the limit of her desires .
The sky was serene ; and , as I was unable to rest , I resolved to visit the spot where my poor William had been murdered .
All that he said threw greatly into the shade Cornelius Agrippa , Albertus Magnus , and Paracelsus , the lords of my imagination ; but by some fatality the overthrow of these men disinclined me to pursue my accustomed studies .
The ex queen gives me Idris ; Adrian is totally unfitted to succeed to the earldom , and that earldom in my hands becomes a kingdom .
Maternal affection had not rendered Idris selfish ; at the beginning of our calamity she had , with thoughtless enthusiasm , devoted herself to the care of the sick and helpless .
He came like a protecting spirit to the poor girl , who committed herself to his care ; and after the interment of his friend he conducted her to Geneva and placed her under the protection of a relation .
I had expected some extravagant proposition , and remained silent awhile , collecting my thoughts that I might the better combat her fanciful scheme .
They still appeared in public together , and lived under the same roof .
He began to answer with violence : `` Yes , yes , I hate you You are my bane , my poison , my disgust Oh No '' And then his manner changed , and fixing his eyes on me with an expression that convulsed every nerve and member of my frame `` you are none of all these ; you are my light , my only one , my life .
Besides , Perdita was with him in his retirement ; she saw the moodiness that succeeded to this forced hilarity ; she marked his disturbed sleep , his painful irritability once she had seen his tears hers had scarce ceased to flow , since she had beheld the big drops which disappointed pride had caused to gather in his eye , but which pride was unable to dispel .
I packed up my chemical instruments and the materials I had collected , resolving to finish my labours in some obscure nook in the northern highlands of Scotland .
My skin was embrowned by the sun ; my step was firm with conscious power .
I started forward and exclaimed , `` Villain Before you sign my death warrant , be sure that you are yourself safe . ''
He determined to extract and condense all of glory , power , and achievement , which might have resulted from a long reign , into the three years of his Protectorate .
They had received orders that if I were again taken , I should be brought to the Earl ; and his lenity made them expect a conclusion which they considered ill befitting my crime .
Six years had elapsed , passed in a dream but for one indelible trace , and I stood in the same place where I had last embraced my father before my departure for Ingolstadt .
I had now spent many hours in tears and mournful meditation ; it was past twelve o'clock ; all was at peace in the house , and the gentle air that stole in at my window did not rustle the leaves of the twining plants that shadowed it .
Look , I weep : for more than two years I have never enjoyed one moment free from anguish .
Justine was called on for her defence .
My words flowed spontaneously my utterance was firm and quick .
He obeyed her injunctions , and passed a year in exile in Cumberland .
He reverted to his past life , his successes in Greece , his favour at home .
I look on the hands which executed the deed ; I think on the heart in which the imagination of it was conceived and long for the moment when these hands will meet my eyes , when that imagination will haunt my thoughts no more .
Horrible sights were shaped to me in the turbid cloud that hovered over the city ; and my only relief was derived from the struggles I made to approach the gate .
I resolved to fly far from the scene of my misfortunes ; but to me , hated and despised , every country must be equally horrible .
I will protect the first the latter I commit to your charge .
Miserable himself that he may render no other wretched , he ought to die .
It is even possible that the train of my ideas would never have received the fatal impulse that led to my ruin .
She often repined ; but her trust in the singleness of his affection was undisturbed ; and , when they were together , unchecked by fear , she opened her heart to the fullest delight .
He was full of thought , and remained silent during a considerable part of our ride ; at length he said , `` I must apologize to you for my abstraction ; the truth is , Ryland 's motion comes on to night , and I am considering my reply . ''
Raymond did not wonder , that , thus situated , the artist had shrunk from notice , but he did not for this alter his resolve .
But while I endured punishment and pain in their defence with the spirit of an hero , I claimed as my reward their praise and obedience .
I must collect my thoughts .
`` Not so , '' said I , `` though I confess that my thoughts are not occupied as pleasantly as yours are .
`` Surely it is not the custom of Englishmen to receive strangers so inhospitably . ''
They remained confined for five months before the trial took place , the result of which deprived them of their fortune and condemned them to a perpetual exile from their native country .
These are my enticements , and they are sufficient to conquer all fear of danger or death and to induce me to commence this laborious voyage with the joy a child feels when he embarks in a little boat , with his holiday mates , on an expedition of discovery up his native river .
If manly courage and resistance can save us , we will be saved .
The silver hair and benevolent countenance of the aged cottager won my reverence , while the gentle manners of the girl enticed my love .
I commenced by inuring my body to hardship .
I travelled only at night , fearful of encountering the visage of a human being .
Adrian had introduced systematic modes of proceeding in the metropolis , which , while they were unable to stop the progress of death , yet prevented other evils , vice and folly , from rendering the awful fate of the hour still more tremendous .
The extreme darkness of the stage , whose only light was received from the fire under the cauldron , joined to a kind of mist that floated about it , rendered the unearthly shapes of the witches obscure and shadowy .
For a long time I dared not hope ; but when his unobstructed breathing and the moisture that suffused his forehead , were tokens no longer to be mistaken of the departure of mortal malady , I ventured to whisper the news of the change to Idris , and at length succeeded in persuading her that I spoke truth .
My first thought was Perdita ; to her I must return ; her I must support , drawing such food from despair as might best sustain her wounded heart ; recalling her from the wild excesses of grief , by the austere laws of duty , and the soft tenderness of regret .
He owned affinity not only with mankind , but all nature was akin to him ; the mountains and sky were his friends ; the winds of heaven and the offspring of earth his playmates ; while he the focus only of this mighty mirror , felt his life mingle with the universe of existence .
Alfred stood immoveable before him , his whole attention absorbed .
Leave me ; I am inexorable . ''
I listened to my father in silence and remained for some time incapable of offering any reply .
You hate me , but your abhorrence can not equal that with which I regard myself .
He made a vow against love and its train of struggles , disappointment and remorse , and sought in mere sensual enjoyment , a remedy for the injurious inroads of passion .
I provided myself with a sum of money , together with a few jewels which had belonged to my mother , and departed .
I rushed towards the window , and drawing a pistol from my bosom , fired ; but he eluded me , leaped from his station , and running with the swiftness of lightning , plunged into the lake .
She might have heard of my return from London , and my visit to Bolter 's Lock , which , connected with my continued absence , might tend greatly to alarm her .
This man , whose name was Beaufort , was of a proud and unbending disposition and could not bear to live in poverty and oblivion in the same country where he had formerly been distinguished for his rank and magnificence .
We found , on each side of the humid pathway , `` dry land for the sole of the foot . ''
I dare not ask you to do what I think right , for I may still be misled by passion .
Since then I must be an object of indifference or contempt to her , better , far better avoid her , nor expose myself before her and the scornful world to the chance of playing the mad game of a fond , foolish Icarus .
I shewed her the dangers which her children incurred during her absence ; and she at length agreed not to go beyond the inclosure of the forest .
The remains of the half finished creature , whom I had destroyed , lay scattered on the floor , and I almost felt as if I had mangled the living flesh of a human being .
Then again the kindly influence ceased to act I found myself fettered again to grief and indulging in all the misery of reflection .
His feelings are forever on the stretch ; and when he begins to sink into repose , he finds himself obliged to quit that on which he rests in pleasure for something new , which again engages his attention , and which also he forsakes for other novelties .
`` The father of Safie had been the cause of their ruin .
`` My children , '' she said , `` my firmest hopes of future happiness were placed on the prospect of your union .
I will win him to me ; he shall not deny his grief to me and when I know his secret then will I pour a balm into his soul and again I shall enjoy the ravishing delight of beholding his smile , and of again seeing his eyes beam if not with pleasure at least with gentle love and thankfulness .
I soon arrived at the hut : the door was ajar .
For a moment I was almost paralized by fear ; but my energy returned and I demanded a guide to accompany me in following his steps .
I could with pleasure have destroyed the cottage and its inhabitants and have glutted myself with their shrieks and misery .
I remembered in one of her harshest moments a quotation of mine had roused her to anger and disdain .
About two hours after this occurrence we heard the ground sea , and before night the ice broke and freed our ship .
Disappointment and sickness have hitherto held dominion over me ; twin born with me , my would , was for ever enchained by the shall not , of these my tyrants .
Adrian led the troops .
why string my nerves and renew my wearied efforts ah , why ?
I do not weep or sigh ; but I must reason with myself , and force myself to feel sorrow and despair .
He found my name a good passport to preferment , and he had procured for me the situation of private secretary to the Ambassador at Vienna , where I should enter on my career under the best auspices .
But on you only had I any claim for pity and redress , and from you I determined to seek that justice which I vainly attempted to gain from any other being that wore the human form .
I strove to think that all this grandeur was but more glaring infamy , and that , by planting his gold enwoven flag beside my tarnished and tattered banner , he proclaimed not his superiority , but his debasement .
I will not dwell longer than I need on these disastrous circumstances .
I heard the next morning from the steward that upon his arrival he had been in a most terrible state of mind : he had passed the first night in the garden lying on the damp grass ; he did not sleep but groaned perpetually .
Everything is related in them which bears reference to my accursed origin ; the whole detail of that series of disgusting circumstances which produced it is set in view ; the minutest description of my odious and loathsome person is given , in language which painted your own horrors and rendered mine indelible .
I gave him pretty nearly the same account of my former pursuits as I had given to his fellow professor .
As the music went on , my ideas seemed to quit their mortal dwelling house ; they shook their pinions and began a flight , sailing on the placid current of thought , filling the creation with new glory , and rousing sublime imagery that else had slept voiceless .
I waited for my letters with feverish impatience ; if they were delayed I was miserable and overcome by a thousand fears ; and when they arrived and I saw the superscription of Elizabeth or my father , I hardly dared to read and ascertain my fate .
One fine February day , when the sun had reassumed some of its genial power , I walked in the forest with my family .
At this time Lord Raymond returned from Greece .
Bread and water did not tame my blood , nor solitary confinement inspire me with gentle thoughts .
I carried pistols and a dagger constantly about me and was ever on the watch to prevent artifice , and by these means gained a greater degree of tranquillity .
The gentle words of Agatha and the animated smiles of the charming Arabian were not for me .
Alas Life is obstinate and clings closest where it is most hated .
I was struck by the improvement that appeared in the health of Adrian .
`` Are you better now , sir ? '' said she .
Another woman confirmed the account of the fishermen having brought the body into her house ; it was not cold .
His appearance , different from any I had ever before seen , and his flight somewhat surprised me .
I am thy creature , and I will be even mild and docile to my natural lord and king if thou wilt also perform thy part , the which thou owest me .
Nor did I doubt , that in the tranquillity of our family circle at Windsor , she would recover some degree of composure , and in the end , of happiness .
No man could crush a `` butterfly on the wheel '' with better effect ; no man better cover a speedy retreat from a powerful adversary .
Their still apparent union permitted her to do much ; but no woman could , in the end , present a remedy to the encreasing negligence of the Protector ; who , as if seized with a paroxysm of insanity , trampled on all ceremony , all order , all duty , and gave himself up to license .
The rooks cawed loudly in the trees above ; mixed with their hoarse cries I heard a lively strain of music .
No sympathy may I ever find .
I suppose some astonishment was exhibited in my countenance , for Mr. Kirwin hastened to say , `` Immediately upon your being taken ill , all the papers that were on your person were brought me , and I examined them that I might discover some trace by which I could send to your relations an account of your misfortune and illness .
As soon as morning dawned I crept from my kennel , that I might view the adjacent cottage and discover if I could remain in the habitation I had found .
Elinor die This is frenzy and the most miserable despair : you can not die while I am near . ''
Our talk was on subjects , unconnected with the emotions that evidently occupied each ; but we each divined the other 's thought , and as our voices spoke of indifferent matters , our eyes , in mute language , told a thousand things no tongue could have uttered .
Nor did Adrian instruct me only in the cold truths of history and philosophy .
'Let me go , ' he cried ; 'monster Ugly wretch You wish to eat me and tear me to pieces .
In the open air alone I found relief ; among nature 's beauteous works , her God reassumed his attribute of benevolence , and again I could trust that he who built up the mountains , planted the forests , and poured out the rivers , would erect another state for lost humanity , where we might awaken again to our affections , our happiness , and our faith .
`` Vase am I , '' she thought , `` vase brimful of despair 's direst essence .
He alluded to Adrian , and spoke of him with that disparagement that the worldly wise always attach to enthusiasm .
I recollected my threat and resolved that it should be accomplished .
Raymond had evidently vacillated during his journey , and irresolution was marked in every gesture as we entered Perdita 's cottage .
When my father had arrived the storm had already begun , but he had refused to stop and leaving his horse there he walked on towards the sea .
Alas , what will become of us ?
`` The relatives of the Earl of Windsor , '' said she haughtily , `` doubtless think that I injured him ; perhaps the Earl himself would be the first to acquit me , but probably I do not deserve acquittal .
His demeanour was sad ; for a moment he appeared glad to see me and then he checked himself as if unwilling to betray his feelings .
The wound , and consequent inability of Argyropylo , caused Raymond to be the first in command .
I often wished that I had permitted her to take her own course , and engage herself in such labours for the welfare of others as might have distracted her thoughts .
Now , beware Be silent Do not urge me to your destruction .
We went out with the resolution of disputing with our foe .
We will fight the enemy to the last .
I spoke without much heed , and the very conclusion of what I said brought with it other thoughts .
She reposed beside her beloved , and the tomb above was inscribed with the united names of Raymond and Perdita .
Her story was plain to him , plain and distinct as the remorse and horror that darted their fangs into him .
If I wept he would gaze on me in silence but he was no longer harsh and although he repulsed every caress yet it was with gentleness .
These sounds were mingled with the roaring of the sea , the splash of the chafed billows round the vessel 's sides , and the gurgling up of the water in the hold .
But I could discover , amidst all her repinings , deep resentment towards Raymond , and an unfading sense of injury , that plucked from me my hope , when I appeared nearest to its fulfilment .
He rode through the town , visiting the wounded , and giving such orders as were necessary for the siege he meditated .
This was not altogether the fact : but predominant self will assumed the arms and masque of callous feeling ; and the haughty lady disdained to exhibit any token of the struggle she endured ; while the slave of pride , she fancied that she sacrificed her happiness to immutable principle .
I was now in Holborn , and passed by a public house filled with uproarious companions , whose songs , laughter , and shouts were more sorrowful than the pale looks and silence of the mourner .
I rambled on , oppressed , distracted by painful emotions suddenly I found myself before Drury Lane Theatre .
Excellent friend how sincerely you did love me , and endeavour to elevate my mind until it was on a level with your own .
While in London these and many other dreadful thoughts too harrowing for words were my portion : I lost all this suffering when I was free ; when I saw the wild heath around me , and the evening star in the west , then I could weep , gently weep , and be at peace .
`` What can I do ? '' she cried , `` I am lost we are both for ever lost But come come with me , Lionel ; here I must not stay , we can get a chaise at the nearest post house ; yet perhaps we have time come , O come with me to save and protect me '' When I heard her piteous demands , while with disordered dress , dishevelled hair , and aghast looks , she wrung her hands the idea shot across me is she also mad ? `` Sweet one , '' and I folded her to my heart , `` better repose than wander further ; rest my beloved , I will make a fire you are chill . ''
My productions however were sufficiently unpretending ; they were confined to the biography of favourite historical characters , especially those whom I believed to have been traduced , or about whom clung obscurity and doubt .
But I was enchanted by the appearance of the hut ; here the snow and rain could not penetrate ; the ground was dry ; and it presented to me then as exquisite and divine a retreat as Pandemonium appeared to the demons of hell after their sufferings in the lake of fire .
She received these tokens of returning love with gentleness ; she did not shun his company ; but she endeavoured to place a barrier in the way of familiar intercourse or painful discussion , which mingled pride and shame prevented Raymond from surmounting .
Here were the future governors of England ; the men , who , when our ardour was cold , and our projects completed or destroyed for ever , when , our drama acted , we doffed the garb of the hour , and assumed the uniform of age , or of more equalizing death ; here were the beings who were to carry on the vast machine of society ; here were the lovers , husbands , fathers ; here the landlord , the politician , the soldier ; some fancied that they were even now ready to appear on the stage , eager to make one among the dramatis personae of active life .
Evadne , once the idol of Adrian 's affections ; and who , for the sake of her present visitor , had disdained the noble youth , and then , neglected by him she loved , with crushed hopes and a stinging sense of misery , had returned to her native Greece .
But I was bewildered , perplexed , and unable to arrange my ideas sufficiently to understand the full extent of his proposition .
But this thought , which supported me in the commencement of my career , now serves only to plunge me lower in the dust .
Great God If for one instant I had thought what might be the hellish intention of my fiendish adversary , I would rather have banished myself forever from my native country and wandered a friendless outcast over the earth than have consented to this miserable marriage .
In this manner I distributed my occupations when I first arrived , but as I proceeded in my labour , it became every day more horrible and irksome to me .
Such a monster has , then , really existence I can not doubt it , yet I am lost in surprise and admiration .
It is hard for one so young who was once so happy as I was ; sic voluntarily to divest themselves of all sensation and to go alone to the dreary grave ; I dare not .
In her resentful mood , these expressions had been remembered with acrimony and disdain ; they visited her in her softened hour , taking sleep from her eyes , all hope of rest from her uneasy mind .
God raises my weakness and gives me courage to endure the worst .
Give me the name of friend ; I will fulfill its duties ; and if for a moment complaint and sorrow would shape themselves into words let me be near to speak peace to your vext soul . ''
Her manners were cold and repulsive .
She is very clever and gentle , and extremely pretty ; as I mentioned before , her mien and her expression continually remind me of my dear aunt .
Soon after we heard that the poor victim had expressed a desire to see my cousin .
We read of centre and wing in Greek and Roman history ; we fancy a spot , plain as a table , and soldiers small as chessmen ; and drawn forth , so that the most ignorant of the game can discover science and order in the disposition of the forces .
Whisper it not , let the demons hear and rejoice The choice is with us ; let us will it , and our habitation becomes a paradise .
I am a farce and play to him , but to me this is all dreary reality : he takes all the profit and I bear all the burthen .
We have already reached a very high latitude ; but it is the height of summer , and although not so warm as in England , the southern gales , which blow us speedily towards those shores which I so ardently desire to attain , breathe a degree of renovating warmth which I had not expected .
He was nearly killed with kindness .
I listened to his statement , which was delivered without any presumption or affectation , and then added that his lecture had removed my prejudices against modern chemists ; I expressed myself in measured terms , with the modesty and deference due from a youth to his instructor , without letting escape inexperience in life would have made me ashamed any of the enthusiasm which stimulated my intended labours .
I have consorted long with grief , entered the gloomy labyrinth of madness , and emerged , but half alive .
My life might have been passed in ease and luxury , but I preferred glory to every enticement that wealth placed in my path .
Some reflection seemed to sting him , and the spasm of pain that for a moment convulsed his countenance , checked my indignation .
The chamber was full but there was no Protector ; and there was an austere discontent manifest on the countenances of the leaders , and a whispering and busy tattle among the underlings , not less ominous .
Justine assumed an air of cheerfulness , while she with difficulty repressed her bitter tears .
The landlady met her in the passage ; the poor creature asked , `` Is my husband here ?
False was all this false all but the affections of our nature , and the links of sympathy with pleasure or pain .
Oft when I have listened with gasping attention for the sound of the ocean mingled with my father 's groans ; and then wept untill my strength was gone and I was calm and faint , when I have recollected all this I have asked myself if this were not madness .
C Fletcher 's comedy of the Captain .
She paused , weeping , and then continued , `` I thought with horror , my sweet lady , that you should believe your Justine , whom your blessed aunt had so highly honoured , and whom you loved , was a creature capable of a crime which none but the devil himself could have perpetrated .
I shall do nothing rashly : you know me sufficiently to confide in my prudence and considerateness whenever the safety of others is committed to my care .
Often with maternal affection she had figured their merits and talents exerted on life 's wide stage .
Nothing in human shape could have destroyed the fair child .
I alighted at Perth ; and , though much fatigued by a constant exposure to the air for many hours , I would not rest , but merely altering my mode of conveyance , I went by land instead of air , to Dunkeld .
Safie nursed her with the most devoted affection , but the poor girl died , and the Arabian was left alone , unacquainted with the language of the country and utterly ignorant of the customs of the world .
I looked towards its completion with a tremulous and eager hope , which I dared not trust myself to question but which was intermixed with obscure forebodings of evil that made my heart sicken in my bosom .
I traversed the streets without any clear conception of where I was or what I was doing .
I was weary with watching and for some time I had combated with the heavy sleep that weighed down my eyelids : but now , no longer fearful , I threw myself on my bed .
I took a circuitous path , principally for the sake of going to the top of the mount before mentioned , which commanded a view of the city .
When once disease was introduced into the rural districts , its effects appeared more horrible , more exigent , and more difficult to cure , than in towns .
`` This day was passed in the same routine as that which preceded it .
In this manner many appalling hours passed ; several of my dogs died , and I myself was about to sink under the accumulation of distress when I saw your vessel riding at anchor and holding forth to me hopes of succour and life .
No one ventured on board the vessel , and strange sights were averred to be seen at night , walking the deck , and hanging on the masts and shrouds .
I must not forget one incident that occurred during this visit to London .
We have forgotten what we did when she was not .
I collected bones from charnel houses and disturbed , with profane fingers , the tremendous secrets of the human frame .
This burst of passionate feeling over , with calmed thoughts we sat together , talking of the past and present .
And then , like David , I would try music to win the evil spirit from him ; and once while singing I lifted my eyes towards him and saw his fixed on me and filled with tears ; all his muscles seemed relaxed to softness .
Parliament was divided by three factions , aristocrats , democrats , and royalists .
But if the sentiment on which the fabric of her existence was founded , became common place through participation , the endless succession of attentions and graceful action snapt by transfer , his universe of love wrested from her , happiness must depart , and then be exchanged for its opposite .
Their minister at Constantinople was urged to make the necessary perquisitions , and should his existence be ascertained , to demand his release .
Idris was too much taken up by her own dreadful fears , to be angry , hardly grieved ; for she judged that insensibility must be the source of this continued rancour .
Their happiness was not decreased by the absence of summer .
The light curling waves bore us onward , and old ocean smiled at the freight of love and hope committed to his charge ; it stroked gently its tempestuous plains , and the path was smoothed for us .
The Countess had failed in this design with regard to her children ; perhaps she hoped to find the next remove in birth more tractable .
His intellect found sufficient field for exercise in his domestic circle , whose members , all adorned by refinement and literature , were many of them , like himself , distinguished by genius .
He often left us , and wandered by himself in the woods , or sailed in his little skiff , his books his only companions .
Return ; dearest one , you promised me this boon , that I should bring you health .
Then again she sadly lamented her hard fate ; that a woman , with a woman 's heart and sensibility , should be driven by hopeless love and vacant hopes to take up the trade of arms , and suffer beyond the endurance of man privation , labour , and pain the while her dry , hot hand pressed mine , and her brow and lips burned with consuming fire .
She had gone to hide her weakness ; escaping from the castle , she had descended to the little park , and sought solitude , that she might there indulge her tears ; I found her clinging round an old oak , pressing its rough trunk with her roseate lips , as her tears fell plenteously , and her sobs and broken exclamations could not be suppressed ; with surpassing grief I beheld this loved one of my heart thus lost in sorrow I drew her towards me ; and , as she felt my kisses on her eyelids , as she felt my arms press her , she revived to the knowledge of what remained to her . `` You are very kind not to reproach me , '' she said : `` I weep , and a bitter pang of intolerable sorrow tears my heart .
Perdita looked at him like one amazed ; her expressive countenance shone for a moment with tenderness ; to see him only was happiness .
`` But when I saw you become the object of another 's love ; when I imagined that you might be loved otherwise than as a sacred type and image of loveliness and excellence ; or that you might love another with a more ardent affection than that which you bore to me , then the fiend awoke within me ; I dismissed your lover ; and from that moment I have known no peace .
Shakspeare , whose popularity was established by the approval of four centuries , had not lost his influence even at this dread period ; but was still `` Ut magus , '' the wizard to rule our hearts and govern our imaginations .
In August , the plague had appeared in the country of England , and during September it made its ravages .
He became an adventurer in the Greek wars .
`` Wherefore do I feel thus ?
`` My days were spent in close attention , that I might more speedily master the language ; and I may boast that I improved more rapidly than the Arabian , who understood very little and conversed in broken accents , whilst I comprehended and could imitate almost every word that was spoken .
But perfect happiness is an attribute of angels ; and those who possess it , appear angelic .
I adverted to what Adrian had already done I promised the same vigilance in furthering all his views .
The last beams of the nearly sunken sun shot up from behind the far summit of Mount Athos ; the sea of Marmora still glittered beneath its rays , while the Asiatic coast beyond was half hid in a haze of low cloud .
As long as their disunion remained a secret , he cherished an expectation of re awakening past tenderness in her bosom ; now that we were all made acquainted with these occurrences , and that Perdita , by declaring her resolves to others , in a manner pledged herself to their accomplishment , he gave up the idea of re union as futile , and sought only , since he was unable to influence her to change , to reconcile himself to the present state of things .
This idea pursued me and tormented me at every moment from which I might otherwise have snatched repose and peace .
No youthful congregation of gallant hearted boys thronged the portal of the college ; sad silence pervaded the busy school room and noisy playground .
`` I will soon explain to what these feelings tended , but allow me now to return to the cottagers , whose story excited in me such various feelings of indignation , delight , and wonder , but which all terminated in additional love and reverence for my protectors for so I loved , in an innocent , half painful self deceit , to call them . ''
How mutable are our feelings , and how strange is that clinging love we have of life even in the excess of misery I constructed another sail with a part of my dress and eagerly steered my course towards the land .
I was in the service of a farmer ; and with crook in hand , my dog at my side , I shepherded a numerous flock on the near uplands .
Her energy of character induced her still to combat with the ills of life ; even those attendant on hopeless love presented themselves , rather in the shape of an adversary to be overcome , than of a victor to whom she must submit .
The maniac became composed ; his person rose higher ; authority beamed from his countenance .
Pale as marble , clear and beaming as that , she heard my tale , and enquired concerning the spot where he had been deposited .
When they had retired to rest , if there was any moon or the night was star light , I went into the woods and collected my own food and fuel for the cottage .
This was all true ; but it was not less agonizing to take the admonition home .
Cast off the only gift that I have bestowed upon you , your grief , and rise from under my blighting influence as no flower so sweet ever did rise from beneath so much evil .
Alas I knew not the desart it was about to reach ; the rocks that would tear its waters , and the hideous scene that would be reflected in a more distorted manner in its waves .
My heart beat quick as I approached the palings ; my hand was on one of them , a leap would take me to the other side , when two keepers sprang from an ambush upon me : one knocked me down , and proceeded to inflict a severe horse whipping .
My evil passions will have fled , for I shall meet with sympathy My life will flow quietly away , and in my dying moments I shall not curse my maker . ''
`` Elizabeth Lavenza `` Geneva , May th , `` This letter revived in my memory what I had before forgotten , the threat of the fiend `` I WILL BE WITH YOU ON YOUR WEDDING NIGHT '' Such was my sentence , and on that night would the daemon employ every art to destroy me and tear me from the glimpse of happiness which promised partly to console my sufferings .
He might have spoken , but I did not hear ; one hand was stretched out , seemingly to detain me , but I escaped and rushed downstairs .
I turned author myself .
Then , in endeavouring to do violence to my own disposition , I made all worse than before .
His graceful elocution enchained the senses of his hearers .
Posterity is no more ; fame , and ambition , and love , are words void of meaning ; even as the cattle that grazes in the field , do thou , O deserted one , lie down at evening tide , unknowing of the past , careless of the future , for from such fond ignorance alone canst thou hope for ease Joy paints with its own colours every act and thought .
The theatre was tolerably well filled .
She was nearly fifteen years older than he , and was the offspring of a former marriage of his father .
They stole off at first by ones and twos , then in larger companies , until , unimpeded by the officers , whole battalions sought the road that led to Macedonia .
I am glad that I have loved , and have experienced sympathetic joy and sorrow with my fellow creatures .
I went up to her and offered my services .
He admitted that the principles that I laid down were the best ; but he denied that they were the only ones .
And when time shall have softened your despair , new and dear objects of care will be born to replace those of whom we have been so cruelly deprived . ''
One of these fragile mirrors , that ever doted on thine image , is about to be broken , crumbled to dust .
Calderon de la Barca .
He was detained three days longer and then he hastened to her .
And why should I describe a sorrow which all have felt , and must feel ?
But I paused when I reflected on the story that I had to tell .
Ruined castles hanging on the precipices of piny mountains , the impetuous Arve , and cottages every here and there peeping forth from among the trees formed a scene of singular beauty .
I did not weep , but I wiped the perspiration from my brow , and tried to still my brain and heart beating almost to madness .
But now I went to it in cold blood , and my heart often sickened at the work of my hands .
We hired a chaise here , and with four horses drove with speed through the storm .
Thus , we talked of them , and moralized , as with diminished numbers we returned to Windsor Castle .
Through Asia , from the banks of the Nile to the shores of the Caspian , from the Hellespont even to the sea of Oman , a sudden panic was driven .
Idris , the most affectionate wife , sister and friend , was a tender and loving mother .
But , my dear Frankenstein , '' continued he , stopping short and gazing full in my face , `` I did not before remark how very ill you appear ; so thin and pale ; you look as if you had been watching for several nights . ''
She first assured him of her boundless confidence ; of this he must be conscious , since but for that she would not seek to detain him .
He had apparently been strangled , for there was no sign of any violence except the black mark of fingers on his neck .
`` Abhorred monster Fiend that thou art The tortures of hell are too mild a vengeance for thy crimes .
No , all must be changed .
Agatha listened with respect , her eyes sometimes filled with tears , which she endeavoured to wipe away unperceived ; but I generally found that her countenance and tone were more cheerful after having listened to the exhortations of her father .
Still she felt sure that he would come at last ; and the wider the breach might appear at this crisis , the more secure she was of closing it for ever .
yet he was never in better health .
I was beyond measure disturbed by this intelligence .
`` Your arrival , my dear cousin , '' said she , `` fills me with hope .
What , if circumstance should lead Perdita to suspect , and suspecting to be resolved ?
The wind , prince of air , raged through his kingdom , lashing the sea into fury , and subduing the rebel earth into some sort of obedience .
The season of the assizes approached .
'By your language , stranger , I suppose you are my countryman ; are you French ? ' `` 'No ; but I was educated by a French family and understand that language only .
We rapidly drew near , so that at length the number and forms of those within could be discerned ; its dark sides grew big , and the splash of its oars became audible : I could distinguish the languid form of my friend , as he half raised himself at our approach .
Perdita was still to a great degree uneducated .
I feared to wander from the sight of my fellow creatures lest when alone he should come to claim his companion .
After all we miscalculated .
His health was impaired beyond hope of cure ; and it became his earnest wish , before he died , to preserve his daughter from the poverty which would be the portion of her orphan state .
Young men should be diffident of themselves , you know , M. Clerval : I was myself when young ; but that wears out in a very short time . ''
Had I never quitted Windsor , these emotions would not have been so intense ; but I had in Greece been the prey of fear and deplorable change ; in Greece , after a period of anxiety and sorrow , I had seen depart two , whose very names were the symbol of greatness and virtue .
Oh Not the ten thousandth portion of the anguish that was mine during the lingering detail of its execution .
`` And do you dream ? '' said the daemon .
I lived in a temple glorified by intensest sense of devotion and rapture ; I walked , a consecrated being , contemplating only your power , your excellence ; For O , you stood beside me , like my youth , Transformed for me the real to a dream , Cloathing the palpable and familiar With golden exhalations of the dawn .
Many went up as high as Belfast to ensure a shorter passage , and then journeying south through Scotland , they were joined by the poorer natives of that country , and all poured with one consent into England .
But it was not so ; thou didst seek my extinction , that I might not cause greater wretchedness ; and if yet , in some mode unknown to me , thou hadst not ceased to think and feel , thou wouldst not desire against me a vengeance greater than that which I feel .
Among these , and highly distinguished by her , was Prince Zaimi , ambassador to England from the free States of Greece ; and his daughter , the young Princess Evadne , passed much of her time at Windsor Castle .
`` Another circumstance strengthened and confirmed these feelings .
At first , I had spoken only to those nearest me ; but the whole assembly gathered about me , and I found that I was listened to by all .
Shame seemed to hold him back ; yet he evidently wished to establish a renewal of confidence and affection .
I obtained from my father a respite of some weeks .
We were in the most imminent peril , but as we could only remain passive , my chief attention was occupied by my unfortunate guest whose illness increased in such a degree that he was entirely confined to his bed .
This may not be ; cease to argue the point , for I can not consent . ''
He was perfectly self possessed ; he accosted us both with courtesy , seemed immediately to enter into our feelings , and to make one with us .
For a moment my soul was elevated from its debasing and miserable fears to contemplate the divine ideas of liberty and self sacrifice of which these sights were the monuments and the remembrancers .
Six years have passed since I resolved on my present undertaking .
The very boldness of his language gave him weight ; each knew that he spoke truth a truth known , but not acknowledged .
We assembled again towards evening , and Perdita insisted on our having recourse to music .
You well know that on the whole earth there is no sacrifise that I would not make , no labour that I would not undergo with the mere hope that I might bring you ease .
In the heart of one like me there are secret thoughts working , and secret tortures which you ought not to seek to discover .
Supporting her as I did , still she lagged : and at the distance of half a mile , after many stoppages , shivering fits , and half faintings , she slipt from my supporting arm on the snow , and with a torrent of tears averred that she must be taken , for that she could not proceed .
Yet how could I find this ?
She alone knew the weight which Raymond attached to his success .
She quitted her native Greece ; her father died ; by degrees she was cut off from all the companions and ties of her youth .
He died in debt , and his little property was seized immediately by his creditors .
We talked of the ravages made last year by pestilence in every quarter of the world ; and of the dreadful consequences of a second visitation .
I observed this also and contrived a fan of branches , which roused the embers when they were nearly extinguished .
But I perceive , too soon for my own happiness , too late for England 's good , that I undertook a task to which I am unequal .
He had vowed TO BE WITH ME ON MY WEDDING NIGHT , yet he did not consider that threat as binding him to peace in the meantime , for as if to show me that he was not yet satiated with blood , he had murdered Clerval immediately after the enunciation of his threats .
If you feel thus , we shall assuredly be happy , however present events may cast a gloom over us .
The nations beneath their influence bowed their heads , and died .
He was forever busy , and the only check to his enjoyments was my sorrowful and dejected mind .
They produced in me an infinity of new images and feelings , that sometimes raised me to ecstasy , but more frequently sunk me into the lowest dejection .
By some papers of her father which fell into her hands she heard of the exile of her lover and learnt the name of the spot where he then resided .
I shall commit my thoughts to paper , it is true ; but that is a poor medium for the communication of feeling .
If the multitude of mankind knew of my existence , they would do as you do , and arm themselves for my destruction .
With sincerity and fervour he gave the required promise : as a pledge of continued favour , he received from his royal master a sum of money to defray pressing debts , and enable him to enter under good auspices his new career .
I must arise and examine .
Alas for human reason He accused the Greeks of superstition : what name did he give to the faith he lent to the predictions of Evadne ?
From her I should learn the truth concerning our protector ; I should hear why she had withdrawn from the protection of the Princess Evadne , and be instructed as to the influence which this overtopping and towering Raymond exercised over the fortunes of my friend .
Our nature dim , like to an unlighted torch , sleeps in formless blank till the fire attain it ; this life of life , this light to moon , and glory to the sun .
I was indignant that he should sit at the same table with the companions of Raymond men of abandoned characters , or rather without any , the refuse of high bred luxury , the disgrace of their country .
When I was about fifteen years old we had retired to our house near Belrive , when we witnessed a most violent and terrible thunderstorm .
Before this event , the little beings , sprung from herself , the young heirs of her transient life , seemed to have a sure lease of existence ; now she dreaded that the pitiless destroyer might snatch her remaining darlings , as it had snatched their brother .
`` Thus , '' she cried , `` kindness can do , what no want , no misery ever effected ; I weep . ''
`` Now by the fells of Cumberland , '' I cried , `` by all of the vagabond and poacher that appertains to me , I will stand at your side , draw my sword in the Greek cause , and be hailed as a victor along with you '' All the plain , from Kishan to Rodosto , a distance of sixteen leagues , was alive with troops , or with the camp followers , all in motion at the approach of a battle .
Who could arrest a creature capable of scaling the overhanging sides of Mont Saleve ?
`` It was a lady on horseback , accompanied by a country man as a guide .
It was not however money , except partially , but the necessaries of life , that became scarce .
How can you , who long for the love and sympathy of man , persevere in this exile ?
If I succeed , many , many months , perhaps years , will pass before you and I may meet .
I found several letters , and , among others , one which I discovered from its commencement to be from your father .
This address caused a considerable change in the physiognomy of my own auditor .
I enjoyed this scene , and yet my enjoyment was embittered both by the memory of the past and the anticipation of the future .
I feared the vengeance of the disappointed fiend , yet I was unable to overcome my repugnance to the task which was enjoined me .
But Adrian read with uncertain aim the charactery of her face , and might mistake .
Sometimes she observed the war of elements , thinking that they also declared against her , and listened to the pattering of the rain in gloomy despair .
must we prepare our funeral repast with labour , and with unseemly drudgery heap fuel on our deserted hearths must we with servile hands fabricate the garments , soon to be our shroud ?
I had vowed to my own heart never to shadow her countenance even with transient grief , and should I prove recreant at the hour of greatest need ?
There was a companionship in suffering there , and , the neighbours keeping constant watch on each other , and inspired by the active benevolence of Adrian , succour was afforded , and the path of destruction smoothed .
The moment Adrian should be legally elected his deputy , he would escape to safety .
I would walk barefoot through the world , to find an uninfected spot ; I would build my home on some wave tossed plank , drifted about on the barren , shoreless ocean .
I can not lead them unwillingly to danger , and I must return . ''
Her hair was the brightest living gold , and despite the poverty of her clothing , seemed to set a crown of distinction on her head .
I replied carelessly , and partly in contempt , mentioned the names of my alchemists as the principal authors I had studied .
He however attained his wish ; he filled the situation for which nature seemed to have moulded him .
They swept the country like a conquering army , burning laying waste murdering .
When a servant came to ask me if I would take food I learnt from him that my father had returned , and was apparently well and this relieved me from a load of anxiety , yet I did not cease to weep bitterly .
The idea once broached , all were impatient to put it in execution .
Preserve her for her own sake I know that you will if you require any other spur , think that , in preserving her , you preserve me .
She did not believe that he was dead , but she knew that he was in danger , and the hope of assisting in his liberation , and the idea of soothing by tenderness the ills that he might have undergone , elevated and harmonized the late jarring element of her being .
I was partly urged by curiosity , and compassion confirmed my resolution .
The confusion grew their looks of sorrow changed to mockery ; they nodded their heads in time to the music , whose clang became maddening .
It is not pity that you feel ; you lament only because the victim of your malignity is withdrawn from your power . ''
Thus full of contradictions , unbending yet haughty , gentle yet fierce , tender and again neglectful , he by some strange art found easy entrance to the admiration and affection of women ; now caressing and now tyrannizing over them according to his mood , but in every change a despot .
Her eyes could not be deeper than they were in childhood , nor her countenance more expressive ; but the expression was changed and improved ; intelligence sat on her brow ; when she smiled her face was embellished by the softest sensibility , and her low , modulated voice seemed tuned by love .
The usual expression of his eyes was soft , though at times he could make them even glare with ferocity ; his complexion was colourless ; and every trait spoke predominate self will ; his smile was pleasing , though disdain too often curled his lips lips which to female eyes were the very throne of beauty and love .
Never did any woman appear so entirely made of mind , as the Countess of Windsor .
Idris had shared Perdita 's ill opinion of the Greek ; but Raymond 's account softened and interested her .
Frankenstein is modest ; an excellent quality in a young man .
But these are precious moments ; devil as I am become , yet that is my Mathilda before me whom I love as one was never before loved : and she knows it now ; she listens to these words which I thought , fool as I was , would blast her to death .
Yet , when she stood in unassuming simplicity before us , playing with our children , or with girlish assiduity performing little kind offices for Idris , one wondered in what fair lineament of her pure loveliness , in what soft tone of her thrilling voice , so much of heroism , sagacity and active goodness resided .
HALF England was desolate , when October came , and the equinoctial winds swept over the earth , chilling the ardours of the unhealthy season .
The death of many of our inmates had weaned us from the fond idea , that Windsor Castle was a spot sacred from the plague ; but our lease of life was renewed for some months , and even Idris lifted her head , as a lily after a storm , when a last sunbeam tinges its silver cup .
Obeying these impulses , he had become the husband of Perdita : egged on by them , he found himself the lover of Evadne .
She loved him as a kind elder brother ; a relation to guide , protect , and instruct her , without the too frequent tyranny of parental authority .
Yes it was despair I felt ; for the first time that phantom seized me ; the first and only time for it has never since left me After the first moments of speechless agony I felt her fangs on my heart : I tore my hair ; I raved aloud ; at one moment in pity for his sufferings I would have clasped my father in my arms ; and then starting back with horror I spurned him with my foot ; I felt as if stung by a serpent , as if scourged by a whip of scorpions which drove me Ah Whither Whither ?
At length I arrived at the village of Chamounix .
The country afforded no such mass of horrors ; solitary wretches died in the open fields ; and I have found a survivor in a vacant village , contending at once with famine and disease ; but the assembly of pestilence , the banqueting hall of death , was spread only in London .
He entreated me to write often .
At the end of a month he suddenly quitted his house and , unatteneded sic by any servant , departed from that part of the country without by word or writing informing any one of his intentions .
During my wanderings I never slept without first calling down gentle dreams on your head .
We sat like one family round my hearth .
Such were we upon earth , wondering aghast at the effects of pestilence .
The blue and troubled sea sped past the vessel , and was spread shoreless around : the sky was covered by a rack , which in its swift motion shewed how speedily she was borne away .
My dear sir , you must begin your studies entirely anew . ''
There is no more painful sight than that of untimely care in children , and it was particularly observable in one whose disposition had heretofore been mirthful .
A presentiment of ill hung over her .
Two soldiers contended for a girl , whose rich dress and extreme beauty excited the brutal appetites of these wretches , who , perhaps good men among their families , were changed by the fury of the moment into incarnated evils .
But I was in no mood to laugh and talk with strangers or enter into their feelings or plans with the good humour expected from a guest ; and accordingly I told Clerval that I wished to make the tour of Scotland alone .
Be steady to your purposes and firm as a rock .
For the will of man is omnipotent , blunting the arrows of death , soothing the bed of disease , and wiping away the tears of agony .
At that moment I heard the steps of my younger protectors .
Chapter Day after day , week after week , passed away on my return to Geneva ; and I could not collect the courage to recommence my work .
She could not disguise to herself that any change would separate her from him ; now she saw him each day .
Raymond would follow soon , she said ; he had been detained by business .
When I reflected on his crimes and malice , my hatred and revenge burst all bounds of moderation .
I awoke from disturbed dreams .
Perdita 's mind was not softened by this account .
He approached ; his countenance bespoke bitter anguish , combined with disdain and malignity , while its unearthly ugliness rendered it almost too horrible for human eyes .
About this time we retired to our house at Belrive .
All was again silent , but his words rang in my ears .
Close to the spot on which we stood , was a solitary rock , high and conical , which , divided on every side from the mountain , seemed a nature hewn pyramid ; with little labour this block was reduced to a perfect shape ; the narrow cell was scooped out beneath in which Raymond was placed , and a short inscription , carved in the living stone , recorded the name of its tenant , the cause and aera of his death .
The poor woman was very vacillating in her repentance .
I entered its gloomy walls in a fit of triumphant extasy : `` He feels me now , '' I cried , `` and shall , again and again '' I passed but one day in confinement ; in the evening I was liberated , as I was told , by the order of the Earl himself .
Yet a whole life of falsehood was otherwise my portion : and when remorse at being the contriver of any cheat made me shrink from my design I was irresistably led back and confirmed in it by the visit of some aunt or cousin , who would tell me that death was the end of all men .
No office , no devotion , no watching was irksome to her , as it regarded him .
A sister of my father was with him at this period .
It was a lovely sight , even to me , poor wretch who had never beheld aught beautiful before .
This I most earnestly entreat , and I know you will comply . ''
I do not intend to hurt you ; listen to me . ' `` He struggled violently .
Their first supposition was that it was the corpse of some person who had been drowned and was thrown on shore by the waves , but on examination they found that the clothes were not wet and even that the body was not then cold .
The unexampled loveliness of the flower clad earth the genial sunshine and grateful shade the melody of the birds the majesty of the woods the splendour of the marble ruins the clear effulgence of the stars by night the combination of all that was exciting and voluptuous in this transcending land , by inspiring a quicker spirit of life and an added sensitiveness to every articulation of her frame , only gave edge to the poignancy of her grief .
This was a new sight to me , and I examined the structure with great curiosity .
Ah If you knew what I have suffered and what I may yet endure , you would endeavour to let me taste the quiet and freedom from despair that this one day at least permits me to enjoy . ''
I spoke of my desire of finding a friend , of my thirst for a more intimate sympathy with a fellow mind than had ever fallen to my lot , and expressed my conviction that a man could boast of little happiness who did not enjoy this blessing .
Again in vengeance of his wrath he falls On their great hosts , and breaks their tottering walls ; Arrests their navies on the ocean 's plain , And whelms their strength with mountains of the main .
Adrian it is true had already gone to seek the fugitive , imagining that her tameless anxiety had led her to the purlieus of the House , and that some sinister event detained her .
Such is my journal of what relates to this strange occurrence up to the present day .
AND now let the reader , passing over some short period of time , be introduced to our happy circle .
He made her warm offers of service ; she was too much occupied by more engrossing thoughts , either to accept or reject them ; at length he left her , making a promise to repeat his visit the next day .
The blood of my forefathers cries aloud in my veins , and bids me be first among my countrymen .
The wounded deer dragging its fainting limbs to some untrodden brake , there to gaze upon the arrow which had pierced it , and to die , was but a type of me .
It contained but two rooms , and these exhibited all the squalidness of the most miserable penury .
Would that I had been indeed extinguished `` And now , Mathilda I must make you my last confession .
Fear overcame me ; I dared no advance , dreading a thousand nameless evils that made me tremble , although I was unable to define them .
The course of the Rhine below Mainz becomes much more picturesque .
She soon went to pieces ; I was shewn where she had been , and saw her disjoined timbers tossed on the waves .
I imagined , that it was my imperative duty to take her from scenes that thus forcibly reminded her of her loss .
Mine has been a tale of horrors ; I have reached their acme , and what I must now relate can but be tedious to you .
The district which contained them appeared the abode of every kindly spirit .
Heavy falls of snow gave an arctic appearance to the scenery ; the roofs of the houses peeped from the white mass ; the lowly cot and stately mansion , alike deserted , were blocked up , their thresholds uncleared ; the windows were broken by the hail , while the prevalence of a north east wind rendered out door exertions extremely painful .
Do not turn from me ; I do not ask you to reveal it : I only entreat you to listen to me and to become familiar with the voice of consolation and kindness .
Adrian 's countenance flitted across , tainted by death Idris , with eyes languidly closed and livid lips , was about to slide into the wide grave .
I I alone was the cause of his defeat and justly did I pay the fearful penalty .
I gasped for breath `` I will not detail to you , '' continued Raymond , `` the melancholy particulars .
I forgot the distance between us : `` I will go with thee , Raymond '' I cried ; but , my eye removed from the glass , I could scarce discern the pigmy forms of the crowd , which about a mile from me surrounded the gate ; the form of Raymond was lost .
I am not yet fallen so low ; my honour is not yet so tarnished .
The thought was fleeting ; for his attention was instantly drawn towards the inhabitant of this wretched abode .
But there was a fearlessness and frankness about her , which said that she would not encroach on another 's liberty , but held her own sacred and unassailable .
August , Yesterday the stranger said to me , `` You may easily perceive , Captain Walton , that I have suffered great and unparalleled misfortunes .
On a sudden I heard a gentle step ascending the stairs ; I paused breathless , and as it approached glided into an obscure corner of the room ; the steps paused at my door , but after a few moments they again receeded , descended the stairs and I heard no more .
I entered it and approached the tomb which marked their graves .
The merriment of the hour was an unholy mockery of the sorrows of man .
If , on the contrary , they are proof against expostulation , this very steadiness is an omen of success ; and it becomes the duty of those who love them , to assist in smoothing the obstructions in their path .
I then paused , and a cold shivering came over me .
The few ineffectual words he had said concerning his duty were to me a further proof and the more I studied the letter the more did I perceive a thousand slight expressions that could only indicate a knowledge that life was now over for him .
In Italy the rivers were unwatched by the diminished peasantry ; and , like wild beasts from their lair when the hunters and dogs are afar , did Tiber , Arno , and Po , rush upon and destroy the fertility of the plains .
Even to us he assumed gaiety and hope , and assumed them so well , that we did not divine the secret workings of his mind .
Good God In what desert land have you lived , where no one was kind enough to inform you that these fancies which you have so greedily imbibed are a thousand years old and as musty as they are ancient ?
I avoided explanation and maintained a continual silence concerning the wretch I had created .
IN the autumn of this year , the spirit of emigration crept in among the few survivors , who , congregating from various parts of England , met in London .
She drifted towards the harbour , and was stranded on the sands at the entrance .
Her eyes glistened with tears when she thanked me , and the grace of her expressions was enhanced , not diminished , by the fervour , which caused her almost to falter as she spoke .
The revenue of its possessor , which had always found a mode of expenditure congenial to his generous nature , was now attended to more parsimoniously , that it might embrace a wider portion of utility .
The modern masters promise very little ; they know that metals can not be transmuted and that the elixir of life is a chimera but these philosophers , whose hands seem only made to dabble in dirt , and their eyes to pore over the microscope or crucible , have indeed performed miracles .
Nay , Henry might stand between me and the intrusion of my foe .
I listened to this discourse with the extremest agony .
Who could be interested in the fate of a murderer but the hangman who would gain his fee ?
Unwonted silence reigned in the house , the members spoke in whispers , and the ordinary business was transacted with celerity and quietness .
Will you commune less with his departed spirit , while you watch over and cultivate the rare excellence of his child ?
Perdita listened to me impatiently , and answered with some asperity : `` Do you think that any of your arguments are new to me ? or that my own burning wishes and intense anguish have not suggested them all a thousand times , with far more eagerness and subtlety than you can put into them ?
The image of Clerval was forever before me , ghastly and murdered .
It was a divine spring , and the season contributed greatly to my convalescence .
Still Perdita would expect him ; he wrote a few incoherent words on a scrap of paper , testifying that he was well , and bade the woman of the house take it to the palace , and deliver it into the hands of the wife of the Lord Protector .
I wept for a long time untill I saw him about to revive , when horror and misery again recurred , and the tide of my sensations rolled back to their former channel : with a terror I could not restrain I sprung up and fled , with winged speed , along the paths of the wood and across the fields untill nearly dead I reached our house and just ordering the servants to seek my father at the spot I indicated , I shut myself up in my own room .
Organs of articulate sound did not proclaim the union of our hearts ; for untoward circumstance allowed no opportunity for the expression that hovered on our lips .
I had several times seen him ride across the heath and felt angry that my solitude should be disturbed .
Woodville was free from all these evils ; and if slight examples did come across him he did not notice them but passed on in his course as an angel with winged feet might glide along the earth unimpeded by all those little obstacles over which we of earthly origin stumble .
When I had arrived at this point and had become as well acquainted with the theory and practice of natural philosophy as depended on the lessons of any of the professors at Ingolstadt , my residence there being no longer conducive to my improvements , I thought of returning to my friends and my native town , when an incident happened that protracted my stay .
We attempted to carry him into the cabin , but as soon as he had quitted the fresh air he fainted .
On perceiving me , the stranger addressed me in English , although with a foreign accent .
`` Good God He is gone But tell how this was ; speak quick '' Her relation was short .
`` Have you , then , some other attachment ? '' `` None on earth .
Besides , I found that my understanding improved so much with every day 's experience that I was unwilling to commence this undertaking until a few more months should have added to my sagacity .
He often left Perdita , to wander in the grounds alone ; or in a light shallop he floated idly on the pure waters , musing deeply .
Idris must not see him in this state .
The horse then galopped swiftly across the heath and the stranger remained on the ground stunned by his fall .
The change of scene operated to a great degree as I expected ; after a year 's absence , Perdita returned in gentler and more docile mood to Windsor .
Here aloft , the companions of the swift winged birds , we skim through the unresisting element , fleetly and fearlessly .
Aye , I might die my soul with falsehood untill I had quite hid its native colour .
Presently I heard the sound of footsteps along the passage ; the door opened , and the wretch whom I dreaded appeared .
They were formed for one another and they soon loved .
I was not angry on my own account , but I felt as if the praises which this idol received were leaves torn from laurels destined for Adrian .
Could we domesticate a cub of this wild beast , and not fear its growth and maturity ?
Are you to be happy while I grovel in the intensity of my wretchedness ?
Yet when I effected my purpose , all I could discern within the precincts of the massive walls was a city of fire : the open way through which Raymond had ridden was enveloped in smoke and flame .
He did not raise his , but after a short silence he replied to me in a low voice : `` You are indeed presumptuous , Mathilda , presumptuous and very rash .
Assuredly he had not conned his lesson ; and at first he hesitated , pausing in his ideas , and in the choice of his expressions .
In the south , the disease , virulent and immedicable , had nearly annihilated the race of man ; storm and inundation , poisonous winds and blights , filled up the measure of suffering .
At the battle of Makri he had led the charge of cavalry , and pursued the fugitives even to the banks of the Hebrus .
But it was not so , I was yet young , Oh far too young , nor was he dead to others ; but I , most miserable , must never see or speak to him again .
I had wandered towards Bracknel , far to the west of Windsor .
He said this in his most gay , yet benevolent manner , and smiled , not disdainfully , but in playful mockery of himself .
He had introduced himself to Adrian , by a request he made to observe some planetary motions from his glass .
I had visited it frequently during my boyhood .
Saying this , he suddenly quitted me , fearful , perhaps , of any change in my sentiments .
There was so much intelligence combined with innocence , sensibility with forbearance , and seriousness with perfect good humour , a beauty so transcendant , united to such endearing simplicity , that she hung like a pearl in the shrine of our possessions , a treasure of wonder and excellence .
England , late birth place of excellence and school of the wise , thy children are gone , thy glory faded Thou , England , wert the triumph of man Small favour was shewn thee by thy Creator , thou Isle of the North ; a ragged canvas naturally , painted by man with alien colours ; but the hues he gave are faded , never more to be renewed .
One only return did he owe me , even fidelity .
Still his mother did not despair .
This was not universal .
The spirit of superstition had birth , from the wreck of our hopes , and antics wild and dangerous were played on the great theatre , while the remaining particle of futurity dwindled into a point in the eyes of the prognosticators .
I must not be trifled with , and I demand an answer .
In our happiest days , Perdita had adorned her cottage with every aid art might bring , to that which nature had selected to favour .
`` Justine , you may remember , was a great favourite of yours ; and I recollect you once remarked that if you were in an ill humour , one glance from Justine could dissipate it , for the same reason that Ariosto gives concerning the beauty of Angelica she looked so frank hearted and happy .
We still had some attendants spared by disease , and warmly attached to us .
I saw vessels near the shore and found myself suddenly transported back to the neighbourhood of civilized man .
The forest glades , the ferny dells , and lawny uplands , the cultivated and cheerful country spread around the silver pathway of ancient Thames , all earth , air , and wave , took up one choral voice , inspired by memory , instinct with plaintive regret .
But now , as soon as the horses arrived , I hurried into a cabriolet , and bade farewell to my friend .
But this discovery was so great and overwhelming that all the steps by which I had been progressively led to it were obliterated , and I beheld only the result .
The moon I gazed with a kind of wonder .
On the th of December of that year , my companion and I crossed the Bay , to visit the antiquities which are scattered on the shores of Baiae .
The natural clinging of the human mind to life and joy was in its full energy in her young heart ; she gave herself impetuously up to the enchantment : they were married ; and in their radiant features I saw incarnate , for the last time , the spirit of love , of rapturous sympathy , which once had been the life of the world .
Evadne was two years older than Adrian ; and who , at eighteen , ever loved one so much their junior ?
Poor girl She wept when she quitted our house ; she was much altered since the death of my aunt ; grief had given softness and a winning mildness to her manners , which had before been remarkable for vivacity .
They went to the river to break the ice , and draw water : they assembled on foraging expeditions , or axe in hand felled the trees for fuel .
All I can say is , that it is so .
Among a race of independent , and generous , and well educated men , in a country where the imagination is empress of men 's minds , there needs be no fear that we should want a perpetual succession of the high born and lordly .
I renounced it to gain no matter what for that also I have lost .
The words of his letter by which he had dissuaded me from this step were those that determined me .
`` William is dead that sweet child , whose smiles delighted and warmed my heart , who was so gentle , yet so gay Victor , he is murdered `` I will not attempt to console you ; but will simply relate the circumstances of the transaction .
The gentle manners and beauty of the cottagers greatly endeared them to me ; when they were unhappy , I felt depressed ; when they rejoiced , I sympathized in their joys .
`` We can not hope to live so long in our names as some have done in their persons ; one face of Janus holds no proportion to the other . ''
Were not the mightiest men of the olden times kings ?
Perhaps there was besides a lurking dislike to bind herself in the face of the world to one whom she did not love not love , at least , with that passionate enthusiasm which her heart told her she might one day feel towards another .
Sometimes , indeed , I dreamt that I wandered in flowery meadows and pleasant vales with the friends of my youth , but I awoke and found myself in a dungeon .
I smiled incredulously , and replied : `` I am of Ryland 's way of thinking , and will , if you please , repeat all his arguments ; we shall see how far you will be induced by them , to change the royal for the patriotic style . ''
Even if they were to leave Europe and inhabit the deserts of the new world , yet one of the first results of those sympathies for which the daemon thirsted would be children , and a race of devils would be propagated upon the earth who might make the very existence of the species of man a condition precarious and full of terror .
I saw him too ; he was free last night '' `` I do not know what you mean , '' replied my brother , in accents of wonder , `` but to us the discovery we have made completes our misery .
Frankenstein , who was dozing , awoke and asked the cause of the tumult .
I formed in my imagination a thousand pictures of presenting myself to them , and their reception of me .
One thing you must promise , not to speak to any one but your uncle , of the conversation you have just overheard .
He had carried off their store of winter food , and placing it in a sledge , to draw which he had seized on a numerous drove of trained dogs , he had harnessed them , and the same night , to the joy of the horror struck villagers , had pursued his journey across the sea in a direction that led to no land ; and they conjectured that he must speedily be destroyed by the breaking of the ice or frozen by the eternal frosts .
I administered the fitting remedies , and left my sweet niece to watch beside him , and bring me notice of any change she should observe .
If she were to continue inflexible in the line of conduct she now pursued , they must part .
How strange , I thought , that the same cause should produce such opposite effects I examined the materials of the fire , and to my joy found it to be composed of wood .
For my hope who shall see it ?
There can be no community between you and me ; we are enemies .
I was encompassed by a cloud which no beneficial influence could penetrate .
She encouraged his craving for knowledge and his impetuous courage ; she even tolerated his tameless love of freedom , under the hope that this would , as is too often the case , lead to a passion for command .
At first the increase of sickness in spring brought increase of toil to such of us , who , as yet spared to life , bestowed our time and thoughts on our fellow creatures .
Meanwhile her active fancy wove a thousand combinations ; she dreamt `` of moving accidents by flood and field '' she lost herself delightedly in these self created wanderings , and returned with unwilling spirit to the dull detail of common life .
Shutting the door , he approached me and said in a smothered voice , `` You have destroyed the work which you began ; what is it that you intend ?
He sent even to Italy and Greece for drawings ; but , as the design was to be characterized by originality as well as by perfect beauty , his endeavours were for a time without avail .
Shall I meet you again , after having traversed immense seas , and returned by the most southern cape of Africa or America ?
The air resounded with their shouts ; their picturesque costume , and the gay colours of which it was composed , flaunted in the sunshine ; their eager gestures and rapid utterance accorded with their wild appearance .
At this period the name and exploits of one of my countrymen filled the world with admiration .
Guided by a slight clue , I followed the windings of the Rhone , but vainly .
There was so much of truth and nature in his resentment , that her doubts were dispelled .
Alas He is cold , he can not answer me . ''
What can I say ? if you refuse to aid me , I am lost indeed '' She cast up her eyes , while wonder held her auditors mute ; then , as if carried away by her feelings , she cried `` My brother beloved , ill fated Adrian how speak of your misfortunes ?
However , it was hardly morning , and I might reasonably hope to arrive by night .
It seems as if the giant waves of ocean , and vast arms of the sea , were about to wrench the deep rooted island from its centre ; and cast it , a ruin and a wreck , upon the fields of the Atlantic .
The disposition of Idris was peculiarly frank , soft , and affectionate .
I remained for several years their only child .
After the lapse of more than a year , Adrian returned from Greece .
Thus perhaps as the sensation of immediate suffering wore off , I became more human .
It was a curious fact , that at this period , when by the marriage of Perdita I was allied to one of the richest individuals in England , and was bound by the most intimate friendship to its chiefest noble , I experienced the greatest excess of poverty that I had ever known .
He was all gaiety ; scraps of songs fell from his lips ; every thought of his mind every object about us , gleamed under the sunshine of his mirth .
The body of the man who had landed , had been buried deep in the sands ; and none could tell more , than that the vessel was American built , and that several months before the Fortunatas had sailed from Philadelphia , of which no tidings were afterwards received .
Each long hour was counted , and `` He suffers '' was the burthen of all her thoughts .
I would not disturb you at this period , when so many misfortunes weigh upon you , but a conversation that I had with my uncle previous to his departure renders some explanation necessary before we meet .
My father was one of those men on whom nature had bestowed to prodigality the envied gifts of wit and imagination , and then left his bark of life to be impelled by these winds , without adding reason as the rudder , or judgment as the pilot for the voyage .
Not so with us , the remnant .
`` Justine Moritz Poor , poor girl , is she the accused ?
Many of our visitors left us : those whose homes were far in the south , fled delightedly from our northern winter , and sought their native land , secure of plenty even after their fearful visitation .
The last words of Evadne were the seal upon the warrant of my death .
Immense glaciers approached the road ; I heard the rumbling thunder of the falling avalanche and marked the smoke of its passage .
Fortunately the books were written in the language , the elements of which I had acquired at the cottage ; they consisted of Paradise Lost , a volume of Plutarch 's Lives , and the Sorrows of Werter .
In a moment however she revived , and , with energy , almost with violence , entreated me to saddle horses , to take her away , away to London to her brother at least to save her .
The wind , favourable to him , blew so strongly in shore , that we were unable , as we had at first intended , to meet him on his watery road .
The thunder ceased ; but the rain still continued , and the scene was enveloped in an impenetrable darkness .
The pain inflicted by this disappointment was tormenting and keen .
`` You are in the wrong , '' replied the fiend ; `` and instead of threatening , I am content to reason with you .
`` She was '' , he said , `` the brightest vision that ever came upon the earth : there was somthing in her frank countenance , in her voice , and in every motion of her graceful form that overpowered me , as if it were a celestial creature that deigned to mingle with me in intercourse more sweet than man had ever before enjoyed .
I afterwards learned that , knowing my father 's advanced age and unfitness for so long a journey , and how wretched my sickness would make Elizabeth , he spared them this grief by concealing the extent of my disorder .
Farewell , my dear , excellent Margaret .
My aunt was only relieved of her anxiety concerning his fate by a letter from him dated Hamburgh .
Oh , this was a delicious life quite void of guile I with my dove 's look and fox 's heart : for indeed I felt only the degradation of falsehood , and not any sacred sentiment of conscious innocence that might redeem it .
It was part of the Ex Queen 's plan , to surround her son with princely magnificence .
`` My dear father , you are mistaken ; Justine is innocent . ''
For myself , there was one reward I promised myself from my detested toils one consolation for my unparalleled sufferings ; it was the prospect of that day when , enfranchised from my miserable slavery , I might claim Elizabeth and forget the past in my union with her .
With the declining heat of a September night , a whirlwind of storm , thunder , and hail , rattled round the house , and with ghastly harmony sung the dirge of her family .
He heartily despised himself , he was angry with Perdita , and the idea of Evadne was attended by all that was hideous and cruel .
I looked back to my restless desires and painful struggles with my fellow beings as to a troubled dream , and felt myself as much changed as if I had transmigrated into another form , whose fresh sensorium and mechanism of nerves had altered the reflection of the apparent universe in the mirror of mind .
Take me mould me to your will , possess my heart and soul to all eternity .
She neglected even her child ; shutting her heart against all tenderness , she grew reserved towards me , her first and fast friend .
For a moment I could yield to the creative power of the imagination , and for a moment was soothed by the sublime fictions it presented to me .
I would not yield , but to the last gasp resolutely defended my dear ones against sorrow and pain ; and if I were vanquished at last , it should not be ingloriously .
Her intrigues with Russia for the furtherance of her object , excited the jealousy of the Porte , and the animosity of the Greek government .
It was madness I believe , but I so worked myself up to this idea that I could think of nothing else .
Urged by this view , I refused , and I did right in refusing , to create a companion for the first creature .
The air is empoisoned , and each human being inhales death , even while in youth and health , their hopes are in the flower .
Wretched devil You reproach me with your creation , come on , then , that I may extinguish the spark which I so negligently bestowed . ''
She was for a while the sole object of his reveries ; and Perdita became aware that his thoughts and time were bestowed on a subject unparticipated by her .
The physical state of man would soon not yield to the beatitude of angels ; disease was to be banished ; labour lightened of its heaviest burden .
My own heart was racked by regrets and remorse .
A short conversation passed between us , but the next day he again stopped at my cottage and by degrees an intimacy grew between us .
`` Yet such must be the impression conveyed to you by what appears to be the purport of my actions .
For the first time in my life I envied the sleep of the dead , and thought with pleasure of one 's bed under the sod , where grief and fear have no power .
I was required to exchange chimeras of boundless grandeur for realities of little worth .
So that when we make our hearts a lair for that gently seeming beast , its companion enters with it , and pitilessly lays waste what might have been an home and a shelter . ''
Now I was led to examine the cause and progress of this decay and forced to spend days and nights in vaults and charnel houses .
This idea was torture to him .
If you will comply with my conditions , I will leave them and you at peace ; but if you refuse , I will glut the maw of death , until it be satiated with the blood of your remaining friends . ''
Our numbers were to move forward in separate parties , and to go by different routes , all to unite at last at Paris .
Raymond , the deliverer of Greece , the graceful soldier , who bore in his mien a tinge of all that , peculiar to her native clime , Evadne cherished as most dear Raymond was loved by Evadne .
And now my wanderings began which are to cease but with life .
If my last combat is now about to be fought , and I am to be worsted so let it be '' `` But come , Ryland , recollect yourself Men have hitherto thought you magnanimous and wise , will you cast aside these titles ?
I was oppressed by fatigue and hunger and far too unhappy to enjoy the gentle breezes of evening or the prospect of the sun setting behind the stupendous mountains of Jura .
They shall go down together to the bars of the pit , when our rest together is in the dust Yes my hope was corruption and dust and all to which death brings us .
Thou and nature are still true to me .
At length the rooms began to thin .
At length we arrived at a large , desert , dark cavern , which the Lazzeroni assured us was the Sibyl 's Cave .
Readiness of talent , a capacity of entering into , and leading the dispositions of men ; earnest desire of distinction were the awakeners and nurses of his ambition .
Expectation , and hopes , and affection were all too much for me .
With such schooling did my poor Idris try to hush thronging fears , and in some measure succeeded .
I do not address them to you alone because it will give me pleasure to dwell upon our friendship in a way that would be needless if you alone read what I shall write .
Live stock diminished sensibly in the country , from the effects of the great demand in the market .
At length I gathered resolution to address him in a pause of the tempest of his passion .
The moon had reached her summit in the heavens and was beginning to descend ; the clouds swept across it swifter than the flight of the vulture and dimmed her rays , while the lake reflected the scene of the busy heavens , rendered still busier by the restless waves that were beginning to rise .
How in poor assemblage of words convey the halo of glory that surrounded her , the thousand graces that waited unwearied on her .
You may easily imagine that I was much gratified by the offered communication , yet I could not endure that he should renew his grief by a recital of his misfortunes .
She started wildly from her couch , and flew to the cabin window .
I believe it was that coming out with a determination not to be repulsed I went right forward to my object without well weighing his replies : I was led by passion and drew him with frantic heedlessness into the abyss that he so fearfully avoided I replied to his terrific words : `` You fill me with affright it is true , dearest father , but you only confirm my resolution to put an end to this state of doubt .
I grew impatient , I wept ; sic and wrung my hands but still I could not discover my path .
She had read no novels and associated only with her younger sisters , what could she know of the difference between love and friendship ?
There is no fruition in their vacant kindness , and sharp rocks lurk beneath the smiling ripples of these shallow waters .
He played a sweet mournful air which I perceived drew tears from the eyes of his amiable companion , of which the old man took no notice , until she sobbed audibly ; he then pronounced a few sounds , and the fair creature , leaving her work , knelt at his feet .
We were about to return homewards , when a voice , a human voice , strange now to hear , attracted our attention .
A few men came to aid him ; their numbers increased ; under their united blows the obstacle was vanquished , gate , portcullis , and fence were demolished ; and the wide sun lit way , leading to the heart of the city , now lay open before them .
As the rules of order and pressure of laws were lost , some began with hesitation and wonder to transgress the accustomed uses of society .
We passed rapidly along ; the sun was hot , but we were sheltered from its rays by a kind of canopy while we enjoyed the beauty of the scene , sometimes on one side of the lake , where we saw Mont Saleve , the pleasant banks of Montalegre , and at a distance , surmounting all , the beautiful Mont Blanc and the assemblage of snowy mountains that in vain endeavour to emulate her ; sometimes coasting the opposite banks , we saw the mighty Jura opposing its dark side to the ambition that would quit its native country , and an almost insurmountable barrier to the invader who should wish to enslave it .
My dream recurred to my thoughts ; I was not usually superstitious but in wretchedness every one is so .
The aspect of the country had so far changed , that it had been impossible to enter on the task of sowing seed , and other autumnal labours .
Then came the tale of hair breadth escapes , combats with dogs , ambush and flight , as gipsey like we encompassed our pot .
I can not live the object of suspicion you can not believe me let us part '' `` Exactly so , '' cried Perdita , `` I knew that it would come to this Are we not already parted ?
He wished to repay the kindness of the Athenians , to keep alive the splendid associations connected with his name , and to eradicate from Europe a power which , while every other nation advanced in civilization , stood still , a monument of antique barbarism .
You may see him his hair stuck with wild flowers his eyes full of untraceable meaning his voice broken his person wasted to a shadow .
During the first months of his Protectorate , Raymond and she had been inseparable ; each project was discussed with her , each plan approved by her .
He asked me several questions concerning my progress in the different branches of science appertaining to natural philosophy .
`` Come , '' said Raymond , `` I yielded to you yesterday , now comply with my request take the pencil . ''
Her guardian was not displeased with their mutual affection : the merit of Woodville was too eminent to admit of cavil on account of his inferior wealth ; but the dying will of her father did not allow her to marry before she was of age and her fortune depended upon her obeying this injunction .
The very danger drew them closer .
The myrtle bushes , the thyme , the little cyclamen , which peep from the fissures of the rock , all the produce of the place , bear affinity to him ; the light that invests the hills participates in his essence , and sky and mountains , sea and valley , are imbued by the presence of his spirit .
`` She most of all , '' said Ernest , `` requires consolation ; she accused herself of having caused the death of my brother , and that made her very wretched .
He was not at the palace ; and , though the attendants did not know whither he had gone , they did not expect him till late at night .
Ever after this , I thought , I would live in the most dreary seclusion .
Besides , is it not a shame , that the genius of Adrian should fade from the earth like a flower in an untrod mountain path , fruitless ?
`` I do know you better , '' I replied `` than to think that you would be happy in such a situation ; but the good you would do to others may be an inducement , since the time is probably arrived when you can put your theories into practice , and you may bring about such reformation and change , as will conduce to that perfect system of government which you delight to portray . ''
I will live and die here `` Go you to England , Lionel ; return to sweet Idris and dearest Adrian ; return , and let my orphan girl be as a child of your own in your house .
When his children had departed , he took up his guitar and played several mournful but sweet airs , more sweet and mournful than I had ever heard him play before .
Many saw , seated above his vice regal throne , a supreme Providence , who directed his shafts , and guided his progress , and they bowed their heads in resignation , or at least in obedience .
My cheek had grown pale with study , and my person had become emaciated with confinement .
The appearance of the plain was changed during this short interval ; the encampment was broken up ; the relics of the disbanded army met in small companies here and there ; each face was clouded ; every gesture spoke astonishment and dismay .
Here I hold communion only with the has been , and to come .
Justine , whom I loved and esteemed as my sister , how could she put on those smiles of innocence only to betray ?
He spoke with a broken voice , then bowed his head , and , hiding his face in his hands , wept .
He recognised the hand writing of Evadne , and the colour mounted in his cheeks .
I was already well acquainted with what I may term the panorama of nature , the change of seasons , and the various appearances of heaven and earth .
How ill you are What is the cause of all this ? '' `` Do not ask me , '' cried I , putting my hands before my eyes , for I thought I saw the dreaded spectre glide into the room ; `` HE can tell .
But the fresh air and bright sun seldom failed to restore me to some degree of composure , and on my return I met the salutations of my friends with a readier smile and a more cheerful heart .
Alas I am a most unhappy creature '' I was breathless with emotion , and I paused fixing my earnest eyes on my father , after I had dashed away the intrusive tears that dimmed them .
She was lovely ; her manners were frank and simple ; her deep blue eyes swam in a lustre which could only be given by sensibility joined to wisdom .
She herself wept as Elizabeth spoke , but she did not answer .
In the mean time , while I thus pampered myself with rich mental repasts , a peasant would have disdained my scanty fare , which I sometimes robbed from the squirrels of the forest .
We visited the north of England , my native Ulswater , and lingered in scenes dear from a thousand associations .
It was necessary that I should return without delay to Geneva , there to watch over the lives of those I so fondly loved and to lie in wait for the murderer , that if any chance led me to the place of his concealment , or if he dared again to blast me by his presence , I might , with unfailing aim , put an end to the existence of the monstrous image which I had endued with the mockery of a soul still more monstrous .
`` You have learnt a pretty lesson , Perdita , '' said I , `` and repeat it so literally , that you forget the while the proofs we have of the Earl 's virtues ; his generosity to us is manifest in our plenty , his bravery in the protection he affords us , his affability in the notice he takes of us .
I slept too undisturbed by dreams ; and awoke refreshed to again enjoy my tranquil freedom .
M. Krempe was not equally docile ; and in my condition at that time , of almost insupportable sensitiveness , his harsh blunt encomiums gave me even more pain than the benevolent approbation of M. Waldman .
By day and night these thoughts pursued me .
I dared hardly consider you as my daughter ; your beauty , artlessness and untaught wisdom seemed to belong to a higher order of beings ; your voice breathed forth only words of love : if there was aught of earthly in you it was only what you derived from the beauty of the world ; you seemed to have gained a grace from the mountain breezes the waterfalls and the lake ; and this was all of earthly except your affections that you had ; there was no dross , no bad feeling in the composition .
I felt as the sailor , who from the topmast first discovered the shore of America ; and like him I hastened to tell my companions of my discoveries in unknown regions .
Raymond felt no relief , received no pleasure from any show of heaven or earth .
This was a strange tale , but it did not shake my faith ; and I replied earnestly , `` You are all mistaken ; I know the murderer .
She was not her child , but the daughter of a Milanese nobleman .
Be you witnesses , '' and he took the star , insignia of office , from his breast , and threw it on the table .
Yet , when I am dead , if he should appear , if the ministers of vengeance should conduct him to you , swear that he shall not live swear that he shall not triumph over my accumulated woes and survive to add to the list of his dark crimes .
I left her , and soon heard that she slept soundly under the influence of the opiate I had administered .
For my own part , since Adrian had first withdrawn me from my selvatic wilderness to his own paradise of order and beauty , I had been wedded to literature .
At the same time that he taught me by their means to subdue my own reckless and uncultured spirit , he opened to my view the living page of his own heart , and gave me to feel and understand its wondrous character .
I was led to London , and had to endure for some weeks cold looks , cold words and colder consolations : but I escaped ; they tried to bind me with fetters that they thought silken , yet which weighed on me like iron , although I broke them more easily than a girth formed of a single straw and fled to freedom .
I wandered on , and the coming darkness made every trace indistinct by which I might be guided .
The mild exhortations of the old man and the lively conversation of the loved Felix were not for me .
This account may be taken as a sample of my intercourse with Lord Raymond .
He dismissed his servants there , only telling them that he had a sudden call of business and that they were to obey me as their mistress untill his return .
My father calmed me with assurances of their welfare and endeavoured , by dwelling on these subjects so interesting to my heart , to raise my desponding spirits ; but he soon felt that a prison can not be the abode of cheerfulness .
And now , dear Margaret , do I not deserve to accomplish some great purpose ?
The appetite for admiration and small capacity for self controul which I inherited from my father , nursed by adversity , made me daring and reckless .
The interval was , consequently , spent in inaction ; his grief only became more deep and rankling when he had leisure for reflection , and at length it took so fast hold of his mind that at the end of three months he lay on a bed of sickness , incapable of any exertion .
`` They shout , '' I said , `` because they will soon return to England . '' `` Do you , then , really return ? '' `` Alas Yes ; I can not withstand their demands .
He would rather have died such a death , which will be recorded in history to endless time , than have lived to old age unknown , unhonoured .
There is my hope and my expectation ; your 's are in this world ; may they be fulfilled .
Shame shame if the first magistrate of England be foremost to renounce his duties . ''
This was all accomplished even as I wished .
Among his other advantages , Lord Raymond was supremely handsome ; every one admired him ; of women he was the idol .
The meal was quickly dispatched .
I began to study more ; to sympathize more in the thoughts of others as expressed in books ; to read history , and to lose my individuallity among the crowd that had existed before me .
Methought I had been invited to Timon 's last feast ; I came with keen appetite , the covers were removed , the hot water sent up its unsatisfying steams , while I fled before the anger of the host , who assumed the form of Raymond ; while to my diseased fancy , the vessels hurled by him after me , were surcharged with fetid vapour , and my friend 's shape , altered by a thousand distortions , expanded into a gigantic phantom , bearing on its brow the sign of pestilence .
From your lips first have I heard the voice of kindness directed towards me ; I shall be forever grateful ; and your present humanity assures me of success with those friends whom I am on the point of meeting . ' `` 'May I know the names and residence of those friends ? ' `` I paused .
In Greece I had learnt to love him ; his very waywardness , and self abandonment to the impulses of superstition , attached me to him doubly ; it might be weakness , but it was the antipodes of all that was grovelling and selfish .
O blessed sleep Often , when most miserable , I sank to repose , and my dreams lulled me even to rapture .
Immediately before me was the Top Kapou , the gate near which Mahomet had made the breach by which he entered the city .
We had remained five months in London three of joy and two of sorrow .
She looked steadily on life and assumed its duties with courage and zeal .
This may seem madness to you , yet you also have pride and resolution ; do not then wonder that my pride is tameless , my resolution unalterable . ''
This passion is detrimental to me , for you do not reflect that YOU are the cause of its excess .
The very heart and soul of Raymond and Perdita had mingled , even as two mountain brooks that join in their descent , and murmuring and sparkling flow over shining pebbles , beside starry flowers ; but let one desert its primal course , or be dammed up by choaking obstruction , and the other shrinks in its altered banks .
Each day , before dawn , we left our night 's encampment , and watched the shadows as they retreated from hill and valley , and the golden splendour of the sun 's approach .
Subscriptions were made for the emigrants , and merchants bankrupt by the failure of trade .
She had not even the same advantage as I in the recollection of her parents ; she clung to me , her brother , as her only friend , but her alliance with me completed the distaste that her protectors felt for her ; and every error was magnified by them into crimes .
For some time , the spirit of hilarity was kept up ; but , at length , Perdita receded from the piano , for Raymond had joined in the trio of `` Taci ingiusto core , '' in Don Giovanni , whose arch entreaty was softened by him into tenderness , and thrilled her heart with memories of the changed past ; it was the same voice , the same tone , the self same sounds and words , which often before she had received , as the homage of love to her no longer was it that ; and this concord of sound with its dissonance of expression penetrated her with regret and despair .
I lay upon the grass surrounded by a darkness which not the slightest beam of light penetrated There was no sound for the deep night had laid to sleep the insects , the only creatures that lived on the lone spot where no tree or shrub could afford shelter to aught else There was a wondrous silence in the air that calmed my senses yet which enlivened my soul , my mind hurried from image to image and seemed to grasp an eternity .
The guides bring with them materials for renewing the light , but we had none our only resource was to return as we came .
Even so was it with the army of Greece .
On the eve of the third day I retired early to my room ; I could not sleep but paced all night about my chamber and , as you may in Scotland at midsummer , watched the crimson track of the sun as it almost skirted the northern horizon .
I was answered through the stillness of night by a loud and fiendish laugh .
Day after day passed while we discussed our projects for the evening , and each night was occupied by debates which offered no conclusion .
The effect of this scene of incantation communicated a portion of its power to that which followed .
`` Do not answer ; I know all your objections , and will reply to them in order .
I do not think that the pursuit of knowledge is an exception to this rule .
If I survive , and she be lost , I were far better dead .
If she died , where could there be found on record a murderer , whose cruel act might compare with his ?
In reply , my sister requested me to accompany her the following evening to the tomb of Raymond .
He had neither the ennobling self gratulation , which constancy inspires , to console him , nor the voluptuous sense of abandonment to a forbidden , but intoxicating passion .
Idris endeavoured to persuade her to remain .
What had she done the while , how supported his absence and neglect ?
I had gazed with wonder , mixed with fear and enthusiasm .
Without the aid of servants , it was necessary to discharge all household duties ; hands unused to such labour must knead the bread , or in the absence of flour , the statesmen or perfumed courtier must undertake the butcher 's office .
Adrian perceived the change , and feared that it would be difficult to prevent them from wreaking their utmost fury on the Irish .
Let us lament over and assist the children of the garden of the earth .
Their only inhabitant , a little girl , was dancing , waltzing , and singing about them , followed by a large Newfoundland dog , who boisterously jumping on her , and interrupting her , made her now scold , now laugh , now throw herself on the carpet to play with him .
After an interval I arose , and as if by instinct , crawled into the room where the corpse of my beloved lay .
Thus strangely are our souls constructed , and by such slight ligaments are we bound to prosperity or ruin .
At first he did not take his eyes from the papers ; when he raised them , he was struck by the wretchedness manifest on her altered cheek ; for a moment he forgot his own acts and fears , and asked with consternation `` Dearest girl , what is the matter ; what has happened ? ''
We cut branches of the funereal trees and placed them over him , and on these again his sword .
I felt as if he had placed carefully , one by one , in my view those instruments which were to be afterwards used in putting me to a slow and cruel death .
By great application , however , and after having remained during the space of several revolutions of the moon in my hovel , I discovered the names that were given to some of the most familiar objects of discourse ; I learned and applied the words , 'fire , ' 'milk , ' 'bread , ' and 'wood . '
She was very earnest to see the corpse .
The monster saw my determination in my face and gnashed his teeth in the impotence of anger .
To this state there was no hope , no alleviation , unless the grave should quickly receive its destined prey , and she be permitted to die , before she experienced a thousand living deaths in the loss of those she loved .
She returned to the house about eight o'clock , and when one inquired where she had passed the night , she replied that she had been looking for the child and demanded earnestly if anything had been heard concerning him .
I knew that I ought to hasten my descent towards the valley , as I should soon be encompassed in darkness ; but my heart was heavy , and my steps slow .
I dreaded to behold this monster , but I feared still more that Henry should see him .
Meanwhile among our guests in the park , all thoughts of festivity had faded .
This aroused the stranger 's attention , and he asked a multitude of questions concerning the route which the demon , as he called him , had pursued .
But to me the remembrance of the threat returned ; nor can you wonder that , omnipotent as the fiend had yet been in his deeds of blood , I should almost regard him as invincible , and that when he had pronounced the words `` I SHALL BE WITH YOU ON YOUR WEDDING NIGHT , '' I should regard the threatened fate as unavoidable .
But my enthusiasm was checked by my anxiety , and I appeared rather like one doomed by slavery to toil in the mines , or any other unwholesome trade than an artist occupied by his favourite employment .
A grin was on the face of the monster ; he seemed to jeer , as with his fiendish finger he pointed towards the corpse of my wife .
Or so my fond fancy imaged some accident might meanwhile occur to destroy him and put an end to my slavery forever .
Their extreme youth , and the purity of their attachment , made them yield with less resistance to the tyranny of circumstances .
Poor fellow he lay stretched on a bed of sickness , his cheeks glowing with the hues of fever , his eyes half closed , his breath irregular and difficult .
And this medley of undamaged buildings , and luxurious accommodation , in trim and fresh youth , was contrasted with the lonely silence of the unpeopled streets .
By the grandeur of his conceptions , the graceful daring of his actions , by his wit and beauty , he won and ruled the minds of all .
He scarcely appeared half his usual height ; his joints were unknit , his limbs would not support him ; his face was contracted , his eye wandering ; debility of purpose and dastard fear were expressed in every gesture .
His judgment , activity , and consummate bravery , justified their choice .
I lived with a farmer whose house was built higher up among the hills : a dark crag rose behind it , and , exposed to the north , the snow lay in its crevices the summer through .
Vanity first prompted me to ask you : vanity , I call it ; yet even in this I see the hand of fate your presence will soon be necessary ; you will become the last resource of Perdita , her protector and consoler .
Raymond , the ambitious , restless Raymond , reposed midway on the great high road of life , and was content to give up all his schemes of sovereignty and fame , to make one of us , the flowers of the field .
He replied in a hollow voice , `` Why deceive a helpless old man , why talk hypocritically to one half crazed ?
`` 'Heaven forbid Even if you were really criminal , for that can only drive you to desperation , and not instigate you to virtue .
If you had listened to the voice of conscience and heeded the stings of remorse before you had urged your diabolical vengeance to this extremity , Frankenstein would yet have lived . ''
Did not I appear sanctified , even to myself , because this love had for its temple my heart ?
Thus , while Perdita was entertaining her guests , and anxiously awaiting the arrival of her lord , his ring was brought her ; and she was told that a poor woman had a note to deliver to her from its wearer .
At times like these , minute circumstances assume giant and majestic proportions ; the very swinging open of the white gate that admitted us into the forest , arrested my thoughts as matter of interest ; it was an every day act , never to occur again The setting crescent of the moon glittered through the massy trees to our right , and when we entered the park , we scared a troop of deer , that fled bounding away in the forest shades .
Sometimes she reproached herself for taking too bitterly to heart , that which many would esteem an imaginary evil ; but this was no subject for reason ; and , ignorant as she was of the motives and true conduct of Raymond , things assumed for her even a worse appearance , than the reality warranted .
This professor was very unlike his colleague .
Several weeks had elapsed since the festival of the anniversary , and she had been unable to calm her mind , or to subdue her thoughts to any regular train .
He tried to make us act plays and to enter into masquerades , in which the characters were drawn from the heroes of Roncesvalles , of the Round Table of King Arthur , and the chivalrous train who shed their blood to redeem the holy sepulchre from the hands of the infidels .
I asked , it is true , for greater treasures than a little food or rest : I required kindness and sympathy ; but I did not believe myself utterly unworthy of it .
`` It seems that the total destruction of Constantinople , and the supposition that winter had purified the air of the fallen city , gave the Greeks courage to visit its site , and begin to rebuild it .
My application was at first fluctuating and uncertain ; it gained strength as I proceeded and soon became so ardent and eager that the stars often disappeared in the light of morning whilst I was yet engaged in my laboratory .
I had passed two whole years alone unrepining , but now I was miserable .
Raymond had quitted the palace the night before ; he had promised to grace the assembly , but he had not yet returned .
Upon hearing this he appeared satisfied and consented to come on board .
I lifted her into the chaise ; I assured her that with our four horses we should arrive in London before five o'clock , the hour when she would be sought and missed .
Thus , sweetest , I shall not appear to die .
Born at Athens , that city claimed him for her own , and by giving him the command of her peculiar division in the army , the commander in chief only possessed superior power .
Thus often , pushing my way with difficulty through the narrow snow blocked town , I crossed the bridge and passed through Eton .
`` Felix had accidentally been present at the trial ; his horror and indignation were uncontrollable when he heard the decision of the court .
The empire of the Mahometans in Europe was at its close .
She never caressed me , and seemed all the time I staid in the room to fear that I should annoy her by some childish freak .
A silence prevailed , till one of the members coming to me , whispered that the Earl of Windsor had sent him word that I was to move his election , in the absence of the person who had been first chosen for this office .
I have prevented his encountering the inconveniences and perhaps dangers of so long a journey , yet how often have I regretted not being able to perform it myself I figure to myself that the task of attending on your sickbed has devolved on some mercenary old nurse , who could never guess your wishes nor minister to them with the care and affection of your poor cousin .
I built my hope on your confidence .
At noon we met again , and we threw away in contempt our peasant fare , as we built our fire place and kindled the cheering blaze destined to cook the game stolen from the neighbouring preserves .
Her letter to Raymond gave no clue for discovery ; it assured him , that she was in no danger of wanting the means of life ; she promised in it to preserve herself , and some future day perhaps to present herself to him in a station not unworthy of her .
He was all animation ; you could no longer trace in his look of health , the suffering valetudinarian ; from his smile and sprightly tones you could not guess that he was about to lead forth from their native country , the numbered remnant of the English nation , into the tenantless realms of the south , there to die , one by one , till the LAST MAN should remain in a voiceless , empty world .
Does the reader wish to hear of the pest houses , where death is the comforter of the mournful passage of the death cart of the insensibility of the worthless , and the anguish of the loving heart of harrowing shrieks and silence dire of the variety of disease , desertion , famine , despair , and death ?
The overgrown metropolis , the great heart of mighty Britain , was pulseless .
Suffering and amiability may exist together , and writers have loved to depict their conjunction ; there is a human and touching harmony in the picture .
On hearing this information I suffered a temporary access of despair .
We passed through busy towns and cultivated plains .
Pardon this gush of sorrow ; these ineffectual words are but a slight tribute to the unexampled worth of Henry , but they soothe my heart , overflowing with the anguish which his remembrance creates .
`` Is this your promised zeal ? '' `` Pardon me , '' I said , `` but even as you speak , I am gone . ''
I lost sight of her , and in about a quarter of an hour she returned bearing the pail , which was now partly filled with milk .
No time or space can tear from my soul that which makes a part of it .
She was half mad from the effects of uncontrollable agitation .
Most men ruthlessly destroy the sacred veil , with which the female heart is wont to adorn the idol of its affections .
As I marked the placid expression that had settled on her countenance in death , I felt , in spite of the pangs of remorse , in spite of heart rending regret , that it was better to die so , than to drag on long , miserable years of repining and inconsolable grief .
I alluded to the coldness of her letters ; but the few minutes we had spent together sufficiently explained the origin of this .
One secret which I alone possessed was the hope to which I had dedicated myself ; and the moon gazed on my midnight labours , while , with unrelaxed and breathless eagerness , I pursued nature to her hiding places .
I was for ever with him .
A length I found that he had altered his route ; at first he had followed the London road ; but now he changed it , and upon enquiry I found that the one which he now pursued led towards the sea .
I was their plaything and their idol , and something better their child , the innocent and helpless creature bestowed on them by heaven , whom to bring up to good , and whose future lot it was in their hands to direct to happiness or misery , according as they fulfilled their duties towards me .
But even if I were condemned to suffer on the scaffold for the same crimes , I would not change places with such a wretch . ''
I passed whole days on the lake alone in a little boat , watching the clouds and listening to the rippling of the waves , silent and listless .
Yet one moment , one brief interval before I put from shore once , once again let me fancy myself as I was in in my abode at Windsor , let me close my eyes , and imagine that the immeasurable boughs of its oaks still shadow me , its castle walls anear .
I hastened to carry the intelligence of these strange proceedings to Perdita ; and we were soon joined by Raymond .
Once my heart sat lightly in my bosom ; all the beauty of the world was doubly beautiful , irradiated by the sun light shed from my own soul .
After awhile she discovered , that amidst all her newly acquired knowledge , her own character , which formerly she fancied that she thoroughly understood , became the first in rank among the terrae incognitae , the pathless wilds of a country that had no chart .
What a noble boon , worthy the giver , is the imagination it takes from reality its leaden hue : it envelopes all thought and sensation in a radiant veil , and with an hand of beauty beckons us from the sterile seas of life , to her gardens , and bowers , and glades of bliss .
The plague entered the village ; and , while fright and grief deprived the inhabitants of the little wisdom they possessed , old Martha stepped forward and said `` Before now I have been in a town where there was the plague . ''
A youngster who , but a few years ago , believed in Cornelius Agrippa as firmly as in the gospel , has now set himself at the head of the university ; and if he is not soon pulled down , we shall all be out of countenance .
Thus not the tenderness of friendship , nor the beauty of earth , nor of heaven , could redeem my soul from woe ; the very accents of love were ineffectual .
He had returned , and he wrote to know whether my aunt would come to London or whether he should visit her in Scotland .
From the one we gather unquiet speculation , from the other satiety .
For the last time we looked on the wide extent of country visible from the terrace , and saw the last rays of the sun tinge the dark masses of wood variegated by autumnal tints ; the uncultivated fields and smokeless cottages lay in shadow below ; the Thames wound through the wide plain , and the venerable pile of Eton college , stood in dark relief , a prominent object ; the cawing of the myriad rooks which inhabited the trees of the little park , as in column or thick wedge they speeded to their nests , disturbed the silence of evening .
When night came on , she begged that Clara might sleep in a separate cabin .
How petty do the actions of our earthly life appear when the whole universe is opened to our gaze yet there our passions are deep irrisisbable sic and as we are floating hopless yet clinging to hope down the impetuous stream can we perceive the beauty of its banks which alas my soul was too turbid to reflect If knowledge is the end of our being why are passions feelings implanted in us that hurries sic us from wisdom to selfconcentrated misery narrow selfish feeling ?
To drag hour after hour , to see the trees wave their branches restlessly , to feel the air , to suffer in all I feel keenest agony .
I was very ill for a long time , and when I recovered from the immediate danger of fever , every symptom of a rapid consumption declared itself .
We were as a man who hears that his house is burning , and yet hurries through the streets , borne along by a lurking hope of a mistake , till he turns the corner , and sees his sheltering roof enveloped in a flame .
Shall I bow my head before them , and with servile gesture sell my nobility for life ?
I was guiltless , but I had indeed drawn down a horrible curse upon my head , as mortal as that of crime .
America had also received the taint ; and , were it yellow fever or plague , the epidemic was gifted with a virulence before unfelt .
You long for death and yet you fear it and wish me to be your companion .
Agatha asked a question , to which the stranger only replied by pronouncing , in a sweet accent , the name of Felix .
Not with Raymond , who was unconscious of the misery he occasioned ; not with Evadne , for her his soul wept tears of blood poor , mistaken girl , slave not tyrant was she , and amidst his own anguish he grieved for her future destiny .
In the morning I went to the court ; my lips and throat were parched .
She slept ; and quiet prevailed in the Castle , whose inhabitants were hushed to repose .
Already the defenceless citizens had suffered through the barbarity of the Janisaries ; and , in time of storm , tumult and massacre , beauty , infancy and decrepitude , would have alike been sacrificed to the brutal ferocity of the soldiers .
And since in the wide world thou remainest , why should I complain ?
I entered , and one glance assured me that its former inhabitant was no more he lay on a heap of straw , cold and stiff ; while a pernicious effluvia filled the room , and various stains and marks served to shew the virulence of the disorder .
If she is , as you believe , innocent , rely on the justice of our laws , and the activity with which I shall prevent the slightest shadow of partiality . ''
She was delighted to see us ; caressed our children , praised their growth and improvement ; Clara also was pleased to meet again her young friend Alfred ; all kinds of childish games were entered into , in which Perdita joined .
The multitude extolled the same poems that formed the wonder of the sage in his closet : there was not one dissentient voice .
I exclaimed , `` I have now found out the secret '' `` What secret ? ''
The evil was so wide spreading , so violent and immedicable , that no care , no prevention could be judged superfluous , which even added a chance to our escape .
Even Adrian was obliged in part to yield , that he might be able , if not to guide , at least to set bounds to the license of the times .
I , who had ever been surrounded by amiable companions , continually engaged in endeavouring to bestow mutual pleasure I was now alone .
It was May , four years ago , that I first saw my beloved father ; it was in May , three years ago that my folly destroyed the only being I was doomed to love .
I related my meeting with her ; the story of her death was told and re told .
But all at close of day , with riven planks and rent canvas make for shore , and are either wrecked ere they reach it , or find some wave beaten haven , some desart strand , whereon to cast themselves and die unmourned .
The storm , as is often the case in Switzerland , appeared at once in various parts of the heavens .
It was in Rome the Queen of the World that I suffered a misfortune that reduced me to misery despair The bright sun deep azure sky were oppressive but nought was so hateful as the voice of Man I loved to walk by the shores of the Tiber which were solitary if the sirocco blew to see the swift clouds pass over St. Peters and the many domes of Rome or if the sun shone I turned my eyes from the sky whose light was too dazzling gay to be reflected in my tearful eyes I turned them to the river whose swift course was as the speedy departure of happiness and whose turbid colour was gloomy as grief Whether I slept I know not or whether it was in one of those many hours which I spent seated on the ground my mind a chaos of despair my eyes for ever wet by tears but I was here visited by a lovely spirit whom I have ever worshiped who tried to repay my adoration by diverting my mind from the hideous memories that racked it .
How few in youth 's prime , moor their vessels on the `` golden sands , '' and collect the painted shells that strew them .
I was dressed also in a whimsical nunlike habit which denoted that I did not retire to solitude from necessity , but that I might indulge in a luxury of grief , and fanciful seclusion .
The patriarchal lives of my protectors caused these impressions to take a firm hold on my mind ; perhaps , if my first introduction to humanity had been made by a young soldier , burning for glory and slaughter , I should have been imbued with different sensations .
I understand your feeling , '' continued he , perceiving that I wished to interrupt him ; `` but you are mistaken , my friend , if thus you will allow me to name you ; nothing can alter my destiny ; listen to my history , and you will perceive how irrevocably it is determined . ''
Her head lay on my shoulder , her breath waved my hair , her heart beat near mine , transport made me tremble , blinded me , annihilated me till a suppressed groan , bursting from her lips , the chattering of her teeth , which she strove vainly to subdue , and all the signs of suffering she evinced , recalled me to the necessity of speed and succour .
Like a refreshing shower on an arid soil they revived me , and although I still kept their cause secret he led me to pour forth my bitter complaints and to clothe my woe in words of gall and fire .
She died on the first approach of cold weather , at the beginning of this last winter .
A murmur of approbation rose after his speech .
Do not talk of reflection ; from this moment I abjure it ; this is my only happy moment during a long interval of time .
Meanwhile Clerval occupied himself , so to speak , with the moral relations of things .
I hired men to row and took an oar myself , for I had always experienced relief from mental torment in bodily exercise .
you could not hope to conquer , and yet you gave me the pain of a triumph over my dearest friend . ''
I saw the brow of Idris clouded ; I again felt , that we were enchained to the car of fate , over whose coursers we had no control .
My strength was gone .
At the beginning of winter our Alfred , now nine years of age , first went to school at Eton .
Suddenly he started up and fled from me ; I pursued him : we sped over the fields , and by the skirts of woods , and on the banks of rivers ; he flew fast and I followed .
As it was an epidemic , its chief force was derived from pernicious qualities in the air , and it would probably do little harm where this was naturally salubrious .
It was as well to fail at last after a struggle , as to fly now at the beginning of his enterprise .
Covering the earth with their creations and forming by the power of their minds another world more lovely than the visible frame of things , even all the world that we find in their writings .
Our single boatman attended to the sail ; Raymond steered ; Clara sat at his feet , clasping his knees with her arms , and laying her head on them .
But while I live , promise not to betray me ; promise , my child . ''
I stood on the brink of manhood ; passions , strong as the trees of a forest , had already taken root within me , and were about to shadow with their noxious overgrowth , my path of life .
I crept along by the fern , on my hands and knees , seeking the shadowy coverts of the underwood , while the birds awoke with unwelcome song above , and the fresh morning wind , playing among the boughs , made me suspect a footfall at each turn .
Left to myself , I strove with painful intensity to divine the motive of his request and foresee the events of the coming day .
Upon this occasion my father said , with an expression of unbounded wonder , `` My dearest Victor , what infatuation is this ?
`` To morrow if you will . ''
He lived for some time never looking on the light of heaven but shrouding his eyes in a perpetual darkness far from all that could remind him of what he had been ; but as time softened his grief like a true child of Nature he sought in the enjoyment of her beauties for a consolation in his unhappiness .
Oh There is a fearful chasm ; but I adjure you to beware '' `` Ah , dearest friend '' I cried , `` do not fear Speak that word ; it will bring peace , not death .
To me they stood in the place of an active career , of ambition , and those palpable excitements necessary to the multitude .
Yet not to excite fresh agitation in her , `` per non turbar quel bel viso sereno , '' I curbed my delight .
This ice is not made of such stuff as your hearts may be ; it is mutable and can not withstand you if you say that it shall not .
O come Farewell to the dead farewell to the tombs of those we loved farewell to giant London and the placid Thames , to river and mountain or fair district , birth place of the wise and good , to Windsor Forest and its antique castle , farewell themes for story alone are they , we must live elsewhere .
All outward things seemed to have lost their existence relatively to him and only one circumstance could in any degree recall him from his motionless and mute despair : he would never see me .
Thus we began to feel , with regard to many visaged death let loose on the chosen districts of our fair habitation , and above all , with regard to the plague .
The God sends down his angry plagues from high , Famine and pestilence in heaps they die .
She had fortunately small cause for fear .
Such a scene must have been one of deepest interest and high wrought passion .
I have declared my resolution to you , and I am no coward to bend beneath words .
Each village , however small , usually contains a leader , one among themselves whom they venerate , whose advice they seek in difficulty , and whose good opinion they chiefly value .
For a short space of time I remained at the window watching the pallid lightnings that played above Mont Blanc and listening to the rushing of the Arve , which pursued its noisy way beneath .
He passed his younger days perpetually occupied by the affairs of his country ; a variety of circumstances had prevented his marrying early , nor was it until the decline of life that he became a husband and the father of a family .
`` How is this ? '' he cried .
Our little island was filled even to bursting .
Alas that in human nature such a pitch of mental discipline , and disdainful negligence of nature itself , should not have been allied to the extreme of moral excellence But the resolution that permitted her to resist the pains of privation , sprung from the too great energy of her passions ; and the concentrated self will of which this was a sign , was destined to destroy even the very idol , to preserve whose respect she submitted to this detail of wretchedness .
But it is even so ; the fallen angel becomes a malignant devil .
If you refuse to contribute to my happiness , I quit England to night , and will never set foot in it again .
Faint hearted It is well , shut up in your castle , out of danger , to boast yourself out of fear .
I would not remain on the sea coast , but proceeded immediately inland .
Have you drunk also of the intoxicating draught ?
Then , with lack lustre eyes , grey hairs , and wrinkled brow , though now the words sound hollow and meaningless , then , tottering on the grave 's extreme edge , I may be your affectionate and true friend , `` PERDITA . ''
I alighted and was conducted to my solitary apartment to spend the evening as I pleased .
Under the influence of these circumstances his passions found a deep soil wherein they might strike their roots and flourish either as flowers or weeds as was their nature .
The different accidents of life are not so changeable as the feelings of human nature .
This was a strange speech , now that , on the empty stage , each might play his part without impediment from the other .
Feel you not the earth quake and open with agonizing groans , while the air is pregnant with shrieks and wailings , all announcing the last days of man ?
We stayed several hours with Justine , and it was with great difficulty that Elizabeth could tear herself away .
Everyone loved Elizabeth .
Felix and Agatha spent more time in amusement and conversation , and were assisted in their labours by servants .
The south is the native place of the human race ; the land of fruits , more grateful to man than the hard earned Ceres of the north , of trees , whose boughs are as a palace roof , of couches of roses , and of the thirst appeasing grape .
My labours have cheered long hours of solitude , and taken me out of a world , which has averted its once benignant face from me , to one glowing with imagination and power .
Heaven shower down blessings on you , and save me , that I may again and again testify my gratitude for all your love and kindness .
He was met on the threshold by some insult , real or imaginary ; some repulse , where he least expected it ; some disappointment , hard for his pride to bear .
If , under any circumstances , she could have acquired sufficient courage to address the noble persons mentioned by her husband , the ill success of his own application caused her to banish the idea .
It is impossible ; one might as well try to overtake the winds , or confine a mountain stream with a straw .
Several strange facts combined against her , which might have staggered anyone who had not such proof of her innocence as I had .
But the beauty and regularity of the new town of Edinburgh , its romantic castle and its environs , the most delightful in the world , Arthur 's Seat , St. Bernard 's Well , and the Pentland Hills compensated him for the change and filled him with cheerfulness and admiration .
He remembered the words of her letter and he indulged the wild idea that his kisses breathing warm love and life would infuse new spirit into her , and that with him near her she could not die ; that his presence was the talisman of her life .
The triumph of my enemy increased with the difficulty of my labours .
But it is not a matter of choice ; I can live here only .
To have him once more in my arms , to see him , however changed , is all I desire .
He was descended from a good family in France , where he had lived for many years in affluence , respected by his superiors and beloved by his equals .
`` Dear mountains my own beautiful lake how do you welcome your wanderer ?
`` Dearest , dearest father , pity me and pardon me : I entreat you do not drive me to despair ; indeed I must not be repulsed ; there is one thing that which sic although it may torture me to know , yet that you must tell me .
But curiosity soon awoke , and an earnest love of knowledge , which caused me to pass days and nights in reading and study .
The grave yawned beneath us all , and its prospect prevented any of us from enjoying the ease and plenty which in so awful a manner was presented to us .
Tall , thin , and strait , her face still handsome , her raven hair hardly tinged with grey , her forehead arched and beautiful , had not the eye brows been somewhat scattered it was impossible not to be struck by her , almost to fear her .
I have a friend who loves me as his life , and in whose breast I should infix a mortal sting if I ungratefully left him .
I was still smarting from my own disappointment ; yet this scene oppressed me even to terror , nor could I interrupt his access of passion .
The father of the fair Juliet separated them ; but not until the young lover had promised to remain absent only till he had rendered himself worthy of her , and she had vowed to preserve her virgin heart , his treasure , till he returned to claim and possess it .
Alas I who so lately knew of nought but the joy of life ; who had slept only to dream sweet dreams and awoke to incomparable happiness , I now passed my days and nights in tears .
Oh When will my guiding spirit , in conducting me to the daemon , allow me the rest I so much desire ; or must I die , and he yet live ?
To morrow , loveliest and best , hope and joy of my life , to morrow I will see thee Fool , to dream of a moment 's delay I went to rest .
Now it seemed to me to be as a various river flowing through a fertile and lovely lanscape , ever changing and ever beautiful .
I visited with my father every delightful spot , either on the islands , or by the side of the tree sheltered waterfalls ; every shady path , or dingle entangled with underwood and fern .
Happy , happy earth Fit habitation for gods , which , so short a time before , was bleak , damp , and unwholesome .
M. Krempe was a little squat man with a gruff voice and a repulsive countenance ; the teacher , therefore , did not prepossess me in favour of his pursuits .
He accused me of melancholy , of ill humour and envy .
These astounding words came on him as of less fearful import than those which he had expected ; and to learn that she was still in being , and that he might still hope was an alleviation to him .
She also might turn with disgust from him to the superior beauty of man ; she might quit him , and he be again alone , exasperated by the fresh provocation of being deserted by one of his own species .
Thus , in early day , she left us for the company of the dead , and preferred to share the rocky grave of Raymond , before the animated scene this cheerful earth afforded , and the society of loving friends .
`` Yet I fear that the same feelings now exist that made you so miserable a year ago , even perhaps augmented by time .
Their faces expressed a mixture of curiosity and anger , which annoyed and in some degree alarmed me .
I considered the being whom I had cast among mankind , and endowed with the will and power to effect purposes of horror , such as the deed which he had now done , nearly in the light of my own vampire , my own spirit let loose from the grave , and forced to destroy all that was dear to me .
He could not really care for me , I thought , for if he did the storm would rather have made him come even if I had not expected him , than , as it did , prevent a promised visit .
Did I ever in the wide world seek other than thee ?
That he need not plunge into this destructive dissipation for the sake of disgusting me , and causing me to fly .
`` A considerable period elapsed before I discovered one of the causes of the uneasiness of this amiable family : it was poverty , and they suffered that evil in a very distressing degree .
When I thought of him I gnashed my teeth , my eyes became inflamed , and I ardently wished to extinguish that life which I had so thoughtlessly bestowed .
It was his surpassing beauty , the dazzling fire of his eyes , and his words whose rich accents wrapt the listener in mute and extactic wonder , that made him transcend all others so that before him they appeared only formed to minister to his superior excellence .
The ball had entered my shoulder , and I knew not whether it had remained there or passed through ; at any rate I had no means of extracting it .
Its hills are covered with vines , and its cottages are scattered thickly in the plains .
This being you must create . ''
On the first approach of his disorder , he travelled about from one place to another ; until , arriving at that romantic seclusion he refused to quit it , and we made arrangements with the Duke for his continuing there . ''
He had appeared each evening , impatience and anger marked in his looks , scowling on us from the opposite side of St. Stephen 's , as if his mere frown would cast eclipse on our hopes .
My generous friend reassured the suppliant , and on being informed of the name of her lover , instantly abandoned his pursuit .
Beware , for I am fearless and therefore powerful .
Woodville had told me that there was in my countenance an expression as if I belonged to another world ; so he had seen that sign : and there it lay a gloomy mark to tell the world that there was that within my soul that no silence could render sufficiently obscure .
He sat by her , he took her hand , and said a thousand things which breathed the deepest spirit of compassion and affection .
Yet we advanced slowly : sometimes I thought that we should never arrive ; that the sound of waves would still allure us , and that we should walk on for ever and ever : field succeeding field , never would our weary journey cease , nor night nor day ; but still we should hear the dashing of the sea , and to all this there would be no end .
It was not will that she wanted , but the capacity ; again and again she declared , it were as easy to enchain the sea , to put reins on the wind 's viewless courses , as for her to take truth for falsehood , deceit for honesty , heartless communion for sincere , confiding love .
They did not appear rich , but they were contented and happy ; their feelings were serene and peaceful , while mine became every day more tumultuous .
During my absence I should leave my friends unconscious of the existence of their enemy and unprotected from his attacks , exasperated as he might be by my departure .
I felt as if I were placed under a ban as if I had no right to claim their sympathies as if never more might I enjoy companionship with them .
Does he not on the contrary feel a freedom of will within him , which , though you may call it fallacious , still actuates him as he decides ? ''
They had not been long married , and their eldest child was but just born .
Gradually the object of fear sank beneath the horizon , and to the last shot up shadowy beams into the otherwise radiant air .
Nay , these are virtuous and immaculate beings I , the miserable and the abandoned , am an abortion , to be spurned at , and kicked , and trampled on .
I indeed perceptibly gained on it , and when , after nearly two days ' journey , I beheld my enemy at no more than a mile distant , my heart bounded within me .
We perpetually made excursions together .
Entreating him , therefore , to remain a few minutes at the bottom of the stairs , I darted up towards my own room .
I raised his rigid limbs , I marked the distortion of his face , and the stony eyes lost to perception .
My beloved friends were alarmed nay , they expressed their alarm so anxiously , that I dared not pronounce the word plague , that hovered on my lips , lest they should construe my perturbed looks into a symptom , and see infection in my languor .
But I was impatient to arrive at the termination of my journey .
As I waited there in expectation of that moment , I thought how , of the lovely flowers that grew there , I would wind myself a chaplet and crown myself for joy : I would sing sul margine d'un rio , my father 's favourite song , and that my voice gliding through the windless air would announce to him in whatever bower he sat expecting the moment of our union , that his daughter was come .
`` I can hardly describe to you the effect of these books .
It was not for the rose of Persia thou wert famous , nor the banana of the east ; not for the spicy gales of India , nor the sugar groves of America ; not for thy vines nor thy double harvests , nor for thy vernal airs , nor solstitial sun but for thy children , their unwearied industry and lofty aspiration .
I leaned against the casement , and watched those two glorious creatures , till they disappeared in the forest glades ; and then I turned .
It was pretty enough to see my sister enter as it were into the spirit of the drama , and endeavour to fill her station with becoming dignity .
He was endeavouring to encourage his sister , and to bring her to look on his intent in a less tragic light than she was prepared to do ; and with passionate eloquence he unfolded his designs to her . `` Let me , at the first word , '' he said , `` relieve your mind from all fear on my account .
I was hurt by the careless tone with which he conveyed this information , and replied coldly : `` I am obliged to you for your intelligence , and will avail myself of it . ''
Look at his thought endued countenance , his graceful limbs , his majestic brow , his wondrous mechanism the type and model of this best work of God is not to be cast aside as a broken vessel he shall be preserved , and his children and his children 's children carry down the name and form of man to latest time .
Distinction and station were not the qualifications of their election .
Such for three days and nights appeared the consummation which fate had decreed for my labours , and I became haggard and spectre like , through anxiety and watching .
My dream was for ever in my thoughts , and with a kind of half insanity that often possesses the mind in despair , I said aloud ; `` Courage We are not near the sea ; we are yet several miles from the ocean '' Yet it was towards the sea that our direction lay and that heightened the confusion of my ideas .
I have myself been blasted in these hopes , yet another may succeed . ''
Presently I saw the young man again , with some tools in his hand , cross the field behind the cottage ; and the girl was also busied , sometimes in the house and sometimes in the yard .
Yet this is not it I do not intend to entrap you with questions one will suffice am I completely a wretch ? ''
In pursuance of this idea , he pushed open the door gently but the room was inhabited .
He mounted a fiery horse , that which had borne him forward to victory in Greece ; he fatigued himself with deadening exercise , losing the pangs of a troubled mind in animal sensation .
`` For it will be the same with thee , who art called our Universal Mother , when I am gone .
The entrance of Macbeth did not destroy the illusion , for he was actuated by the same feelings that inspired us , and while the work of magic proceeded we sympathized in his wonder and his daring , and gave ourselves up with our whole souls to the influence of scenic delusion .
I could not however at that time feel remorse , for methought I was born anew ; my soul threw off the burthen of past sin , to commence a new career in innocence and love .
A wind swept across the plain , I looked around me and saw no object that told me where I was ; I had lost myself , and in vain attempted to find my path .
While life was strong within me I thought indeed that there was a sacred horror in my tale that rendered it unfit for utterance , and now about to die I pollute its mystic terrors .
`` It was evening when I arrived , and I retired to a hiding place among the fields that surround it to meditate in what manner I should apply to you .
Your favourite schoolfellow , Louis Manoir , has suffered several misfortunes since the departure of Clerval from Geneva .
My passions are my masters ; my smallest impulse my tyrant .
She sometimes begged Justine to forgive her unkindness , but much oftener accused her of having caused the deaths of her brothers and sister .
It had often occurred , that , when , as I said , Raymond quitted Perdita 's drawing room , Clara came up to me , and gently drawing me aside , said , `` Papa is gone ; shall we go to him ?
No voice was heard telling us to hold When foreign distresses came to be felt by us through the channels of commerce , we set ourselves to apply remedies .
He must have been astonished at our conclave , disturbed by it I should have thought ; but nothing of this appeared ; he saluted my companions , and addressed me with a cordial greeting .
Some unknown circumstance now induced his mother to send him from under her immediate tutelage ; and we heard that he was about to visit Cumberland .
It was between six and seven o'clock , a fine summer afternoon , and I spent my leisure hours in a ramble through the empty streets of London ; now turning to avoid an approaching funeral , now urged by curiosity to observe the state of a particular spot ; my wanderings were instinct with pain , for silence and desertion characterized every place I visited , and the few beings I met were so pale and woe begone , so marked with care and depressed by fear , that weary of encountering only signs of misery , I began to retread my steps towards home .
My daily vows rose for revenge a deep and deadly revenge , such as would alone compensate for the outrages and anguish I had endured .
How altered every thing might be during that time One sudden and desolating change had taken place ; but a thousand little circumstances might have by degrees worked other alterations , which , although they were done more tranquilly , might not be the less decisive .
Professor Krempe often asked me , with a sly smile , how Cornelius Agrippa went on , whilst M. Waldman expressed the most heartfelt exultation in my progress .
I revolved rapidly in my mind a multitude of thoughts and endeavoured to arrive at some conclusion .
If the worst befell ; if she learnt the truth , he would neither stand her reproaches , or the anguish of her altered looks .
With considerable difficulty we scrambled up , and came to another passage with still more of illumination , and this led to another ascent like the former .
My life , as it passed thus , was indeed hateful to me , and it was during sleep alone that I could taste joy .
Idris was as the star , set in single splendour in the dim anadem of balmy evening ; ready to enlighten and delight the subject world , shielded herself from every taint by her unimagined distance from all that was not like herself akin to heaven .
His astronomical theories absorbed him ; calculations were scrawled with coal on the bare walls of his garret : a hard earned guinea , or an article of dress , was exchanged for a book without remorse ; he neither heard his children cry , nor observed his companion 's emaciated form , and the excess of calamity was merely to him as the occurrence of a cloudy night , when he would have given his right hand to observe a celestial phenomenon .
We entered the gloomy prison chamber and beheld Justine sitting on some straw at the farther end ; her hands were manacled , and her head rested on her knees .
Sometimes I sat with my eyes fixed on the ground , fearing to raise them lest they should encounter the object which I so much dreaded to behold .
Our rate could not have been less than eight knots .
If I ventured to enquire he would either leave me or press his finger on his lips , and with a deprecating look that I could not resist , turn away .
As I returned my fervent hopes were dashed by so many fears ; my impatience became in the highest degree painful .
When I thought of my friends , of the mild voice of De Lacey , the gentle eyes of Agatha , and the exquisite beauty of the Arabian , these thoughts vanished and a gush of tears somewhat soothed me .
`` Do you then intend , now in time of peril , to recede from your duties ? '' `` Duties speak rationally , my Lord when I am a plague spotted corpse , where will my duties be ?
You would not if you saw him .
But he had promised to follow me wherever I might go , and would he not accompany me to England ?
His paroxisms of passion were terrific but his soul bore him through them triumphant , though almost destroyed by victory ; but the day would finally have been won had not I , foolish and presumtuous wretch hurried him on untill there was no recall , no hope .
The windows of the room had before been darkened , and I felt a kind of panic on seeing the pale yellow light of the moon illuminate the chamber .
I grasped his hand , and in a moment forgot my horror and misfortune ; I felt suddenly , and for the first time during many months , calm and serene joy .
The crime had its source in her ; be hers the punishment Thanks to the lessons of Felix and the sanguinary laws of man , I had learned now to work mischief .
While I still hung over her in the agony of despair , I happened to look up .
Suddenly I became as it were the father of all mankind .
Look at him ha I see plague She has invested his form , is incarnate in his flesh , has entwined herself with his being , and blinds his heaven seeking eyes .
The arrival of the Arabian now infused new life into his soul .
Or would my brother rather devote the heart broken Perdita to the straw and chains of a maniac , than suffer her to rest in peace beneath the shadow of His society , in this my own selected and beloved recess ? ''
This was a dire blow to poor Elizabeth , who had relied with firmness upon Justine 's innocence .
Such acts were not wanting to adorn the grim train that waited on the progress of the plague .
I have spent days and nights of festivity ; I have joined in ambitious hopes , and exulted in victory : now , shut the door on the world , and build high the wall that is to separate me from the troubled scene enacted within its precincts .
They were forever ardent and craving ; still I desired love and fellowship , and I was still spurned .
I shall expect your return by to morrow noon . ''
The mower 's scythe was at times heard ; yet the joyless haymakers after they had listlessly turned the grass , forgot to cart it ; the shepherd , when he had sheared his sheep , would let the wool lie to be scattered by the winds , deeming it useless to provide clothing for another winter .
I shall become a wanderer , a miserable outcast alone alone '' In another part of the letter he mentioned me `` As for that unhappy little being whom I could not see , and hardly dare mention , I leave her under your protection .
The river swollen by autumnal rains , deluged the low lands , and Adrian in his favourite boat is employed in the dangerous pastime of plucking the topmost bough from a submerged oak .
One only condition I would make , that you do nothing without his concurrence . ''
I passed three days in these rambles and at length discovered the open country .
Even now I can not recollect without passion my reveries while the work was incomplete .
Shall two years more be thus passed , each day adding to our alienation , each act being another stone piled on the barrier which separates us ?
A gigantic monster , they said , had arrived the night before , armed with a gun and many pistols , putting to flight the inhabitants of a solitary cottage through fear of his terrific appearance .
In a solitary chamber , or rather cell , at the top of the house , and separated from all the other apartments by a gallery and staircase , I kept my workshop of filthy creation ; my eyeballs were starting from their sockets in attending to the details of my employment .
I communed in this manner with myself , but I was silent to all around me .
I knew my silence disquieted them , and I well remembered the words of my father : `` I know that while you are pleased with yourself you will think of us with affection , and we shall hear regularly from you .
As he went , he bought a basket of costly fruits , such as were natives of her own country , and throwing over these various beautiful flowers , bore it himself to the miserable garret of his friend .
I left the room , and locking the door , made a solemn vow in my own heart never to resume my labours ; and then , with trembling steps , I sought my own apartment .
Study had before secluded me from the intercourse of my fellow creatures , and rendered me unsocial ; but Clerval called forth the better feelings of my heart ; he again taught me to love the aspect of nature , and the cheerful faces of children .
I desire the company of a man who could sympathize with me , whose eyes would reply to mine .
I lingered awhile , desirous of taking leave of Perdita , and from my window observed the approach of the sun .
And although I could not consent to go and hear that little conceited fellow deliver sentences out of a pulpit , I recollected what he had said of M. Waldman , whom I had never seen , as he had hitherto been out of town .
These then were the preparations for a battle , nay , the battle itself ; far different from any thing the imagination had pictured .
The busy stage of life , the virtues of heroes , and the actions of men were his theme ; and his hope and his dream was to become one among those whose names are recorded in story as the gallant and adventurous benefactors of our species .
Tell me , Lionel , do you consent that I should marry this young lady ? ''
It was surely that I might fulfil my destiny , which is now drawing to a close .
The debate had ended at three in the morning .
We had many pitched battles , during which no word was spoken , hardly a look was interchanged , but in which each resolved not to submit to the other .
Diana was fully worthy of his deepest affection .
Oh fie Cast off this blank look of human melancholy .
Evening approached and I beheld the sun set .
I thought with a sensation of madness on my promise of creating another like to him , and trembling with passion , tore to pieces the thing on which I was engaged .
Death snatches away many blooming children , the only hopes of their doting parents ; how many brides and youthful lovers have been one day in the bloom of health and hope , and the next a prey for worms and the decay of the tomb Of what materials was I made that I could thus resist so many shocks , which , like the turning of the wheel , continually renewed the torture ?
Great God would it one day be thus ?
There is something fearful in one who can thus conquer the animal part of our nature , if the victory be not the effect of consummate virtue ; nor was it without a mixture of this feeling , that I beheld the figure of the Countess awake when others slept , fasting when I , abstemious naturally , and rendered so by the fever that preyed on me , was forced to recruit myself with food .
Hours passed , while in this scene of ruin I sought for Raymond .
Perdita presented her to Raymond ; her first words were : `` Beloved , embrace our child '' `` Come hither , sweet one , '' said her father , `` do you not know me ? '' she knew his voice , and cast herself in his arms with half bashful but uncontrollable emotion .
I consented to her request , and taking her little hand , followed Raymond .
I knew all this and did not go to seek sympathy ; but there on my solitary heath , under my lowly roof where all around was desart , it came to me as a sun beam in winter to adorn while it helps to dissolve the drifted snow .
Habit would not dull his sense of the enjoyment of power ; nor struggles , disappointment and defeat await the end of that which would expire at its maturity .
I had arrived from a weary wandering of sixteen years , during which , although I had gone through many dangers and misfortunes , my affections had been an entire blank .
He suspected , that unaccustomed poverty was the cause of the mystery , and that the artist was unwilling to be seen in the garb and abode of want .
The farmers and cottagers , on the contrary , struck with the fear of solitude , and madly desirous of medical assistance , flocked into the towns .
I can enchain the plague in limits , and set a term to the misery it would occasion ; courage , forbearance , and watchfulness , are the forces I bring towards this great work .
Still all his wishes and endeavours were directed towards her peace , and his chief discomfort arose from the perception that he exerted himself in vain .
Peace , peace Learn my miseries and do not seek to increase your own . ''
She could not divine , that the breach which she had occasioned between Raymond and Perdita was already irreparable : but she knew , that under the present system it would be widened each day , and that its result must be to destroy her lover 's happiness , and to implant the fangs of remorse in his heart .
Now I am twenty eight and am in reality more illiterate than many schoolboys of fifteen .
I also became a poet and for one year lived in a paradise of my own creation ; I imagined that I also might obtain a niche in the temple where the names of Homer and Shakespeare are consecrated .
Alas I must for ever conceal the wretchedness that consumes me .
There were periods , dreadful ones , during which I despaired doubted the existence of all duty the reality of crime but I shudder , and turn from the rememberance .
Adrian was obliged to exert his utmost prudence , first to allay the discord , and then to provide for the multitude of the invaders .
I returned to Windsor at the wish of Idris , who seemed to think that there was greater safety for her children at that spot ; and because , once having taken on me the guardianship of the district , I would not desert it while an inhabitant survived .
We accordingly rested on a seat until they should return .
If I grieved it was for your mother , if I loved it was your image ; these sole emotions filled my heart in quietness .
Once , however , the lieutenant asked why he had come so far upon the ice in so strange a vehicle .
The form of the monster on whom I had bestowed existence was forever before my eyes , and I raved incessantly concerning him .
First , his having entered into any engagement that should permit her to remain in such a state of degradation ; and then , after a short wild dream , having left her to drear solitude , anxious conjecture , and bitter , still disappointed expectation .
What would be your surprise , my son , when you expected a happy and glad welcome , to behold , on the contrary , tears and wretchedness ?
At length , in an abrupt manner she asked , `` Where is he ? '' `` O , fear not , '' she continued , `` fear not that I should entertain hope Yet tell me , have you found him ?
I had insisted on accompanying him across the heath towards the town where he dwelt : the sun was yet high when he left me , and I turned my steps towards my cottage .
I took refuge in the courtyard belonging to the house which I inhabited , where I remained during the rest of the night , walking up and down in the greatest agitation , listening attentively , catching and fearing each sound as if it were to announce the approach of the demoniacal corpse to which I had so miserably given life .
On the evening previous to her being brought to my home , my mother had said playfully , `` I have a pretty present for my Victor tomorrow he shall have it . ''
I passed the bridge of Pelissier , where the ravine , which the river forms , opened before me , and I began to ascend the mountain that overhangs it .
And morning and evening my tearful eyes raised to heaven , my hands clasped tight in the energy of prayer , I have repeated with the poet Before I see another day Oh , let this body die away Let me not be reproached then with inutility ; I believed that by suicide I should violate a divine law of nature , and I thought that I sufficiently fulfilled my part in submitting to the hard task of enduring the crawling hours minutes in bearing the load of time that weighed miserably upon me and that in abstaining from what I in my calm moments considered a crime , I deserved the reward of virtue .
In answer to this question , I described our gloomy winter life , our sordid cares , our menial labours : `` This northern country , '' I said , `` is no place for our diminished race .
I am an unfortunate and deserted creature , I look around and I have no relation or friend upon earth .
Her features had lost the distortion of grief ; her eyes were brightened , her very person seemed dilated ; while the excessive whiteness and even transparency of her skin , and something hollow in her voice , bore witness that not tranquillity , but excess of excitement , occasioned the treacherous calm that settled on her countenance .
`` Farewell for ever '' The moment I finished this letter I ordered the carriage and prepared to follow my father .
`` The Turk allowed this intimacy to take place and encouraged the hopes of the youthful lovers , while in his heart he had formed far other plans .
We accordingly lay to , hoping that some change would take place in the atmosphere and weather .
The former Protector tendered him the oaths , and presented him with the insignia of office , performing the ceremonies of installation .
I shuddered when I thought of the possible consequences of my consent , but I felt that there was some justice in his argument .
An aperture in the midst let in the light of heaven ; but this was overgrown with brambles and underwood , which acted as a veil , obscuring the day , and giving a solemn religious hue to the apartment .
As this terrible conviction came upon him me ? it melted my soul to tenderness and love I gazed on him as to take my last farewell he lay insensible his eyes closed as and ? his cheeks deathly pale .
A great part of these grounds had been given to cultivation , and strips of potatoe land and corn were scattered here and there .
William , Justine , and Henry they all died by my hands . ''
Among other painful restrictions , she has occasioned it to become a law among us , never to mention Raymond 's name before her .
Thus the poor sufferer tried to comfort others and herself .
No guilt , no mischief , no malignity , no misery , can be found comparable to mine .
As is common in communities , a fashion was set .
If we survive this coming summer , I will not spend the ensuing winter in England ; neither I nor any of us . ''
His reckless courage and comprehensive genius brought him into notice .
I felt that they were near , that they were safe , yet methought this was all deceit ; the earth reeled , the firm enrooted trees moved dizziness came over me I sank to the ground .
Then the mark of misery would have faded from my brow , and I should raise my eyes fearlessly to meet his , which ever beamed with the soft lustre of innocent love .
I wrote , and this exertion greatly fatigued me ; but my convalescence had commenced , and proceeded regularly .
I have hired a vessel and am occupied in collecting my sailors ; those whom I have already engaged appear to be men on whom I can depend and are certainly possessed of dauntless courage .
If I saw him at a distance , riding a beautiful horse , my blood boiled with rage ; the air seemed poisoned by his presence , and my very native English was changed to a vile jargon , since every phrase I heard was coupled with his name and honour .
But why should I repine at this ? Misery was my element , and nothing but what was miserable could approach me ; if Woodville had been happy I should never have known him .
Perdita at length subdued her burst of passion , and rose , she looked round for Clara ; the child frightened , not recognizing her father , and neglected by us , had crept to the other end of the boat ; she came at her mother 's call .
Should I return to the Castle , to my wife and children , with this taint upon me ?
I was so entirely wrapt in this reverie that I wandered on , taking no heed of my steps until I actually stooped down to gather a flower for my wreath on that bleak plain where no flower grew , when I awoke from my day dream and found myself I knew not where .
This part of the Rhine , indeed , presents a singularly variegated landscape .
I must own I felt a little proud when my captain offered me the second dignity in the vessel and entreated me to remain with the greatest earnestness , so valuable did he consider my services .
Until this moment my soul had been in my eyes only .
At first , relieved from famine and the grave , watched over by Raymond with the tenderest assiduity , with that feeling of repose peculiar to convalescence , Evadne gave herself up to rapturous gratitude and love .
`` You swear , '' I said , `` to be harmless ; but have you not already shown a degree of malice that should reasonably make me distrust you ?
There was an eager delight in our tones and gestures that could only spring from deep mutual love joined to the most unrestrained confidence ; and now the next day , the next hour , I saw his brows contracted , his eyes fixed in sullen fierceness on the ground , and his voice so gentle and so dear made me shiver when he addressed me .
At a distance from facts one draws conclusions which appear infallible , which yet when put to the test of reality , vanish like unreal dreams .
Hope , and your wounds will be already half healed : but if you obstinately despair , there never more will be comfort for you .
Our circle will be small but bound close by the ties of affection and mutual misfortune .
I sought the little bed of my darling ; he was oppressed by fever ; but I trusted , I fondly and fearfully trusted , that there were no symptoms of the plague .
I will be brief for there is in all this a horror that will not bear many words , and I sink almost a second time to death while I recall these sad scenes to my memory .
Since I last saw you I have been constantly employed in writing letters , and have several more to write ; for I do not intend that any one shall hear of me after I depart .
Our own distresses , though they were occasioned by the fictitious reciprocity of commerce , encreased in due proportion .
A strange idea seized me ; a person must have felt all the agonies of doubt concerning the life and death of one who is the whole world to them before they can enter into my feelings for in that state , the mind working unrestrained by the will makes strange and fanciful combinations with outward circumstances and weaves the chances and changes of nature into an immediate connexion with the event they dread .
Idris smiled her thanks , and rose to take leave .
`` Verney , '' said he , `` my first act when I become King of England , will be to unite with the Greeks , take Constantinople , and subdue all Asia .
Such a man has a double existence : he may suffer misery and be overwhelmed by disappointments , yet when he has retired into himself , he will be like a celestial spirit that has a halo around him , within whose circle no grief or folly ventures .
I am convinced that , at the worst , he would have returned from the seashore to take leave of us , and to make us the partners of his council .
The utter inutility that had attended all my exertions took from them their usual effects of exhilaration , and despair rendered abortive the balm of self applause I longed to return to my old occupations , but of what use were they ?
I met a company of soldiers outside the walls ; I borrowed a horse from one of them , and hastened to my sister .
He seemed born anew , and virtue , more potent than Medean alchemy , endued him with health and strength .
I will not lead you on , unguarded and ardent as I then was , to your destruction and infallible misery .
IN the mean time what did Perdita ?
Years passed thus , even years .
Soon , oh , very soon , will death extinguish these throbbings and relieve me from the mighty weight of anguish that bears me to the dust ; and , in executing the award of justice , I shall also sink to rest .
We were born to be friends to each other ; and though ill fortune has divided us , will you not acknowledge the hereditary bond of friendship which I trust will hereafter unite us ? ''
To leave England for ever to turn from its polluted fields and groves , and , placing the sea between us , to quit it , as a sailor quits the rock on which he has been wrecked , when the saving ship rides by .
I do not die not having enjoyed life ; for sixteen years I was happy : during the first months of my father 's return I had enjoyed ages of pleasure : now indeed I am grown old in grief ; my steps are feeble like those of age ; I have become peevish and unfit for life ; so having passed little more than twenty years upon the earth I am more fit for my narrow grave than many are when they reach the natural term of their lives .
The soul of tender sorrow is breathed forth in this strain ; and the sweet voice of Idris , sustained by the mournful chords of her instrument , added to the expression of the words .
On that night he had determined to consummate his crimes by my death .
Raymond , stopping mid way in his wild career , paused suddenly to think of consequences .
Families , bred in opulence and luxury , were reduced to beggary .
She grew weaker each day , and each day she had further to go .
He came to a part of the country where he was entirely unknown and where in the deepest solitude he could converse only with his own heart .
If , therefore , I could seize him and educate him as my companion and friend , I should not be so desolate in this peopled earth .
We are told by the wisest philosophers of the dangers of the world , the deceits of men , and the treason of our own hearts : but not the less fearlessly does each put off his frail bark from the port , spread the sail , and strain his oar , to attain the multitudinous streams of the sea of life .
My thoughts and every feeling of my soul have been drunk up by the interest for my guest which this tale and his own elevated and gentle manners have created .
He had schemed , if he failed in his present attempt , without taking leave of any of us , to embark for Greece , and never again to revisit England .
But the powers of love , poetry , and creative fancy will dwell even beside the sick of the plague , with the squalid , and with the dying .
Many of these , of high rank in their own countries , now , with hoe in hand , turned up the soil .
Justine , poor unhappy Justine , was as innocent as I , and she suffered the same charge ; she died for it ; and I am the cause of this I murdered her .
Taking with her some jewels that belonged to her and a sum of money , she quitted Italy with an attendant , a native of Leghorn , but who understood the common language of Turkey , and departed for Germany .
He bitterly deplored the false pride which led his friend to a conduct so little worthy of the affection that united them .
Oh , beloved father Accept the pure heart of your unhappy daughter ; permit me to join you unspotted as I was or you will not recognize my altered semblance .
Besides , she had memories of past tenderness to cherish , smiles , words , and even tears , to con over , which , though remembered in desertion and sorrow , were to be preferred to the forgetfulness of the grave .
Yet it is terrible to reflect that the lives of all these men are endangered through me .
Among some these changes produced a devotion and sacrifice of self at once graceful and heroic .
`` My heart beat quick ; this was the hour and moment of trial , which would decide my hopes or realize my fears .
The work was soon finished ; in a few minutes a tumultuous sea rolled between me and my enemy , and I was left drifting on a scattered piece of ice that was continually lessening and thus preparing for me a hideous death .
Many men may scoff at his dread ; but he read the future ; and the peace of Perdita was too dear to him , her speechless agony too certain , and too fearful , not to unman him .
But man is a strange animal .
As I sat , a train of reflection occurred to me which led me to consider the effects of what I was now doing .
And now it is ended ; there is my last victim '' I was at first touched by the expressions of his misery ; yet , when I called to mind what Frankenstein had said of his powers of eloquence and persuasion , and when I again cast my eyes on the lifeless form of my friend , indignation was rekindled within me .
Yet why were these gentle beings unhappy ?
I contracted my view to England .
Why did he write them ?
Where can any of us go ? ''
I panted for enterprises beyond my childish exploits , and formed distempered dreams of future action .
The intense life that quickened my pulses , and animated my frame , had the effect , not of drawing me into the mazes of active life , but of exalting my lowliness , and of bestowing majestic proportions on insignificant objects I could have lived the life of a peasant in the same way my trifling occupations were swelled into important pursuits ; my affections were impetuous and engrossing passions , and nature with all her changes was invested in divine attributes .
With sails abaft , the engine stopt , the vessel remained unwillingly stationary , until , after an hour 's search , my poor Perdita was brought on board .
He manifested the greatest eagerness to be upon deck to watch for the sledge which had before appeared ; but I have persuaded him to remain in the cabin , for he is far too weak to sustain the rawness of the atmosphere .
Enter the house of mourning , my friend , but with kindness and affection for those who love you , and not with hatred for your enemies .
`` There he lies , white and cold in death .
Yet could England indeed doff her lordly trappings , and be content with the democratic style of America ?
To the generality of spectators he appeared careless of censure , and with high disdain to throw aside all dependance on public prejudices ; but at the same time that he strode with a triumphant stride over the rest of the world , he cowered , with self disguised lowliness , to his own party , and although its chief never dared express an opinion or a feeling until he was assured that it would meet with the approbation of his companions .
`` And we shall of course enjoy the benefit of the change , '' said Ryland , contemptuously .
Light grew dim in these close streets , and when the well known door was opened , the staircase was shrouded in perfect night .
Did the sun shine on any , who could enjoy its light with purer and more intense bliss ?
The question was no longer whether I should share Adrian 's toils and danger ; but in what manner I could , in Windsor and the neighbourhood , imitate the prudence and zeal which , under his government , produced order and plenty in London , and how , now pestilence had spread more widely , I could secure the health of my own family .
Sometimes I could not prevail on myself to enter my laboratory for several days , and at other times I toiled day and night in order to complete my work .
`` I agree with you , '' replied the stranger ; `` we are unfashioned creatures , but half made up , if one wiser , better , dearer than ourselves such a friend ought to be do not lend his aid to perfectionate our weak and faulty natures .
`` Devil , '' I exclaimed , `` do you dare approach me ?
Did we pass a valley ?
Believe me , I was then less fitted for any communion with my fellow creatures than before .
And thus for a time I was occupied by exploded systems , mingling , like an unadept , a thousand contradictory theories and floundering desperately in a very slough of multifarious knowledge , guided by an ardent imagination and childish reasoning , till an accident again changed the current of my ideas .
She replied , `` At Athens ; even at the Athens which he loved .
To a crown , a golden be gemmed crown , I hope ; and yet I dare not trust and though I dream of a crown and wake for one , ever and anon a busy devil whispers to me , that it is but a fool 's cap that I seek , and that were I wise , I should trample on it , and take in its stead , that which is worth all the crowns of the east and presidentships of the west . ''
In the evening , Adrian and I proceeded to Westminster .
All was serene , burning , annihilating .
All delightful things , sublime scenery , soft breezes , exquisite music seemed to me associated with you and only through you to be pleasant to me .
I had worked hard for nearly two years , for the sole purpose of infusing life into an inanimate body .
The darkness was much dissipated and in the east where the clouds were least dense the moon was visible behind the thin grey cloud The moon is behind , and at the full And yet she looks both small and dull .
I shall shed no more tears for my task is almost fulfilled , and I am about to be rewarded for long and most burthensome suffering .
In spite of her tender nursing , the health of Adrian perceptibly declined .
He looked upon me , however , with some degree of severity , and then , turning towards my conductors , he asked who appeared as witnesses on this occasion .
I left the house , the horrid scene of the last night 's contention , and walked on the beach of the sea , which I almost regarded as an insuperable barrier between me and my fellow creatures ; nay , a wish that such should prove the fact stole across me .
I had tutored myself , and was resolved by no outward sign to disclose my internal agitation .
My return had only been delayed so long , from an unwillingness to leave Clerval in a strange place , before he had become acquainted with any of its inhabitants .
I felt this delay very bitterly ; for I longed to see my native town and my beloved friends .
On seeing me , he darted towards me , and tearing the girl from my arms , hastened towards the deeper parts of the wood .
Idris appeared to be the only being who could resist her mother , notwithstanding the extreme mildness of her character .
`` 'Do you consider , ' said his companion to him , 'that you will be obliged to pay three months ' rent and to lose the produce of your garden ?
She was not sanguine , but secure ; and the expectation of seeing the lover she had banished , the husband , friend , heart 's companion from whom she had long been alienated , wrapt her senses in delight , her mind in placidity .
And could not such words from her whom I fondly prized before every other gift of fortune suffice to chase away the fiend that lurked in my heart ?
Since our encampment here , she daily , hourly visits my thoughts .
Evelyn , a laughing cherub , a gamesome infant , without idea of pain or sorrow , would , shaking back his light curls from his eyes , make the halls re echo with his merriment , and in a thousand artless ways attract our attention to his play .
There was much of degradation in this : for even vice and virtue had lost their attributes life life the continuation of our animal mechanism was the Alpha and Omega of the desires , the prayers , the prostrate ambition of human race .
I wished , as it were , to procrastinate all that related to my feelings of affection until the great object , which swallowed up every habit of my nature , should be completed .
In spite of resentment , by day and night she figured to herself the toils and dangers of the wanderers .
I vowed , with energy and truth , to devote myself in life and death to the restoration and welfare of Adrian .
As she walked along , seemingly incommoded by the burden , a young man met her , whose countenance expressed a deeper despondence .
I did not know the names of the towns that I was to pass through , nor could I ask information from a single human being ; but I did not despair .
The first ranks had muskets ; some were mounted , but their arms were such as they had seized during their advance , their horses those they had taken from the peasantry ; there was no uniformity , and little obedience , but their shouts and wild gestures showed the untamed spirit that inspired them .
And then I bent over her and whispered , 'Awake , fairest , thy lover is near he who would give his life but to obtain one look of affection from thine eyes ; my beloved , awake ' `` The sleeper stirred ; a thrill of terror ran through me .
Our evening march , more calm , was yet more delightful than the morning restlessness of spirit .
Continue for the present to write to me by every opportunity : I may receive your letters on some occasions when I need them most to support my spirits .
No wood , however , was placed on the earth , which formed the floor , but it was dry ; and although the wind entered it by innumerable chinks , I found it an agreeable asylum from the snow and rain .
The faces of many of the inhabitants were familiar to me ; in the towns , plains , hills , and defiles of these countries , I had enjoyed unspeakable delight , as I journied through them the year before .
After a slight repose , during which the spirits of the dead hovered round and instigated me to toil and revenge , I prepared for my journey .
The golden splendour arose , and weary nature awoke to suffer yet another day of heat and thirsty decay .
He says all hope is dead to him , and I know that it is dead to me , so we are both equally fitted for death .
Yet , before I departed , there was a task to perform , on which I shuddered to reflect ; I must pack up my chemical instruments , and for that purpose I must enter the room which had been the scene of my odious work , and I must handle those utensils the sight of which was sickening to me .
At the same time , Lord Raymond , by some unlooked for chance , became the possessor of an immense fortune in England , whither he returned , crowned with glory , to receive the meed of honour and distinction before denied to his pretensions .
`` Yet I can not ask you to renounce your country and friends to fulfil this task ; and now that you are returning to England , you will have little chance of meeting with him .
Or after life No , no , I will not persuade myself to die , I may not , dare not .
At other times he worked in the garden , but as there was little to do in the frosty season , he read to the old man and Agatha .
But do not mourn , dear girl .
`` I have lived my last winter , and the date of this year , , will be carved upon my tomb .
Frost would blunt the arrows of pestilence , and enchain the furious elements ; and the land would in spring throw off her garment of snow , released from her menace of destruction .
Day dawned ; and I directed my steps towards the town .
This was the commencement of a nervous fever which confined me for several months .
`` That evidence , '' he observed , `` was hardly required in so glaring a case , but I am glad of it , and , indeed , none of our judges like to condemn a criminal upon circumstantial evidence , be it ever so decisive . ''
He won me over to his party , heart and soul .
Happiness , love and peace , walked the forest paths , and tempered the atmosphere .
`` Thus I relieve thee , my creator , '' he said , and placed his hated hands before my eyes , which I flung from me with violence ; `` thus I take from thee a sight which you abhor .
I entered the room where the corpse lay and was led up to the coffin .
I performed the first part of my journey on horseback .
To chambers of painted state farewell To midnight revelry , and the panting emulation of beauty , to costly dress and birth day shew , to title and the gilded coronet , farewell Farewell to the giant powers of man , to knowledge that could pilot the deep drawing bark through the opposing waters of shoreless ocean , to science that directed the silken balloon through the pathless air , to the power that could put a barrier to mighty waters , and set in motion wheels , and beams , and vast machinery , that could divide rocks of granite or marble , and make the mountains plain Farewell to the arts , to eloquence , which is to the human mind as the winds to the sea , stirring , and then allaying it ; farewell to poetry and deep philosophy , for man 's imagination is cold , and his enquiring mind can no longer expatiate on the wonders of life , for `` there is no work , nor device , nor knowledge , nor wisdom in the grave , whither thou goest '' to the graceful building , which in its perfect proportion transcended the rude forms of nature , the fretted gothic and massy saracenic pile , to the stupendous arch and glorious dome , the fluted column with its capital , Corinthian , Ionic , or Doric , the peristyle and fair entablature , whose harmony of form is to the eye as musical concord to the ear farewell to sculpture , where the pure marble mocks human flesh , and in the plastic expression of the culled excellencies of the human shape , shines forth the god farewell to painting , the high wrought sentiment and deep knowledge of the artists 's mind in pictured canvas to paradisaical scenes , where trees are ever vernal , and the ambrosial air rests in perpetual glow : to the stamped form of tempest , and wildest uproar of universal nature encaged in the narrow frame , O farewell Farewell to music , and the sound of song ; to the marriage of instruments , where the concord of soft and harsh unites in sweet harmony , and gives wings to the panting listeners , whereby to climb heaven , and learn the hidden pleasures of the eternals Farewell to the well trod stage ; a truer tragedy is enacted on the world 's ample scene , that puts to shame mimic grief : to high bred comedy , and the low buffoon , farewell Man may laugh no more .
You are dear to us , because you wear the frail shape of humanity ; each one among you will find a friend and host among these forces .
Sleeping thus under the beneficent eye of heaven , can evil visit thee , O Earth , or grief cradle to their graves thy luckless children ?
He was , as it were , now awakened from his long , visionary sleep , and he felt some what like one of the seven sleepers , or like Nourjahad , in that sweet imitation of an eastern tale : Diana was gone ; his friends were changed or dead , and now on his awakening I was all that he had to love on earth .
The scene was perfectly solitary ; a few boats were returning towards land , but I sailed away from them .
But on the day that was to fulfil my wishes and my destiny , she was melancholy , and a presentiment of evil pervaded her ; and perhaps also she thought of the dreadful secret which I had promised to reveal to her on the following day .
With an anxiety that almost amounted to agony , I collected the instruments of life around me , that I might infuse a spark of being into the lifeless thing that lay at my feet .
Turning towards the men , he said , `` What do you mean ?
With eagerness one turns toward the east , with angry impatience one marks the unchequered darkness ; the crowing of a cock , that sound of glee during day time , comes wailing and untuneable the creaking of rafters , and slight stir of invisible insect is heard and felt as the signal and type of desolation .
Sometimes it would be in a desart ; in a populous city ; at a ball ; we should perhaps meet in a vessel ; and his first words constantly were , `` My daughter , I love thee '' What extactic moments have I passed in these dreams How many tears I have shed ; how often have I laughed aloud .
What are we , the inhabitants of this globe , least among the many that people infinite space ?
But the weather was serene , and as I walked on I fell into no unpleasing reveries .
What then became of me ?
`` Nor are outward objects alone the receptacles of the Spirit of Good .
Five months after their arrival in England , he committed suicide .
This spot , dedicated to sweetest recollections , the deserted house and neglected garden were well adapted to nurse my melancholy .
Promise , '' and he raised himself painfully , and seized my arm , `` promise to bury me with them . ''
If his appearance even inspired us with hope , it only rendered the state of her mind more painful .
I signified my readiness to proceed , but our guides protested against such a measure .
Already do I see , '' he continued , looking up mournfully , `` the bourne and precipitate edge of my existence , over which I plunge into the gloomy mystery of the life to come .
Stranger still , some were in modern dialects , English and Italian .
Prepare to hear of occurrences which are usually deemed marvellous .
It was a subject of regret to me whenever we were joined by a third person , yet if I turned with a disturbed look towards my father , his eyes fixed on me and beaming with tenderness instantly restored joy to my heart .
`` Why do you answer me so roughly ? ''
Soon after my arrival in the hovel I discovered some papers in the pocket of the dress which I had taken from your laboratory .
I remembered also the nervous fever with which I had been seized just at the time that I dated my creation , and which would give an air of delirium to a tale otherwise so utterly improbable .
They were her life ; dearer than a spot consecrated to love , dearer than all else the earth contained .
It was here that Charles I. had collected his forces .
My answer to these questions must needs appear to you unsatisfactory , yet they have sufficed to lead me on , day after day , enduring every wretchedness , rather than by such means to seek relief .
The tide of love towards her appeared to flow again ; he could never forget , how once he had been devoted to her , making her the shrine and storehouse wherein to place every thought and every sentiment .
At length all was veiled in the deep obscurity of blackest night ; I became weary and knowing that my servant was to sleep that night at the neighbouring village , so that my absence would alarm no one ; and that I was safe in this wild spot from every intruder , I resolved to spend the night where I was .
He was conspicuous for his conduct and choice of position in a battle fought in the plains of Thrace , on the banks of the Hebrus , which was to decide the fate of Islam .
He slowly recovered himself ; yet , at last , as one might from the effects of poison , he lifted his head from above the vapours of fever and passion into the still atmosphere of calm reflection .
`` As he approached his desire of seeing me , '' he said , `` became more and more ardent , and he felt that the moment when he should first clasp me in his arms would be the happiest of his life . ''
Separated from them ; exalted in my heart ; sole possessor of my affections ; single object of my hopes , the best half of myself .
All was silent in and around the cottage ; it was an excellent opportunity ; yet , when I proceeded to execute my plan , my limbs failed me and I sank to the ground .
My sister was by nature destitute of the common feelings of anxious , petulant jealousy .
She studiously shut out all prospect of the future , and cradled her heart in present blessings .
Neither yours nor any man 's death is needed to consummate the series of my being and accomplish that which must be done , but it requires my own .
He had also changed my apartment ; for he perceived that I had acquired a dislike for the room which had previously been my laboratory .
Besides , though the violence of her anguish made life hateful , it had not yet produced that monotonous , lethargic sense of changeless misery which for the most part produces suicide .
I hardly replied to the slightest question , and was uneasy when I saw a human creature near me .
Still they would not capitulate .
His emissary obeyed , and brought the desired intelligence .
It is a scene terrifically desolate .
His sentence was pronounced , and I could only grieve and be patient .
I hardly know , but in a few moments I sank lifeless to the ground ; and so would that then all had been at an end CHAPTER VIII I was carried to the next town : fever succeeded to convulsions and faintings , for some weeks my unhappy spirit hovered on the very verge of death .
The girl was called 'sister ' or 'Agatha , ' and the youth 'Felix , ' 'brother , ' or 'son . '
Master yourself , Raymond , and the world is subject to you . '' `` All this would be very good sense , if addressed to another , '' replied Raymond , moodily , `` con the lesson yourself , and you , the first peer of the land , may become its sovereign .
I have a mother whose support and hope I am .
The plague had come to Athens .
When our exiles had first arrived , a truce was in existence between the Turks and Greeks ; a truce that was as sleep to the mortal frame , signal of renewed activity on waking .
He seemed the favourite child of fortune , and his untimely loss eclipsed the world , and shewed forth the remnant of mankind with diminished lustre .
I had returned from London possessed by the idea , with the intimate feeling that it was my first duty to secure , as well as I was able , the well being of my family , and then to return and take my post beside Adrian .
I , not in deed , but in effect , was the true murderer .
Clerval continued talking for some time about our mutual friends and his own good fortune in being permitted to come to Ingolstadt .
My imagination was vivid , yet my powers of analysis and application were intense ; by the union of these qualities I conceived the idea and executed the creation of a man .
By degrees , our eyes grew somewhat accustomed to this dimness , and we perceived that there was no direct passage leading us further ; but that it was possible to climb one side of the cavern to a low arch at top , which promised a more easy path , from whence we now discovered that this light proceeded .
If he had permitted us to witness his agitation , he would have been more under the guidance of reason ; but his struggles for the shew of composure , acted with such violence on his nerves , as to destroy his power of self command .
Besides that , with the nearly extinct race of man , all our toils grew near a conclusion , she was too weak ; consumption , if so it might be called , or rather the over active life within her , which , as with Adrian , spent the vital oil in the early morning hours , deprived her limbs of strength .
Idris arose also , and bent on me her eyes of celestial blue , and with grace peculiar said `` You hardly need an introduction ; we have a picture , highly valued by my father , which declares at once your name .
My father pointed out these circumstances with a serious and unaltered mien , only now and then fixing his deep and liquid eyes upon me ; there was something strange and awful in his look that overcame me , and in spite of myself I wept , nor did he attempt to console me , but I saw his lips quiver and the muscles of his countenance seemed convulsed .
How pleased you would be to remark the improvement of our Ernest He is now sixteen and full of activity and spirit .
`` Several changes , in the meantime , took place in the cottage .
I shall ascend my funeral pile triumphantly and exult in the agony of the torturing flames .
In after sorrow or joy , believe that you father 's spirit is near , to save or sympathize with you .
His desire of restoring his lovely friend to her rank in society , and to her lost prosperity , animated him , and he poured forth with energy , all his wishes and intentions on that subject .
I quitted him to take a few hours rest .
As for those who in your world knew not the loveliness of benevolence justice they are placed apart some claimed by the evil spirit in vain sought for by the good but She whose delight is to reform the wicked takes all she can delivers them to her ministers not to be punished but to be exercised instructed untill acquiring a love of virtue they are fitted for these gardens where they will acquire a love of knowledge As Fantasia talked I saw various groupes of figures as they walked among the allies of the gardens or were seated on the grassy plots either in contemplation or conversation several advanced together towards the fountain where I sat As they approached I observed the principal figure to be that of a woman about years of age her eyes burned with a deep fire and every line of her face expressed enthusiasm wisdom try seemed seated on her lips which were beautifully formed every motion of her limbs although not youthful was inexpressibly graceful her black hair was bound in tresses round her head and her brows were encompassed by a fillet her dress was that of a simple tunic bound at the waist by a broad girdle and a mantle which fell over her left arm she was encompassed by several youths of both sexes who appeared to hang on her words to catch the inspiration as it flowed from her with looks either of eager wonder or stedfast attention with eyes all bent towards her eloquent countenance which beamed with the mind within I am going said Fantasia but I leave my spirit with you without which this scene wd fade away I leave you in good company that female whose eyes like the loveliest planet in the heavens draw all to gaze on her is the Prophetess Diotima the instructress of Socrates The company about her are those just escaped from the world there they were unthinking or misconducted in the pursuit of knowledge .
I adjure you , my father , has not an unnatural passion seized upon your heart ?
Like to our first parents , the whole earth is before him , a wide desart .
As I came , dressed in white , covered only by my tartan rachan , my hair streaming on my shoulders , and shooting across with greater speed that it could be supposed I could give to my boat , my father has often told me that I looked more like a spirit than a human maid .
When shown the body , she fell into violent hysterics and kept her bed for several days .
I must pause here , for it requires all my fortitude to recall the memory of the frightful events which I am about to relate , in proper detail , to my recollection .
Oh , how I longed then for the dear soothings of maternal Nature , as my wounded heart was still further stung by the roar of heartless merriment from the public house , by the sight of the drunkard reeling home , having lost the memory of what he would find there in oblivious debauch , and by the more appalling salutations of those melancholy beings to whom the name of home was a mockery .
He was ready to go back to old times , and commemorate the contests of our fathers , and the monarch 's abdication .
I feared also that it might be some one who had seen me before : I might be recognized , my impostures discovered and I dragged back to a life of worse torture than that I had before endured .
Mr. Kirwin came in and insisted that my strength should not be exhausted by too much exertion .
Think you , amidst the shrieks of violated innocence and helpless infancy , I did not feel in every nerve the cry of a fellow being ?
Other feelings , less ambiguous , were called into play by his conciliating manner and the generous warmth of his expressions , respect rarely before experienced , admiration , and love he had touched my rocky heart with his magic power , and the stream of affection gushed forth , imperishable and pure .
His kingdom was the heart of Perdita , his subjects her thoughts ; by her he was loved , respected as a superior being , obeyed , waited on .
Still the same lofty domes and minarets towered above the verdurous walls , where Constantine had died , and the Turk had entered the city .
Take the colours and odour from the rose , change the sweet nutriment of mother 's milk to gall and poison ; as easily might you wean Perdita from love .
Idris sat at the top of the half empty hall .
So we retired awhile to Eleusis , and here rest and tender care added each day to the strength of our invalid .
He sat at a table with several secretaries , who were arranging petitions , or registering the notes made during that day 's audience .
Lie down , O man , on the flower strown earth ; give up all claim to your inheritance , all you can ever possess of it is the small cell which the dead require .
Our silence endured for some miles , till the country with open fields , or shady woods and parks , presented pleasant objects to our view .
The night before , she had reached Datchet ; and , prowling about , had found a baker 's shop open and deserted .
Yet when he returned thence , and first appeared in public life in England , her love did not purchase his , which then vacillated between Perdita and a crown .
And now I began to live .
This was asked only half ironically ; and Idris wondered why her mother should extort from her a solemn vow not to do , what she had never dreamed of doing but the promise was required and given .
She attended her sickbed ; her watchful attentions triumphed over the malignity of the distemper Elizabeth was saved , but the consequences of this imprudence were fatal to her preserver .
If our impulses were confined to hunger , thirst , and desire , we might be nearly free ; but now we are moved by every wind that blows and a chance word or scene that that word may convey to us .
Let us not for a moment forget our object and our hope ; and they will form a resistless mound to stop the overflowing of our regret for trifles . ''
This proved however to be a second passage , which evidently ascended .
The contest was keen and doubtful .
And will a contented conscience compensate for fallen hopes a slandered name torn affections all the miseries of civilized life ?
Now I must fulfil my vow ; now range myself at his side , and be his ally and support till death .
I bestowed on him all my affections ; there was a miniature of him that I gazed on continually ; I copied his last letter and read it again and again .
A moment more and Perdita appeared ; she stood before me in the fresh bloom of youthful womanhood , different from and yet the same as the mountain girl I had left .
After the ceremony was performed a large party assembled at my father 's , but it was agreed that Elizabeth and I should commence our journey by water , sleeping that night at Evian and continuing our voyage on the following day .
I was on deck , enjoying our swift progress .
I avoided you , you know I did , but you forced yourself upon me and gave me those wants which you see with triumph give you power over me .
I found that these people possessed a method of communicating their experience and feelings to one another by articulate sounds .
They found me Curius like , feasting on sorry fruits for supper ; but they brought gifts richer than the golden bribes of the Sabines , nor could I refuse the invaluable store of friendship and delight which they bestowed .
Look also at the innumerable fish that are swimming in the clear waters , where we can distinguish every pebble that lies at the bottom .
She sang , and her voice flowed in a rich cadence , swelling or dying away like a nightingale of the woods .
`` Such were the events that preyed on the heart of Felix and rendered him , when I first saw him , the most miserable of his family .
`` It was on one of these days , when my cottagers periodically rested from labour the old man played on his guitar , and the children listened to him that I observed the countenance of Felix was melancholy beyond expression ; he sighed frequently , and once his father paused in his music , and I conjectured by his manner that he inquired the cause of his son 's sorrow .
When any separation took place between us , it generally so happened , that Idris and Perdita would ramble away together , and we remained to discuss the affairs of nations , and the philosophy of life .
Many changes also now occurred in these spontaneous regal elections : depositions and abdications were frequent , while , in the place of the old and prudent , the ardent youth would step forward , eager for action , regardless of danger .
While we were in London there was a harshness and sulleness in his sorrow which had now entirely disappeared .
I began also to observe , with greater accuracy , the forms that surrounded me and to perceive the boundaries of the radiant roof of light which canopied me .
Chemistry is that branch of natural philosophy in which the greatest improvements have been and may be made ; it is on that account that I have made it my peculiar study ; but at the same time , I have not neglected the other branches of science .
We watched the rapid progress of the traveller with our telescopes until he was lost among the distant inequalities of the ice .
Each individual , before a part of a great whole moving only in unison with others , now became resolved into the unit nature had made him , and thought of himself only .
I observed the door of a small out house a jar .
Look on me as dead ; and truly if death be a mere change of state , I am dead .
But , no , my tale must not pause ; it must be as rapid as was my fate , I can only describe in short although strong expressions my precipitate and irremediable change from happiness to despair .
The appearance of Justine was calm .
Raymond sprung lightly on his horse , grasped the standard , and with words which I could not hear but his gestures , being their fit accompaniment , were marked by passionate energy , he seemed to adjure their assistance and companionship ; even as he spoke , the crowd receded from him .
Winter , spring , and summer passed away during my labours ; but I did not watch the blossom or the expanding leaves sights which before always yielded me supreme delight so deeply was I engrossed in my occupation .
Raymond yielded for the present .
I profited of this time to rest for a few hours .
Adrian remained in the coffee room , while I , in compliance with his desire , took my seat in St. Stephen 's .
One subject What could it be ?
She was frightened by his gaiety , for she dreaded a greater revulsion at the end .
Before , I had only imagined the wretchedness of my desolated home ; the reality came on me as a new , and a not less terrible , disaster .
`` Yet , as I have said , I should be best pleased , at least for the present , to live under the same roof with you .
I pressed on , but in vain .
The studied immovability of her countenance ; her slow , equable manner , and soft but unmelodious voice , were a mask , hiding her fiery passions , and the impatience of her disposition .
A strange star , my Lionel , ruled our birth ; sadly and with dismay we may look upon the annihilation of man ; but we remain for each other .
The sun sank lower in the heavens ; we passed the river Drance and observed its path through the chasms of the higher and the glens of the lower hills .
With summer and mortality grew our fears .
The labours of men of genius , however erroneously directed , scarcely ever fail in ultimately turning to the solid advantage of mankind . ''
With great volubility , in their native Neapolitan dialect , with which we were not very familiar , they told us that there were spectres , that the roof would fall in , that it was too narrow to admit us , that there was a deep hole within , filled with water , and we might be drowned .
You do not treat me with candour ; it is not true what you say ; this will not soon pass away , it will last forever if you deign not to speak to me ; to admit my consolations .
The joyful welcome of my boys , the soft gratulation of Clara , the pressure of Adrian 's hand , contributed to unman me .
The quiet was disturbed only by the rush of waters as they divided before the steady keel , the murmur of the moveless and full sails , the wind whistling in the shrouds , and the regular motion of the engine .
I would betake me with them to some wild beast 's den , where a tyger 's cubs , which I would slay , had been reared in health .
His voice expressed the deepest compassion : `` Thou most unaccountable being , '' I cried , `` whither will thy actions tend , in all this maze of purpose in which thou seemest lost ? '' `` Whither indeed ?
How can I see so noble a creature destroyed by misery without feeling the most poignant grief ?
Some turn in the road , some new object suddenly perceived and recognized , reminded me of days gone by , and were associated with the lighthearted gaiety of boyhood .
The tramp of horses , distinctly heard in the silence , was at length discerned .
Wit , hilarity , and deep observation were mingled in his talk , rendering every sentence that he uttered as a flash of light .
I can not lead on to battle ; I can not , through intrigue and faithlessness rear again the throne upon the wreck of English public spirit .
Her country , its ancient annals , its late memorable struggles , were all made to partake in her glory and excellence .
Snow fell , and the waters were hardened , but I rested not .
Two months after my aunt 's death we removed to London where I was led by my father to attend to deeper studies than had before occupied me .
Discipline was lost ; the army disbanded itself .
As we talked thus , I perceived that we were not going the ordinary road to Windsor , but through Englefield Green , towards Bishopgate Heath .
To you alone do I dare speak ; I have heard you commended by impartial spectators ; you are my brother 's friends , therefore you must be mine .
As a last effort , my sister mustered her strength , her firmness ; she stepped from one boat to the other , and then with a shriek she sprang towards Raymond , knelt at his side , and glueing her lips to the hand she seized , her face shrouded by her long hair , gave herself up to tears .
I had already been three months in prison , and although I was still weak and in continual danger of a relapse , I was obliged to travel nearly a hundred miles to the country town where the court was held .
The air was cold , and the rain again began to descend ; we entered the hut , the fiend with an air of exultation , I with a heavy heart and depressed spirits .
My work is nearly complete .
I threw down the oar , and leaning my head upon my hands , gave way to every gloomy idea that arose .
I could read the influence of my friend in their quickened motions and cheerful faces .
I revolved many projects , but that on which I finally fixed was to enter the dwelling when the blind old man should be alone .
They shall behold the antipodes of what is real for I will appear to live while I am dead . ''
I was awake , and during the long hours of dead night , my busy thoughts worked in my brain , like ten thousand mill wheels , rapid , acute , untameable .
All of soul inspiriting fled with sleep , and dark melancholy clouded every thought .
Adrian and Idris saw this ; they attributed it to my long watching and anxiety ; they urged me to rest , and take care of myself , while I most truly assured them , that my best medicine was their good wishes ; those , and the assured convalescence of my friend , now daily more apparent .
To night the question is to be decided , as there is a call of the house for the purpose .
It was not it is not a common infidelity at which I repine .
I passed through the gap of the broken paling I felt , while I disdained , the choaking tears I rushed into the depths of the forest .
Even so will I brave the plague and though no man follow , I will plant the Grecian standard on the height of St . Sophia . ''
She was carried thus unconscious on board ; the anchor weighed , and the wind being favourable , we stood far out to sea ; with all the canvas spread , and the power of the engine to assist , we scudded swiftly and steadily through the chafed element .
Clouds hid the moon , everything was obscure , and I heard only the sound of the boat as its keel cut through the waves ; the murmur lulled me , and in a short time I slept soundly .
`` No , no , '' he said , `` do not deceive yourself , me you can not .
He beholds in me one whom he has injured even unto death ; and I derive no hope from his kindness ; no change can possibly be brought about even by his best intentions .
I shall immediately depart for Dunkeld . ''
A nervous fever was the consequence ; during which he was nursed by the daughter of a poor cottager , under whose roof he lodged .
Two results presented themselves in the view he took of the future .
I shall relate events that impressed me with feelings which , from what I had been , have made me what I am .
The Greek took it , but he handled it in no artist like way ; at length he said : `` I must confess to you , my Lord , that I did not make this drawing .
The sky was blue above , and the air impregnated with fragrance by the rare flowers that grew among the weeds .
One word , in truth , had alarmed her more than battles or sieges , during which she trusted Raymond 's high command would exempt him from danger .
He was sent to Eton and afterwards to college ; allowed from childhood the free use of large sums of money ; thus enjoying from his earliest youth the independance which a boy with these advantages , always acquires at a public school .
Adrian observed a change during a visit that he afterward paid them ; but he could not tell its extent , or divine the cause .
But , no , it is not so ; I have my Mathilda , my consolation , and my hope . ''
Who was I ? What was I ? Whence did I come ?
At night , when she could leave me unperceived , she wandered through the house , or hung over the couches of her children ; and in the day time would sink into a perturbed sleep , while her murmurs and starts betrayed the unquiet dreams that vexed her .
I ask if in the calm of their measured reveries , if in the deep meditations which fill their hours , they feel the extasy of a youthful tyro in the school of pleasure ?
I observed , with pleasure , that he did not go to the forest that day , but spent it in repairing the cottage and cultivating the garden .
In one corner , near a small fire , sat an old man , leaning his head on his hands in a disconsolate attitude .
`` Alas '' said the old man , who gave me this account with tears in his eyes , `` it wrings my heart to see my lord in this state : when I heard that he was coming down here with you , my young lady , I thought we should have the happy days over again that we enjoyed during the short life of my lady your mother But that would be too much happiness for us poor creatures born to tears and that was why she was taken from us so soon ; she was too beautiful and good for us .
I could only do this on foot , as the mass of ruin was impracticable for a horse .
The winter , however , was spent cheerfully ; and although the spring was uncommonly late , when it came its beauty compensated for its dilatoriness .
CHAPTER II I now come to my own story .
We passed a considerable period at Oxford , rambling among its environs and endeavouring to identify every spot which might relate to the most animating epoch of English history .
Farewell , Raymond ; be happy in having chosen the better part in life .
War was at last tacitly acknowledged between us .
Already she fears for us .
But this was not the time for delay ; I disencumbered the dogs of their dead companion , gave them a plentiful portion of food , and after an hour 's rest , which was absolutely necessary , and yet which was bitterly irksome to me , I continued my route .
`` Ah , Raymond , were we not happy ?
We quitted London on the th of March and remained a few days at Windsor , rambling in its beautiful forest .
When I returned , as often as it was necessary , I cleared their path from the snow and performed those offices that I had seen done by Felix .
`` I continued to wind among the paths of the wood , until I came to its boundary , which was skirted by a deep and rapid river , into which many of the trees bent their branches , now budding with the fresh spring .
But for one thing he would have been completely triumphant .
It was found , that , though at first the stop put to all circulation of property , had reduced those before supported by the factitious wants of society to sudden and hideous poverty , yet when the boundaries of private possession were thrown down , the products of human labour at present existing were more , far more , than the thinned generation could possibly consume .
I do not know that any will peruse these pages except you , my friend , who will receive them at my death .
`` Mad and foolish boy '' exclaimed the angry lady , `` you have chosen with dreams and theories to overthrow my schemes for your own aggrandizement ; but you shall not do the same by those I have formed for your sister .
I gnashed my teeth and ground them together , uttering a groan that came from my inmost soul .
Can my soul , inextricably linked to this perishable frame , become lethargic and cold , even as this sensitive mechanism shall lose its youthful elasticity ?
Chapter I sat one evening in my laboratory ; the sun had set , and the moon was just rising from the sea ; I had not sufficient light for my employment , and I remained idle , in a pause of consideration of whether I should leave my labour for the night or hasten its conclusion by an unremitting attention to it .
I told him of the business of the evening , and a smile relaxed the contracted muscles .
The peasants were shut up in their hovels , and only a few of the most hardy ventured forth to seize the animals whom starvation had forced from their hiding places to seek for prey .
I admired virtue and good feelings and loved the gentle manners and amiable qualities of my cottagers , but I was shut out from intercourse with them , except through means which I obtained by stealth , when I was unseen and unknown , and which rather increased than satisfied the desire I had of becoming one among my fellows .
Alas for these latter days The world had grown old , and all its inmates partook of the decrepitude .
Above all , the anxious mother , my own beloved and drooping Idris , claimed my earnest care ; I could not reproach the anxiety that never for a moment slept in her heart , but I exerted myself to distract her attention from too keen an observation of the truth of things , of the near and nearer approaches of disease , misery , and death , of the wild look of our attendants as intelligence of another and yet another death reached us ; for to the last something new occurred that seemed to transcend in horror all that had gone before .
I related my adventures of the night , my endeavours to find our lost one , and my disappointment .
Her whole appearance awakened his deepest interest .
When Idris entered , so far had Raymond forgotten himself , that he asked for my sister ; one word , which told of her mysterious disappearance , recalled him .
You , who fancy that you can read the human soul , as your native lake reads each crevice and folding of its surrounding hills say what you think of me ; king expectant , angel or devil , which ? ''
One of his most intimate friends was a merchant who , from a flourishing state , fell , through numerous mischances , into poverty .
Alas I could never have believed that it was indeed Elinor that died if once when I spoke she had not lifted her almost benighted eyes , and for one moment like nought beside on earth , more lovely than a sunbeam , slighter , quicker than the waving plumage of a bird , dazzling as lightning and like it giving day to night , yet mild and faint , that smile came ; it went , and then there was an end of all joy to me . ''
It was through her beloved lessons that he cast off his old pursuits and gradually formed himself to become one among his fellow men ; a distinguished member of society , a Patriot ; and an enlightened lover of truth and virtue .
`` For some days I haunted the spot where these scenes had taken place , sometimes wishing to see you , sometimes resolved to quit the world and its miseries forever .
I , their eldest child , was born at Naples , and as an infant accompanied them in their rambles .
To you first entering on life , to whom care is new and agony unknown , how can you understand what I have felt and still feel ?
Nor did my hate long confine itself to useless wishes ; I began to reflect on the best means of securing him ; and for this purpose , about a month after my release , I repaired to a criminal judge in the town and told him that I had an accusation to make , that I knew the destroyer of my family , and that I required him to exert his whole authority for the apprehension of the murderer .
Fear has been said to be the parent of religion : even of that religion is it the generator , which leads its votaries to sacrifice human victims at its altars ; but the religion which springs from happiness is a lovelier growth ; the religion which makes the heart breathe forth fervent thanksgiving , and causes us to pour out the overflowings of the soul before the author of our being ; that which is the parent of the imagination and the nurse of poetry ; that which bestows benevolent intelligence on the visible mechanism of the world , and makes earth a temple with heaven for its cope .
Still I would not hurry on ; I would pause for ever on the recollections of these happy weeks ; I would repeat every word , and how many do I remember , record every enchantment of the faery habitation .
This morning , as I sat watching the wan countenance of my friend his eyes half closed and his limbs hanging listlessly I was roused by half a dozen of the sailors , who demanded admission into the cabin .
The queen 's dextrous management was employed to prolong these absences , and gather together accusations .
She was alarmed by this account and passed several hours in looking for him , when the gates of Geneva were shut , and she was forced to remain several hours of the night in a barn belonging to a cottage , being unwilling to call up the inhabitants , to whom she was well known .
She was the living spirit of love to soften and attract ; I might have become sullen in my study , rough through the ardour of my nature , but that she was there to subdue me to a semblance of her own gentleness .
If his heart had slept but a few years longer , he might have been saved ; but it awoke in its infancy ; it had power , but no knowledge ; and it was ruined , even as a too early blowing bud is nipt by the killing frost .
But he was impatient of the years that must intervene , he was frank of heart and fearless .
How sweet is the affection of others to such a wretch as I am It removes more than half my misfortune , and I feel as if I could die in peace now that my innocence is acknowledged by you , dear lady , and your cousin . ''
She listened to me as she had done to the narration of my adventures , and sometimes took an interest in this species of information ; but she did not , as I did , look on it as an integral part of her being , which having obtained , I could no more put off than the universal sense of touch .
Can the ship wrecked mariner , who spent with swimming , hears close behind the splashing waters divided by a shark which pursues him through the Atlantic , hope ?
The glory of life was gone for her ; the roseate halo of love , which had imbued every object with its own colour , faded ; she was content to take life as it was , and to make the best of leaden coloured reality .
My alliance with him was the pledge of my sincerity , my union with his sister , my children , his presumptive heirs , were the hostages of my truth .
I then reflected , and the thought made me shiver , that the creature whom I had left in my apartment might still be there , alive and walking about .
It was more common , for all who possessed landed property to secede to their estates , attended by whole troops of the indigent , to cut down their woods to erect temporary dwellings , and to portion out their parks , parterres and flower gardens , to necessitous families .
Order , comfort , and even health , rose under his influence , as from the touch of a magician 's wand .
Adrian was now fifteen years of age .
My father felt this kindness ; for a moment ambitious dreams floated before him ; and he thought that it would be well to exchange his present pursuits for nobler duties .
The idea of this visit was torture to me , yet I could not refuse .
Come with me to my room ; we will remain there till the hour agreed upon . ''
She refused with a smile , reminding him that for the present his sister had promised to be patient .
Soon , alas was one to conquer .
Their occasional deaths filled my infant heart with anguish .
If she is condemned , I never shall know joy more .
If this journey had taken place during my days of study and happiness , it would have afforded me inexpressible pleasure .
Its presence gave me a hope that by its means I might find my home .
New feelings had arisen within her , which she was unable to express in writing to one whom she had only known in childhood ; but we saw each other again , and our intimacy was renewed as if nothing had intervened to check it .
I was ready to sink from fatigue and hunger , but being surrounded by a crowd , I thought it politic to rouse all my strength , that no physical debility might be construed into apprehension or conscious guilt .
I took my passage in the same ship , but he escaped , I know not how .
The nature of riches and influence forcibly confined the list of candidates to a few of the wealthiest ; and it was much to be feared , that the ill humour and contention generated by this triennial struggle , would counterbalance its advantages in impartial eyes .
high aspirations cause the flow of my blood ; my eyes seem to penetrate the cloudy midnight of time , and to discern within the depths of its darkness , the fruition of all my soul desires .
My tears flow ; my mind is overshadowed by a cloud of disappointment .
The mounting flames had curled round the building , as it fell , and was destroyed .
Besides , they observed that it appeared that I had brought the body from another place , and it was likely that as I did not appear to know the shore , I might have put into the harbour ignorant of the distance of the town of from the place where I had deposited the corpse .
Now pause During my journey I might dream , and with buoyant wings reach the summit of life 's high edifice .
He , '' he continued , pointing to the corpse , `` he suffered not in the consummation of the deed .
It was not so with me ; and the question of rank and right dwindled to insignificance in my eyes , when I pictured the scene of suffering Athens .
When their course is fulfilled , the dial begins to cast westward an uncertain shadow ; the eye lids of day are opened , and birds and flowers , the startled vegetation , and fresh breeze awaken ; the sun at length appears , and in majestic procession climbs the capitol of heaven .
Nature , our mother , and our friend , had turned on us a brow of menace .
Strange system riddle of the Sphynx , most awe striking that thus man remains , while we the individuals pass away .
Plague might not revive with the summer ; but if it did , it should find us prepared .
`` Do not think that I would intrude upon your confidence : I only ask your patience .
Let him bare his arm and transfix me with lightning this is also one of his attributes '' and the old man laughed .
They seldom addressed each other , shunning explanation , each fearing any communication the other might make .
He rose and quitted the room with my nurse , and in a moment my father entered it .
When the latter died this sister was taken by her maternal relations : they had seldom seen one another , and were quite unlike in disposition .
Chapter My present situation was one in which all voluntary thought was swallowed up and lost .
He gave me an illustrious name and noble station ; the world 's respect reflected from his own glory : all this joined to his own undying love , inspired me with sensations towards him , akin to those with which we regard the Giver of life .
He had sinned against his own honour , by affirming , swearing to , a direct falsehood ; true this he had palmed on a woman , and it might therefore be deemed less base by others not by him ; for whom had he deceived ?
Sights of woe now became familiar to me , and were I to tell all of anguish and pain that I witnessed , of the despairing moans of age , and the more terrible smiles of infancy in the bosom of horror , my reader , his limbs quivering and his hair on end , would wonder how I did not , seized with sudden frenzy , dash myself from some precipice , and so close my eyes for ever on the sad end of the world .
Methinks his spirit remains here as well as that dust , which , uncommunicable though it be , is more precious in its nothingness than aught else widowed earth clasps to her sorrowing bosom .
Surely the glorious twins of Latona were not more welcome , when , in the infancy of the world , they were brought forth to beautify and enlighten this `` sterile promontory , '' than were this angelic pair to my lowly dwelling and grateful heart .
Where could we turn , and not find a desolation pregnant with the dire lesson of example ?
As the country people poured into London , the citizens fled southwards they climbed the higher edifices of the town , fancying that they could discern the smoke and flames the enemy spread around them .
Her internal pride and humility of manner were now more than ever at war .
From my youth I have said , I will be virtuous ; I will dedicate my life for the good of others ; I will do my best to extirpate evil and if the spirit who protects ill should so influence circumstances that I should suffer through my endeavour , yet while there is hope and hope there ever must be , of success , cheerfully do I gird myself to my task .
She endeavoured to read his thought , and then answered with dignity , `` As you please .
A moment more and the old walls again met my sight , while over them hovered a murky cloud ; fragments of buildings whirled above , half seen in smoke , while flames burst out beneath , and continued explosions filled the air with terrific thunders .
They spurn and hate me .
Frankness and social feelings were the essence of Raymond 's nature ; without them his qualities became common place ; without these to spread glory over his intercourse with Perdita , his vaunted exchange of a throne for her love , was as weak and empty as the rainbow hues which vanish when the sun is down .
He paused , looking on me with wonder , and again turning towards the lifeless form of his creator , he seemed to forget my presence , and every feature and gesture seemed instigated by the wildest rage of some uncontrollable passion .
In those days the rest of the world was nothing to me : all other men I never considered nor felt what they were ; nor did I look on you as one of them .
Perhaps a history such as mine had better die with me , but a feeling that I can not define leads me on and I am too weak both in body and mind to resist the slightest impulse .
Raymond could not resist these signs of distress : he felt perhaps somewhat ashamed of the part he acted of the injured man , he who was in truth the injurer .
As for instance , a typhus fever has been brought by ships to one sea port town ; yet the very people who brought it there , were incapable of communicating it in a town more fortunately situated .
It was a melancholy pleasure to me to listen to his inspired words ; to catch for a moment the light of his eyes ; to feel a transient sympathy and then to awaken from the delusion , again to know that all this was nothing , a dream a shadow for that there was no reallity for me ; my father had for ever deserted me , leaving me only memories which set an eternal barrier between me and my fellow creatures .
She answered my reasonings more briefly , declaring with disdain , that the reason was hers ; and , until I could persuade her that the past could be unacted , that maturity could go back to the cradle , and that all that was could become as though it had never been , it was useless to assure her that no real change had taken place in her fate .
He was sent to Cumberland ; but the plan of correspondence between the lovers , arranged by Evadne , was effectually hidden from her .
Yet , as he had lived on for months nearly in the same state , he did not inspire us with any immediate fear ; and , though he talked of death as an event most familiar to his thoughts , he did not cease to exert himself to render others happy , or to cultivate his own astonishing powers of mind .
We met baggage waggons , and many females of high and low rank returning to Fairy or Kishan , there to wait the issue of the expected day .
The flames of the city bent beneath it ; and the smoke and dust arising from the ruins was dissipated .
Every night I was oppressed by a slow fever , and I became nervous to a most painful degree ; the fall of a leaf startled me , and I shunned my fellow creatures as if I had been guilty of a crime .
But do you not see , that , under the idea of exalting me , he is chalking out a new path for himself ; a path of action from which he has long wandered ?
All slept all England slept ; and from my window , commanding a wide prospect of the star illumined country , I saw the land stretched out in placid rest .
Shall I disturb this calm by mingling in the world ?
Shall the daughter of the noble , though prodigal Zaimi , appear a beggar before her compeers or inferiors superiors she had none .
`` Perdita , '' I had said , `` some day you will discover that you have done wrong in again casting Raymond on the thorns of life .
Morning dawned before I arrived at the village of Chamounix ; I took no rest , but returned immediately to Geneva .
I had hitherto supposed him to be the murderer of my brother , and I eagerly sought a confirmation or denial of this opinion .
This undercurrent of thought , often soothed me amidst distress , and even agony .
The labour necessary to bring the lands to this sort of culture , employed and fed the offcasts of the diminished manufactories .
He died embracing the sod , which was piled above his breast , when he was placed beside the beings whom he regretted with such wild despair .
Sometimes , on the very brink of certainty , I failed ; yet still I clung to the hope which the next day or the next hour might realize .
I sometimes expostulated with Perdita on the subject of her reserve ; but she rejected my counsels , while her daughter 's sensibility excited in her a tenderness still more passionate .
It was my task each day to visit the various families assembled in our town , and when the weather permitted , I was glad to prolong my ride , and to muse in solitude over every changeful appearance of our destiny , endeavouring to gather lessons for the future from the experience of the past .
Such was the depth of my emotion that I had no feeling of what caused my distress , my thoughts even wandered to many indifferent objects ; but still neither moving limb or feature my tears fell untill , as if the fountains were exhausted , they gradually subsided , and I awoke to life as from a dream .
O ye heart strings of mine , could ye be torn asunder , and my soul not spend itself in tears of blood for sorrow Idris , after the first shock , regained a portion of fortitude .
Little Clara accompanied us ; the poor child did not well understand what was going forward .
With new courage , therefore , I pressed on , and in two days arrived at a wretched hamlet on the seashore .
She went on , feeling that , if she had paused for a moment , the checked waters of misery would have deluged her soul , that her wrecked hopes would raise their wailing voices , and that those who now echoed her mirth , and provoked her repartees , would have shrunk in fear from her convulsive despair .
He promised that he would come and see me again ; and bade me take cheer , and to encourage what happy thoughts I could , untill time and fortitude should overcome my misery , and I could again mingle in society .
Your heart I fear , replied Diotima , was broken by your sufferings but if you had struggled if when you found all hope of earthly happiness wither within you while desire of it scorched your soul if you had near you a friend to have raised you to the contemplation of beauty the search of knowledge you would have found perhaps not new hopes spring within you but a new life distinct from that of passion by which you had before existed relate to me what this misery was that thus engroses you tell me what were the vicissitudes of feeling that you endured on earth after death our actions worldly interest fade as nothing before us but the traces of our feelings exist the memories of those are what furnish us here with eternal subject of meditation .
Some , in the true spirit of reckless enterprise , went on board a ship of an hundred and twenty guns ; the vast hull drifted with the tide out of the bay , and after many hours its crew of landsmen contrived to spread a great part of her enormous canvass the wind took it , and while a thousand mistakes of the helmsman made her present her head now to one point , and now to another , the vast fields of canvass that formed her sails flapped with a sound like that of a huge cataract ; or such as a sea like forest may give forth when buffeted by an equinoctial north wind .
But I wander from my relation let woe come at its appointed time ; I may at this stage of my story still talk of happiness .
I proposed the enterprize of poaching on his demesne to my few remaining comrades , who were the most determined and lawless of the crew ; but they all shrunk from the peril ; so I was left to achieve my revenge myself .
Stopping short , I clasped my hands , and with the fervour of a new proselyte , cried , `` Doubt me not , Adrian , I also will become wise and good '' and then quite overcome , I wept aloud .
The images of health and hope which I presented to her , made her with a smile consent .
The light became more and more oppressive to me , and the heat wearying me as I walked , I sought a place where I could receive shade .
The picture was then produced which the servant had found in her pocket ; and when Elizabeth , in a faltering voice , proved that it was the same which , an hour before the child had been missed , she had placed round his neck , a murmur of horror and indignation filled the court .
So I was entirely thrown upon my own resourses .
There is nothing more lovely , to which the heart more yearns than a free spirited boy , gentle , brave , and generous .
As yet , thank God , I am equal to the government of the town ; and I look only to the present .
He died soon after , leaving two children , a son and a daughter .
Could I be other than all ear , to one who seemed to govern the whole earth in his grasping imagination , and who only quailed when he attempted to rule himself .
Even Perdita will rejoice .
She hung over the patient in agony , which was not mitigated when her thoughts wandered towards her babes , for whom she feared infection .
He spoke with pride ; he felt injured .
To England , therefore , I was bound , and it was understood that my union with Elizabeth should take place immediately on my return .
Then I would hasten to my desk , weave the new found web of mind in firm texture and brilliant colours , leaving the fashioning of the material to a calmer moment .
I owe you six years of unalloyed happiness .
He is so gentle , yet so wise ; his mind is so cultivated , and when he speaks , although his words are culled with the choicest art , yet they flow with rapidity and unparalleled eloquence .
It is midnight ; the breeze blows fairly , and the watch on deck scarcely stir .
Raymond started angrily when he saw me .
On the twenty first of June , it was said that an hour before noon , a black sun arose : an orb , the size of that luminary , but dark , defined , whose beams were shadows , ascended from the west ; in about an hour it had reached the meridian , and eclipsed the bright parent of day .
The rage and yells of the wounded man , the howling execrations of his comrade , which I answered with equal bitterness and fury , echoed through the dell ; morning broke more and more , ill accordant in its celestial beauty with our brute and noisy contest .
I am alone and miserable ; man will not associate with me ; but one as deformed and horrible as myself would not deny herself to me .
The woods around afforded us shade , the river secured to us a constant supply of water ; nay , detachments were employed in furnishing the army with ice , which had been laid up on Haemus , and Athos , and the mountains of Macedonia , while cooling fruits and wholesome food renovated the strength of the labourers , and made us bear with less impatience the weight of the unrefreshing air .
`` The day is ours , '' he cried , `` the Turks fly from the bayonet . ''
There was but one good and one evil in the world life and death .
I passed from the palace of Sweet Waters to the plain on which the encampment lay , and found its inhabitants in commotion .
This idea made me shudder and recalled me to action .
The plague I am told is in Constantinople , perhaps I have imbibed its effluvia perhaps disease is the real cause of my prognostications .
The nobles did not hesitate to express their fear ; the other party endeavoured to treat the matter lightly .
I LIVED far from the busy haunts of men , and the rumour of wars or political changes came worn to a mere sound , to our mountain abodes .
`` The family , after having been thus occupied for a short time , extinguished their lights and retired , as I conjectured , to rest . ''
It was in the latter end of September that I again quitted my native country .
`` As to the likelihood of escaping , '' said Adrian , `` ten years hence the cold stars may shine on the graves of all of us ; but as to my peculiar liability to infection , I could easily prove , both logically and physically , that in the midst of contagion I have a better chance of life than you .
No father could claim the gratitude of his child so completely as I should deserve theirs .
First he was to visit Evadne , and then to hasten to the palace of the Protectorate .
`` Felix conducted the fugitives through France to Lyons and across Mont Cenis to Leghorn , where the merchant had decided to wait a favourable opportunity of passing into some part of the Turkish dominions .
But they were awed as I had been , at the change of his appearance .
It keeps up a perpetual fever in my veins ; it frets my immedicable wound ; it is instinct with poison .
I repeat his persuasions in faint terms and can not give you at the same time the tone and gesture that animated them .
The earth was spread out as an highway for him ; the heavens built up as a canopy for him .
`` I had admired the perfect forms of my cottagers their grace , beauty , and delicate complexions ; but how was I terrified when I viewed myself in a transparent pool At first I started back , unable to believe that it was indeed I who was reflected in the mirror ; and when I became fully convinced that I was in reality the monster that I am , I was filled with the bitterest sensations of despondence and mortification .
I wish you could see him ; he is very tall of his age , with sweet laughing blue eyes , dark eyelashes , and curling hair .
I go with the belief that I have your pardon .
A mightier power than the human was at hand to destroy our plans or to achieve the work we avoided .
This contention is unworthy of both of us ; and I confess that I am weary of replying to charges at once unfounded and unkind . ''
`` My dear Victor , '' cried he , `` what , for God 's sake , is the matter ?
Why , that requires not this preparation ; ye need not have come thus far and dragged your captain to the shame of a defeat merely to prove yourselves cowards .
And do not you fear the fierce vengeance of my arm wreaked on your miserable head ?
Children , unadepts in language , seldom find words to express their thoughts , nor could we tell in what manner the late events had impressed themselves on her mind .
Even our soldiers were awed to silence ; the music paused ; the clang of arms was hushed .
`` My dear Victor , do not speak thus .
They were certainly independant for neither could the good spirit allow the existence of evil or the evil one the existence of good Tired of these doubts to which I could form no probable solution Sick of forming theories which I destroyed as quickly as I built them I was one evening on the top of Hymettus beholding the lovely prospect as the sun set in the glowing sea I looked towards Athens in my heart I exclaimed oh busy hive of men What heroism what meaness exists within thy walls And alas both to the good to the wicked what incalculable misery Freemen ye call yourselves yet every free man has ten slaves to build up his freedom and these slaves are men as they are yet degraded by their station to all that is mean loathsome Yet in how many hearts now beating in that city do high thoughts live magnanimity that should methinks redeem the whole human race What though the good man is unhappy has he not that in his heart to satisfy him ?
I accompanied the whale fishers on several expeditions to the North Sea ; I voluntarily endured cold , famine , thirst , and want of sleep ; I often worked harder than the common sailors during the day and devoted my nights to the study of mathematics , the theory of medicine , and those branches of physical science from which a naval adventurer might derive the greatest practical advantage .
Begone , or let us try our strength in a fight , in which one must fall . ''
I escaped from them to the room where lay the body of Elizabeth , my love , my wife , so lately living , so dear , so worthy .
`` I am now going to undertake an office fitted for me .
When they found themselves discovered they discharged their muskets , and some came to the front to cover the others , whose crews , exerting all their strength , endeavoured to escape with their light barks from among the dark hulls that environed them .
The fate of the world seemed bound up in the death of this single man .
I turned from the awful ruin of the Golden City , and , after great exertion , succeeded in extricating myself from its enclosure .
I know it I see it you hate me '' I was transported by violent emotion , and rising from his feet , at which I had thrown myself , I leant against a tree , wildly raising my eyes to heaven .
She played a simple air , and her voice accompanied it in sweet accents , but unlike the wondrous strain of the stranger .
Do not be long away '' I assured her of my impatience to return , and then , with a small escort rode along the plain towards the tower of Marmora .
These disasters came home to so many bosoms , and , through the various channels of commerce , were carried so entirely into every class and division of the community , that of necessity they became the first question in the state , the chief subjects to which we must turn our attention .
We endeavoured to calm him but our own hearts were not calm .
Adrian had the superiority in learning and eloquence ; but Raymond possessed a quick penetration , and a practical knowledge of life , which usually displayed itself in opposition to Adrian , and thus kept up the ball of discussion .
She herself would disdain my interference .
From the many peopled earth , from the sympathies of man , from the loved resorts of my youth , from the kindness of my friends , from the affection of my only beloved Perdita , I am about to be removed .
The kind of banishment he now experienced arose from other causes .
They studied , they rode together ; they were never seperate and seldom admitted a third to their society .
A heavy rain made this mode of travelling now incommodious ; so we embarked in a steam packet , and after a short passage landed at Portsmouth .
I gradually saw plainly the clear stream that supplied me with drink and the trees that shaded me with their foliage .
Remember , that I love her still , that my dearest hope is that she will again be mine .
There are times when we have an indefinable sentiment of impending change for better or for worse , to arise from an event ; and , be it for better or for worse , we fear the change , and shun the event .
But certainly she had made deep observations while she noted in silence the changes that passed around her .
It was a very dark night , as the moon had not yet risen ; they did not land at the harbour , but , as they had been accustomed , at a creek about two miles below .
The injustice of his sentence was very flagrant ; all Paris was indignant ; and it was judged that his religion and wealth rather than the crime alleged against him had been the cause of his condemnation .
Can the calm beams of their heaven seeking eyes equal the flashes of mingling passion which blind his , or does the influence of cold philosophy steep their soul in a joy equal to his , engaged In this dear work of youthful revelry .
`` Why , my little Lady Protectress , '' said he , playfully , `` what is this you say ?
Although by our situation and dispositions we were almost equally cut off from the usual forms of social intercourse , we formed a strong contrast to each other .
Although I possessed the capacity of bestowing animation , yet to prepare a frame for the reception of it , with all its intricacies of fibres , muscles , and veins , still remained a work of inconceivable difficulty and labour .
Party speeches were delivered , which clothed the question in cant , and veiled its simple meaning in a woven wind of words .
I saw at this juncture that Raymond changed colour ; his eyes were withdrawn from the orator , and cast on the ground ; the listeners turned from one to the other ; but in the meantime the speaker 's voice filled their ears the thunder of his denunciations influenced their senses .
I confess , that I have not been unmoved by the development of the tale ; and that I have been depressed , nay , agonized , at some parts of the recital , which I have faithfully transcribed from my materials .
Idleness had ever been irksome to me , and now that I wished to fly from reflection , and hated my former studies , I felt great relief in being the fellow pupil with my friend , and found not only instruction but consolation in the works of the orientalists .
Alfred , now nine years old , was an upright , manly little fellow , with radiant brow , soft eyes , and gentle , though independent disposition .
Why am I obliged to live ?
I was hurried away by fury ; revenge alone endowed me with strength and composure ; it moulded my feelings and allowed me to be calculating and calm at periods when otherwise delirium or death would have been my portion .
Come , as you have played Despair with me I will play the part of Una with you and bring you hurtless from his dark cavern .
My departure was therefore fixed at an early date , but before the day resolved upon could arrive , the first misfortune of my life occurred an omen , as it were , of my future misery .
On the fourth morning all vanished .
I was from a thousand motives induced to attend minutely to the course of events , and watch each turn with intense anxiety .
Half frightened , I would have taken her hand ; but she shudderingly withdrew it , and strove to collect herself .
His blind and aged father and his gentle sister lay in a noisome dungeon while he enjoyed the free air and the society of her whom he loved .
I found that the wind was northeast and must have driven me far from the coast from which I had embarked .
She saw my despondency , and the aching cares of Idris .
I arrived here yesterday , and my first task is to assure my dear sister of my welfare and increasing confidence in the success of my undertaking .
Then , with lids humid with a tear and trembling voice , she continued `` Dear friends , do not think it strange that now , visiting you for the first time , I ask your assistance , and confide my wishes and fears to you .
These contemplations engaged her , when the voice of Raymond first struck her ear , a voice , once heard , never to be forgotten ; she mastered her gush of feelings , and welcomed him with quiet gentleness .
Instances of desertion became more frequent ; and even murders , which made the hearer sick with horror , where the fear of contagion had armed those nearest in blood against each other .
I even now blush at the falsehoods I uttered ; my heart sickens : I will leave this complication of what I hope I may in a manner call innocent deceit to be imagined by the reader .
I carefully traced the windings of the land and hailed a steeple which I at length saw issuing from behind a small promontory .
More than once the agitation into which these reflections threw me made my friends dread a dangerous relapse .
`` Indeed I dare not die .
The sensation is most dreary , to use no stronger term , with which one looks forward to passing the long hours of night beside a sick bed , especially if the patient be an infant , who can not explain its pain , and whose flickering life resembles the wasting flame of the watch light , Whose narrow fire Is shaken by the wind , and on whose edge Devouring darkness hovers .
On the birth of a second son , my junior by seven years , my parents gave up entirely their wandering life and fixed themselves in their native country .
Alas why must I record the hapless delusion of this matchless specimen of humanity ?
You are younger ; yet I do not suppose , possessed as you are of a competent fortune , that an early marriage would at all interfere with any future plans of honour and utility that you may have formed .
When I am gone , you will console your mother , and tell her that death was only bitter because it divided me from her ; that my last thoughts will be spent on her .
Some years ago , when the images which this world affords first opened upon me , when I felt the cheering warmth of summer and heard the rustling of the leaves and the warbling of the birds , and these were all to me , I should have wept to die ; now it is my only consolation .
In a few moments I saw him in his boat , which shot across the waters with an arrowy swiftness and was soon lost amidst the waves .
All went on cheerfully now ; we met as usual , and talked without dread of our future plans .
During the first year of their marriage , Perdita presented Raymond with a lovely girl .
This also was my doing And my father 's woe , and the desolation of that late so smiling home all was the work of my thrice accursed hands Ye weep , unhappy ones , but these are not your last tears Again shall you raise the funeral wail , and the sound of your lamentations shall again and again be heard Frankenstein , your son , your kinsman , your early , much loved friend ; he who would spend each vital drop of blood for your sakes , who has no thought nor sense of joy except as it is mirrored also in your dear countenances , who would fill the air with blessings and spend his life in serving you he bids you weep , to shed countless tears ; happy beyond his hopes , if thus inexorable fate be satisfied , and if the destruction pause before the peace of the grave have succeeded to your sad torments Thus spoke my prophetic soul , as , torn by remorse , horror , and despair , I beheld those I loved spend vain sorrow upon the graves of William and Justine , the first hapless victims to my unhallowed arts .
The trial began , and after the advocate against her had stated the charge , several witnesses were called .
That he should be restless I understood ; that he should wander as an unlaid ghost and find no quiet from the burning hell that consumed his heart .
To escape these evils was the aim and scope of all our exertions .
The political state of England became agitated as the time drew near when the new Protector was to be elected .
I dared not think that the sun should shine and the moon rise not on your living form but on your grave .
Whatever those might be which descended to me , my noble young friend resolved should not be lost for want of culture .
You promised to facilitate my visit to Adrian ; I conjure you to perform your promise .
But I enjoyed friends , dear not only through habit and association , but from their own merits ; and wherever I am , the soothing voice of my Elizabeth and the conversation of Clerval will be ever whispered in my ear .
I was alone ; none were near me to dissipate the gloom and relieve me from the sickening oppression of the most terrible reveries .
O quickly bind up the wounds of the fallen let not one die ; let not one more soul escape through your merciless gashes , to relate before the throne of God the tale of fratricide ; bind up their wounds restore them to their friends .
In the same spirit of exaggeration she had , on the event of her separation from Raymond , caused it to be entirely neglected .
A shriek burst from the lips of the poor wretch ; and then sudden motionlessness came over him ; it was manifest to all that he was dead .
She felt , that , once awakened , Raymond would never return unrepining to Windsor .
For a time , I thought that , by watching a complying moment , fostering the still warm ashes , I might relume in her the flame of love .
I did not dare return to the apartment which I inhabited , but felt impelled to hurry on , although drenched by the rain which poured from a black and comfortless sky .
Never was she so enchanting as at this time , when she recalled the sunshine of her smiles and spent them upon us .
He entered while we were speaking .
His appearance re animated our friend ; and , when he came to speak and act , his hesitation vanished , and he shone out supreme in majesty and victory .
It was curious to trace in this miniature model the very traits of its father .
Oh my pen haste thou to write what was , before the thought of what is , arrests the hand that guides thee .
Notwithstanding the melancholy object of my journey , my spirits were exhilarated by reviving hope , by the swift motion of the airy pinnace , and the balmy visitation of the sunny air .
But , by the God that made me , hell is not more false than the word you have spoken '' Perdita was struck by the impassioned seriousness of his asseverations .
Interpret my words with candour and answer me , I conjure you , with confidence and sincerity . ''
Love is a delicate sprite and easily hurt by rough jealousy .
Resolved to pursue no inglorious career , he turned his eyes toward the East , as affording scope for his spirit of enterprise .
Raymond recognized her ; and his manner changed from polite beneficence to the warmest protestations of kindness and sympathy .
The high born ladies of the country would have deemed themselves disgraced if they had now enjoyed , what they before called a necessary , the ease of a carriage .
It was curious that even little Clara observed this law towards her mother .
Thus in her twenty ninth year she died ; having enjoyed some few years of the happiness of paradise , and sustaining a reverse to which her impatient spirit and affectionate disposition were unable to submit .
Remember , thou hast made me more powerful than thyself ; my height is superior to thine , my joints more supple .
I did not participate in these feelings , for to me the walls of a dungeon or a palace were alike hateful .
Sometimes , seized with sudden agony , he could not continue his tale ; at others , his voice broken , yet piercing , uttered with difficulty the words so replete with anguish .
Enjoyment plays the cook to their homely fare , and mingles intoxication with their simple drink .
Clara was dear to her , to all .
The mutual link of our destinies is broken ; we must be divided by seas by land .
Let me try if he will die with me ; and as I fear to die alone , if he will accompany me to cheer me , and thus he can shew himself my friend in the only manner my misery will permit .
Finding the door open , I entered .
Then weeping , she clung to me : `` Take me to him , '' she cried , `` unkind Lionel , why do you keep me here ?
The arts of life , and the discoveries of science had augmented in a ratio which left all calculation behind ; food sprung up , so to say , spontaneously machines existed to supply with facility every want of the population .
Below this picture was a miniature of William ; and my tears flowed when I looked upon it .
As I spoke I fixed my eyes upon his countenance , and his exquisite beauty , the heavenly compassion that beamed from his eyes , his gentle yet earnest look of deprecation and wonder even before he spoke wrought a change in my high strained feelings taking from me all the sterness of despair and filling me only with the softest grief .
Their landing was long unknown , but having now advanced within an hundred miles of London , the country people flying before them arrived in successive troops , each exaggerating the numbers , fury , and cruelty of the assailants .
In the face of all this we call ourselves lords of the creation , wielders of the elements , masters of life and death , and we allege in excuse of this arrogance , that though the individual is destroyed , man continues for ever .
I appeal to moralists and sages .
I perceived , as the shape came nearer sight tremendous and abhorred that it was the wretch whom I had created .
Such is , to borrow the words of an eloquent and philosophic writer , `` the mode of existence decreed to a permanent body composed of transitory parts ; wherein , by the disposition of a stupendous wisdom , moulding together the great mysterious incorporation of the human race , the whole , at one time , is never old , or middle aged , or young , but , in a condition of unchangeable constancy , moves on through the varied tenour of perpetual decay , fall , renovation , and progression . ''
Others will toss these pages lightly over : to you , Woodville , kind , affectionate friend , they will be dear the precious memorials of a heart broken girl who , dying , is still warmed by gratitude towards you : your tears will fall on the words that record my misfortunes ; I know they will and while I have life I thank you for your sympathy .
A mirror betrayed the sign to Idris she started up .
But the intermediate steps , the climbing the wall , raised up between what was and is , while I still looked back nor saw the concealed desert beyond , is a labour past my strength .
`` Come , '' said Adrian , `` I have promised for you , enable me to keep my engagement .
`` I ask but one thing ; I do not fear His hell , for I have it here ; I do not desire His heaven , let me but die and be laid beside them ; let me but , when I lie dead , feel my flesh as it moulders , mingle with theirs .
I stood watching the scene , while Adrian flitted like a shadow in among them , and , by a word and look of sobriety , endeavoured to restore order in the assembly .
He came , therefore , sometimes to see that I was not neglected , but his visits were short and with long intervals .
Oh No mortal could support the horror of that countenance .
When such a thought was heedlessly uttered , the hearers , with a gush of tears and passionate sobs , bore witness how deep their fears were , how small their hopes .
I do not know how long I remained in this situation , but when I awoke I found that the sun had already mounted considerably .
Who can describe their horror and consternation on beholding me ?
Mingled with this horror , I felt the bitterness of disappointment ; dreams that had been my food and pleasant rest for so long a space were now become a hell to me ; and the change was so rapid , the overthrow so complete Morning , dismal and wet , at length dawned and discovered to my sleepless and aching eyes the church of Ingolstadt , its white steeple and clock , which indicated the sixth hour .
Thus I promised myself , as I journied towards my destination with roused and ardent expectation : expectation of the fulfilment of all that in boyhood we promise ourselves of power and enjoyment in maturity .
I had scarcely uttered these words than a flash instantly followed by a tremendous peal of thunder descended on it ; and when my eyes recovered their sight after the dazzling light , the oak no longer stood in the meadow The old man uttered a wild exclamation of horror when he saw so sudden an interpretation given to my prophesy .
Yet the purpose of his soul , his energy and ardent resolution , prevented any re action of sorrow .
She fancied that Raymond would already be free , and that her tender attentions would come to entirely obliterate even the memory of his mischance .
But he is generally melancholy and despairing , and sometimes he gnashes his teeth , as if impatient of the weight of woes that oppresses him .
Perdita 's name was not mentioned ; yet I could not doubt that love for her caused the vacillation of purpose that he exhibited .
My father had expressed a wish in his letters that she should reside with me at his family mansion which was situated in a beautiful country near Richmond in Yorkshire .
It was not joy only that possessed me ; I felt my flesh tingle with excess of sensitiveness , and my pulse beat rapidly .
It seems to me a wild adventure to find in this desart one like you quite solitary : you are young and lovely ; your manners are refined and attractive ; yet there is in your settled melancholy , and something , I know not what , in your expressive eyes that seems to seperate you from your kind : you shudder ; pardon me , I entreat you but I can not help expressing this once at least the lively interest I feel in your destiny .
`` Alas , for us , '' I cried , `` who have lost this latest honour of the world Beloved Raymond He is gone to the nations of the dead ; he has become one of those , who render the dark abode of the obscure grave illustrious by dwelling there .
I will not speak Be it enough for you to know that I am miserable be it enough for you to know , that the painted veil of life is rent , that I sit for ever shrouded in darkness and gloom , that grief is my sister , everlasting lamentation my mate '' I endeavoured to console her ; I did not question her but I caressed her , assured her of my deepest affection and my intense interest in the changes of her fortune : `` Dear words , '' she cried , `` expressions of love come upon my ear , like the remembered sounds of forgotten music , that had been dear to me .
A few days before we left Paris on our way to Switzerland , I received the following letter from Elizabeth : `` My dear Friend , `` It gave me the greatest pleasure to receive a letter from my uncle dated at Paris ; you are no longer at a formidable distance , and I may hope to see you in less than a fortnight .
I abhorred the face of man .
Frankenstein has daily declined in health ; a feverish fire still glimmers in his eyes , but he is exhausted , and when suddenly roused to any exertion , he speedily sinks again into apparent lifelessness .
I no sooner perceived an abatement of the flames than , hurried on by an irresistible impulse , I endeavoured to penetrate the town .
I am quite weary of enduring the misery which hourly I do endure , and I will throw it off .
He left me but I still was calm , and after I had saluted the starry sky and dewy earth with eyes of love and a contented good night , I slept sweetly , visited by dreams , the first of pleasure I had had for many long months .
and day Like a thin exhalation melt away Both wrapping up their beams in clouds to be Themselves close mourners at this obsequie .
A residence in Turkey was abhorrent to her ; her religion and her feelings were alike averse to it .
Since then , the influence of the landed proprietors had augmented ; and at first Ryland was not sorry to observe the machinations of Lord Raymond , which drew off many of his opponent 's partizans .
`` Take care of yourself , my dear Lord , '' I said .
The blue eyes of my angelic girl were fixed on this sweet emblem of herself : `` How the light palpitates , '' she said , `` which is that star 's life .
My arrival was like the newly discovered lamp of a lighthouse to sailors , who are weathering some dangerous point .
Idris could not endure to leave him in this state ; nor was it right either to quit or take with us a young family for a journey of this description .
I have often thought of offering my services to the pestilence stricken towns of France and Italy ; but fear of paining you , and expectation of this catastrophe , withheld me .
And then in a moment he said , `` No , that must not be ; you must not read Dante .
We have watched over her ; nursed her flickering existence ; now she has fallen at once from youth to decrepitude , from health to immedicinable disease ; even as we spend ourselves in struggles for her recovery , she dies ; to all nations the voice goes forth , Hope is dead We are but mourners in the funeral train , and what immortal essence or perishable creation will refuse to make one in the sad procession that attends to its grave the dead comforter of humanity ?
The wretch saw me destroy the creature on whose future existence he depended for happiness , and with a howl of devilish despair and revenge , withdrew .
Let our affection expire but let it not be exchanged for distrust and recrimination .
His habits were unhinged ; his restless mind roused from its sleep , ambition must now be his companion through life ; and if he did not succeed in his present attempt , she foresaw that unhappiness and cureless discontent would follow .
Do you believe , Verney , that I brought you to town for that ?
The sound of firing , early on the following morning , informed us that advanced posts of the armies were engaged .
The very difference of our dispositions gave zest to these conversations .
I lived in a desolate country where there were none to praise And very few to love.A It is true that I now saw a little more of my aunt , but she was in every way an unsocial being ; and to a timid child she was as a plant beneath a thick covering of ice ; I should cut my hands in endeavouring to get at it .
I felt that this was insanity I sprang forward to throw it off ; I rushed into the midst of the crowd .
My garments were torn , and they , as well as my hands , were stained with the blood of the man I had wounded ; one hand grasped the dead birds my hard earned prey , the other held the knife ; my hair was matted ; my face besmeared with the same guilty signs that bore witness against me on the dripping instrument I clenched ; my whole appearance was haggard and squalid .
Rely , therefore , on your hopes ; and if these friends are good and amiable , do not despair . '
His vivacity , intelligence , and active spirit of benevolence , completed the conquest .
I lay for two months on the point of death ; my ravings , as I afterwards heard , were frightful ; I called myself the murderer of William , of Justine , and of Clerval .
Beneath the shades of night , and through the day , whose garish light displays our solitude , thou wilt still be at my side , and even Windsor will not be regretted . ''
Oh God help me Let him be alive It is all dark ; in my abject misery I demand no more : no hope , no good : only passion , and guilt , and horror ; but alive Alive My sensations choked me No tears fell yet I sobbed , and breathed short and hard ; one only thought possessed me , and I could only utter one word , that half screaming was perpetually on my lips ; Alive Alive I had taken the steward with me for he , much better than I , could make the requisite enquiries the poor old man could not restrain his tears as he saw my deep distress and knew the cause he sometimes uttered a few broken words of consolation : in moments like these the mistress and servant become in a manner equals and when I saw his old dim eyes wet with sympathizing tears ; his gray hair thinly scattered on an age wrinkled brow I thought oh if my father were as he is decrepid hoary then I should be spared this pain When I had arrived at the nearest town I took post horses and followed the road my father had taken .
That it would vanish altogether was an hope too dear too heartfelt , to be expressed .
Every one loved him ; no shadow of envy or hate cast even from the meanest mind ever fell upon him .
Swiftly I thought Yes , I will witness the last scene of the drama .
Idris stood at a window that over looked the park ; her maternal eyes sought her own children among the young crowd .
Do not again speak to me in this strain ; but wait in submissive patience the event of what is passing around you . '' `` Oh , yes '' I passionately replied , `` I will be very patient ; I will not be rash or presumptuous : I will see the agonies , and tears , and despair of my father , my only friend , my hope , my shelter , I will see it all with folded arms and downcast eyes .
Felix seemed peculiarly happy and with smiles of delight welcomed his Arabian .
Those who modestly betook themselves to the smaller craft , for the most part achieved their watery journey in safety .
`` Do you , '' said I , `` enjoy yourself , and let this be our rendezvous .
They are vain , I know ; how very vain in their attempt to soothe or comfort me .
The magistrate listened to me with attention and kindness .
In a thousand spots the traces of the winter avalanche may be perceived , where trees lie broken and strewed on the ground , some entirely destroyed , others bent , leaning upon the jutting rocks of the mountain or transversely upon other trees .
One by one they left her at length she pressed the hand of her last visitor .
I entreated Adrian to return to me after he had conducted his sister home .
I learned from your papers that you were my father , my creator ; and to whom could I apply with more fitness than to him who had given me life ?
My first thought was to discover what I knew of the murderer , and cause instant pursuit to be made .
Explanation You may possibly say , What can Elizabeth have to explain ?
Man You may hate , but beware Your hours will pass in dread and misery , and soon the bolt will fall which must ravish from you your happiness forever .
My future hopes and prospects are entirely bound up in the expectation of our union . ''
The sight of it soothed her .
I took it ; it was a portrait of a most lovely woman .
The idea was terrible to my half crazed imagination , and almost over turned the little self possession that still remained to me .
All this I endeavoured to veil , so that it might least impress my Idris ; yet , as I have said , my courage survived even despair : I might be vanquished , but I would not yield .
As I was in a state of extreme debility , I resolved to sail directly towards the town , as a place where I could most easily procure nourishment .
I persuaded Idris to go up to London , where she might better attend to necessary arrangements .
His wild and enthusiastic imagination was chastened by the sensibility of his heart .
`` Little alteration , except the growth of our dear children , has taken place since you left us .
In two years , I should return to my country , with a name well known and a reputation already founded .
We were for ever together ; and the subjects of our conversations were inexhaustible .
The birds sang in more cheerful notes , and the leaves began to bud forth on the trees .
They made many signs which I did not comprehend , but I saw that her presence diffused gladness through the cottage , dispelling their sorrow as the sun dissipates the morning mists .
Concerning the picture she could give no account .
And the same feelings which made me neglect the scenes around me caused me also to forget those friends who were so many miles absent , and whom I had not seen for so long a time .
Before dawn I led my flock to the sheep walks , and guarded them through the day .
So shall it not be Did not Alexander leap from the walls of the city of the Oxydracae , to shew his coward troops the way to victory , encountering alone the swords of its defenders ?
In these last moments I feel the sincerest gratitude towards those who think of me with kindness .
We marked the difference of character among the boys , and endeavoured to read the future man in the stripling .
August th , My affection for my guest increases every day .
`` He was conveyed home , and the anguish that was visible in my countenance betrayed the secret to Elizabeth .
But you are ill ; even now you tremble ; you are unfit for agitation of any kind . ''
I found that I could not compose a female without again devoting several months to profound study and laborious disquisition .
Thus I felt , when disappointment , weariness , and solitude drove me back upon my heart , to gather thence the joy of which it had become barren .
The little bark to which I had beckoned had now pulled up ; before I could stop her , Perdita , assisted by the sailors was in it Clara followed her mother a loud shout echoed from the crowd as we pulled out of the inner harbour ; while my sister at the prow , had caught hold of one of the men who was using a glass , asking a thousand questions , careless of the spray that broke over her , deaf , sightless to all , except the little speck that , just visible on the top of the waves , evidently neared .
The very memory half unmans me .
He became cheerful , as he thought of this , and soberly and resolutely marked out the line of conduct he would adopt .
Almost fainting I slowly approached the fatal waters ; when we had quitted the town we heard their roaring .
She resided at the palace of Sweet Waters , a summer seraglio of the Sultan ; the beauty of the surrounding scenery , undefiled by war , and the freshness of the river , made this spot doubly delightful .
The story is too connected to be mistaken for a dream , and I have no motive for falsehood . ''
A more intense feeling of the reality of fiction possessed Raymond .
It was your journal of the four months that preceded my creation .
He has journied on the road that leads to it , and joined the mighty of soul who went before him .
Weak spirited women died of fear as they listened to their denunciations ; men of robust form and seeming strength fell into idiotcy and madness , racked by the dread of coming eternity .
When she saw who it was , she approached me and said , `` Dear sir , you are very kind to visit me ; you , I hope , do not believe that I am guilty ? ''
I am malicious because I am miserable .
Two days after we came to our determination , we set out for Portsmouth , and embarked .
I rode one morning with Raymond to the lofty mound , not far from the Top Kapou , Cannon gate , on which Mahmoud planted his standard , and first saw the city .
You dare not keep me . ' `` 'Frankenstein you belong then to my enemy to him towards whom I have sworn eternal revenge ; you shall be my first victim . '
Her delicate organization and creative imagination rendered her peculiarly susceptible of pleasurable emotion .
I wait but for one event , and then I shall repose in peace .
I shut my eyes involuntarily and endeavoured to recollect what were my duties with regard to this destroyer .
After he had been employed thus about an hour , the young woman joined him and they entered the cottage together .
I sometimes strove to form friendships with the most attractive of the girls who inhabited the neighbouring village ; but I believe I should never have succeeded even had not my aunt interposed her authority to prevent all intercourse between me and the peasantry ; for she was fearful lest I should acquire the scotch accent and dialect ; a little of it I had , although great pains was taken that my tongue should not disgrace my English origin .
I am just come from him .
Raymond was weak and exhausted , yet the interest he perceived to be excited on his account , filled him with proud pleasure .
Farewell , Walton Seek happiness in tranquillity and avoid ambition , even if it be only the apparently innocent one of distinguishing yourself in science and discoveries .
There was too deep a horror in my tale for confidence ; I was on earth the sole depository of my own secret .
In another fortnight I was able to leave my chamber .
We shall not then be degraded from our true characters .
Hope only supported me , the hope that I should not be too late .
I do not ever remember to have trembled at a tale of superstition or to have feared the apparition of a spirit .
To this life , miserable father , I devote thee Go Be thy days passed with savages , and thy nights under the cope of heaven Be thy limbs worn and thy heart chilled , and all youth be dead within thee Let thy hairs be as snow ; thy walk trembling and thy voice have lost its mellow tones Let the liquid lustre of thine eyes be quenched ; and then return to me , return to thy Mathilda , thy child , who may then be clasped in thy loved arms , while thy heart beats with sinless emotion .
Let me not forget my chiefest errand here .
A practised ear might trace an undue faltering in the step of the soldiers ; but this was not occasioned so much by fear of the adversary , as by disease , by sorrow , and by fatal prognostications , which often weighed most potently on the brave , and quelled the manly heart to abject subjection .
`` Where ? '' `` Every where we must fly all fly but whither ?
Lord Raymond presented himself to the house with fearless confidence and insinuating address .
I had become captious and unreasonable : my temper was utterly spoilt .
A truce was concluded between the Greeks and Turks .
A great fall of snow had taken place the night before , and the fields were of one uniform white ; the appearance was disconsolate , and I found my feet chilled by the cold damp substance that covered the ground .
There is nothing more melancholy than a merry meeting thus turned to sorrow : the gala dresses the decorations , gay as they might otherwise be , receive a solemn and funereal appearance .
Alas I had turned loose into the world a depraved wretch , whose delight was in carnage and misery ; had he not murdered my brother ?
It was indeed a paradise compared to the bleak forest , my former residence , the rain dropping branches , and dank earth .
As the earth became more desolate , her difficulty in acquiring sustenance increased ; at first , her son , who lived near , had humoured her by placing articles of food in her way : at last he died .
I loved , I hoped , I enjoyed ; but there was something besides this .
A few words from us decided him , and hope and joy sparkled in his eyes ; the idea of embarking in a career , so congenial to his early habits and cherished wishes , made him as before energetic and bold .
Chapter `` Such was the history of my beloved cottagers .
Whence but from ingratitude , from falsehood , from a dereliction on the part of the prince 's father , of all noble sympathy and generous feeling .
When he went as ambassador to the Northern States of America , he , for some time , planned his entire migration ; and went so far as to make several journies far westward on that immense continent , for the purpose of choosing the site of his new abode .
Some few of her crew were saved , but the greater part clinging to her cordage and masts went down with her , to rise only when death loosened their hold .
Passionate desire of sympathy , and ardent pursuit for a wished for object still characterized me .
He departed the same day , and four days afterwards I received a letter from his steward telling me in his name to join him with as little delay as possible .
`` Your repentance , '' I said , `` is now superfluous .
We are all unhappy ; but will not that be an additional motive for you , my son , to return and be our comforter ?
The dead were carried out , and the sick brought in , with like indifference ; some were screaming with pain , others laughing from the influence of more terrible delirium ; some were attended by weeping , despairing relations , others called aloud with thrilling tenderness or reproach on the friends who had deserted them , while the nurses went from bed to bed , incarnate images of despair , neglect , and death .
Liberty , however , had been a useless gift to me , had I not , as I awakened to reason , at the same time awakened to revenge .
This enemy to the human race had begun early in June to raise its serpent head on the shores of the Nile ; parts of Asia , not usually subject to this evil , were infected .
The trees moved overhead , awakening nature 's favourite melody but the melancholy appearance of the choaked paths , and weed grown flower beds , dimmed even this gay summer scene .
To be a great and virtuous man appeared the highest honour that can befall a sensitive being ; to be base and vicious , as many on record have been , appeared the lowest degradation , a condition more abject than that of the blind mole or harmless worm .
But , extreme in all things , given up to immediate impressions , he entered with ardour into this new pursuit of pleasure , and followed up the incongruous intimacies occasioned by it without reflection or foresight .
His own mind was constitunially sic bent to a former belief in good rather than in evil and this feeling which must even exhilirate the hopeless ever shone forth in his words .
Diana had torn the veil which had before kept him in his boyhood : he was become a man and he was surprised how he could ever have joined in the cant words and ideas of his fellow collegiates or how for a moment he had feared the censure of such as these .
Raymond questioned vainly ; the mysterious Greek would say no more .
He was not materially hurt , a little fresh water soon recovered him .
When I slept or was absent , the forms of the venerable blind father , the gentle Agatha , and the excellent Felix flitted before me .
Your gentle nature would not permit you to hate your greatest enemy and though I be he , although I have rent happiness from your grasp ; though I have passed over your young love and hopes as the angel of destruction , finding beauty and joy , and leaving blight and despair , yet you will forgive me , and with eyes overflowing with tears I thank you ; my beloved one , I accept your pardon with a gratitude that will never die , and that will , indeed it will , outlive guilt and remorse .
Her affection for me , her brother , for Adrian and Idris , was subject as it were to the reigning passion of her heart ; even her maternal tenderness borrowed half its force from the delight she had in tracing Raymond 's features and expression in the infant 's countenance .
Clerval Beloved friend Even now it delights me to record your words and to dwell on the praise of which you are so eminently deserving .
As I was occupied in fixing the boat and arranging the sails , several people crowded towards the spot .
With apparent calmness she discussed with me the probable spot where he might be found , and planned the means we should use for that purpose .
Soon after the festival she had sent for her child , and then she seemed to have forgotten us .
Neither Adrian nor myself would have been so anxious , if our own success had depended on our exertions ; but we had egged our friend on to the enterprise , and it became us to ensure his triumph .
The talents and courage of Raymond were highly esteemed among the Greeks .
Jealousy and disquiet were unknown among us ; nor did a fear or hope of change ever disturb our tranquillity .
The young man was constantly employed out of doors , and the girl in various laborious occupations within .
Oh I must not be mad when I see him ; or perhaps it were as well that I should be , my distraction might calm his , and recall him to the endurance of life .
Awaken him , I entreat you , to some sense of duty . ''
Away with those blood stained arms , and hasten some of you to bind up these wounds . ''
`` And this pleases you ? ''
September th A scene has just passed of such uncommon interest that , although it is highly probable that these papers may never reach you , yet I can not forbear recording it .
During the early years of their union , the inequality of her temper , and yet unsubdued self will which tarnished her character , had been a slight drawback to the fulness of his sentiment .
This was the drama of my life which I have now depicted upon paper .
I had no horses she wrung her hands .
After a long pause of reflection I concluded that the justice due both to him and my fellow creatures demanded of me that I should comply with his request .
God made him to have dominion over the works of his hands , and put all things under his feet . ''
In vain I shewed him , that when winter came , the cold would dissipate the pestilential air , and restore courage to the Greeks .
The few weeks that I spent in London were the most miserable of my life : a great city is a frightful habitation to one sorrowing .
Let not England be so far disgraced , as to have it imagined that it can be without nobles , nature 's true nobility , who bear their patent in their mien , who are from their cradle elevated above the rest of their species , because they are better than the rest .
My father was expected at noon but when I wished to return to meet him I found that I had lost my way : it seemed that in every attempt to find it I only became more involved in the intracacies of the woods , and the trees hid all trace by which I might be guided .
I had already been out many hours and felt the torment of a burning thirst , a prelude to my other sufferings .
CHAPTER V. WHEN we arrived at Windsor , I found that Raymond and Perdita had departed for the continent .
I felt as if I had committed some great crime , the consciousness of which haunted me .
When they spoke of his probable death and certain captivity , tears streamed from their eyes ; even as the women of Syria sorrowed for Adonis , did the wives and mothers of Greece lament our English Raymond Athens was a city of mourning .
On the morning of the third day he informed me that he had determined to go to Yorkshire first alone , and that I should follow him in a fortnight unless I heard any thing from him in the mean time that should contradict this command .
Night also closed around ; and when I could hardly see the dark mountains , I felt still more gloomily .
It was a place fitted for such a work , being hardly more than a rock whose high sides were continually beaten upon by the waves .
You appeared as the deity of a lovely region , the ministering Angel of a Paradise to which of all human kind you admitted only me .
Who was better framed than this highly gifted youth to love and be beloved , and to reap unalienable joy from an unblamed passion ?
By a strange narrowness of ideas he viewed all the world in connexion only as it was or was not related to his little society .
I must stay till the next day ; or come back , after having reported the present state of things to the general .
I started up and beheld a radiant form rise from among the trees .
For a time music was able to satisfy the cravings of her mental hunger , and her melancholy thoughts renewed themselves in each change of key , and varied with every alteration in the strain .
On our arrival in London , we found that the aged Countess of Windsor was residing with her son in the palace of the Protectorate ; we repaired to our accustomed abode near Hyde Park .
Yet I own , that considering the task which Raymond had taken on himself as Protector of England , and the cares to which it became him to attend , I was exceedingly provoked to observe the worthless fellows on whom his time was wasted , and the jovial if not drunken spirit which seemed on the point of robbing him of his better self .
Felix rejected his offers with contempt , yet when he saw the lovely Safie , who was allowed to visit her father and who by her gestures expressed her lively gratitude , the youth could not help owning to his own mind that the captive possessed a treasure which would fully reward his toil and hazard .
When it became noon , and the sun rose higher , I lay down on the grass and was overpowered by a deep sleep .
The soul is expanded and drinks in quiet , a lulling medecine to me it was as the sight of the lovely water snakes to the bewitched mariner in loving and blessing Nature I unawares , called down a blessing on my own soul .
He appeared at one time a mere scion of the evil principle and at another as all that can be conceived of noble and godlike .
At such times solemn harmonies or spirit stirring airs gave wings to my lagging thoughts , permitting them , methought , to penetrate the last veil of nature and her God , and to display the highest beauty in visible expression to the understandings of men .
The presence of Safie diffused happiness among its inhabitants , and I also found that a greater degree of plenty reigned there .
What all my pretty chickens , and their dam , At one fell swoop A pang of tameless grief wrenched every heart , a burst of despair was echoed from every lip .
I passed a whole month in her chamber nursing her , but her disease was mortal and she died , leaving me for some time inconsolable , Death is so dreadful to the living ; the chains of habit are so strong even when affection does not link them that the heart must be agonized when they break .
Does it now only exist in my memory ?
The raising of ghosts or devils was a promise liberally accorded by my favourite authors , the fulfilment of which I most eagerly sought ; and if my incantations were always unsuccessful , I attributed the failure rather to my own inexperience and mistake than to a want of skill or fidelity in my instructors .
It was whispered that he had died of the plague .
The pang is over , his sufferings are at an end for ever .
He was induced to look with extreme disapprobation , and at last with distaste , on my father 's imprudence and follies .
Day , hateful to me , dawned ; I retreated to my lodgings I threw myself on a couch I slept was it sleep ?
The ground on which the battle was fought , was a level plain so level , that from the tumuli you saw the waving line of mountains on the wide stretched horizon ; yet the intervening space was unvaried by the least irregularity , save such undulations as resembled the waves of the sea .
The creaking of the masts , the clang of the wheels , the tramp above , all persuaded her that she was already far from the shores of Greece .
True , she looked forward to another life ; true , the burning spirit of love seemed to her unextinguishable throughout eternity .
About five in the morning I discovered my lovely boy , whom the night before I had seen blooming and active in health , stretched on the grass livid and motionless ; the print of the murder 's finger was on his neck .
Before the battle of Rodosto I was full of hope and spirit ; to conquer there , and afterwards to take Constantinople , was the hope , the bourne , the fulfilment of my ambition .
Now you have the experience of all that I can give , the heart 's devotion , taintless love , and unhesitating subjection to you .
I was harassed and ill , resolved not to give up my post , yet doubting in what way I should assert it ; when Adrian called me , and clasping my hand , bade me not leave him .
Let us go even where you will ; the love that accompanies us will prevent our regrets . ''
After all the agitation and sorrow I had endured in Greece , I sought Windsor , as the storm driven bird does the nest in which it may fold its wings in tranquillity .
After we had spent a few weeks in London his attentions towards me became marked and his visits more frequent .
It were no mighty leap methinks from Calais to Dover .
He who sat near Raymond was telling a story , which convulsed the rest with laughter .
While I watched the tempest , so beautiful yet terrific , I wandered on with a hasty step .
`` Pardon me , '' it said , `` for the uneasiness I have unavoidably given you : but while in that unhappy island , where every thing breathes her spirit whom I have lost for ever , a spell held me .
Sometimes it made me weep ; and at other times I repeated with transport those words , `` One day I may claim her at your hands . ''
She saw therefore no escape from dire penury : perpetual care , joined to sorrow for the loss of the wondrous being , whom she continued to contemplate with ardent admiration , hard labour , and naturally delicate health , at length released her from the sad continuity of want and misery .
This book had a far different effect upon me from the Sorrows of Werter .
Man can not repose , and his restless aspirations will now bring forth good instead of evil .
I am going to unexplored regions , to `` the land of mist and snow , '' but I shall kill no albatross ; therefore do not be alarmed for my safety or if I should come back to you as worn and woeful as the `` Ancient Mariner . ''
`` I thank you , Walton , '' he said , `` for your kind intentions towards so miserable a wretch ; but when you speak of new ties and fresh affections , think you that any can replace those who are gone ?
Mr. Kirwin charged himself with every care of collecting witnesses and arranging my defence .
Could he allude to an object on whom I dared not even think ?
`` The expression of your sentiments of this subject , my dear Victor , gives me more pleasure than I have for some time experienced .
On you it rests , whether I quit forever the neighbourhood of man and lead a harmless life , or become the scourge of your fellow creatures and the author of your own speedy ruin . ''
Since that period , whenever the world 's circumstance has not imperiously called me away , or the temper of my mind impeded such study , I have been employed in deciphering these sacred remains .
They retired and I turned towards my friend , but he was sunk in languor and almost deprived of life .
But in the detail which he gave you of them he could not sum up the hours and months of misery which I endured wasting in impotent passions .
He sent for medical assistance ; the hours passed , spun by suspense into ages ; the darkness of the long autumnal night yielded to day , before her life was secure .
But I was baffled in every attempt I made for this purpose .
Only assure me that your love and faith towards me have never been violated ; and suspicion , and doubt , and jealousy will at once be dispersed .
`` The old man , leaning on his son , walked each day at noon , when it did not rain , as I found it was called when the heavens poured forth its waters .
Not in the calm air or weltering ocean ; not in the woods or fertile fields , nor among the birds that made the woods resonant with song , nor the animals that in the midst of plenty basked in the sunshine .
A selfish pursuit had cramped and narrowed me , until your gentleness and affection warmed and opened my senses ; I became the same happy creature who , a few years ago , loved and beloved by all , had no sorrow or care .
We arrived at the town of in a little more than half an hour .
He returned home , full of mingled feelings , of pain excited by Evadne 's wretchedness , and pleasure at the prospect of relieving it .
And can I who for many years was fed by tears , and nourished under the dew of grief , can I pause to relate a tale of woe and death ?
He comforted her ; he instilled into her his own hopes and desires ; and soon her countenance beamed with sympathy .
Soon we returned to shore , and I endeavoured to obviate the impression made on the child 's mind , by treating Raymond 's fears lightly .
I believed in her innocence ; I knew it .
Chapter On my return , I found the following letter from my father : `` My dear Victor , `` You have probably waited impatiently for a letter to fix the date of your return to us ; and I was at first tempted to write only a few lines , merely mentioning the day on which I should expect you .
His stud of beautiful horses , his arms of costly workmanship , the praise that attended him , the adoration , ready servitor , high place and high esteem , I considered them as forcibly wrenched from me , and envied them all with novel and tormenting bitterness .
The offspring of the deepest love I displayed from my earliest years the greatest sensibility of disposition .
Several other men were examined concerning my landing , and they agreed that , with the strong north wind that had arisen during the night , it was very probable that I had beaten about for many hours and had been obliged to return nearly to the same spot from which I had departed .
If for a moment he shewed curiosity , my eyes fell , my voice died away and my evident suffering made him quickly endeavour to banish the ideas he had awakened ; yet he for ever mingled consolation in his talk , and tried to soften my despair by demonstrations of deep sympathy and compassion .
I lay at the bottom of the boat , and as I gazed on the cloudless blue sky , I seemed to drink in a tranquillity to which I had long been a stranger .
I could be found in no state of mind which I would not willingly have exchanged for nothingness .
The ascent is precipitous , but the path is cut into continual and short windings , which enable you to surmount the perpendicularity of the mountain .
`` And now , with the world before me , whither should I bend my steps ?
In rather a too philosophical and connected a strain , perhaps , I have given an account of the conclusions I had come to concerning them in my early years .
His skin , nearly black , his matted hair and bristly beard , were signs of a long protracted misery .
As grief might change Constance so would deceit change me untill in heaven you would say , `` This is not my child '' My father , to be happy both now and when again we meet I must fly from all this life which is mockery to one like me .
At length he opened his eyes ; he breathed with difficulty and was unable to speak .
`` I had rather be with you , '' he said , `` in your solitary rambles , than with these Scotch people , whom I do not know ; hasten , then , my dear friend , to return , that I may again feel myself somewhat at home , which I can not do in your absence . ''
Well , be it so ; a deadly struggle would then assuredly take place , in which if he were victorious I should be at peace and his power over me be at an end .
Hence there is less distinction between the several classes of its inhabitants ; and the lower orders , being neither so poor nor so despised , their manners are more refined and moral .
Idris had disappeared .
But in a city all is closed shut like a prison , a wiry prison from which you can peep at the sky only .
This event caused many of those who were about to sail , to put foot again on firm land , ready to encounter any evil rather than to rush into the yawning jaws of the pitiless ocean .
Elizabeth was sad and desponding ; she no longer took delight in her ordinary occupations ; all pleasure seemed to her sacrilege toward the dead ; eternal woe and tears she then thought was the just tribute she should pay to innocence so blasted and destroyed .
She would see Raymond , since destiny had led him to her , and her constancy and devotion must merit his friendship .
`` Here they are , '' he cried , `` beautiful creatures breathing , speaking , loving creatures .
I mentioned in my last letter the fears I entertained of a mutiny .
I believe that I have no enemy on earth , and none surely would have been so wicked as to destroy me wantonly .
Hear my tale ; it is long and strange , and the temperature of this place is not fitting to your fine sensations ; come to the hut upon the mountain .
Were we among the tamer scenes of nature I might fear to encounter your unbelief , perhaps your ridicule ; but many things will appear possible in these wild and mysterious regions which would provoke the laughter of those unacquainted with the ever varied powers of nature ; nor can I doubt but that my tale conveys in its series internal evidence of the truth of the events of which it is composed . ''
About half a dozen men came forward ; and , one being selected by the magistrate , he deposed that he had been out fishing the night before with his son and brother in law , Daniel Nugent , when , about ten o'clock , they observed a strong northerly blast rising , and they accordingly put in for port .
He is always successful , and bids fair , at the same time that he acquires high name and station for himself , to secure liberty , probably extended empire , to the Greeks . ''
The poor wretch had lost his young wife and lovely infant by the plague .
It was painful to appear to drag her from the last scene that spoke of her lost one ; but to linger here was vain , and my very soul was sick with its yearning to rejoin my Idris and her babes .
Perdita and her child were to remain at Kishan .
I shall depart for the latter town in a fortnight or three weeks ; and my intention is to hire a ship there , which can easily be done by paying the insurance for the owner , and to engage as many sailors as I think necessary among those who are accustomed to the whale fishing .
His relations of their manners , his anecdotes and descriptions of scenery whiled away delicious hours , when we were tired of talking of our own plans of future life .
`` The government of France were greatly enraged at the escape of their victim and spared no pains to detect and punish his deliverer .
In the sunny clime of Persia , in the crowded cities of China , amidst the aromatic groves of Cashmere , and along the southern shores of the Mediterranean , such scenes had place .
Once however I witnessed a scene of singular interest at one of the theatres , where nature overpowered art , as an overflowing cataract will tear away the puny manufacture of a mock cascade , which had before been fed by a small portion of its waters .
I can not describe the delight I felt when I learned the ideas appropriated to each of these sounds and was able to pronounce them .
He spoke with outstretched hand and winning voice , and then turning to our invaders , with a severe brow , he commanded them to lay down their arms : `` Do you think , '' he said , `` that because we are wasted by plague , you can overcome us ; the plague is also among you , and when ye are vanquished by famine and disease , the ghosts of those you have murdered will arise to bid you not hope in death .
Never will I give up my search until he or I perish ; and then with what ecstasy shall I join my Elizabeth and my departed friends , who even now prepare for me the reward of my tedious toil and horrible pilgrimage As I still pursued my journey to the northward , the snows thickened and the cold increased in a degree almost too severe to support .
I rely on her innocence as certainly as I do upon my own .
Yet I smile , and sometimes I speak almost forgetful of the change I have endured .
Such as he had now become , such as was his terrene vesture , defaced and spoiled , we wrapt it in our cloaks , and lifting the burthen in our arms , bore it from this city of the dead .
The solitude became intolerable I placed my hand on the beating heart of Idris , I bent my head to catch the sound of her breath , to assure myself that she still existed for a moment I doubted whether I should not awake her ; so effeminate an horror ran through my frame .
Follow me ; I seek the everlasting ices of the north , where you will feel the misery of cold and frost , to which I am impassive .
You will not be dishonoured by my society , and as this is probably the last service , or disservice you can do me , will you grant my request ? ''
Their only merit in my eyes was that they were his . ''
`` The volume of Plutarch 's Lives which I possessed contained the histories of the first founders of the ancient republics .
We are ready to expose our breasts , exposed ten thousand times before , to the balls and scymetars of the infidels , and to fall gloriously for Greece .
He continued , `` You must create a female for me with whom I can live in the interchange of those sympathies necessary for my being .
We both agreed in loving Adrian : although she not having yet escaped from childhood could not appreciate as I did the extent of his merits , or feel the same sympathy in his pursuits and opinions .
You will weep but they will be tears of gentleness .
Chapter From this day natural philosophy , and particularly chemistry , in the most comprehensive sense of the term , became nearly my sole occupation .
I remained two days at Lausanne , in this painful state of mind .
I resolved therefore to go from village to village , seeking out the rustic archon of the place , and by systematizing their exertions , and enlightening their views , encrease both their power and their use among their fellow cottagers .
I know not whether the fiend possessed the same advantages , but I found that , as before I had daily lost ground in the pursuit , I now gained on him , so much so that when I first saw the ocean he was but one day 's journey in advance , and I hoped to intercept him before he should reach the beach .
Last Monday July st we were nearly surrounded by ice , which closed in the ship on all sides , scarcely leaving her the sea room in which she floated .
I was admitted within that sacred boundary which divides the intellectual and moral nature of man from that which characterizes animals .
What do you intend to do ? '' `` To go instantly to Geneva : come with me , Henry , to order the horses . ''
Would he never overcome the fierce passion that now held pityless dominion over him ?
This picture is gone , and was doubtless the temptation which urged the murderer to the deed .
Brooding over this plan , resolved when the hour should come , to propose , and insist upon its accomplishment , secure of his consent , the heart of Perdita was lightened , or rather exalted .
He asserted , that each individual under the English monarchy , was then as now , capable of attaining high rank and power with one only exception , that of the function of chief magistrate ; higher and nobler rank , than a bartering , timorous commonwealth could afford .
He had been ready once with the humility of a penitent , and the duty of a vassal , to surrender himself to her ; giving up his very soul to her tutelage , to become her pupil , her slave , her bondsman .
Let your compassion be moved , and do not disdain me .
He threatened excommunication and hell fire in my last moments if I continued obdurate .
We had scarcely visited the various lakes of Cumberland and Westmorland and conceived an affection for some of the inhabitants when the period of our appointment with our Scotch friend approached , and we left them to travel on .
He found a relief to his impatient grief in the breezes of heaven and in the sound of waters and woods .
I will see you to morrow ; in the meantime , adieu '' She rose , and walked from the room ; but pausing at the door , and leaning against it , as if her over busy thoughts had taken from her the power of supporting herself , she said , `` Lord Raymond will probably return .
Deeds of heroism also occurred , whose very mention swells the heart and brings tears into the eyes .
She would not consent to this proposition , but as soon as she had arranged the affairs which her brother 's departure had caused to fall to her care , she quitted England and took me with her to her scotch estate .
He knew that this accusation at least was false .
When mankind were few , it was not here that they battled with the powerful agents of nature , and were enabled to cover the globe with offspring .
I felt also sentiments of joy and affection revive in my bosom ; my gloom disappeared , and in a short time I became as cheerful as before I was attacked by the fatal passion .
`` You need not wonder that I freely discover Adrian 's abode .
It advanced ; the heavens were clouded , and I soon felt the rain coming slowly in large drops , but its violence quickly increased .
Take the Protectorship who will ; before God I renounce it '' `` And before God , '' replied his opponent , fervently , `` do I receive it No one will canvass for this honour now none envy my danger or labours .
One word I might speak and then you would be implicated in my destruction ; yet that word is hovering on my lips .
Strange ambition this Yet such was Adrian .
Lord Raymond was never born to be a drone in the hive , and to find content in our pastoral life .
As the minuteness of the parts formed a great hindrance to my speed , I resolved , contrary to my first intention , to make the being of a gigantic stature , that is to say , about eight feet in height , and proportionably large .
They were dead , and I lived ; their murderer also lived , and to destroy him I must drag out my weary existence .
We had for many years trod the highway of life hand in hand , and still thus linked , we might step within the shades of death ; but her children , her lovely , playful , animated children beings sprung from her own dear side portions of her own being depositories of our loves even if we died , it would be comfort to know that they ran man 's accustomed course .
Farewell to the sea Come , my Clara , sit beside me in this aerial bark ; quickly and gently it cleaves the azure serene , and with soft undulation glides upon the current of the air ; or , if storm shake its fragile mechanism , the green earth is below ; we can descend , and take shelter on the stable continent .
The sunset and the gentle moon , the blessed motion of the leaves and the murmuring of waters are all sweet physicians to a distempered mind .
Lord Byron 's Fourth Canto of Childe Harolde .
Nor did this seem extravagant .
To these pangs were added the loss of Perdita , lost through my own accursed self will and conceit .
Because I was mountain bred , unallied to the noble and wealthy , shall he think to repay me by an empty name and station ?
He plucks flowers and weeds , and weaves chaplets of them , or sails yellow leaves and bits of bark on the stream , rejoicing in their safety , or weeping at their wreck .
Lay down your arms , fellow men brethren Pardon , succour , and brotherly love await your repentance .
But neither the presence of her child , nor a subsequent visit from me , could rouse my sister .
`` No , Justine , '' said Elizabeth ; `` he is more convinced of your innocence than I was , for even when he heard that you had confessed , he did not credit it . ''
When I left them they had tormented me but it was in the same way as pain and sickness may torment ; somthing extraneous to the mind that galled it , and that I wished to cast aside .
One paternal kind precaution he had taken to ensure my having a companion .
At the turn of morning a gentle sigh from the patient attracted me , the burning spot on his cheek faded his pulse beat softly and regularly torpor yielded to sleep .
I was sought after therefore with less care than would otherwise have been the case ; and soon all trace and memory of me was lost .
My heart was fashioned to be susceptible of love and sympathy , and when wrenched by misery to vice and hatred , it did not endure the violence of the change without torture such as you can not even imagine .
He deserved it all all labour , all devotion , all sacrifice ; I would have toiled up a scaleless Alp , to pluck a flower that would please him .
But now , in the midst of the dying and the dead , how could a thought of heaven or a sensation of tranquillity possess one of the murderers ?
But , O , Lionel a kingdom is a word of might , and gently sounding are the terms that compose the style of royalty .
Clara was greatly moved ; with streaming eyes , suppressing her sobs , she leaned from the window , watching the last glimpse of her native Windsor .
He is eloquent and persuasive , and once his words had even power over my heart ; but trust him not .
My father was not scientific , and I was left to struggle with a child 's blindness , added to a student 's thirst for knowledge .
`` Yet , '' replied I , `` nature always presents to our eyes the appearance of a patient : while there is an active principle in man which is capable of ruling fortune , and at least of tacking against the gale , till it in some mode conquers it . ''
Take possession of your tenement and let me fly from this place . '
The guides pointed to the reflection of their torches on the water that paved it , leaving us to form our own conclusion ; but adding it was a pity , for it led to the Sibyl 's Cave .
These were the feelings of an old , faithful servant : what must be those of an affectionate daughter .
In an evil hour I subscribed to a lie ; and now only am I truly miserable . ''
He bent his keen eyes upon me , and my uncontrollable heart swelled in my bosom .
With the advance of summer , and the increase of the distemper , rents were unpaid , and their remittances failed them .
She had at the beginning of the season quitted the vacant city of Vienna ; and , unable to tame her haughty mind to anything like submission , she had delayed at Hamburgh , and , when at last she came to London , many weeks elapsed before she gave Adrian notice of her arrival .
But I disdained the artifice ; or rather in my wretchedness it was my only consolation to pour out my heart to you , my brother , my only friend .
When I was thirteen years of age we all went on a party of pleasure to the baths near Thonon ; the inclemency of the weather obliged us to remain a day confined to the inn .
I often said to myself , my father is dead .
All obeyed the Lord Protector of dying England ; all looked up to him .
Harmony was the soul of our companionship , and the diversity and contrast that subsisted in our characters drew us nearer together .
I bent over the body , and took in my hand the edge of his cloak , less altered in appearance than the human frame it clothed .
The picture I present to you is peaceful and human , and you must feel that you could deny it only in the wantonness of power and cruelty .
I had my glass with me .
Go you before break of day , bear these dispatches to Karazza , add to them your own entreaties that he send me his marines and naval force ; if I can get but one regiment to second me , the rest would follow of course .
During the five years we had spent together , a knot of happy human beings at Windsor Castle , her blissful lot had been the frequent theme of my sister 's conversation .
The next step was to induce Raymond to confess his secret wishes for dignity and fame .
I could not fail to perceive this change .
they , the good , the wise , and the beloved , are gone before .
Begone I have answered you ; you may torture me , but I will never consent . ''
My first visit would be to my sister , who inhabited a little cottage , a part of Adrian 's gift , on the borders of Windsor Forest .
I can not follow ; for I do not sympathize in their dreams of massacre and glory to follow and to lead in such a career , is the natural bent of Raymond 's mind .
Winter passed away ; and spring , led by the months , awakened life in all nature .
`` Be assured , sir , '' said he , `` no pains or exertions on my part shall be spared to discover the villain . ''
You will not follow me , for when I bannish myself would you nourish guilt by obtruding yourself upon me ?
To me he discoursed ceaselessly of his beloved Ionian .
She moved again , and I fled .
I resolved , at least , not to despair , but in every way to fit myself for an interview with them which would decide my fate .
I walked with a quick pace , and we soon arrived at my college .
The forms of the beloved dead flit before me , and I hasten to their arms .
The sea was gently agitated , now shewing a white crest , and now resuming an uniform hue ; the clouds had disappeared ; and dark ether clipt the broad ocean , in which the constellations vainly sought their accustomed mirror .
It advanced from behind the mountains of Jura , and the thunder burst at once with frightful loudness from various quarters of the heavens .
No ; shed a few natural tears due to my memory : and if you ever visit my grave , pluck from thence a flower , and lay it to your heart ; for your heart is the only tomb in which my memory will be enterred .
The fibres of his frame became relaxed , and cold dew stood on his forehead , at this idea .
After his motion had been seconded , Lord Raymond rose , his countenance bland , his voice softly melodious , his manner soothing , his grace and sweetness came like the mild breathing of a flute , after the loud , organ like voice of his adversary .
In the morning the custom house officers , together with a crowd of idlers , visited her .
If Idris became thin and pale , it was anxiety that occasioned the change ; an anxiety I could in no way alleviate .
Their numbers ably arranged ; the very deaths among them concealed ; moving on in good order , and apparently given up to enjoyment , they excited the envy of the Irish .
But still do I flatter myself that this would have passed away .
She obtained an hearing , he sat in haughty silence , but he listened .
The tears and agitation of my poor sister had rendered her unfit to return to the circle we had left so I persuaded her to let me drive her through the park ; and , during the ride , I induced her to confide the tale of her unhappiness to me , fancying that talking of it would lighten the burthen , and certain that , if there were a remedy , it should be found and secured to her .
I would have made a pilgrimage to the highest peak of the Andes , could I when there have precipitated him to their base .
I have often attributed my attachment to , my passionate enthusiasm for , the dangerous mysteries of ocean to that production of the most imaginative of modern poets .
In doing this , I underwent a kind of rough usage , ill befitting the wounds that my mind had sustained .
Does not Lord Bacon say that , 'the falling from a discord to a concord , which maketh great sweetness in music , hath an agreement with the affections , which are re integrated to the better after some dislikes ? '
That heart sinking feeling was painted in her sunk eyes and spiritless attitude ; a cloud was on her beauty , and frequent sighs were tokens of her distress .
The experience of immemorial time had taught us formerly to count our enjoyments by years , and extend our prospect of life through a lengthened period of progression and decay ; the long road threaded a vast labyrinth , and the Valley of the Shadow of Death , in which it terminated , was hid by intervening objects .
As I approached the latter , she seized my hand , and drew me into another apartment ; she threw herself into my arms , and wept and sobbed bitterly and long .
He seemed insensible to the presence of any one else , but if , as a trial to awaken his sensibility , my aunt brought me into the room he would instantly rush out with every symptom of fury and distraction .
Once I falsely hoped to meet with beings who , pardoning my outward form , would love me for the excellent qualities which I was capable of unfolding .
But the feelings that actuated Evadne were rooted in the depths of her being , and were such in their growth as he had no means of understanding .
But my chief delights were the sight of the flowers , the birds , and all the gay apparel of summer ; when those deserted me , I turned with more attention towards the cottagers .
But it is your happiness I desire as well as my own when I declare to you that our marriage would render me eternally miserable unless it were the dictate of your own free choice .
I had heard of some discoveries having been made by an English philosopher , the knowledge of which was material to my success , and I sometimes thought of obtaining my father 's consent to visit England for this purpose ; but I clung to every pretence of delay and shrank from taking the first step in an undertaking whose immediate necessity began to appear less absolute to me .
Thus coming nearer and nearer each other , the howls and shouts of the Irish increased ; the English proceeded in obedience to their officers , until they came near enough to distinguish the faces of their enemies ; the sight inspired them with fury : with one cry , that rent heaven and was re echoed by the furthest lines , they rushed on ; they disdained the use of the bullet , but with fixed bayonet dashed among the opposing foe , while the ranks opening at intervals , the matchmen lighted the cannon , whose deafening roar and blinding smoke filled up the horror of the scene .
Of one only fault he might have been accused ; but his death has cancelled that .
I heard of the discovery of the American hemisphere and wept with Safie over the hapless fate of its original inhabitants .
`` And do you also believe that I am so very , very wicked ?
One clenched hand contained a slip of paper , on which was written , `` To Athens . ''
Our little voyages of discovery were often prolonged by the successive objects that presented themselves .
Having paid his debts , therefore , in the most honourable manner , he retreated with his daughter to the town of Lucerne , where he lived unknown and in wretchedness .
At length the king was brought to see in him a source of perpetual disquiet , knowing that he should pay for the short lived pleasure of his society by tedious homilies , and more painful narrations of excesses , the truth of which he could not disprove .
Where was pain and evil ?
Remember me with affection , should you never hear from me again .
Her subsequent conduct did not diminish this interest .
`` Certainly , '' replied the ex queen , with bitter scorn , `` his love , and her love , and both their childish flutterings , are to be put in fit comparison with my years of hope and anxiety , with the duties of the offspring of kings , with the high and dignified conduct which one of her descent ought to pursue .
He also gave me the list of books which I had requested , and I took my leave .
Time had altered her since I last beheld her ; it had endowed her with loveliness surpassing the beauty of her childish years .
The first sight of this place for a time unhinged her .
I replied , however , that we were on a voyage of discovery towards the northern pole .
`` A few months ago , '' he continued , `` I was thought to be dying ; but life was strong within me .
`` I discovered also another means through which I was enabled to assist their labours .
She never for a moment lost sight of her children .
The fields had been left uncultivated , weeds and gaudy flowers sprung up , or where a few wheat fields shewed signs of the living hopes of the husbandman , the work had been left halfway , the ploughman had died beside the plough ; the horses had deserted the furrow , and no seedsman had approached the dead ; the cattle unattended wandered over the fields and through the lanes ; the tame inhabitants of the poultry yard , baulked of their daily food , had become wild young lambs were dropt in flower gardens , and the cow stalled in the hall of pleasure .
She would sit apart from us and watch him ; she would weep for joy to think that he was hers .
It may easily be imagined that I wearied myself with conjecture to guess the cause of his sorrow .
I might tell it to the winds and to the desart heaths but I must never among my fellow creatures , either by word or look give allowance to the smallest conjecture of the dread reality : I must shrink before the eye of man lest he should read my father 's guilt in my glazed eyes : I must be silent lest my faltering voice should betray unimagined horrors .
It was pleasant to see the haughty Raymond and reserved Perdita changed through happy love into prattling , playful children , both losing their characteristic dignity in the fulness of mutual contentment .
She did not complain ; in her brother 's court she would find , not compensation for their disobedience filial unkindness admitted of none , but such a state of things and mode of life , as might best reconcile her to her fate .
As night came on , her spirits , enlivened by my unexpected concession , regained an almost forgotten vivacity .
They opened each other 's letters , even as , until now , the inmost fold of the heart of each was disclosed to the other .
I feared no man , and loved none .
Sometimes Woodville talked to me of himself .
I am poor and an exile , but it will afford me true pleasure to be in any way serviceable to a human creature . '
My education was neglected , yet I was passionately fond of reading .
His heart was simple like a child , unstained by arrogance or vanity .
My sister and I were left truly like two fools , who fancied that they had obtained a golden treasure , till daylight shewed it to be lead two silly , luckless flies , who had played in sunbeams and were caught in a spider 's web .
She continued with her foster parents and bloomed in their rude abode , fairer than a garden rose among dark leaved brambles .
The new elections were finished ; parliament met , and Raymond was occupied in a thousand beneficial schemes .
I am surrounded by mountains of ice which admit of no escape and threaten every moment to crush my vessel .
It was not in my nature to derive consolation from such scenes ; from theatres , whose buffoon laughter and discordant mirth awakened distempered sympathy , or where fictitious tears and wailings mocked the heart felt grief within ; from festival or crowded meeting , where hilarity sprung from the worst feelings of our nature , or such enthralment of the better ones , as impressed it with garish and false varnish ; from assemblies of mourners in the guise of revellers .
The path to it had been enlarged , and steps hewn in the rock led us less circuitously than before , to the spot itself ; the platform on which the pyramid stood was enlarged , and looking towards the south , in a recess overshadowed by the straggling branches of a wild fig tree , I saw foundations dug , and props and rafters fixed , evidently the commencement of a cottage ; standing on its unfinished threshold , the tomb was at our right hand , the whole ravine , and plain , and azure sea immediately before us ; the dark rocks received a glow from the descending sun , which glanced along the cultivated valley , and dyed in purple and orange the placid waves ; we sat on a rocky elevation , and I gazed with rapture on the beauteous panorama of living and changeful colours , which varied and enhanced the graces of earth and ocean .
He was naturally frank ; the continued absence of Perdita and myself became remarkable ; and Raymond soon found relief from the constraint of months , by an unreserved confidence with his two friends .
She hesitated some time , but at length she formed her determination .
I walked and , I believe , descended , but I presently found a great alteration in my sensations .
The king lamented his absence ; he loved to repeat his sayings , relate the adventures they had had together , and exalt his talents but here ended his reminiscence .
Am I not shunned and hated by all mankind ?
Some from among the family of man must survive , and these should be among the survivors ; that should be my task to accomplish it my own life were a small sacrifice .
As I spoke , rage sparkled in my eyes ; the magistrate was intimidated .
But when he entered , misery and despair alone welcomed him .
I swear to you , by the earth which I inhabit , and by you that made me , that with the companion you bestow I will quit the neighbourhood of man and dwell , as it may chance , in the most savage of places .
All resort for ambition or pleasure was cut off the streets were grass grown the houses empty the few , that from necessity remained , seemed already branded with the taint of inevitable pestilence .
Philosophers opposed their principles , as barriers to the inundation of profligacy or despair , and the only ramparts to protect the invaded territory of human life ; the religious , hoping now for their reward , clung fast to their creeds , as the rafts and planks which over the tempest vexed sea of suffering , would bear them in safety to the harbour of the Unknown Continent .
The streets were blocked up , the ruins smoking ; I climbed up one heap , only to view others in succession ; and nothing told me where the centre of the town might be , or towards what point Raymond might have directed his course .
I knew this , but at other times I was unreasonable and laid the blame upon him , who was most blameless , and pevishly thought that if his gentle soul were more gentle , if his intense sympathy were more intense , he could drive the fiend from my soul and make me more human .
The nearer I approached to your habitation , the more deeply did I feel the spirit of revenge enkindled in my heart .
I saw his astronomical instruments put to strange uses , his globes defaced , his papers covered with abstruse calculations destroyed .
That name has so often been degraded that it will not convey the idea of all that he was .
The leaves of that year had withered before my work drew near to a close , and now every day showed me more plainly how well I had succeeded .
One or two stiff gales and the springing of a leak are accidents which experienced navigators scarcely remember to record , and I shall be well content if nothing worse happen to us during our voyage .
Large estates were secured to the dethroned monarch and his family ; he received the title of Earl of Windsor , and Windsor Castle , an ancient royalty , with its wide demesnes were a part of his allotted wealth .
But the overflowing misery I now felt , and the excess of agitation that I endured rendered me incapable of any exertion .
How I have lived I hardly know ; many times have I stretched my failing limbs upon the sandy plain and prayed for death .
My father still desired to delay our departure , fearful that I could not sustain the fatigues of a journey , for I was a shattered wreck the shadow of a human being .
Look into the mind of man , where wisdom reigns enthroned ; where imagination , the painter , sits , with his pencil dipt in hues lovelier than those of sunset , adorning familiar life with glowing tints .
Quitting the Seven Towers , I rode eastward towards the Sweet Waters .
Do not suppose that I am wicked or foolish enough to found my purposed sovereignty on a fraud , and one so easily discovered as the truth or falsehood of the Earl 's insanity .
My aunt observed this , and when Justine was twelve years of age , prevailed on her mother to allow her to live at our house .
Trade was stopped by the failure of the interchange of cargoes usual between us , and America , India , Egypt and Greece .
Clerval eagerly desired to accept this invitation , and I , although I abhorred society , wished to view again mountains and streams and all the wondrous works with which Nature adorns her chosen dwelling places .
The difference of manners which he observed was to him an inexhaustible source of instruction and amusement .
After many fruitless attempts to gain admittance to the prison , he found a strongly grated window in an unguarded part of the building , which lighted the dungeon of the unfortunate Muhammadan , who , loaded with chains , waited in despair the execution of the barbarous sentence .
His person was short but remarkably erect and his voice the sweetest I had ever heard .
In life I dared not ; in death I unveil the mystery .
The thatch had fallen in , the walls were unplastered , and the door was off its hinges .
Everything favoured my journey .
I had commenced my search late in the day , a November day , that closed in early with pattering rain and melancholy wind .
He requested me in the meantime to ride through the camp , and to observe and report to him the dispositions of the soldiers ; he then left me .
There I shrunk and fled from him , now I only wished to be with him that I might soothe him to peace .
The winter has been dreadfully severe , but the spring promises well , and it is considered as a remarkably early season , so that perhaps I may sail sooner than I expected .
When I appeared , she turned away , and in reply to my enquiries , only said , `` You know not what you have done '' I trusted that this sullenness betokened merely the struggle between disappointment and natural affection , and that in a few days she would be reconciled to her fate .
Experience demonstrated that in a year or two pestilence would cease ; it were well that in the mean time we should not have destroyed our fine breeds of horses , or have utterly changed the face of the ornamented portion of the country .
You purpose to kill me .
For her children 's sake alone she consented to remain , shorn of regality , a member of the English republic .
How very dear she was to Perdita In progress of time , I also became a father , and our little darlings , our playthings and delights , called forth a thousand new and delicious feelings .
Why should our dwelling place be so lovely , and why should the instincts of nature minister pleasurable sensations ?
I was trembling and my pillow was wet with my tears ; for a few moments my heart beat hard , but the bright beams of the sun and the chirping of the birds quickly restored me to myself , and I rose with a languid spirit , yet wondering what events the day would bring forth .
For a moment she thought that she could stem the torrent , and that Raymond could be induced to hear reason from her . Vain hope The moment of her influence was passed .
One star only trembled in the depth of the kindling atmosphere .
`` That is also my victim '' he exclaimed .
Even the poor deer , our antlered proteges , were obliged to fall for the sake of worthier pensioners .
My view was bounded only by the horizon except on one side where a distant wood made a black spot on the heath , that every where else stretched out its faint hues as far as the eye could reach , wide and very desolate .
I saw this smile fade for ever .
It was not long since I was like one of these beardless aspirants ; when my boy shall have obtained the place I now hold , I shall have tottered into a grey headed , wrinkled old man .
How would such a friend repair the faults of your poor brother I am too ardent in execution and too impatient of difficulties .
`` Let this last but twelve months , '' said Adrian ; `` and earth will become a Paradise .
I confess to you , my friend , that I love you and that in my airy dreams of futurity you have been my constant friend and companion .
Nor , strange to say , was the time without its pleasures .
It was on a clear morning , in the latter days of December , that I first saw the white cliffs of Britain .
The day of my departure at length arrived .
His property was confiscated ; his child became an orphan and a beggar .
My attention was fixed upon every object the most insupportable to the delicacy of the human feelings .
Beside which , his mien conquered me , and an affectionate sentiment towards him , again filled my heart I bade him command me .
Now also that our children gave us occupation , we found excuses for our idleness , in the idea of bringing them up to a more splendid career .
She afterwards continued her work , whilst the young man went into the garden and appeared busily employed in digging and pulling up roots .
God , in pity , made man beautiful and alluring , after his own image ; but my form is a filthy type of yours , more horrid even from the very resemblance .
We , the Arcadian shepherds of the tale , had intended to be present at this festivity , but Perdita wrote to entreat us not to come , or to absent ourselves from Windsor ; for she though she did not reveal her scheme to us resolved the next morning to return with Raymond to our dear circle , there to renew a course of life in which she had found entire felicity .
The summer months passed while I was thus engaged , heart and soul , in one pursuit .
It was not splintered by the shock , but entirely reduced to thin ribbons of wood .
The Cenci The Brides ' Tragedy , by T. L. Beddoes , Esq .
The sadness with which the former had first heard that the plague was in London had vanished ; the energy of his purpose informed his body with strength , the solemn joy of enthusiasm and self devotion illuminated his countenance ; and the weakness of his physical nature seemed to pass from him , as the cloud of humanity did , in the ancient fable , from the divine lover of Semele .
While I listened to the instructions which Felix bestowed upon the Arabian , the strange system of human society was explained to me .
`` I expected this , '' cried Perdita ; `` I supposed that you would treat me as a mad , foolish girl .
His tale and the feelings he now expressed proved him to be a creature of fine sensations , and did I not as his maker owe him all the portion of happiness that it was in my power to bestow ?
We lie down , and close our eyes with a gentle good night , and when we wake , we are free .
Yet , to the honour of the English be it recorded , that , although natural disinclination made them delay awhile , yet when the misery of their fellow creatures became glaring , an enthusiastic generosity inspired their decrees .
You must choose between these and your protectorate .
We were surely sufficiently degraded .
My voice , although harsh , had nothing terrible in it ; I thought , therefore , that if in the absence of his children I could gain the good will and mediation of the old De Lacey , I might by his means be tolerated by my younger protectors .
More than a third of the members ranged themselves under Raymond , and their number was perpetually encreasing .
But I did not believe my errors to be irretrievable , and after much consideration I resolved to return to the cottage , seek the old man , and by my representations win him to my party .
`` But how was I to direct myself ?
Nothing could be more complete than the alteration that had taken place in my feelings since the night of the appearance of the daemon .
It appeared to me sacrilege so soon to leave the repose , akin to death , of the house of mourning and to rush into the thick of life .
`` One day , when the sun shone on the red leaves that strewed the ground and diffused cheerfulness , although it denied warmth , Safie , Agatha , and Felix departed on a long country walk , and the old man , at his own desire , was left alone in the cottage .
In this state I was carried back and placed on a bed , hardly conscious of what had happened ; my eyes wandered round the room as if to seek something that I had lost .
`` 'How can I thank you , my best and only benefactor ?
They seemed much surprised at my appearance , but instead of offering me any assistance , whispered together with gestures that at any other time might have produced in me a slight sensation of alarm .
But reflection returned with health .
You will wonder then , as I do , at the extent of his accomplishments , and the brilliancy of his talents . ''
We need houses to protect us from the seasons , and behold the materials with which we are provided ; the growth of trees with their adornment of leaves ; while rocks of stone piled above the plains variegate the prospect with their pleasant irregularity .
The question arose as to where we should deposit him .
They arrived at the age when they were sent to fulfil their destined situations in life ; while I , an outcast , with none to lead or drive me forward , paused .
When he was nineteen his mother died .
Soon after , when he was alone with me , he said , `` I have , doubtless , excited your curiosity , as well as that of these good people ; but you are too considerate to make inquiries . ''
Even Perdita was unable to understand me .
During our ride up to town , Adrian and I discussed and argued upon Raymond 's conduct , and his falling off from the hopes of permanent excellence on his part , which he had before given us cause to entertain .
I contemplated the lake : the waters were placid ; all around was calm ; and the snowy mountains , 'the palaces of nature , ' were not changed .
And I dare enforce this request by relating how miserably I was betrayed into this net of fiery anguish and all my struggles to release myself : indeed if your soul were less pure and bright I would not attempt to exculpate myself to you ; I should fear that if I led you to regard me with less abhorrence you might hate vice less : but in addressing you I feel as if I appealed to an angelic judge .
The one he had acquired in Greece ; the other he had sacrificed to love .
It were madness to calculate upon another winter .
By a strange fatality Juliet alone escaped , and she to the last waited on her relatives , and smoothed the pillow of death .
Raymond had spoken , thoughtless of her presence , and she , poor child , heard with terror and faith the prophecy of his death .
My wanderings were directed towards the valley of Chamounix .
I will be cool , persevering , and prudent .
At fourteen and fifteen I often thought that the time was come when I should commence my pilgrimage , which I had cheated my own mind into believing was my imperious duty : but a reluctance to quit my Aunt ; a remorse for the grief which , I could not conceal from myself , I should occasion her for ever withheld me .
I dared not die , but I might feign death , and thus escape from my comforters : they will believe me united to my father , and so indeed I shall be .
Through this work I obtained a cursory knowledge of history and a view of the several empires at present existing in the world ; it gave me an insight into the manners , governments , and religions of the different nations of the earth .
We ascended into my room , and the servant presently brought breakfast ; but I was unable to contain myself .
Justine , poor , good Justine , is innocent . ''
You dream that you can restore him ?
Go , Devoted One , and return thus This is my curse , a daughter 's curse : go , and return pure to thy child , who will never love aught but thee .
Fortunately , as I spoke my native language , Mr. Kirwin alone understood me ; but my gestures and bitter cries were sufficient to affright the other witnesses .
Happiness is in its highest degree the sister of goodness .
Here I paused , I knew not why ; but I remained some minutes with my eyes fixed on a coach that was coming towards me from the other end of the street .
Our party at length broke up ; `` We are all dreaming this morning , '' said Ryland , `` it is as wise to discuss the probability of a visitation of the plague in our well governed metropolis , as to calculate the centuries which must escape before we can grow pine apples here in the open air . ''
It was difficult to find an immediate remedy .
For a long time he was obstinate .
But I will endeavour to detail these bitter circumstances to you , my dear sister ; and while I am wafted towards England and towards you , I will not despond .
When I reflected on the work I had completed , no less a one than the creation of a sensitive and rational animal , I could not rank myself with the herd of common projectors .
Yet a feeling of awe , a breathless sentiment of wonder , a painful sense of the degradation of humanity , was introduced into every heart .
I can not set my heart to a particular tune , or run voluntary changes on my will .
Yet let us go England is in her shroud , we may not enchain ourselves to a corpse .
My tenderness and affection must soothe you ; the society of Raymond 's friends will be of more solace than these dreary speculations .
We put in movement every impulse of policy and money to redeem him from their hands .
I can not describe the tumult of emotions that arose within me as I read it .
I fear , my friend , that I shall render myself tedious by dwelling on these preliminary circumstances ; but they were days of comparative happiness , and I think of them with pleasure .
A second thought passed , swift as an arrow , into her brain ; she rushed to the window ; and a flash of lightning shewed to her the expected vision , her lover in the shrubbery beneath ; joy lent her strength to descend the stairs , to open the door , and then she fainted in his supporting arms .
The spirit of elder days found a dwelling here , and we delighted to trace its footsteps .
This is the most favourable period for travelling in Russia .
I may there discover the wondrous power which attracts the needle and may regulate a thousand celestial observations that require only this voyage to render their seeming eccentricities consistent forever .
In the north it was worse the lesser population gradually declined , and famine and plague kept watch on the survivors , who , helpless and feeble , were ready to fall an easy prey into their hands .
Early in the morning Raymond came to me ; intelligence had arrived that Adrian was dangerously ill , and it appeared impossible that his failing strength should surmount the disorder .
The massy portals of the churches swung creaking on their hinges ; and some few lay dead on the pavement .
They came from the east and the north , and directed their course without apparent motive , but unanimously towards our unhappy metropolis .
Before it had been a rumour ; but now in words uneraseable , in definite and undeniable print , the knowledge went forth .
The poor perceived that the rich possessed other means of preservation than those which could be partaken of by themselves , seclusion , and , as far as circumstances permitted , freedom from care .
Answer me , I conjure you by our mutual happiness , with simple truth Do you not love another ?
I am its dupe no longer .
The door of the house from which these sounds proceeded was open , the upper rooms were illuminated as for a feast .
On her return , at about nine o'clock , she met a man who asked her if she had seen anything of the child who was lost .
The way in which Adrian had received his project for setting him up as a candidate for the Protectorship , and his replies , had already awakened in his mind , the view of the subject which we were now discussing .
But this was not enough .
It is far better for your peace that you should be ignorant of my destination .
They might even hate each other ; the creature who already lived loathed his own deformity , and might he not conceive a greater abhorrence for it when it came before his eyes in the female form ?
He did not join as usual in the playful spirit of the rest ; but , entering into conversation with Adrian and myself , by degrees we seceded from our companions , and Idris and Perdita only remained with the children .
The storm appeared to approach rapidly , and , on landing , I ascended a low hill , that I might observe its progress .
We call the supernal lights fixed , yet they wander about yonder plain , and if I look again where I looked an hour ago , the face of the eternal heavens is altered .
Before I depart I will give them to you ; they will prove the truth of my tale ; but at present , as the sun is already far declined , I shall only have time to repeat the substance of them to you .
No unseemly sights were therefore discernible : the shops were in general open , the concourse of passengers in some degree kept up .
At once , I seemed to awake ; I cast off the clinging sloth of the past months ; earth assumed a new appearance , and my view of the future was suddenly made clear .
Were I now to commit an act which would annihilate my hopes , and pluck the regal garment from my mortal limbs , to clothe them in ordinary weeds , would this , think you , be an act of free will on my part ? ''
Yet untill I find him I must force reason to keep her seat , and I pressed my forehead hard with my hands Oh do not leave me ; or I shall forget what I am about instead of driving on as we ought with the speed of lightning they will attend to me , and we shall be too late .
The night was windless , hot , and cloudy ; her load became too heavy for her ; and one by one she threw away her loaves , still endeavouring to get along , though her hobbling fell into lameness , and her weakness at last into inability to move .
As time passed away I became more calm ; misery had her dwelling in my heart , but I no longer talked in the same incoherent manner of my own crimes ; sufficient for me was the consciousness of them .
I feel exquisite pleasure in dwelling on the recollections of childhood , before misfortune had tainted my mind and changed its bright visions of extensive usefulness into gloomy and narrow reflections upon self .
There was none among the myriads of men that existed who would pity or assist me ; and should I feel kindness towards my enemies ?
Raymond sat among them , though while he entered into the spirit of the hour , his natural dignity never forsook him .
`` The next morning Felix went out to his work , and after the usual occupations of Agatha were finished , the Arabian sat at the feet of the old man , and taking his guitar , played some airs so entrancingly beautiful that they at once drew tears of sorrow and delight from my eyes .
One moment we seized before our departure , to take leave of our beloved girls .
Would an architect be permitted to see the artist ?
`` I come to you , '' he said , `` only half assured that you will assist me in my project , but resolved to go through with it , whether you concur with me or not .
The guilty are allowed , by human laws , bloody as they are , to speak in their own defence before they are condemned .
I see him now , excellent and venerable old man His eyes wandered in vacancy , for they had lost their charm and their delight his Elizabeth , his more than daughter , whom he doted on with all that affection which a man feels , who in the decline of life , having few affections , clings more earnestly to those that remain .
Where had they fled when the next morning I awoke ?
I am not one of your enemies , I believed you guiltless , notwithstanding every evidence , until I heard that you had yourself declared your guilt .
The blue lake and snow clad mountains they never change ; and I think our placid home and our contented hearts are regulated by the same immutable laws .
We rest ; a dream has power to poison sleep .
Once commenced , it would quickly be achieved , and I might be restored to my family in peace and happiness .
As he spoke , his earnest eyes , fixed on me , seemed to read my very soul : my heart , my savage revengeful heart , felt the influence of sweet benignity sink upon it ; while his thrilling voice , like sweetest melody , awoke a mute echo within me , stirring to its depths the life blood in my frame .
The lightness of heart which had dressed them in masquerade habits , had decorated their tents , and assembled them in fantastic groups , appeared a sin against , and a provocative to , the awful destiny that had laid its palsying hand upon hope and life .
Her coarse peasant dress , little consonant apparently with the refinement of feeling which her face expressed , yet in a strange manner accorded with it .
The evening was warm and serene , and we prolonged our walk farther than usual .
The entrance of Hecate , and the wild music that followed , took us out of this world .
So saying , he hastened away , vaulted on his horse , and with a gesture as if he gave me his hand to kiss , bade me another laughing adieu .
All these shews of despair struck Perdita with affright .
Some small change indeed the progress of years brought here ; and time , as it is wont , stamped the traces of mortality on our pleasures and expectations .
I read the histories of Greece and Rome , and of England 's former periods , and I watched the movements of the lady of my heart .
This indeed was the plague .
This breeze , which has travelled from the regions towards which I am advancing , gives me a foretaste of those icy climes .
The men disdainfully repelled the idea of having deserted the defence of their city ; and one , the youngest among them , in answer to the taunt of a sailor , exclaimed , `` Take it , Christian dogs take the palaces , the gardens , the mosques , the abode of our fathers take plague with them ; pestilence is the enemy we fly ; if she be your friend , hug her to your bosoms .
`` Do you cabal also against me , '' said he , laughing ; `` and will you make common cause with Raymond , in dragging a poor visionary from the clouds to surround him with the fire works and blasts of earthly grandeur , instead of heavenly rays and airs ?
She instructed her daughter in the tenets of her religion and taught her to aspire to higher powers of intellect and an independence of spirit forbidden to the female followers of Muhammad .
When I leave this place do not expect to hear from me : I must break all ties that at present exist .
`` Dear Madam , '' said Adrian , `` let me entreat you to see him , to cultivate his friendship .
When my guest was a little recovered I had great trouble to keep off the men , who wished to ask him a thousand questions ; but I would not allow him to be tormented by their idle curiosity , in a state of body and mind whose restoration evidently depended upon entire repose .
Three years ago and on that day and hour it shone through the branches and leaves of the beech wood and its beams flickered upon the countenance of him whom I then beheld for the last time .
I was born in England .
The theatres were open and thronged ; dance and midnight festival were frequented in many of these decorum was violated , and the evils , which hitherto adhered to an advanced state of civilization , were doubled .
Ryland was a man of obscure birth and of immense wealth , inherited from his father , who had been a manufacturer .
`` I have lost that which adorned and dignified my life ; that which linked me to other men .
`` I swear , '' he cried , `` by the sun , and by the blue sky of heaven , and by the fire of love that burns my heart , that if you grant my prayer , while they exist you shall never behold me again .
You will smile at my allusion , but I will disclose a secret .
As well might Cleopatra have worn as an ornament the vinegar which contained her dissolved pearl , as I be content with the love that Raymond can now offer me . ''
When we arrived , after a little rest , he led me over the house and pointed out to me the rooms which my mother had inhabited .
Every day added to his difficulties ; the arrival of fresh vessels with emigrants , the total cessation of commerce , the starving multitude that thronged around the palace of the Protectorate , were circumstances not to be tampered with .
They talked of taking London , conquering England calling to mind the long detail of injuries which had for many years been forgotten .
Learn from me , if not by my precepts , at least by my example , how dangerous is the acquirement of knowledge and how much happier that man is who believes his native town to be the world , than he who aspires to become greater than his nature will allow .
Never mark me never will I leave this spot .
Not one of her relations , for they lay glaring on her with stony eyes .
She tried to reason with him , and finding him inflexible , learned to hate him .
`` I entreat you to call to your remembrance our first happy life on the shores of Loch Lomond .
The accounts furnished him , however distorted , of a great and wise nation asserting its right to govern itself , excited his admiration : in early days he became a republican from principle .
The Athenians saw in him , not as heretofore , the heroic boy or desperate man , who was ready to die for them ; but the prudent commander , who for their sakes was careful of his life , and could make his own warrior propensities second to the scheme of conduct policy might point out .
My sensations had by this time become distinct , and my mind received every day additional ideas .
If mere existence , and not happiness , had been the final end of our being , what need of the profuse luxuries which we enjoy ?
Not far from my cottage was a small cluster of pines the only trees to be seen for many miles : I had a path cut through the furze from my door to this little wood , from whose topmost branches the birds saluted the rising sun and awoke me to my daily meditation .
Once for me , you relinquished the prospect of a crown .
When she again lived , it was only to weep and sigh .
No one can conceive the variety of feelings which bore me onwards , like a hurricane , in the first enthusiasm of success .
I shall never see the snows of another winter I do believe that I shall never again feel the vivifying warmth of another summer sun ; and it is in this persuasion that I begin to write my tragic history .
Still thou canst listen to me and grant me thy compassion .
I saw few human beings besides them , and if any other happened to enter the cottage , their harsh manners and rude gait only enhanced to me the superior accomplishments of my friends .
We were soon joined by Elizabeth .
But neither this assurance , nor the speedy convalescence of our child could restore her , even to the portion of peace she before enjoyed .
I knew that I must travel in a southwesterly direction to reach my destination , but the sun was my only guide .
Wherefore should I see her ?
It was a passion that had grown with his growth ; it had become entwined with every faculty and every sentiment and only to be lost with life .
It was not as in summer time , when each hour might bring the dreaded fate until summer , we felt sure ; and this certainty , short lived as it must be , yet for awhile satisfied her maternal tenderness .
I knew myself when I renounced it .
I compassionated him and sometimes felt a wish to console him , but when I looked upon him , when I saw the filthy mass that moved and talked , my heart sickened and my feelings were altered to those of horror and hatred .
A feeling of devotion , of duty , of a high and steady purpose , elevated me ; a strange joy filled my heart .
The inhabitants of the smaller towns left their houses , pitched tents in the fields , wandering separate from each other careless of hunger or the sky 's inclemency , while they imagined that they avoided the death dealing disease .
It is not pestilence by the God that lives it is not either plague or impending danger that makes us , like birds in harvest time , terrified by a scarecrow , abstain from the ready prey it is base superstition And thus the aim of the valiant is made the shuttlecock of fools ; the worthy ambition of the high souled , the plaything of these tamed hares But yet Stamboul shall be ours By my past labours , by torture and imprisonment suffered for them , by my victories , by my sword , I swear by my hopes of fame , by my former deserts now awaiting their reward , I deeply vow , with these hands to plant the cross on yonder mosque '' `` Dearest Raymond '' interrupted Perdita , in a supplicating accent .
Unfeeling , heartless creator You had endowed me with perceptions and passions and then cast me abroad an object for the scorn and horror of mankind .
No flowers lifted up their dew laden cups to meet the dawn ; the dry grass had withered on the plains ; the burning fields of air were vacant of birds ; the cicale alone , children of the sun , began their shrill and deafening song among the cypresses and olives .
My countenance was painted with the hues of ill health and vexation .
They had played together as children , been the confidants of each other 's little secrets , mutual aids and consolers in difficulty and sorrow .
`` I will most readily accompany you to his abode , '' said the lady , `` not that I wish that either of us should unburthen ourselves of our debt , which , being no less than your life , must remain unpayable ever .
A number of people from North America , the relics of that populous continent , had set sail for the East with mad desire of change , leaving their native plains for lands not less afflicted than their own .
If your wish is to become really a man of science and not merely a petty experimentalist , I should advise you to apply to every branch of natural philosophy , including mathematics . ''
When night came on and brought sleep with it , I was in the greatest fear lest my fire should be extinguished .
Evadne now related the tale of her misfortunes .
I found Raymond and Perdita together .
The house then dissolved .
It should be a solitary house on a wide plain near no other habitation : where I could behold the whole horizon , and wander far without molestation from the sight of my fellow creatures .
Perdita was all kindness and attention to her lord ; but she was silent , and beyond words sad .
I tenderly love these friends ; I have , unknown to them , been for many months in the habits of daily kindness towards them ; but they believe that I wish to injure them , and it is that prejudice which I wish to overcome . '
In our boat , upon my native lake , beside the streams and the pale bordering poplars in valley and over hill , my crook thrown aside , a nobler flock to tend than silly sheep , even a flock of new born ideas , I read or listened to Adrian ; and his discourse , whether it concerned his love or his theories for the improvement of man , alike entranced me .
Two years passed in this manner , during which I paid no visit to Geneva , but was engaged , heart and soul , in the pursuit of some discoveries which I hoped to make .
`` I wish , '' cried she , `` that I were to die with you ; I can not live in this world of misery . ''
Her conversation was full of pointed remark and discernment ; in her pleasant alcove , redolent with sweetest flowers , adorned by magnificent casts , antique vases , and copies of the finest pictures of Raphael , Correggio , and Claude , painted by herself , I fancied myself in a fairy retreat untainted by and inaccessible to the noisy contentions of politicians and the frivolous pursuits of fashion .
My heart was full , and I did not answer him , but as I proceeded , I weighed the various arguments that he had used and determined at least to listen to his tale .
The panic struck appeared of more injury , than disease and its natural concomitants .
The scenes that followed , convinced her that she had not yet fathomed the obscure gulph into which she had plunged .
Her father , though of high rank , had in the end dissipated his fortune , and even destroyed his reputation and influence through a course of dissolute indulgence .
Nov. th It is only four o'clock ; but it is winter and the sun has already set : there are no clouds in the clear , frosty sky to reflect its slant beams , but the air itself is tinged with a slight roseate colour which is again reflected on the snow that covers the ground .
Some few of the Lords Lieutenant who remained , endeavoured to collect the militia but the ranks were vacant , panic seized on all , and the opposition that was made only served to increase the audacity and cruelty of the enemy .
Such were the strange and incredible events , that finally brought about my union with the sister of my best friend , with my adored Idris .
It is one of those adversities which hurt instead of purifying the heart ; for it is so intense a misery that it hardens dulls the feelings .
He had heard my story with that half kind of belief that is given to a tale of spirits and supernatural events ; but when he was called upon to act officially in consequence , the whole tide of his incredulity returned .
Now my tears are dried ; the glow has faded from my cheeks , and with a few words of farewell to you , Woodville , I close my work : the last that I shall perform .
`` To you , Lionel , I entrust your sister and her child .
With the numerous soldiers of Asia , with all of warlike stores , ships , and military engines , that wealth and power could command , the Turks at once resolved to crush an enemy , which creeping on by degrees , had from their stronghold in the Morea , acquired Thrace and Macedonia , and had led their armies even to the gates of Constantinople , while their extensive commercial relations gave every European nation an interest in their success .
He called for the people of the house , but could learn nothing from them , except that they knew nothing .
Suddenly the broad disk of the moon arose and shone full upon his ghastly and distorted shape as he fled with more than mortal speed .
We are neither cowards nor fatalists ; but , believing that God has placed the means for our preservation in our own hands , we will use those means to our utmost .
He therefore accepted for her , and persuaded her to accede to , a proposal of marriage , from a wealthy Greek merchant settled at Constantinople .
I was delighted when I first discovered that a pleasant sound , which often saluted my ears , proceeded from the throats of the little winged animals who had often intercepted the light from my eyes .
From the circumstances of her birth and education , Idris would have been better fitted for the formulae of ceremony ; but the very ease which accompanied such actions with her , arising from habit , rendered them tedious ; while , with every drawback , Perdita evidently enjoyed her situation .
Chairs , as in olden time , and Indian palanquins were introduced for the infirm ; but else it was nothing singular to see females of rank going on foot to places of fashionable resort .
His birth pleased the aristocracy ; his being the candidate recommended by Adrian , a man intimately allied to the popular party , caused a number , who had no great reliance either on the Duke or Mr. Ryland , to range on his side .
She lived to find ambition , as unreal a delusion as love .
On returning through the lane , I saw at a distance the same assemblage of persons which I had left .
She only felt in his embrace a dear assurance that while he possessed her , he would not despair .
I lighted the dry branch of a tree and danced with fury around the devoted cottage , my eyes still fixed on the western horizon , the edge of which the moon nearly touched .
No form could be discerned on the terraces of the houses ; in the higher parts of the town no moving shadow bespoke the presence of any living being : the very trees waved not , and mocked the stability of architecture with like immovability .
If such lovely creatures were miserable , it was less strange that I , an imperfect and solitary being , should be wretched .
Yet he might not have been so perfectly humane , so thoughtful in his generosity , so full of kindness and tenderness amidst his passion for adventurous exploit , had she not unfolded to him the real loveliness of beneficence and made the doing good the end and aim of his soaring ambition .
One idea rushed on my mind ; never , never may I speak to him again .
`` They were not entirely happy .
Clerval , whose eyes and feelings were always quick in discerning the sensations of others , declined the subject , alleging , in excuse , his total ignorance ; and the conversation took a more general turn .
Why talk of infancy , manhood , and old age ?
You refuse my just demand ; I have but one resource , and I devote myself , either in my life or death , to his destruction . ''
I devoted myself to him : imperfect creature that I was , I took myself to task , that I might become worthy of him .
But it would not do : I rated my fortitude too high , or my love too low .
It is so long before the mind can persuade itself that she whom we saw every day and whose very existence appeared a part of our own can have departed forever that the brightness of a beloved eye can have been extinguished and the sound of a voice so familiar and dear to the ear can be hushed , never more to be heard .
Here I met Georgio Palli , the vice admiral of the Greek fleet , a former friend and warm partizan of Raymond .
She attended the markets she insisted upon being supplied with food for those who were too poor to purchase it .
He was seized and cast into prison the very day that Safie arrived from Constantinople to join him .
I learned from Werter 's imaginations despondency and gloom , but Plutarch taught me high thoughts ; he elevated me above the wretched sphere of my own reflections , to admire and love the heroes of past ages .
Justine shook her head mournfully .
`` As yet I looked upon crime as a distant evil , benevolence and generosity were ever present before me , inciting within me a desire to become an actor in the busy scene where so many admirable qualities were called forth and displayed .
He can influence the blood thirsty war dogs , while I resist their propensities vainly .
But in every change goodness and affection can find field for exertion and display .
She and my father had been playmates from infancy : Diana , even in her childhood had been a favourite with his mother ; this partiality encreased with the years of this beautiful and lively girl and thus during his school college vacations they were perpetually together .
She sat at the table ; one small hand shaded her eyes from the candle ; the other held a pencil ; her looks were fixed on a drawing before her , which Raymond recognized as the design presented to him .
The woman asked her what she did there , but she looked very strangely and only returned a confused and unintelligible answer .
My father 's impulses , never under his own controul , perpetually led him into difficulties from which his ingenuity alone could extricate him ; and the accumulating pile of debts of honour and of trade , which would have bent to earth any other , was supported by him with a light spirit and tameless hilarity ; while his company was so necessary at the tables and assemblies of the rich , that his derelictions were considered venial , and he himself received with intoxicating flattery .
The first part of this deposition did not in the least interest me , but when the mark of the fingers was mentioned I remembered the murder of my brother and felt myself extremely agitated ; my limbs trembled , and a mist came over my eyes , which obliged me to lean on a chair for support .
As soon as he showed signs of life we wrapped him up in blankets and placed him near the chimney of the kitchen stove .
Her society was my chief solace and delight ; and my spirits always rose at the expectation of seeing her .
`` These wonderful narrations inspired me with strange feelings .
The feelings of kindness and gentleness which I had entertained but a few moments before gave place to hellish rage and gnashing of teeth .
He was , as one the peculiar delight of the Gods , railed and fenced in by his own divinity , so that nought but love and admiration could approach him .
I never saw a more interesting creature : his eyes have generally an expression of wildness , and even madness , but there are moments when , if anyone performs an act of kindness towards him or does him any the most trifling service , his whole countenance is lighted up , as it were , with a beam of benevolence and sweetness that I never saw equalled .
Oh the brave power of the bitter north wind which freezes the tears it has caused to shed But I will not bear this ; go : the sun will rise and set as before you came , and I shall sit among the pines or wander on the heath weeping and complaining without wishing for you to listen .
I avoided my ancient comrades , and I soon lost them .
But Adrian is alone , wifeless , childless , unoccupied .
But this catalogue of favourites to be taken with us , could not be made without grief to think of our heavy losses , and a deep sigh for the many things we must leave behind .
With the quick sensibility peculiar to his temperament , he perceived his power in the brilliant circle to be on the wane .
Have any of you , my readers , observed the ruins of an anthill immediately after its destruction ?
His good star perpetually shone upon him ; a reputation had never before been made so rapidly : it was universal .
I have wandered here many days ; the caves of ice , which I only do not fear , are a dwelling to me , and the only one which man does not grudge .
But I have one want which I have never yet been able to satisfy , and the absence of the object of which I now feel as a most severe evil , I have no friend , Margaret : when I am glowing with the enthusiasm of success , there will be none to participate my joy ; if I am assailed by disappointment , no one will endeavour to sustain me in dejection .
When it was decided that the young Earl of Windsor should visit Cumberland , workmen arrived to put the house and grounds in order for his reception .
I am blind and can not judge of your countenance , but there is something in your words which persuades me that you are sincere .
The sun 's rays were refracted from the pavement and buildings the stoppage of the public fountains the bad quality of the food , and scarcity even of that , produced a state of suffering , which was aggravated by the scourge of disease ; while the garrison arrogated every superfluity to themselves , adding by waste and riot to the necessary evils of the time .
`` She is innocent , my Elizabeth , '' said I , `` and that shall be proved ; fear nothing , but let your spirits be cheered by the assurance of her acquittal . ''
You had better return to London with him ; you can there make the enquiries agreed upon , concerning the Earl of Windsor and visit me again to morrow , before you proceed on your journey till then , farewell '' She spoke falteringly , and concluded with a heavy sigh .
Child of the sun , and nursling of the tropics , it would expire in these climes .
This warmth of affection , added to the depth of her understanding , and the brilliancy of her imagination , made her beyond words dear to Raymond .
In that hour I should die and at once satisfy and extinguish his malice .
My father tried to awaken in me the feelings of affection .
This noble war in the sky elevated my spirits ; I clasped my hands , and exclaimed aloud , `` William , dear angel this is thy funeral , this thy dirge '' As I said these words , I perceived in the gloom a figure which stole from behind a clump of trees near me ; I stood fixed , gazing intently : I could not be mistaken .
I agreed to leave the finishing and guardianship of the tomb to the head of the religious establishment at Athens , and by the end of October prepared for my return to England .
I demand , and most solemnly I demand if in any way I am the cause of your unhappiness .
He spoke of the state of England ; the necessary measures to be taken to ensure its security , and confirm its prosperity .
The devastation was not confined to the towns , but spread throughout the country ; the hunter died in the woods , the peasant in the corn fields , and the fisher on his native waters .
You raise me from the dust by this kindness ; and I trust that , by your aid , I shall not be driven from the society and sympathy of your fellow creatures . '
In this emigration I exceedingly lamented the loss of the fire which I had obtained through accident and knew not how to reproduce it .
As yet western Europe was uninfected ; would it always be so ?
He shewed himself collected , gallant and imperial ; his commands were prompt , his intuition of the events of the day to me miraculous .
Mr. Kirwin is a magistrate , and you are to give an account of the death of a gentleman who was found murdered here last night . ''
`` Urged by this impulse , I seized on the boy as he passed and drew him towards me .
It will contain no reproaches .
After the scene sketched in the preceding pages , Perdita had contemplated an entire change in the manners and conduct of Raymond .
Over the deep grave of my secret I must heap an impenetrable heap of false smiles and words : cunning frauds , treacherous laughter and a mixture of all light deceits would form a mist to blind others and be as the poisonous simoon to me .
My choice was easily made .
The saintly soul of Elizabeth shone like a shrine dedicated lamp in our peaceful home .
You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement of an enterprise which you have regarded with such evil forebodings .
I need not conjure you to look upon me as one of whom all links that once existed between us are broken .
The apprehension , that Raymond had departed for ever , that his name , blended eternally with the past , must be erased from every anticipation of the future , had come slowly upon me .
I will not live the mark of suspicion , the object of jealousy .
After the departure of her father , thought became impressed on her young brow .
Reproach is indeed an idle word : for what should I reproach you ? `` Allow me in some degree to explain my feeling ; without that , we shall both grope in the dark , mistaking one another ; erring from the path which may conduct , one of us at least , to a more eligible mode of life than that led by either during the last few weeks .
Where was the plague ?
They did not now guess at , and totter on the pathway , divining the mode to please , hoping , yet fearing the continuance of bliss .
My father loved Beaufort with the truest friendship and was deeply grieved by his retreat in these unfortunate circumstances .
My spirit will sleep in peace , or if it thinks , it will not surely think thus .
The tears that suffused my sister 's eyes when I mentioned our friend , and her heightened colour seemed to vouch for the truth of the reports that had reached me .
Let me hear the sweet tones of your beloved voice in peace and calm .
`` Thou wilt ever be the same .
Death , cruel and relentless , had entered these beloved walls .
His last injunction to me was that I should be happy ; perhaps he did not mean the shadowy happiness that I promised myself , yet it was that alone which I could taste .
Suddenly the system of warfare was changed .
How refuse the offers of this generous friend ?
I had resolved in my own mind that to create another like the fiend I had first made would be an act of the basest and most atrocious selfishness , and I banished from my mind every thought that could lead to a different conclusion .
We met other families on the Long Walk , enjoying like ourselves the return of the genial season .
I receded to solitude ; I had recourse to my books , and my desire again to enjoy the society of Adrian became a burning thirst .
This spirit gave a tone of irresistible persuasion to his intercourse with others , so that he seemed like an inspired musician , who struck , with unerring skill , the `` lyre of mind , '' and produced thence divine harmony .
Pareamo aver qui tutto il ben raccolto Che fra mortali in piu parte si rimembra .
The enthusiasm that inspired her with this strange joy , blinded her to the horrors about her ; but they were intolerably agonizing to me .
If this rule were always observed ; if no man allowed any pursuit whatsoever to interfere with the tranquillity of his domestic affections , Greece had not been enslaved , Caesar would have spared his country , America would have been discovered more gradually , and the empires of Mexico and Peru had not been destroyed .
It was not adviseable to wait this sad consummation in our native country ; but travelling would give us our object for each day , that would distract our thoughts from the swift approaching end of things .
So you are about to love her , but do not already ? ''
I feel that I know what ought to be done , and as my presence is necessary for the accomplishment of my plans , I will take especial care to preserve my life .
Chapter Nothing is more painful to the human mind than , after the feelings have been worked up by a quick succession of events , the dead calmness of inaction and certainty which follows and deprives the soul both of hope and fear .
And then swiftly he dispatched his aides de camp to command the horse to fall on the routed enemy .
Listen to me , Frankenstein .
At length Perdita dismissed her .
I was for some time ignorant of this and thought that my excessive weakness was the consequence of the fever ; sic But my strength became less and less ; as winter came on I had a cough ; and my sunken cheek , before pale , burned with a hectic fever .
Now , I looked on the evening star , as softly and calmly it hung pendulous in the orange hues of sunset .
When rocked by the waves of the lake my spirits rose in triumph as a horseman feels with pride the motions of his high fed steed .
I had begun life with benevolent intentions and thirsted for the moment when I should put them in practice and make myself useful to my fellow beings .
`` Cowards '' exclaimed their general , exasperated , `` give me an hatchet I alone will enter I will plant your standard ; and when you see it wave from yon highest minaret , you may gain courage , and rally round it '' One of the officers now came forward : `` General , '' he said , `` we neither fear the courage , nor arms , the open attack , nor secret ambush of the Moslems .
There was a large estate with a mansion attached to it , belonging to this family , at Ulswater .
She would wander out at night to get food , and returned home , pleased that she had met no one , that she was in no danger from the plague .
The curse of Allah is on Stamboul , share ye her fate . ''
The prospect did not move me to fear ; yet when I thought of my beloved Elizabeth , of her tears and endless sorrow , when she should find her lover so barbarously snatched from her , tears , the first I had shed for many months , streamed from my eyes , and I resolved not to fall before my enemy without a bitter struggle .
I can not tell you how it adds to my grief to know that I am the cause of uneasiness to you ; but this will pass away , and I hope that soon we shall be as we were a few months ago .
Let him confide his misery to another heart and half the weight of it will be lightened .
His genius was transcendant , and when it rose as a bright star in the east all eyes were turned towards it in admiration .
For myself , I will not voluntarily seek death , that is , I will not , while I can command myself ; and I can here .
At length we saw the numerous steeples of London , St. Paul 's towering above all , and the Tower famed in English history .
I told the servants not to disturb the family , and went into the library to attend their usual hour of rising .
But I concealed my feelings by an appearance of hilarity that brought smiles and joy to the countenance of my father , but hardly deceived the ever watchful and nicer eye of Elizabeth .
No word of comment followed ; each reader made his own fearful one .
There was neither jealousy , inquietude , or mistrust in his sentiment ; it was devotion and faith .
We landed , and proceeded to Paris .
Chapter `` Cursed , cursed creator Why did I live ?
My trifling occupations take up my time and amuse me , and I am rewarded for any exertions by seeing none but happy , kind faces around me .
Idris was well content with this resolve of mine .
Artillery and arms were collected ; the remnants of such regiments , as could be brought through many losses into any show of muster , were put under arms , with that appearance of military discipline which might encourage our own party , and seem most formidable to the disorganized multitude of our enemies .
She was not content that , even for a time , he should practice concealment with her .
We walked together in the gardens and in the evening when I would have retired he asked me to stay and read to him ; and first said , `` When I was last here your mother read Dante to me ; you shall go on where she left off . ''
Soon after Idris , who was at the harp , turned to that passionate and sorrowful air in Figaro , `` Porgi , amor , qualche risforo , '' in which the deserted Countess laments the change of the faithless Almaviva .
The pictures drawn in these books were so vivid , that we seemed to have experienced the results depicted by them .
`` I have powers ; my countrymen think well of them .
`` Safie resolved to remain with her father until the moment of his departure , before which time the Turk renewed his promise that she should be united to his deliverer ; and Felix remained with them in expectation of that event ; and in the meantime he enjoyed the society of the Arabian , who exhibited towards him the simplest and tenderest affection .
Such was his choice : he expected to die .
I had one female servant who spent the greater part of the day at a village two miles off .
But to convince you that selfish feeling does not entirely engross me I shall remain in this town untill you have made by letter every arrangement that you judge necessary .
He might dissect , anatomize , and give names ; but , not to speak of a final cause , causes in their secondary and tertiary grades were utterly unknown to him .
I was in the wrong to commence a system of concealment ; but I did it for the sake of sparing you pain ; and each day has rendered it more difficult for me to alter my plan .
As he walked among other men he seemed encompassed with a heavenly halo that divided him from and lifted him above them .
My aunt conceived a great attachment for her , by which she was induced to give her an education superior to that which she had at first intended .
There were many dear friends whom we must not leave behind , humble though they were .
Those were the last moments of my life during which I enjoyed the feeling of happiness .
She embraced Elizabeth and said in a voice of half suppressed emotion , `` Farewell , sweet lady , dearest Elizabeth , my beloved and only friend ; may heaven , in its bounty , bless and preserve you ; may this be the last misfortune that you will ever suffer Live , and be happy , and make others so . ''
You will find a happy , cheerful home and friends who love you dearly .
I did not pretend to enter into the merits of the case , yet I inclined towards the opinions of the hero , whose extinction I wept , without precisely understanding it .
`` This wound will probably shorten my life , having shattered a frame , weak of itself .
Such was the power of man over the elements ; a power long sought , and lately won ; yet foretold in by gone time by the prince of poets , whose verses I quoted much to the astonishment of my pilot , when I told him how many hundred years ago they had been written : Oh human wit , thou can'st invent much ill , Thou searchest strange arts : who would think by skill , An heavy man like a light bird should stray , And through the empty heavens find a way ?
My first real knowledge of myself was as an unprotected orphan among the valleys and fells of Cumberland .
I had been excited to the utmost by the proceedings of the day , and now more than ever by the passionate language of Raymond .
Raymond began the conversation somewhat abruptly .
In the meantime I took every precaution to defend my person in case the fiend should openly attack me .
`` You are sorrowful , my love .
The first secret that had existed between them was the visits of Raymond to Evadne .
We got into his carriage , and proceeded towards Windsor .
Let me lay my head near your heart ; let me die in your arms '' He sunk to the earth fainting , while I , nearly as lifeless , gazed on him in despair .
I know not ; I lost sensation , and chains and darkness were the only objects that pressed upon me .
But now , when I appeared almost within grasp of my foe , my hopes were suddenly extinguished , and I lost all trace of him more utterly than I had ever done before .
`` I loved you I love you neither anger nor pride dictates these lines ; but a feeling beyond , deeper , and more unalterable than either .
Raymond was as usual courteous , though there was , on occasions , an unbidden haughtiness , or painful abruptness in his manners , which startled his gentle friend ; his brow was not clouded but disdain sat on his lips , and his voice was harsh .
At every inn where we changed horses we heard of him , and I was possessed by alternate hope and fear .
She dared not be present at the contest ; yet she remained at home a prey to double solicitude .
Perdita looked up ; she saw his angry glance ; his hand was on the lock of the door .
He composed heroic songs and began to write many a tale of enchantment and knightly adventure .
I have often wondered at the subject of her verses , and at the English dress of the Latin poet .
But you will , I hope , soon quit this melancholy abode , for doubtless evidence can easily be brought to free you from the criminal charge . ''
At the foot of this sublime chasm , a fertile laughing valley reached from sea to sea , and beyond was spread the blue Aegean , sprinkled with islands , the light waves glancing beneath the sun .
Still Adrian was unable to guess the truth ; he entreated them to visit us at Windsor , and they promised to come during the following month .
`` When my dearest aunt died every one was too much occupied in their own grief to notice poor Justine , who had attended her during her illness with the most anxious affection .
As we went he reminded me of what I was to say and do , yet , strange to say , I entered the chamber without having once reflected on my purpose .
On hearing this word , Felix came up hastily to the lady , who , when she saw him , threw up her veil , and I beheld a countenance of angelic beauty and expression .
Few people had discovered some cowardice and much infirmity of purpose under this imposing exterior .
After so long a period of an absorbing melancholy that resembled madness in its intensity and effects , he was glad to find that I was capable of taking pleasure in the idea of such a journey , and he hoped that change of scene and varied amusement would , before my return , have restored me entirely to myself .
Evadne made it her earnest request that the tale of their loves should not be revealed to his mother ; and after for a while contesting the point , he yielded it to her .
The murderous mark of the fiend 's grasp was on her neck , and the breath had ceased to issue from her lips .
She answered that I was right , and might do with her as I pleased .
Ambition turned his thoughts from these designs ambition , which labouring through various lets and hindrances , had now led him to the summit of his hopes , in making him Lord Protector of England .
Know yourself , Raymond , and your indignation will cease ; your complacency return .
Let fancy pourtray the joyous scene of the twentieth of June , such as even now my aching heart recalls it .
I was an outcast and a vagabond , when Adrian gently threw over me the silver net of love and civilization , and linked me inextricably to human charities and human excellence .
There was somthing in those dark deep orbs so liquid , and intense that even in happiness I could never meet their full gaze that mine did not overflow .
I was always conscious of my state when my wild thoughts seemed to drive me to insanity , and never betrayed them to aught but silence and solitude .
Still he had many friends , admirers of his transcendent talents ; his presence in the house , his eloquence , address and imposing beauty , were calculated to produce an electric effect .
`` Do not catechise me , Lionel ; I will do my duty by her , be assured .
He heard of the passing events of the day ; he knew that , if he returned , and resumed his place in society , the entrance was still open , and it required but the will , to surround himself at once with the associations and habits of boyhood .
In spite of her coldness and long absence , he welcomed her with sensibility , displaying such affection as sought to heal the wounds of pride and sorrow , and was repulsed only by her total apparent want of sympathy .
Another storm enlightened Jura with faint flashes ; and another darkened and sometimes disclosed the Mole , a peaked mountain to the east of the lake .
Soon after , however , Felix approached with another man ; I was surprised , as I knew that he had not quitted the cottage that morning , and waited anxiously to discover from his discourse the meaning of these unusual appearances .
I am glad now to feel the current of thought flow through my mind , as the blood through the articulations of my frame ; mere existence is pleasure ; and I thank God that I live `` And all ye happy nurslings of mother earth , do ye not echo my words ?
I came in during the interval between the third and fourth act .
As soon as he beheld my form , he placed his hands before his eyes and uttered a shrill scream ; I drew his hand forcibly from his face and said , 'Child , what is the meaning of this ?
When I returned home my first care was to procure the whole works of this author , and afterwards of Paracelsus and Albertus Magnus .
The neighbouring minister was engaged to give me lessons in reading , writing and french , but he was without family and his manners even to me were always perfectly characteristic of the profession in the exercise of whose functions he chiefly shone , that of a schoolmaster .
With simplicity and courage she set aside the prejudices and opposition which were obstacles to my happiness , nor scrupled to give her hand , where she had given her heart .
He was deeply read in books of chivalry and romance .
It was after one tremendous day when his eyes had glared on me like lightning and his voice sharp and broken seemed unable to express the extent of his emotion that in the evening when I was alone he joined me with a calm countenance , and not noticing my tears which I quickly dried when he approached , told me that in three days that sic he intended to remove with me to his estate in Yorkshire , and bidding me prepare left me hastily as if afraid of being questioned .
Besides , in drawing the picture of my early days , I also record those events which led , by insensible steps , to my after tale of misery , for when I would account to myself for the birth of that passion which afterwards ruled my destiny I find it arise , like a mountain river , from ignoble and almost forgotten sources ; but , swelling as it proceeded , it became the torrent which , in its course , has swept away all my hopes and joys .
We spent two months together in this house .
They know our infantine dispositions , which , however they may be afterwards modified , are never eradicated ; and they can judge of our actions with more certain conclusions as to the integrity of our motives .
Morning broke ; and the old woman saw the corpse , marked with the fatal disease , close to her ; her wrist was livid with the hold loosened by death .
Perdita beheld with affright the encreasing disorder .
Nature decayed around me , and the sun became heatless ; rain and snow poured around me ; mighty rivers were frozen ; the surface of the earth was hard and chill , and bare , and I found no shelter .
The position of the stars was my only guide .
I was now about to form another being of whose dispositions I was alike ignorant ; she might become ten thousand times more malignant than her mate and delight , for its own sake , in murder and wretchedness .
This circumstance , added to his well known integrity and dauntless courage , made me very desirous to engage him .
I found myself similar yet at the same time strangely unlike to the beings concerning whom I read and to whose conversation I was a listener .
I gave him love only .
The light of that conflagration will fade away ; my ashes will be swept into the sea by the winds .
After travelling day and night I arrived with an anxious , yet a hoping heart , for why should he send for me if it were only to avoid me and to treat me with the apparent aversion that he had in London .
A beautiful creation , he would say , which may claim this superiority to its model , that good and evil is more easily seperated : the good rewarded in the way they themselves desire ; the evil punished as all things evil ought to be punished , not by pain which is revolting to all philanthropy to consider but by quiet obscurity , which simply deprives them of their harmful qualities ; why kill the serpent when you have extracted his fangs ?
I heard the roar of the waters : he held his course right on towards the brink and I became breathless with fear lest he should plunge down the dreadful precipice ; I tried to augment my speed , but my knees failed beneath me , yet I had just reached him ; just caught a part of his flowing robe , when he leapt down and I awoke with a violent scream .
But at that moment a crash was heard .
I could not see her thus lost , without exerting myself to remedy the evil remediless I knew , if I could not in the end bring her to reconcile herself to Raymond .
The happy do not feel poverty for delight is as a gold tissued robe , and crowns them with priceless gems .
You are of this world ; I am not .
Remember that cleanliness , sobriety , and even good humour and benevolence , are our best medicines . ''
There was a gentleman of small fortune who lived near his family mansion who had three lovely daughters .
It was probable that the inmate was absent , but secure that he had found the right person , our adventurous Protector was tempted to enter , to leave a purse on the table , and silently depart .
And then I thought again of his words `` I WILL BE WITH YOU ON YOUR WEDDING NIGHT . ''
This same evening his mother and sister arrived .
This poor man , learned as La Place , guileless and unforeseeing as a child , had often been on the point of starvation , he , his pale wife and numerous offspring , while he neither felt hunger , nor observed distress .
The physician declared that he died of the plague .
`` I talk not of others , but myself , '' replied Raymond , `` and I am as fair an example to go by as another .
The immense mountains and precipices that overhung me on every side , the sound of the river raging among the rocks , and the dashing of the waterfalls around spoke of a power mighty as Omnipotence and I ceased to fear or to bend before any being less almighty than that which had created and ruled the elements , here displayed in their most terrific guise .
He was younger , less worn , more passionless than my father and in no degree reminded me of him : he suffered under immediate grief yet its gentle influence instead of calling feelings otherwise dormant into action , seemed only to veil that which otherwise would have been too dazzling for me .
By the application of praise , censure , and exhortation , she tried to seek and strike the fitting chords ; and though the melody that followed her touch seemed discord to her , she built her hopes on his talents , and felt sure that she would at last win him .
`` When night came I quitted my retreat and wandered in the wood ; and now , no longer restrained by the fear of discovery , I gave vent to my anguish in fearful howlings .
On the contrary , the disease gained virulence , while starvation did its accustomed work .
Pale and tearful , she almost forgot her duties as hostess ; her eyes were fixed on her children .
These reflections have dispelled the agitation with which I began my letter , and I feel my heart glow with an enthusiasm which elevates me to heaven , for nothing contributes so much to tranquillize the mind as a steady purpose a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye .
Is not short payne well borne that brings long ease , And lays the soul to sleep in quiet grave ? F `` Do you mark my words ; I have learned the language of despair : I have it all by heart , for I am Despair ; and a strange being am I , joyous , triumphant Despair .
To part with what is a part of myself ; without whom I have no memory and no futurity ?
`` Having thus arranged my dwelling and carpeted it with clean straw , I retired , for I saw the figure of a man at a distance , and I remembered too well my treatment the night before to trust myself in his power .
I followed her , and strove to inspire more hope than I could myself entertain ; but she shook her head mournfully .
But until then , I conjure you , do not mention or allude to it .
I seized the favourable moment , and endeavoured to awaken in her something beyond the killing torpor of grief .
`` Being thus provided , I resolved to reside in this hovel until something should occur which might alter my determination .
Elizabeth observed my agitation for some time in timid and fearful silence , but there was something in my glance which communicated terror to her , and trembling , she asked , `` What is it that agitates you , my dear Victor ?
Idris endeavoured to calm Perdita ; but the poor girl 's agitation deprived her of all power of self command .
`` My travels were long and the sufferings I endured intense .
On the third day my mother sickened ; her fever was accompanied by the most alarming symptoms , and the looks of her medical attendants prognosticated the worst event .
But death was no evil to me if the loss of Elizabeth were balanced with it , and I therefore , with a contented and even cheerful countenance , agreed with my father that if my cousin would consent , the ceremony should take place in ten days , and thus put , as I imagined , the seal to my fate .
Ay , stare if you please ; but it is nevertheless true .
his own trusting , devoted , affectionate Perdita , whose generous belief galled him doubly , when he remembered the parade of innocence with which it had been exacted .
He is so ; but then he is wholly uneducated : he is as silent as a Turk , and a kind of ignorant carelessness attends him , which , while it renders his conduct the more astonishing , detracts from the interest and sympathy which otherwise he would command .
We visited the tomb of the illustrious Hampden and the field on which that patriot fell .
Indeed , who would credit that Justine Moritz , who was so amiable , and fond of all the family , could suddenly become so capable of so frightful , so appalling a crime ? ''
Yet he would not propose the separation .
The weight upon my spirit was sensibly lightened as I plunged yet deeper in the ravine of Arve .
None but Adrian could have tamed the motley population of London , which , like a troop of unbitted steeds rushing to their pastures , had thrown aside all minor fears , through the operation of the fear paramount .
But a few months have elapsed since I believed that I was all the world to you ; and that there was no happiness or grief for you on earth unshared by your Mathilda your child : that happy time is no longer , and what I most dreaded in this world is come upon me .
I had chosen night time for our journey to London , that the change and desolation of the country might be the less observable .
He wished as much as possible to obliterate the memory of the scenes that had taken place in Ireland and never alluded to them or suffered me to speak of my misfortunes .
My life was like that of an animal , and my mind was in danger of degenerating into that which informs brute nature .
Who that knows what `` life '' is , would pine for this feverish species of existence ?
He asked for my sister ; and I delivered her message .
I had a very confused knowledge of kingdoms , wide extents of country , mighty rivers , and boundless seas .
They have acquired new and almost unlimited powers ; they can command the thunders of heaven , mimic the earthquake , and even mock the invisible world with its own shadows . ''
`` Do so , if you will ; but I will not .
He would forsake her , England , his friends , the scenes of his youth , the hopes of coming time , he would seek another country , and in other scenes begin life again .
During the early part of my life there is little to relate , and I will be brief ; but I must be allowed to dwell a little on the years of my childhood that it may be apparent how when one hope failed all life was to be a blank ; and how when the only affection I was permitted to cherish was blasted my existence was extinguished with it .
None but those who have experienced them can conceive of the enticements of science .
`` As I fixed my eyes on the child , I saw something glittering on his breast .
I am about to proceed on a long and difficult voyage , the emergencies of which will demand all my fortitude : I am required not only to raise the spirits of others , but sometimes to sustain my own , when theirs are failing .
My knowledge of the worldly principles of Lord Raymond , would have ever prevented me from applying to him , however deep my distress might have been .
The sweet girl welcomed me with warm affection , yet tears were in her eyes as she beheld my emaciated frame and feverish cheeks .
Even music was not wanting : banners floated in the air , and the shrill fife and loud trumpet breathed forth sounds of encouragement and victory .
To some among the poor this was matter of exultation .
A mist covered both that and the surrounding mountains .
All these circumstances were now related to Adrian and Idris .
Why had I not followed him and closed with him in mortal strife ?
We left Edinburgh in a week , passing through Coupar , St. Andrew 's , and along the banks of the Tay , to Perth , where our friend expected us .
Languor was changed to ardour , the slow step converted to a speedy pace , while the hollow murmur of the multitude , inspired by one feeling , and that deadly , filled the air , drowning the clang of arms and sound of music .
The usual one of imports was entirely cut off .
By the reigning God it is true ; the paltry earldom of Windsor shall no longer content him , who will inherit the rights which must for ever appertain to the person who possesses it .
And I , the nearest kinsman of the Earl of Windsor , was to propose his election .
Return to Windsor then , my brother ; for such you are by every tie fill the double place my absence imposes on you , and let me , in all my sufferings here , turn my eyes towards that dear seclusion , and say There is peace . ''
Her victory was announced by an unusual tranquillity and gladness of soul which followed the relinquishing of my ancient and latterly tormenting studies .
If it indeed be that ; if the efforts of the virtuous now , are to make the future inhabitants of this fair world more happy ; if the labours of those who cast aside selfishness , and try to know the truth of things , are to free the men of ages , now far distant but which will one day come , from the burthen under which those who now live groan , and like you weep bitterly ; if they free them but from one of what are now the necessary evils of life , truly I will not fail but will with my whole soul aid the work .
A little population occupied its halls .
When they separated Felix kissed the hand of the stranger and said , 'Good night sweet Safie . '
Indignation now transported him ; his words I guessed were fraught with disdain then turning from his coward followers , he addressed himself to enter the city alone .
Now I am the first man in the state , burthen of every ballad , and object of old women 's mumbled devotions .
All the time she could command she spent in solitude .
I ought to have familiarized the old De Lacey to me , and by degrees to have discovered myself to the rest of his family , when they should have been prepared for my approach .
She never mentioned her father to Perdita , she appeared half afraid when she spoke of him to me , and though I tried to draw her out on the subject , and to dispel the gloom that hung about her ideas concerning him , I could not succeed .
`` But my toils now drew near a close , and in two months from this time I reached the environs of Geneva .
In my joy I thrust my hand into the live embers , but quickly drew it out again with a cry of pain .
Its pleasant places were deserted ; its temples and palaces were converted into tombs ; its energies , bent before towards the highest objects of human ambition , were now forced to converge to one point , the guarding against the innumerous arrows of the plague .
Shall we , in these desart halls , under this wintry sky , sit with closed eyes and folded hands , expecting death ?
My heart was full of deep affection , but it was calm from its very depth and fulness .
Ryland was roused to resistance ; he asserted that his sufferance alone had permitted the encrease of this party ; but the time for indulgence was passed , and with one motion of his arm he would sweep away the cobwebs that blinded his countrymen .
This , O this may be the last time that you will surround me thus '' Abruptly she stopped , and then cried : `` What have I said ?
Our eldest in some degree understood the scenes passing around , and at times , he with serious looks questioned me concerning the reason of so vast a desolation .
`` You talk of the future , '' she said , `` while the present is all to me .
The aristocratical party , the richest and most influential men in England , appeared less agitated than the others , for the question was to be discussed without their interference .
She understood my gesture ; again her head fell ; again her fingers worked restlessly .
`` My father left it Where is he ?
Our change of cheer struck those nearest to us ; and , by means of Ryland 's servants , the report soon spread that he had fled from the plague in London .
Anguish deprived her of presence of mind ; she gave up to me and Clara the physician 's and nurse 's parts ; she sat by the bed , holding one little burning hand , and , with glazed eyes fixed on her babe , passed the long day in one unvaried agony .
It soon became known that Adrian took great delight in his park and preserves .
He spoke this with a voice so modulated to the different feelings expressed in his speech , with an eye so full of lofty design and heroism , that can you wonder that these men were moved ?
So true it is , that man 's mind alone was the creator of all that was good or great to man , and that Nature herself was only his first minister .
My uncle is not pleased with the idea of a military career in a distant country , but Ernest never had your powers of application .
We have been unfortunate , and recent events have drawn us from that everyday tranquillity befitting my years and infirmities .
Do not suppose , however , that I wish to dictate happiness to you or that a delay on your part would cause me any serious uneasiness .
As a child I had not been content with the results promised by the modern professors of natural science .
When the clouds veiled the sky , and the wind scattered them there and here , rending their woof , and strewing its fragments through the aerial plains then we rode out , and sought new spots of beauty and repose .
Whether he had died or still lingered in the dungeons of Austria was not known .
To crown my vexation of spirit , Perdita , the visionary Perdita , seemed to awake to real life with transport , when she told me that the Earl of Windsor was about to arrive .
All was uproar , crime , remorse and hate , yet still the tenderest love ; and what first awoke me to the firm resolve of conquering my passion and of restoring her father to my child was the sight of your bitter and sympathizing sorrows .
Perdita 's questions had ceased ; she leaned on my arm , panting with emotions too acute for tears our men pulled alongside the other boat .
Tumult filled the before quiet streets women and children deserted their homes , escaping they knew not whither fathers , husbands , and sons , stood trembling , not for themselves , but for their loved and defenceless relations .
What is there in our nature that is for ever urging us on towards pain and misery ?
Although we were anxious to leave England before the depth of winter , yet we were detained .
The old man returned to the cottage , and the youth , with tools different from those he had used in the morning , directed his steps across the fields .
I continued awe struck and mute he looked smilingly on the poor girl ; the smile was his .
I felt the beneficial result of such excitement , in a renewal of those pleasing flights of fancy to which I had long been a stranger .
Darkness then came over me and troubled me , but hardly had I felt this when , by opening my eyes , as I now suppose , the light poured in upon me again .
Their benevolent disposition often made them enter the cottages of the poor .
It was as the ass and the lap dog ; yet surely the gentle ass whose intentions were affectionate , although his manners were rude , deserved better treatment than blows and execration .
The rain had ceased ; there was no more thunder and lightning ; the wind had paused .
It devolved on me to disclose our plan to Idris .
Come , come , the worst is past : no more grief , tears or despair ; were not those the words you uttered ?
Resentment added also a sting to my censure ; and I reprobated Raymond 's conduct in severe terms .
Yes , he had followed me in my travels ; he had loitered in forests , hid himself in caves , or taken refuge in wide and desert heaths ; and he now came to mark my progress and claim the fulfilment of my promise .
I was awake , alive , while the brother of death possessed my race .
We were interrupted by an attendant , who announced , that the staff of Raymond was assembled in the council chamber .
He came up the while ; and his appearance blew aside , with gentle western breath , my cloudy wrath : a tall , slim , fair boy , with a physiognomy expressive of the excess of sensibility and refinement stood before me ; the morning sunbeams tinged with gold his silken hair , and spread light and glory over his beaming countenance .
Doubtless my words surprised Henry ; he at first believed them to be the wanderings of my disturbed imagination , but the pertinacity with which I continually recurred to the same subject persuaded him that my disorder indeed owed its origin to some uncommon and terrible event .
I requested his advice concerning the books I ought to procure .
In other places human beings were seldom seen , and I generally subsisted on the wild animals that crossed my path .
I greedily devoured the remnants of the shepherd 's breakfast , which consisted of bread , cheese , milk , and wine ; the latter , however , I did not like .
We will nominate Adrian , and do our best to bestow on him the power to which he is entitled by his birth , and which he merits through his virtues .
Deeper grief oppressed Perdita .
Sir Isaac Newton is said to have avowed that he felt like a child picking up shells beside the great and unexplored ocean of truth .
In open ambition or close intrigue , his end was the same to attain the first station in his own country .
She never for a moment credited the story of his death ; she resolved instantly to go to Greece .
Raymond had lost much of his popularity , and was deserted by his peculiar partizans .
But I was not the witness of his grief , for I was lifeless and did not recover my senses for a long , long time .
He did not conceive that ever qu .
Methought this was but a poor expedient ; but I assured him of my obedience and zeal .
`` My cousin , '' replied I , `` it is decided as you may have expected ; all judges had rather that ten innocent should suffer than that one guilty should escape .
He had a feeling that however they might express ridicule of his intended marriage they would not dare display it when it had taken place ; therefore seeking the consent of his guardian which with some difficulty he obtained , and of the father of his mistress which was more easily given , without acquainting any one else of his intention , by the time he had attained his twentieth birthday he had become the husband of Diana .
The sea , or rather the vast river of ice , wound among its dependent mountains , whose aerial summits hung over its recesses .
He is an Englishman , and in the midst of national and professional prejudices , unsoftened by cultivation , retains some of the noblest endowments of humanity .
The poor victim , who on the morrow was to pass the awful boundary between life and death , felt not , as I did , such deep and bitter agony .
Madame Moritz , her mother , was a widow with four children , of whom Justine was the third .
There were women weeping around ; I hung over it and joined my sad tears to theirs ; all this time no distinct idea presented itself to my mind , but my thoughts rambled to various subjects , reflecting confusedly on my misfortunes and their cause .
Thus untaught in refined philosophy , and pursued by a restless feeling of degradation from my true station in society , I wandered among the hills of civilized England as uncouth a savage as the wolf bred founder of old Rome .
But they became every day more ardent and tender .
Suddenly one of the choristers died he was lifted from his desk , the vaults below were hastily opened he was consigned with a few muttered prayers to the darksome cavern , abode of thousands who had gone before now wide yawning to receive even all who fulfilled the funeral rites .
Satan had his companions , fellow devils , to admire and encourage him , but I am solitary and abhorred . '
We all observed the visitation of these feelings , and none regretted them so much as Perdita .
For this reason I avoided this high born damsel .
It was not till one of them died that he perceived their danger ; one by one they were carried off by pestilence ; and his wife , his helpmate and supporter , more necessary to him than his own limbs and frame , which had hardly been taught the lesson of self preservation , the kind companion whose voice always spoke peace to him , closed her eyes in death .
The days that followed were full of pain to me ; so that I sometimes regretted that I had not yielded at once to the haughty lady , who watched all my motions , and turned my beloved task of nursing my friend to a work of pain and irritation .
Good God Margaret , if you had seen the man who thus capitulated for his safety , your surprise would have been boundless .
If any being felt emotions of benevolence towards me , I should return them a hundred and a hundredfold ; for that one creature 's sake I would make peace with the whole kind But I now indulge in dreams of bliss that can not be realized .
Strange and harrowing must be his story , frightful the storm which embraced the gallant vessel on its course and wrecked it thus Chapter I am by birth a Genevese , and my family is one of the most distinguished of that republic .
I was accordingly conducted , by the magistrate and several other persons , to the inn .
The delight of Clerval was proportionably greater than mine ; his mind expanded in the company of men of talent , and he found in his own nature greater capacities and resources than he could have imagined himself to have possessed while he associated with his inferiors .
At first I wished to hurry on , for I longed to console and sympathise with my loved and sorrowing friends ; but when I drew near my native town , I slackened my progress .
`` Did we form ourselves , choosing our dispositions , and our powers ?
Clara , overcome by weariness , had seated herself at the foot of her cousin 's bed , and in spite of her efforts slumber weighed down her lids ; twice or thrice she shook it off ; but at length she was conquered and slept .
Her servant , however , remained with her .
The horrible scene of the preceding day was forever acting before my eyes ; the females were flying and the enraged Felix tearing me from his father 's feet .
He had her then removed to a more commodious dwelling , and hovered about her , again and again to assure himself that she was safe .
I now forget the cause of her departure if indeed I ever knew it .
I clasped that kind hand ; I tried to answer ; a fervent `` God bless you '' was all my ignorance could frame of speech , and I darted away , oppressed by my new emotions .
The acquisition of unknown languages was too tedious an occupation , for one who referred every expression to the universe within , and read not , as many do , for the mere sake of filling up time ; but who was still questioning herself and her author , moulding every idea in a thousand ways , ardently desirous for the discovery of truth in every sentence .
His passions were violent ; as these often obtained the mastery over him , he could not always square his conduct to the obvious line of self interest , but self gratification at least was the paramount object with him .
I wished to imitate his example , but men are used to move all together , if they move at all , and I could find no means of leading the inhabitants of scattered towns and villages , who forgot my words as soon as they heard them not , and veered with every baffling wind , that might arise from an apparent change of circumstance .
Felix darted forward , and with supernatural force tore me from his father , to whose knees I clung , in a transport of fury , he dashed me to the ground and struck me violently with a stick .
Oh My creator , make me happy ; let me feel gratitude towards you for one benefit Let me see that I excite the sympathy of some existing thing ; do not deny me my request '' I was moved .
`` Fear not that I shall be the instrument of future mischief .
There was much kindness , gratitude , and sweetness in her expression , but no love .
By the utmost self violence I curbed the imperious voice of wretchedness , which sometimes desired to declare itself to the whole world , and my manners were calmer and more composed than they had ever been since my journey to the sea of ice .
Chapter The being finished speaking and fixed his looks upon me in the expectation of a reply .
My manly virtues did not desert me , for the witch Urania spared the locks of Sampson , while he reposed at her feet ; but all was softened and humanized .
Evadne entered but coldly into his systems .
He asked me the history of my earlier years .
`` Alas Alas What am I become ?
While he was yet undecided , she had quitted England ; the news of his marriage reached her , and her hopes , poorly nurtured blossoms , withered and fell .
The mere flow of animal spirits was Paradise , and at night 's close I only desired a renewal of the intoxicating delusion .
In the midst of poverty and want , Felix carried with pleasure to his sister the first little white flower that peeped out from beneath the snowy ground .
We discussed his chances , the merits of the other candidates , and the dispositions of the voters .
The stinging `` remorse of love '' now pierced her heart .
When she found herself forsaken by him , she lost the heart to pursue her usual avocations ; pride forbade every application to him ; famine was welcomed as the kind porter to the gates of death , within whose opening folds she should now , without sin , quickly repose .
Our house was the house of mourning .
Raymond questioned him ; but his reserved answers soon made him turn from the man to the drawing .
We must all remain ; and do our best to help our suffering fellow creatures . ''
Leave the task of persuasion on that point to me ; I do not ask you to assist me there .
And how , Victor , can I relate our misfortune ?
He heard with attention the little narration concerning my studies and smiled at the names of Cornelius Agrippa and Paracelsus , but without the contempt that M. Krempe had exhibited .
He was pacing the garden : his passions were in a state of inconceivable turbulence .
He got over his grief for Elinor , and the country became dull to him , so he was glad to find even me for amusement ; and when he does not know what else to do he passes his lazy hours here , and calls this friendship It is true that his presence is a consolation to me , and that his words are sweet , and , when he will he can pour forth thoughts that win me from despair .
He was courteous , honey tongued an adept in fascinating arts .
Yet I will not die ; alas how dare I go where I may meet Diana , when I have disobeyed her last request ; her last words said in a faint voice when all feeling but love , which survives all things else was already dead , she then bade me make her child happy : that thought alone gives a double sting to death .
'Who are you ? ' `` At that instant the cottage door was opened , and Felix , Safie , and Agatha entered .
At these moments I took refuge in the most perfect solitude .
`` That he should live to be an instrument of mischief disturbs me ; in other respects , this hour , when I momentarily expect my release , is the only happy one which I have enjoyed for several years .
He writhed beneath an injury he was unable to revenge ; and he quitted England with a vow not to return , till the good time should arrive , when she might feel the power of him she now despised .
The Countess of Windsor was by nature full of energetic feeling ; but she had very seldom in her life permitted the concentrated emotions of her heart to shew themselves on her features .
Desire of renown , and presumptuous ambition , had characterized his youth .
They seemed full of careful thought , and a few words of their conversation that reached me , induced me to approach and make further enquiries .
An advanced guard gave information of our approach , and the country people were quickly in motion to do honour to Lord Raymond .
All Athens accompanied us for several miles .
I can speak for myself want of energy was not my failing .
With the energy natural to her , Perdita then endeavoured to supply his place .
The busy eastern part of the town was silent , or at most you saw only where , half from cupidity , half from curiosity , the warehouses had been more ransacked than pillaged : bales of rich India goods , shawls of price , jewels , and spices , unpacked , strewed the floors .
I attended the lectures and cultivated the acquaintance of the men of science of the university , and I found even in M. Krempe a great deal of sound sense and real information , combined , it is true , with a repulsive physiognomy and manners , but not on that account the less valuable .
We were alone together ; the sun had set ; the song of the nightingales began ; the evening star shone distinct in the flood of light , which was yet unfaded in the west .
The tent of the Arab is fallen in the sands , and his horse spurns the ground unbridled and unsaddled .
Once , overcome by fatigue , I sunk on the wet earth ; about two hundred yards distant , alone in a large meadow stood a magnificent oak ; the lightnings shewed its myriad boughs torn by the storm .
`` This was my duty , but there was another still paramount to that .
Sometimes I have endeavoured to discover what quality it is which he possesses that elevates him so immeasurably above any other person I ever knew .
I can not number the birds that I have saved during the long and severe winters of that climate ; or the hares and rabbits that I have defended from the attacks of our dogs , or have nursed when accidentally wounded .
He assisted her to dismount , and dismissing her guide , conducted her into the cottage .
The sledge was still visible , nor did I again lose sight of it except at the moments when for a short time some ice rock concealed it with its intervening crags .
But that could not be .
His limbs were nearly frozen , and his body dreadfully emaciated by fatigue and suffering .
If dishonour , or what I conceive to be dishonour , come near me , I am lost . ''
`` Since you have preserved my narration , '' said he , `` I would not that a mutilated one should go down to posterity . ''
Thus ended a day memorable to me ; it decided my future destiny .
I see the desolate plain covered with white , save a few black patches that the noonday sun has made at the top of those sharp pointed hillocks from which the snow , sliding as it fell , lay thinner than on the plain ground : a few birds are pecking at the hard ice that covers the pools for the frost has been of long continuance .
Mocking her own desires , she rallied her guests on their early departure .
We rise ; one wand'ring thought pollutes the day .
The details contained in the foregoing pages , apparently trivial , yet each slightest one weighing like lead in the depressed scale of human afflictions ; this tedious dwelling on the sorrows of others , while my own were only in apprehension ; this slowly laying bare of my soul 's wounds : this journal of death ; this long drawn and tortuous path , leading to the ocean of countless tears , awakens me again to keen grief .
Every motive , every threat , every angry taunt was urged in vain .
`` The cottagers arose the next morning before the sun .
From this time Felix was more employed , and the heart moving indications of impending famine disappeared .
He was gay , playful , fascinating but never did he overstep the modesty of nature , or the respect due to himself , in his wildest sallies .
Yet perhaps I shall not be too late . ''
This benefit was fully repaid ; Justine was the most grateful little creature in the world : I do not mean that she made any professions I never heard one pass her lips , but you could see by her eyes that she almost adored her protectress .
His extraction was obscure ; but circumstances brought him early into public notice , and his small paternal property was soon dissipated in the splendid scene of fashion and luxury in which he was an actor .
Do you indeed sleep , Mathilda ?
On the second night after my release , I was again taken by the gamekeepers again imprisoned , and again released ; and again , such was my pertinacity , did the fourth night find me in the forbidden park .
When I was twelve years old it occurred to my aunt that I ought to learn music ; she herself played upon the harp .
Diotima approached the fountain seated herself on a mossy mound near it and her disciples placed themselves on the grass near her Without noticing me who sat close under her she continued her discourse addressing as it happened one or other of her listeners but before I attempt to repeat her words I will describe the chief of these whom she appeared to wish principally to impress One was a woman of about years of age in the full enjoyment of the most exquisite beauty her golden hair floated in ringlets on her shoulders her hazle eyes were shaded by heavy lids and her mouth the lips apart seemed to breathe sensibility But she appeared thoughtful unhappy her cheek was pale she seemed as if accustomed to suffer and as if the lessons she now heard were the only words of wisdom to which she had ever listened The youth beside her had a far different aspect his form was emaciated nearly to a shadow his features were handsome but thin worn his eyes glistened as if animating the visage of decay his forehead was expansive but there was a doubt perplexity in his looks that seemed to say that although he had sought wisdom he had got entangled in some mysterious mazes from which he in vain endeavoured to extricate himself As Diotima spoke his colour went came with quick changes the flexible muscles of his countenance shewed every impression that his mind received he seemed one who in life had studied hard but whose feeble frame sunk beneath the weight of the mere exertion of life the spark of intelligence burned with uncommon strength within him but that of life seemed ever on the eve of fading At present I shall not describe any other of this groupe but with deep attention try to recall in my memory some of the words of Diotima they were words of fire but their path is faintly marked on my recollection It requires a just hand , said she continuing her discourse , to weigh divide the good from evil On the earth they are inextricably entangled and if you would cast away what there appears an evil a multitude of beneficial causes or effects cling to it mock your labour When I was on earth and have walked in a solitary country during the silence of night have beheld the multitude of stars , the soft radiance of the moon reflected on the sea , which was studded by lovely islands When I have felt the soft breeze steal across my cheek as the words of love it has soothed cherished me then my mind seemed almost to quit the body that confined it to the earth with a quick mental sense to mingle with the scene that I hardly saw I felt Then I have exclaimed , oh world how beautiful thou art Oh brightest universe behold thy worshiper spirit of beauty of sympathy which pervades all things , now lifts my soul as with wings , how have you animated the light the breezes Deep inexplicable spirit give me words to express my adoration ; my mind is hurried away but with language I can not tell how I feel thy loveliness Silence or the song of the nightingale the momentary apparition of some bird that flies quietly past all seems animated with thee more than all the deep sky studded with worlds '' If the winds roared tore the sea and the dreadful lightnings seemed falling around me still love was mingled with the sacred terror I felt ; the majesty of loveliness was deeply impressed on me So also I have felt when I have seen a lovely countenance or heard solemn music or the eloquence of divine wisdom flowing from the lips of one of its worshippers a lovely animal or even the graceful undulations of trees inanimate objects have excited in me the same deep feeling of love beauty ; a feeling which while it made me alive eager to seek the cause animator of the scene , yet satisfied me by its very depth as if I had already found the solution to my enquires sic as if in feeling myself a part of the great whole I had found the truth secret of the universe But when retired in my cell I have studied contemplated the various motions and actions in the world the weight of evil has confounded me If I thought of the creation I saw an eternal chain of evil linked one to the other from the great whale who in the sea swallows destroys multitudes the smaller fish that live on him also torment him to madness to the cat whose pleasure it is to torment her prey I saw the whole creation filled with pain each creature seems to exist through the misery of another death havoc is the watchword of the animated world And Man also even in Athens the most civilized spot on the earth what a multitude of mean passions envy , malice a restless desire to depreciate all that was great and good did I see And in the dominions of the great being I saw man reduced ?
The magistrate appeared at first perfectly incredulous , but as I continued he became more attentive and interested ; I saw him sometimes shudder with horror ; at others a lively surprise , unmingled with disbelief , was painted on his countenance .
He would talk of the wonderful powers of man , of their present state and of their hopes : of what they had been and what they were , and when reason could no longer guide him , his imagination as if inspired shed light on the obscurity that veils the past and the future .
I will not be put off thus : do you think that I can live thus fearfully from day to day the sword in my bosom yet kept from its mortal wound by a hair a word I demand that dreadful word ; though it be as a flash of lightning to destroy me , speak it .
Do not think that I shall be slow to perform this sacrifice .
Unsupported and weak , let him wander through fields where the unreaped corn stands in barren plenty , through copses planted by his fathers , through towns built for his use .
This idea was probably suggested by the extreme agitation I had exhibited when the mode of the murder had been described .
All the time he had passed out of England was as a dream , and all the interest of his soul , all his affections belonged to events which had happened and persons who had existed sixteen years before .
No , he had determined to die , and he wished to spare me the misery of knowing it .
`` You then , '' I asked , `` still remain in Greece ? '' `` Assuredly , '' replied Raymond .
He had chosen this work , he said , because the declamatory style was framed in imitation of the Eastern authors .
This letter was enclosed to the care of a nobleman , who , he did not doubt , would perform the last and inexpensive office of placing it in the king 's own hand .
Pestilence will usher you to his presence .
The knowledge of his success had become so much a part of himself , that he forgot that it was necessary to impart it to his companion .
I trembled from head to foot ; I felt a presentiment of who it was and wished to rouse one of the peasants who dwelt in a cottage not far from mine ; but I was overcome by the sensation of helplessness , so often felt in frightful dreams , when you in vain endeavour to fly from an impending danger , and was rooted to the spot .
The benches were very empty , those by custom occupied by the hereditary members were vacant ; the city members were there the members for the commercial towns , few landed proprietors , and not many of those who entered parliament for the sake of a career .
`` To morrow , '' said Raymond , `` his mother and sister set out for Scotland to see him once again . ''
You are cast out shelterless on the world : your hopes are blasted ; the peace and security of your pure mind destroyed ; memory will bring to you frightful images of guilt , and the anguish of innocent love betrayed .
Wealth was an inferior object , but what glory would attend the discovery if I could banish disease from the human frame and render man invulnerable to any but a violent death Nor were these my only visions .
For my own part , I do not hesitate to say that , notwithstanding all the evidence produced against her , I believe and rely on her perfect innocence .
As I spoke , my subject carried me away ; deep admiration ; grief , the offspring of truest affection , the overflowing of a heart bursting with sympathy for all that had been great and sublime in the career of my friend , inspired me as I poured forth the praises of Raymond .
Such a violet was sweet Perdita , trembling to entrust herself to the very air , cowering from observation , yet betrayed by her excellences ; and repaying with a thousand graces the labour of those who sought her in her lonely bye path .
`` The book from which Felix instructed Safie was Volney 's Ruins of Empires .
Our journey here lost the interest arising from beautiful scenery , but we arrived in a few days at Rotterdam , whence we proceeded by sea to England .
But a blight had come over my existence , and I only visited these people for the sake of the information they might give me on the subject in which my interest was so terribly profound .
She fed even to tears of joy on the praise and glory of her Lord ; her whole existence was one sacrifice to him , and if in the humility of her heart she felt self complacency , it arose from the reflection that she had won the distinguished hero of the age , and had for years preserved him , even after time had taken from love its usual nourishment .
Yet his manners are so conciliating and gentle that the sailors are all interested in him , although they have had very little communication with him .
They were fond of the sweet orphan .
The breeze scattered the grey locks on his temples , the rain drenched his uncovered head , he sat hiding his face in his withered hands .
With all the incongruities of his character , Raymond was emphatically a man of the world .
He looked round timidly ; a mist seemed before his eyes .
He perpetually frequented the walks that had been favourites with him when he and my mother wandered together talking of love and happiness ; he collected every relick that remained of her and always sat opposite her picture which hung in the room fixing on it a look of sad despair and all this was done in a mystic and awful silence .
They left me happy how unspeakably happy .
The paragraph was inserted in an obscure part : `` We regret to state that there can be no longer a doubt of the plague having been introduced at Leghorn , Genoa , and Marseilles . ''
But I consented to listen , and seating myself by the fire which my odious companion had lighted , he thus began his tale .
I have gazed on you as you slept , melted even to tears , as the idea filled my mind , that all I possessed lay cradled in those idolized , but mortal lineaments before me .
You are very young ; let not this check for more than a moment retard your glorious course ; hold on , beloved one .
Surely in that moment I should have been possessed by frenzy and have destroyed my miserable existence but that my vow was heard and that I was reserved for vengeance .
`` It gives me the greatest delight to see you ; but tell me how you left my father , brothers , and Elizabeth . ''
The presence of a friend in its armies and councils made us enter into the details with enthusiasm ; and a short letter now and then from Raymond told us how he was engrossed by the interests of his adopted country .
Chapter We passed a few sad hours until eleven o'clock , when the trial was to commence .
`` A few days after , the Turk entered his daughter 's apartment and told her hastily that he had reason to believe that his residence at Leghorn had been divulged and that he should speedily be delivered up to the French government ; he had consequently hired a vessel to convey him to Constantinople , for which city he should sail in a few hours .
The servants were gone to a neighbouring fair .
The war , which about a year before the present time had broken out between Greece and Turkey , brought about many reverses of fortune .
It was in the hey day of youth , in the pride of boyish folly .
They penetrate into the recesses of nature and show how she works in her hiding places .
The disquisitions upon death and suicide were calculated to fill me with wonder .
I fear that he will become an idler unless we yield the point and permit him to enter on the profession which he has selected .
`` This , my friend , is probably the last time we shall have an opportunity of conversing freely ; my plans are now in full operation , and my time will become more and more occupied .
`` Where are we ? '' she cried , `` where are we going ? ''
On the present occasion she did not suspect any alienation of affection ; but she conjectured that some circumstance connected with his high place , had occasioned this mystery .
Thus I stood upon a pinnacle , a sea of evil rolled at my feet ; I was about to precipitate myself into it , and rush like a torrent over all obstructions to the object of my wishes when a stranger influence came over the current of my fortunes , and changed their boisterous course to what was in comparison like the gentle meanderings of a meadow encircling streamlet .
Winter was hailed , a general and never failing physician .
`` I often visit him , '' replied Adrian ; `` but you may easily guess the motives , which prevent him from coming where his presence may annoy any one among us . ''
Lonely musings , interminable wanderings , and solemn music were her only pastimes .
But I have less courage than you and even thus accompanied I dare not die .
It is as the wood of the Eumenides none but the dying may enter ; and Oedipus is about to die .
Let these tears flow not for myself , happy and ungrateful as I am , but for the dead world for our lost country for all of love , and life , and joy , now choked in the dusty chambers of death . ''
I was a poor , uneducated , unbefriended , mountain girl , raised from nothingness by him .
Who has not seen the lightsome earth , the balmy atmosphere , and basking nature become dark , cold and ungenial , when the sleeping wind has awoke in the east ?
I did not accuse Evadne of hypocrisy or a wish to deceive her lover ; but the first letter that I saw of hers convinced me that she did not love him ; it was written with elegance , and , foreigner as she was , with great command of language .
In all our transactions with him our honour must be inviolate , the integrity of our relations untainted : fate and circumstance may , when he arrives at maturity , separate us for ever but , as his aegis in danger , his consolation in hardship , let the ardent youth for ever bear with him through the rough path of life , love and honour for his parents .
Raymond had been exalted by the determination he had made ; but with the declining day his spirits declined .
A fiend had snatched from me every hope of future happiness ; no creature had ever been so miserable as I was ; so frightful an event is single in the history of man .
She seemed to have formed his mind of that excellence which no dross can tarnish , and his understanding was such that no error could pervert .
But I can be the first to support and guard my country , now that terrific disasters and ruin have laid strong hands upon her .
His son was bred in the service of his country , and Agatha had ranked with ladies of the highest distinction .
A party of people flying from London , as was frequent in those days , had come up the Thames in a boat .
There was an air of anxiety , sometimes of terror in the new comers , strongly contrasted with the resigned and even satisfied mien of those who had had audience .
The powerful and unjust cowered at the steps of your judgment seat , and the poor and oppressed arose like morn awakened flowers under the sunshine of your protection .
Nay , more , that this aspiring noble revived the claim of the house of Windsor to the crown , and that , on the event of Adrian 's incurable disorder and his marriage with the sister , the brow of the ambitious Raymond might be encircled with the magic ring of regality .
He betook himself to books with ardour , and reposed from study in the society he best loved , that of his sister and myself .
At first he did not recur to the past , or indeed to any personal occurrences .
Each night I returned to the Castle , and found there repose and love awaiting me .
Rome , and Florence , and Pisa were overflowed , and their marble palaces , late mirrored in tranquil streams , had their foundations shaken by their winter gifted power .
Poor and rich were now equal , or rather the poor were the superior , since they entered on such tasks with alacrity and experience ; while ignorance , inaptitude , and habits of repose , rendered them fatiguing to the luxurious , galling to the proud , disgustful to all whose minds , bent on intellectual improvement , held it their dearest privilege to be exempt from attending to mere animal wants .
`` How cold and damp your hand is , '' said her friend ; `` you are over fatigued , pray hasten to rest . ''
In some degree , also , they diverted my mind from the thoughts over which it had brooded for the last month .
I had ridiculed the fears of my countrymen , when they related to others ; now that they came home to myself , I paused .
I was overcome by weariness ; the solitude depressed my spirits .
Others made long journies to unite themselves to those they loved , and arrived to find them dead .
`` This is what it is to live , '' he cried ; `` how I enjoy existence But you , my dear Frankenstein , wherefore are you desponding and sorrowful '' In truth , I was occupied by gloomy thoughts and neither saw the descent of the evening star nor the golden sunrise reflected in the Rhine .
`` Maybe you are come to a place that will not prove much to your taste , but you will not be consulted as to your quarters , I promise you . ''
That he should know of our existence , and treat us , near at hand , with the same contumely which his father had practised in distance and absence , appeared to me the certain consequence of all that had gone before .
I had watched this scene , for there was a gentleness about the poor woman that interested me ; she now tottered away from the door , walking as well as she could down Holborn Hill ; but her strength soon failed her ; she leaned against a wall , and her head sunk on her bosom , while her pallid cheek became still more white .
Our minds embrace infinity ; the visible mechanism of our being is subject to merest accident .
`` Happy are dreamers , '' he continued , `` so that they be not awakened Would I could dream but 'broad and garish day ' is the element in which I live ; the dazzling glare of reality inverts the scene for me .
The country in the neighbourhood of this village resembled , to a greater degree , the scenery of Switzerland ; but everything is on a lower scale , and the green hills want the crown of distant white Alps which always attend on the piny mountains of my native country .
All my speculations and hopes are as nothing , and like the archangel who aspired to omnipotence , I am chained in an eternal hell .
Farewell , Frankenstein If thou wert yet alive and yet cherished a desire of revenge against me , it would be better satiated in my life than in my destruction .
When we had parted , I had clasped her to my bosom with unrestrained warmth ; we met again , and new feelings were awakened ; when each beheld the other , childhood passed , as full grown actors on this changeful scene .
To examine the causes of life , we must first have recourse to death .
Nay , she seemed to wish to distract my thoughts from the subject : she rose from the floor : `` Hush '' she said , whisperingly ; `` after much weeping , Clara sleeps ; we must not disturb her . ''
Unaccustomed to industry , he knew not in what way to contribute to the support of his increasing family .
This news precipitated me from my self raised pinnacle of honour .
Loss of property , hopelessness as to his future prospects , the inoccupation to which poverty condemned him , combined to reduce him to a state bordering on insanity .
At that instant my father entered .
Unable to support the slow withering of her hopes , she suddenly formed a plan , resolving to terminate at once the period of misery , and to bring to an happy conclusion the late disastrous events .
If a feeling of dissatisfaction ever crossed her , it arose from the idea that he was not perfectly happy .
Shall I , in cool blood , set loose upon the earth a daemon whose delight is in death and wretchedness ?
Medical aid was less easily procured , food was more difficult to obtain , and human beings , unwithheld by shame , for they were unbeheld of their fellows , ventured on deeds of greater wickedness , or gave way more readily to their abject fears .
Monster as I am , you are still , as you ever were , lovely , beautiful beyond expression .
My eyes became accustomed to the light and to perceive objects in their right forms ; I distinguished the insect from the herb , and by degrees , one herb from another .
The time when in proud and happy security we assembled at this cottage , was gone soon the present hours would join those past , and shadows of future ones rose dark and menacing from the womb of time , their cradle and their bier .
But they tell us that the curse of God is on the place , for every one who has ventured within the walls has been tainted by the plague ; that this disease has spread in Thrace and Macedonia ; and now , fearing the virulence of infection during the coming heats , a cordon has been drawn on the frontiers of Thessaly , and a strict quarantine exacted . ''
The weather was temperate ; soft rains fell at night , and by day the wintry sun shone out .
Partly from curiosity and partly from idleness , I went into the lecturing room , which M. Waldman entered shortly after .
When in company , sadness would in spite of every effort steal over his features , and he sat absent and mute among the busy crowd that thronged about him .
`` Oh , Justine '' said she . `` Why did you rob me of my last consolation ?
The blood flowed freely in my veins , but a weight of despair and remorse pressed on my heart which nothing could remove .
I rambled away from them .
When it seemed destined that all were to die , we were reckless of the how and when now that the virulence of the disease was mitigated , and it appeared willing to spare some , each was eager to be among the elect , and clung to life with dastard tenacity .
I saw Raymond 's coal black charger brought to the palace gate ; a small company of officers arrived soon after ; care and fear was painted on each cheek , and in each eye , unrefreshed by sleep .
Perdita would not enter Athens ; but reposing at Marathon on the night of our arrival , conducted me on the following day , to the spot selected by her as the treasure house of Raymond 's dear remains .
Time shall rob me of the graces of maturity , shall take the fire from my eyes , and agility from my limbs , shall steal the better part of life , eager expectation and passionate love , and shower them in double portion on thy dear head .
I scrambled on , until I came to a street , whose wooden houses , half burnt , had been cooled by the rain , and were fortunately uninjured by the gunpowder .
She was like a fruitful soil that imbibed the airs and dews of heaven , and gave them forth again to light in loveliest forms of fruits and flowers ; but then she was often dark and rugged as that soil , raked up , and new sown with unseen seed .
Do you , my compassionate friend , tell me how to die peacefully and innocently and I will bless you : all that I , poor wretch , can desire is a painless death . ''
Perdita did not oppose herself to his determination .
I had no compass with me and was so slenderly acquainted with the geography of this part of the world that the sun was of little benefit to me .
I conjectured , therefore , that he found on the paper signs for speech which he understood , and I ardently longed to comprehend these also ; but how was that possible when I did not even understand the sounds for which they stood as signs ?
This imagination was dreadful in itself , but soothing inasmuch as it supposed the safety of my friends .
Idris leaned back in the carriage ; her two hands pressed mine , her countenance was placid , she seemed to lose the sense of what she now left , in the memory of what she still possessed .
As he said this he led the way across the ice ; I followed .
After watching over and providing for their safety , her second care was to hide from me her anguish and tears .
My child , if after this life I am permitted to see you again , if pain can purify the heart , mine will be pure : if remorse may expiate guilt , I shall be guiltless .
Does not the sun call in his light ?
When we arrived at Rodosto , we found that the field had been taken , and the scheme of the battle arranged .
He left college on this event and shaking off for a while his old friends he retired to the neighbourhood of his Diana and received all his consolation from her sweet voice and dearer caresses .
The first subject that occupied the attention of the house was an address from the Lord Protector , praying them to appoint a deputy during a necessary absence on his part .
The noisy joy of the populace , the gaudy colours of their dress , the tumult of carriages and horses , the march of soldiers intermixed , the waving of banners and sound of martial music added to the high excitement of the scene ; while round us reposed in solemn majesty the relics of antient time .
But then my plan must be laid with art ; I would not be left destitute , I must secure some money .
I committed the remains of my lost Perdita to his care , for the purpose of having them transported to Hymettus , and placed in the cell her Raymond already occupied beneath the pyramid .
Evadne did not answer ; her large dark eyes were cast down , at length a tear glimmered on the lashes .
I spoke ; I told them to retire and consider of what had been said , that I would not lead them farther north if they strenuously desired the contrary , but that I hoped that , with reflection , their courage would return .
No one at Windsor would afford them shelter ; so , going a little further up , they remained all night in a deserted hut near Bolter 's lock .
The young people , the Etonians , and children of the neighbouring gentry , held a mock fair , to which all the country people were invited .
The Countess cast no look of kindness on my worn out frame , though afterwards she thanked me coldly for my attentions .
Yet I am certainly unjust .
`` Have you , '' he said , `` really spent your time in studying such nonsense ? ''
Nor was it I alone who felt thus intimately his perfections .
Beaufort had saved but a very small sum of money from the wreck of his fortunes , but it was sufficient to provide him with sustenance for some months , and in the meantime he hoped to procure some respectable employment in a merchant 's house .
She had never before looked so supremely lovely .
My spirits were elevated by the enchanting appearance of nature ; the past was blotted from my memory , the present was tranquil , and the future gilded by bright rays of hope and anticipations of joy . ''
I called on him to stay .
After a residence of about a year at Ulswater , Adrian visited London , and came back full of plans for our benefit .
I could not sustain the horror of my situation , and when I perceived that the popular voice and the countenances of the judges had already condemned my unhappy victim , I rushed out of the court in agony .
With fonder regret than ever , he clung to his memory ; and gave it in charge to his son , if ever he should meet this valued friend , in his name to bestow every succour , and to assure him that , to the last , his attachment survived separation and silence .
The laughter died away , when a well known and abhorred voice , apparently close to my ear , addressed me in an audible whisper , `` I am satisfied , miserable wretch You have determined to live , and I am satisfied . ''
She sought solitude , and avoided us when in gaiety and unrestrained affection we met in a family circle .
I thought foolish wretch that it might be in my power to restore happiness to these deserving people .
No , my Raymond , my only beloved , sole possession of Perdita This night , this splendid assembly , these sumptuous apartments , and this adornment of your tearful girl , are all united to celebrate your abdication .
We called to mind the plague of , when it was calculated that a third of mankind had been destroyed .
I was one day seated on the verge of the clump of pines when Woodville rode past .
`` But soon , '' he cried with sad and solemn enthusiasm , `` I shall die , and what I now feel be no longer felt .
CHAPTER I . HEAR YOU not the rushing sound of the coming tempest ?
A few fishing vessels alone specked the water , and now and then the gentle breeze wafted the sound of voices as the fishermen called to one another .
Carriages and horses were provided for all ; captains and under officers chosen , and the whole assemblage wisely organized .
He , the noble , the warlike , the great in every quality that can adorn the mind and person of man ; he is fitted to be the Protector of England .
The time will soon come ; grief and famine have already sapped the foundations of my being ; a very short time , and I shall have passed away ; unstained by the crime of self destruction , unstung by the memory of degradation , my spirit will throw aside the miserable coil , and find such recompense as fortitude and resignation may deserve .
My first resolution was to quit Geneva forever ; my country , which , when I was happy and beloved , was dear to me , now , in my adversity , became hateful .
In this mood of mind I betook myself to the mathematics and the branches of study appertaining to that science as being built upon secure foundations , and so worthy of my consideration .
The spirit of gaiety was eclipsed ; the music ceased ; the young people left their occupations and gathered together .
I gave my assent to her request ; and she left me .
I smiled with quiet joy ; and in my thoughts , which through long habit would for ever connect themselves into one train , as if I shaped them into words , I thus addressed the scene before me : `` I salute thee , beautiful Sun , and thou , white Earth , fair and cold Perhaps I shall never see thee again covered with green , and the sweet flowers of the coming spring will blossom on my grave .
D Lord Byron CHAPTER V Nearly a year had past since my father 's return , and the seasons had almost finished their round It was now the end of May ; the woods were clothed in their freshest verdure , and the sweet smell of the new mown grass was in the fields .
During this interval , one of the servants , happening to examine the apparel she had worn on the night of the murder , had discovered in her pocket the picture of my mother , which had been judged to be the temptation of the murderer .
The poorer nobility hailed the return of sovereignty , as an event which would restore them to their power and rights , now lost .
Alas I regret that I am taken from you ; and , happy and beloved as I have been , is it not hard to quit you all ?
Felix soon learned that the treacherous Turk , for whom he and his family endured such unheard of oppression , on discovering that his deliverer was thus reduced to poverty and ruin , became a traitor to good feeling and honour and had quitted Italy with his daughter , insultingly sending Felix a pittance of money to aid him , as he said , in some plan of future maintenance .
The Earl of Windsor became a volunteer under his friend .
Did any one indeed exist , except I , the creator , who would believe , unless his senses convinced him , in the existence of the living monument of presumption and rash ignorance which I had let loose upon the world ?
I had before experienced sensations of horror , and I have endeavoured to bestow upon them adequate expressions , but words can not convey an idea of the heart sickening despair that I then endured .
I am now going to claim the protection of some friends , whom I sincerely love , and of whose favour I have some hopes . ' `` 'Are they Germans ? ' `` 'No , they are French .
Her sympathy was ours ; her smile , her soft voice , the sweet glance of her celestial eyes , were ever there to bless and animate us .
`` Several changes of day and night passed , and the orb of night had greatly lessened , when I began to distinguish my sensations from each other .
She joined the hands of Elizabeth and myself .
The feeble and decrepid fled ; the warriors retreated , though they threatened even in flight .
Clerval spent the last evening with us .
The wind , which had fallen in the south , now rose with great violence in the west .
To be worthy of her , to raise myself to her height through the exertion of talents and virtue , to repay her love with devoted , unwearied tenderness , were the only thanks I could offer for the matchless gift .
Youths , nobles of the land , performed for the sake of mother or sister , the services of menials with amiable cheerfulness .
She rose on seeing us enter , and when we were left alone with her , she threw herself at the feet of Elizabeth , weeping bitterly .
Sweet and beloved Elizabeth I read and reread her letter , and some softened feelings stole into my heart and dared to whisper paradisiacal dreams of love and joy ; but the apple was already eaten , and the angel 's arm bared to drive me from all hope .
Felix replied in a cheerful accent , and the old man was recommencing his music when someone tapped at the door .
She called to mind how often he had declared that solitude was to him the greatest of all evils , and how death itself was to him more full of fear and pain when he pictured to himself a lonely grave .
Adieu , my dear Margaret .
Her cheek was flushed by the expectation of struggle ; her eyes sparkled with the hope of triumph .
Let us rather go out to meet it gallantly : or perhaps for all this pendulous orb , this fair gem in the sky 's diadem , is not surely plague striken perhaps , in some secluded nook , amidst eternal spring , and waving trees , and purling streams , we may find Life .
I shall no longer see the sun or stars or feel the winds play on my cheeks .
Every day some new scene occured and displayed in him a mind working as it were with an unknown horror that now he could master but which at times threatened to overturn his reason , and to throw the bright seat of his intelligence into a perpetual chaos .
`` When I reflect , my dear cousin , '' said she , `` on the miserable death of Justine Moritz , I no longer see the world and its works as they before appeared to me .
But his understanding , his charity , his virtues , want a field for exercise and display ; and we will procure it for him .
She felt as if during her past calm she had dreamed , but was now awake ; she was As one In some lone watch tower on the deep , awakened From soothing visions of the home he loves , Trembling to hear the wrathful billows roar ; as one who has been cradled by a storm , and awakes to find the vessel sinking .
But the thing was now going too far .
I knew that it was possible that your suspicions might be excited ; but I trusted that my simple word would cause them to disappear .
Could there be guilt in it ?
I jumped into the boat , and well accustomed to such feats , I pushed it from shore , and exerted all my strength to row swiftly across .
Verney , you will acknowledge this tie , and as my brother 's friend , I feel that I may trust you . ''
He was no longer bent to the ground , like an over nursed flower of spring , that , shooting up beyond its strength , is weighed down even by its own coronal of blossoms .
A short month has destroyed a village , and where in May the first person sickened , in June the paths were deformed by unburied corpses the houses tenantless , no smoke arising from the chimneys ; and the housewife 's clock marked only the hour when death had been triumphant .
In securing solicitously an unobserved retreat in case of failure , Raymond had forgotten to arrange the mode by which she was to hear of his success ; and she had been too much agitated to revert to this circumstance .
With earnest gaze she looked on the labyrinth of smoking piles which had been a city , and then expressed her readiness to return home .
The men filled the mosques ; the women , veiled , hastened to the tombs , and carried offerings to the dead , thus to preserve the living .
I had before visited the manor houses and gentlemen 's seats , and often found the inhabitants actuated by the purest benevolence , ready to lend their utmost aid for the welfare of their tenants .
He walked on first , carrying a part of the fishing tackle , and his companions followed him at some distance .
This had been the secret of his secession at the time of Lord Raymond 's election .
`` But Paradise Lost excited different and far deeper emotions .
He would talk in a cheerful accent , with an expression of goodness that bestowed pleasure even upon me .
To be present at the election of a Protector , and to give our yea or nay for his shuffling Grace of ? or for that noisy Ryland ?
She was no longer that happy creature who in earlier youth wandered with me on the banks of the lake and talked with ecstasy of our future prospects .
Man , no longer with an appetite for sympathy , clothed his thoughts in visible signs ; nor were there any readers left : while each one , having thrown away his sword with opposing shield alone , awaited the plague , Merrival talked of the state of mankind six thousand years hence .
But he was ardent and tender of heart beyond the common nature of man , and had already learnt to love , while the beauteous Greek smiled benignantly on the boy .
Even now my blood boils at the recollection of this injustice .
The Countess again came to her daughter 's bedside : `` In Austria at least , '' she said , `` you will obey .
But even human sympathies were not sufficient to satisfy his eager mind .
Our Lazzeroni bore flaring torches , which shone red , and almost dusky , in the murky subterranean passages , whose darkness thirstily surrounding them , seemed eager to imbibe more and more of the element of light .
`` Common affection might have been satisfied with common usages .
In obedience to my request Perdita detailed the melancholy circumstances that led to this event .
I read and studied the wild fancies of these writers with delight ; they appeared to me treasures known to few besides myself .
He seemed incapable of conceiving of the full extent of the power that selfishness vice possesses in the world : when I knew him , although he had suffered disappointment in his dearest hopes , he had not experienced any that arose from the meaness and self love of men : his station was too high to allow of his suffering through their hardheartedness ; and too low for him to have experienced ingratitude and encroaching selfishness : it is one of the blessings of a moderate fortune , that by preventing the possessor from confering pecuniary favours it prevents him also from diving into the arcana of human weakness or malice To bestow on your fellow men is a Godlike attribute So indeed it is and as such not one fit for mortality ; the giver like Adam and Prometheus , must pay the penalty of rising above his nature by being the martyr to his own excellence .
`` He is safe '' said Idris , as he leapt on shore , and waved the bough over his head in token of success ; `` we will wait for him here . ''
Was it not enough that we must die , but toil must be added ?
A step approached her bed , she dared not move , she strove to calm her palpitations , which became more violent , when she heard her mother say mutteringly , `` Pretty simpleton , little do you think that your game is already at an end for ever . ''
A thousand times would I have shed my own blood , drop by drop , to have saved their lives ; but I could not , my father , indeed I could not sacrifice the whole human race . ''
It may therefore be judged indecent in me to come forward on this occasion , but when I see a fellow creature about to perish through the cowardice of her pretended friends , I wish to be allowed to speak , that I may say what I know of her character .
She replied with earnestness , `` I do not refuse to believe you , Raymond ; on the contrary I promise to put implicit faith in your simple word .
And again she heard , `` She will not wake till late to morrow , and we shall then be at sea . '' `` All is ready , '' at length the woman announced .
I took the hand of Elizabeth .
Half insanely I spoke to the dead .
He foresaw that his own life would be one of struggle , and I must partake his labours with him .
They kept better watch ; I was taken , and sent to prison .
Wordsworth 's `` Tintern Abbey '' .
The fresh air revived me , and with renewed determination I approached the door of their cottage .
Nations , bordering on the already infected countries , began to enter upon serious plans for the better keeping out of the enemy .
I might have deceived you ; I might have talked of remaining here only a few months ; in your anxiety to reach Windsor you would have left me , and without reproach or contention , I might have pursued my plan .
There is something terribly appalling in our situation , yet my courage and hopes do not desert me .
Her unhappiness assumed every day a new shape ; every day some unexpected event seemed to close , while in fact it led onward , the train of calamities which now befell her .
The passage , which at first scarcely admitted us , quickly grew narrower and lower ; we were almost bent double ; yet still we persisted in making our way through it .
As I could not pass through the town , I was obliged to cross the lake in a boat to arrive at Plainpalais .
My rage was without bounds ; I sprang on him , impelled by all the feelings which can arm one being against the existence of another .
I strained my sight to discover what it could be and uttered a wild cry of ecstasy when I distinguished a sledge and the distorted proportions of a well known form within . Oh With what a burning gush did hope revisit my heart Warm tears filled my eyes , which I hastily wiped away , that they might not intercept the view I had of the daemon ; but still my sight was dimmed by the burning drops , until , giving way to the emotions that oppressed me , I wept aloud .
At such times the king , in his enthusiasm for him , would come to his relief , and then kindly take his friend to task ; my father gave the best promises for amendment , but his social disposition , his craving for the usual diet of admiration , and more than all , the fiend of gambling , which fully possessed him , made his good resolutions transient , his promises vain .
Attend , O reader while I narrate this tale of wonders One day as Adrian and Idris were riding through the forest , with their mother and accustomed companions , Idris , drawing her brother aside from the rest of the cavalcade , suddenly asked him , `` What had become of his friend , Lionel Verney ? '' `` Even from this spot , '' replied Adrian , pointing to my sister 's cottage , `` you can see his dwelling . ''
She sat upon the ground absorbed in wordless despair , when through the gusty wind and bickering rain she thought she heard her name called .
As it drew nearer I observed that it was the Swiss diligence ; it stopped just where I was standing , and on the door being opened , I perceived Henry Clerval , who , on seeing me , instantly sprung out .
He endeavoured to soothe me as a nurse does a child and reverted to my tale as the effects of delirium .
Men who before this change seemed to have been hid in caves dispersed themselves and were employed in various arts of cultivation .
I strove to quiet the eager dancing of my heart ; I turned from her my eyes , beaming with too much tenderness , and proudly , to dark night , and the inclement atmosphere , murmured the expressions of my transport .
`` I fear , my beloved girl , '' I said , `` little happiness remains for us on earth ; yet all that I may one day enjoy is centred in you .
When he had in some measure recovered , I removed him to my own cabin and attended on him as much as my duty would permit .
The strange and romantic scheme of her mother , might confirm and perpetuate the painful view of life , which had intruded itself thus early on her contemplation .
He endeavoured to guide with prudence the steeds of destiny through the devious road which he had chosen , and bent all his efforts the better to conceal what he could not alter .
She grieved for the loss of Raymond with an anguish , that exiled all smile from her lips , and trenched sad lines on her brow of beauty .
A sudden break was made in the routine of our lives .
A servant in Geneva does not mean the same thing as a servant in France and England .
The castle walls , and long familiar trees , did not hear the parting sound of our carriage wheels with regret .
A woman deposed that she lived near the beach and was standing at the door of her cottage , waiting for the return of the fishermen , about an hour before she heard of the discovery of the body , when she saw a boat with only one man in it push off from that part of the shore where the corpse was afterwards found .
He looked up to her as his guide , and such was his adoration that he delighted to augment to his own mind the sense of inferiority with which she sometimes impressed him .
That consideration made me breathless with anguish , and impressing itself on my imagination I was unable for a time to follow up any train of ideas .
His depression and anxiety fled ; he became all life and activity .
`` I continued for the remainder of the day in my hovel in a state of utter and stupid despair .
I always required the stimulants of companionship and applause .
I only wonder that at that moment , instead of venting my sensations in exclamations and agony , I did not rush among mankind and perish in the attempt to destroy them .
Her tall slim figure bent gracefully as a poplar to the breezy west , and her gait , goddess like , was as that of a winged angel new alit from heaven 's high floor ; the pearly fairness of her complexion was stained by a pure suffusion ; her voice resembled the low , subdued tenor of a flute .
Just at this time Adrian came down to us ; his eager looks shewed us that he was full of some scheme .
When I looked around I saw and heard of none like me .
He gave orders for the retreat to be sounded , and the regiments repaired in good order to the camp .
The English for the most part talked of Thrace and Macedonia , as they would of a lunar territory , which , unknown to them , presented no distinct idea or interest to the minds .
A few months before my arrival they had lived in a large and luxurious city called Paris , surrounded by friends and possessed of every enjoyment which virtue , refinement of intellect , or taste , accompanied by a moderate fortune , could afford .
Clerval had never sympathized in my tastes for natural science ; and his literary pursuits differed wholly from those which had occupied me .
Raymond repeated his instructions , and the visitor retired .
A human being in perfection ought always to preserve a calm and peaceful mind and never to allow passion or a transitory desire to disturb his tranquillity .
Sometimes I thought that the fiend followed me and might expedite my remissness by murdering my companion .
I know , though she does not , how false the veil is which she has spread over the reality do not endeavour to rend this deceptive covering , but by degrees withdraw it .
But this was the best side of the question .
But it refreshed me and filled me with such agreeable sensations that I resolved to prolong my stay on the water , and fixing the rudder in a direct position , stretched myself at the bottom of the boat .
As he said this his countenance became expressive of a calm , settled grief that touched me to the heart .
How dare you sport thus with life ?
One living beggar had become of more worth than a national peerage of dead lords alas the day than of dead heroes , patriots , or men of genius .
We are not formed for enjoyment ; and , however we may be attuned to the reception of pleasureable emotion , disappointment is the never failing pilot of our life 's bark , and ruthlessly carries us on to the shoals .
There were no carriages , and grass had sprung high in the streets ; the houses had a desolate look ; most of the shutters were closed ; and there was a ghast and frightened stare in the persons I met , very different from the usual business like demeanour of the Londoners .
She felt struck by the plague ; her aged frame was unable to bear her away with sufficient speed ; and now , believing herself infected , she no longer dreaded the association of others ; but , as swiftly as she might , came to her grand daughter , at Windsor Castle , there to lament and die .
He soon reached the summit , and disappeared .
The spirit of existence was dead within me ; be not surprised therefore that when it came I welcomed not more gladly , or when it departed I lamented not more bitterly the best gift of heaven a friend .
I procured Laudanum and placing it in two glasses on the table , filled my room with flowers and decorated the last scene of my tragedy with the nicest care .
But the consideration of these points , and the well balancing of what you may esteem your duties , I leave to you ; my judgment and ideas are already disturbed by the near approach of death .
They ascend into the heavens ; they have discovered how the blood circulates , and the nature of the air we breathe .
Alas , poor country ; Almost afraid to know itself It can not Be called our mother , but our grave : where nothing , But who knows nothing , is once seen to smile ; Where sighs , and groans , and shrieks that rent the air , Are made , not marked ; where violent sorrow seems A modern extasy : the dead man 's knell Is there scarce asked , for who ; and good men 's lives Expire before the flowers in their caps , Dying , or ere they sicken .
My convalescence rapidly advanced , yet this was the thought that haunted me , and I was for ever forming plans how I might hereafter contrive to escape the tortures that were prepared for me when I should mix in society , and to find that solitude which alone could suit one whom an untold grief seperated from her fellow creatures .
The young are seldom in Elysium , for their desires , outstripping possibility , leave them as poor as a moneyless debtor .
By Heaven the first tears I have shed since boyhood rushed scalding into my eyes when I saw him . ''
His voice became fainter as he spoke , and at length , exhausted by his effort , he sank into silence .
Shriek , ye clarions ye loud trumpets , howl Pile dirge on dirge ; rouse the funereal chords ; let the air ring with dire wailing ; let wild discord rush on the wings of the wind Already I hear it , while guardian angels , attendant on humanity , their task achieved , hasten away , and their departure is announced by melancholy strains ; faces all unseemly with weeping , forced open my lids ; faster and faster many groups of these woe begone countenances thronged around , exhibiting every variety of wretchedness well known faces mingled with the distorted creations of fancy .
One day , when my father had gone by himself to Milan , my mother , accompanied by me , visited this abode .
I must fly from him with more earnestness than from my greatest enemy : in solitude or in cities I must never more behold him .
Elizabeth also wept and was unhappy , but hers also was the misery of innocence , which , like a cloud that passes over the fair moon , for a while hides but can not tarnish its brightness .
Look not on the star , dear love , or do , and let that eternal spark plead for me ; let it be my witness and my advocate , silent as it shines love is to me as light to the star ; even so long as that is uneclipsed by annihilation , so long shall I love you . ''
We saw Tilbury Fort and remembered the Spanish Armada , Gravesend , Woolwich , and Greenwich places which I had heard of even in my country .
But so blind is the experience of man that what I conceived to be the best assistants to my plan may have entirely destroyed it .
I came out , my morals unimproved , my hatred to my oppressors encreased tenfold .
Clara got rid also of her restraint ; Adrian and she had been old playfellows ; and now , as they walked or rode together , he yielded to her earnest entreaty , and repeated , for the hundredth time , some tale of her father 's bravery , munificence , or justice .
Did you not call this a glorious expedition ?
Quito was destroyed by an earthquake .
Her expectations had been strongly excited ; she had urged nothing against our project , on the contrary , she was evidently pleased by it ; but its evident ill success changed the current of her ideas .
I am prepared , so that I leave behind a trail of light so radiant , that my worst enemies can not cloud it .
I called it rapture , when a smile made my heart beat ; and I felt the life 's blood tingle in my frame , when I approached the idol which for awhile I worshipped .
I could no longer attend to my occupations ; all my plans and devices were forgotten ; I seemed about to begin life anew , and that under no good auspices .
Promise me secrecy however ; for if you will not contribute to my success , at least you must not baffle me . '' `` Well , I promise .
They hardly know how ill you have been and are uneasy at your long silence . ''
The summer sun shone in an unclouded sky ; the air was close but all was cool to me except my own scorching skin .
Bitter task was it , to behold his spirit waver between death and life : to see his warm cheek , and know that the very fire which burned too fiercely there , was consuming the vital fuel ; to hear his moaning voice , which might never again articulate words of love and wisdom ; to witness the ineffectual motions of his limbs , soon to be wrapt in their mortal shroud .
Alas I did not yet entirely know the fatal effects of this miserable deformity .
But these were few , in comparison to the numbers who actually crossed .
`` The repetition would be useless , '' said Raymond , `` since I well remember them , and have many others , self suggested , which speak with unanswerable persuasion . ''
Gratitude and praise marked where her footsteps had been .
Their intercourse continued .
Alas Why did they preserve so miserable and detested a life ?
I paused to collect myself and then entered the chamber .
Be it light with him when it is darkness with me Let him feel the sun of summer while I am chilled by the snows of winter Let there be the distance of the antipodes between us At length the east began to brighten , and the comfortable light of morning streamed into my room .
And yet I dared not request him to use his influence that I might obtain an honourable provision for myself for then I should have been obliged to leave Windsor .
Yet though lovely and full of noble feeling , my poor Perdita for this was the fanciful name my sister had received from her dying parent , was not altogether saintly in her disposition .
`` How can I move thee ?
If some scene of tremendous agony shook my frame and fevered my brow , I would lay my head on the lap of Idris , and the tumultuous pulses subsided into a temperate flow her smile could raise me from hopelessness , her embrace bathe my sorrowing heart in calm peace .
There was the spirited and obedient steed which Lord Raymond had given his daughter ; there was Alfred 's dog and a pet eagle , whose sight was dimmed through age .
I read it , as I had read the other volumes which had fallen into my hands , as a true history .
Yet at this time , with human fondness , she clung to all that her human senses permitted her to see and feel to be a part of Raymond .
In spite of the misery I deprecated , and could not understand ; in spite of the cold hearths of wide London , and the corpse strewn fields of my native land ; in spite of all the variety of agonizing emotions I had that evening experienced , I thought that in reply to our melodious adjurations , the Creator looked down in compassion and promise of relief ; the awful peal of the heaven winged music seemed fitting voice wherewith to commune with the Supreme ; calm was produced by its sound , and by the sight of many other human creatures offering up prayers and submission with me .
When he was silent I tried to divert him , and when sometimes I stole to him during the energy of his passion I wept but did not desire to leave him .
`` God knows , '' she said , `` how entirely I am innocent .
If the monster executed his threat , death was inevitable ; yet , again , I considered whether my marriage would hasten my fate .
Evadne was eighteen years of age .
I might waste days in describing how anxiously I watched every change of fleeting circumstance that promised better days , and with what despair I found that each effort of mine aggravated his seeming madness .
Orphans , in the fullest sense of the term , we were poorest among the poor , and despised among the unhonoured .
When these circumstances were reported to Raymond , he caused minute observations to be made as to what was doing within the walls , and when his scouts returned , reporting only the continued silence and desolation of the city , he commanded the army to be drawn out before the gates .
Daedalus never wound so inextricable an error round Minotaur , as madness has woven about his imprisoned reason .
Methought that , Adrian withdrawn from active life , and this beauteous Idris , a victim probably to her mother 's ambitious schemes , I ought to come forward to protect her from undue influence , guard her from unhappiness , and secure to her freedom of choice , the right of every human being .
In answer to our eager questions , one word alone fell , as it were involuntarily , from his convulsed lips : The Plague .
I shall continue my journal concerning the stranger at intervals , should I have any fresh incidents to record .
Strange to say the result perhaps of the concussion of air occasioned by the blowing up of the city huge , white thunder clouds lifted themselves up from the southern horizon , and gathered over head ; they were the first blots on the blue expanse that I had seen for months , and amidst this havoc and despair they inspired pleasure .
Tears streamed from my eyes .
I know of no opportunity afforded him for so doing ; or , if I had , why should he have stolen the jewel , to part with it again so soon ?
I mentioned this to Perdita .
The sailors on watch rushed to the side of the vessel , with the cry some one gone overboard .
When the seasons have become equal , when the air breeds no disorders , when its surface is no longer liable to blights and droughts , then sickness will cease ; when men 's passions are dead , poverty will depart .
There was one man , he continued , who wished to alter all this , and bring us back to our days of impotence and contention : one man , who would dare arrogate the honour which was due to all who claimed England as their birthplace , and set his name and style above the name and style of his country .
Her love gave birth to sympathy ; her intelligence made her understand him at a word ; her powers of intellect enabled her to assist and guide him .
But an earthquake had changed the scene under our very feet the earth yawned deep and precipitous the gulph below opened to receive us , while the hours charioted us towards the chasm .
It was as I said , the nineteenth of October ; the autumn was far advanced and dreary .
`` Indeed it does , Lionel , '' she replied ; `` I quite long to see him ; he is the descendant of our kings , the first noble of the land : every one admires and loves him , and they say that his rank is his least merit ; he is generous , brave , and affable . ''
I rambled amidst the wild scenery of this lovely country and became a complete mountaineer : I passed hours on the steep brow of a mountain that overhung a waterfall or rowed myself in a little skiff to some one of the islands .
But it was winter now , and months must elapse before we are hurled from our security .
But that my firm courage and cheerful exertions might shelter the dear mate , whom I chose in the spring of my life ; though the throbbings of my heart be replete with pain , though my hopes for the future are chill , still while your dear head , my gentlest love , can repose in peace on that heart , and while you derive from its fostering care , comfort , and hope , my struggles shall not cease , I will not call myself altogether vanquished .
She told me , that that same evening William had teased her to let him wear a very valuable miniature that she possessed of your mother .
They should not die first I would be gathered to nothingness , ere infection should come anear these idols of my soul .
One instance of this kind came immediately under our notice , where a high born girl had in early youth given her heart to one of meaner extraction .
`` This is better , Mamma , '' said Clara , `` than being in that dismal London , where you often cry , and never laugh as you do now . ''
She perished on the scaffold as a murderess From the tortures of my own heart , I turned to contemplate the deep and voiceless grief of my Elizabeth .
Love had come , as the rod of the master prophet , to swallow up every minor propensity .
The pause was but for a moment ; the flood of association and natural feeling which had been checked , again rushed in full tide upon our hearts , and with tenderest emotion we were swiftly locked in each other 's embrace .
A sister or a brother can never , unless indeed such symptoms have been shown early , suspect the other of fraud or false dealing , when another friend , however strongly he may be attached , may , in spite of himself , be contemplated with suspicion .
It was after my return from one of these rambles that my father , calling me aside , thus addressed me , `` I am happy to remark , my dear son , that you have resumed your former pleasures and seem to be returning to yourself .
`` The days now passed as peaceably as before , with the sole alteration that joy had taken place of sadness in the countenances of my friends .
With him went enthusiasm , the high wrought resolve , the eye that without blenching could look at death .
This ironical tone was discord to my bursting , over boiling heart ; I was nettled by his insolence , and replied with bitterness ; `` There is a spirit , neither angel or devil , damned to limbo merely . ''
Clara had passed the age which , from its mute ignorance , was the source of the fears of Idris .
M. Waldman inflicted torture when he praised , with kindness and warmth , the astonishing progress I had made in the sciences .
She looked at the hand writing , which she could not mistake , and repeated to herself the words `` Do not , I charge you , I entreat you , permit your guests to wonder at my absence : '' the while the old crone going on with her talk , filled her ear with a strange medley of truth and falsehood .
We feared the balmy air we feared the cloudless sky , the flower covered earth , and delightful woods , for we looked on the fabric of the universe no longer as our dwelling , but our tomb , and the fragrant land smelled to the apprehension of fear like a wide church yard .
Arrived at the same point of the world 's age there was no difference in us ; the name of parent and child had lost their meaning ; young boys and girls were level now with men .
This winter has been passed most miserably , tortured as I have been by anxious suspense ; yet I hope to see peace in your countenance and to find that your heart is not totally void of comfort and tranquillity .
The road ran by the side of the lake , which became narrower as I approached my native town .
I distinguished several other words without being able as yet to understand or apply them , such as 'good , ' 'dearest , ' 'unhappy . '
It was one which could not fail to impress itself deeply on my mind , unfolding as it did a number of circumstances , each interesting and wonderful to one so utterly inexperienced as I was .
The servant instantly showed it to one of the others , who , without saying a word to any of the family , went to a magistrate ; and , upon their deposition , Justine was apprehended .
Encouraged by this encomium , I proceeded , in answer to his inquiries , to relate what I remembered of my parent ; and he gave an account of those circumstances which had brought about a neglect of my father 's testamentary letter .
This idea was intolerably painful to him .
No one can conceive the anguish I suffered during the remainder of the night , which I spent , cold and wet , in the open air .
The veil must be thicker than that invented by Turkish jealousy ; the wall higher than the unscaleable tower of Vathek , which should conceal from her the workings of his heart , and hide from her view the secret of his actions .
When I had ceased to weep reason and memory returned upon me , and I began to reflect with greater calmness on what had happened , and how it became me to act A few hours only had passed but a mighty revolution had taken place with regard to me the natural work of years had been transacted since the morning : my father was as dead to me , and I felt for a moment as if he with white hairs were laid in his coffin and I youth vanished in approaching age , were weeping at his timely dissolution .
I wish to soothe him , yet can I counsel one so infinitely miserable , so destitute of every hope of consolation , to live ?
Might he not many , many years hence , when age had quenched the burning sensations that he now experienced , might he not then be again a father to me ?
When the fever of my young life is spent ; when placid age shall tame the vulture that devours me , friendship may come , love and hope being dead .
I can not say with what passion I loved every thing even the inanimate objects that surrounded me .
It became a question whether he had fallen among the unrecognized ; but no broken ornament or stained trapping betrayed his fate .
He was seldom at the palace ; never , but when he was assured that his public duties would prevent his remaining alone with Perdita .
He had sworn to quit the neighbourhood of man and hide himself in deserts , but she had not ; and she , who in all probability was to become a thinking and reasoning animal , might refuse to comply with a compact made before her creation .
You hold forth your hand ; it is even as a part of yourself ; and you do not yet divide the feeling of identity from the mortal form that shapes forth Lionel .
Thus I might proclaim myself a madman , but not revoke the sentence passed upon my wretched victim .
She fell , however , into good hands .
Posterity became my heirs .
These sublime and magnificent scenes afforded me the greatest consolation that I was capable of receiving .
I continued : `` This poor wretch is deserted , dying , succourless ; in these unhappy times , God knows how soon any or all of us may be in like want .
I burned with rage to pursue the murderer of my peace and precipitate him into the ocean .
His countenance instantly assumed an aspect of the deepest gloom , and he replied , `` To seek one who fled from me . '' `` And did the man whom you pursued travel in the same fashion ? ''
And if these were my sensations , who can describe those of Henry ?
The king , who was a man of excellent dispositions , but easily led , had now become a willing disciple of his imperious consort .
Was the coming painful ?
`` I can not describe to you the agony that these reflections inflicted upon me ; I tried to dispel them , but sorrow only increased with knowledge .
One sheet of white covered it , while bitter recollection told me that cold as the winter clothed earth , were the hearts of the inhabitants .
They looked at the pictures , strolled into the other apartments , talked of billiards , and one by one vanished .
When I awoke it rained : I was already quite wet , and my limbs were stiff and my head giddy with the chill of night .
How kind , how very kind But where is he , why does he not hasten to me ? '' My change of manner surprised and pleased the magistrate ; perhaps he thought that my former exclamation was a momentary return of delirium , and now he instantly resumed his former benevolence .
What had been hardly won , was now , entirely possessed , doubly dear .
They left me in an hour 's time .
Through long habit they had become a part of himself ; his want of worldly knowledge , his absence of mind and infant guilelessness , made him utterly dependent on them .
I am already far north of London , and as I walk in the streets of Petersburgh , I feel a cold northern breeze play upon my cheeks , which braces my nerves and fills me with delight .
All the genius that ennobled the blood of her father illustrated hers ; a generous tide flowed in her veins ; artifice , envy , or meanness , were at the antipodes of her nature ; her countenance , when enlightened by amiable feeling , might have belonged to a queen of nations ; her eyes were bright ; her look fearless .
From this time a new spirit of life animated the decaying frame of the stranger .
But the appearance of my father was to me like that of my good angel , and I gradually recovered my health .
She now took pleasure in my society ; towards Idris she felt and displayed a full and affectionate sense of her worth she restored to her child in abundant measure her tenderness and care .
I have one secret , Elizabeth , a dreadful one ; when revealed to you , it will chill your frame with horror , and then , far from being surprised at my misery , you will only wonder that I survive what I have endured .
As manhood dawned upon him , his schemes and theories , far from being changed by personal and prudential motives , acquired new strength from the powers he felt arise within him ; and his love for Evadne became deep rooted , as he each day became more certain that the path he pursued was full of difficulty , and that he must seek his reward , not in the applause or gratitude of his fellow creatures , hardly in the success of his plans , but in the approbation of his own heart , and in her love and sympathy , which was to lighten every toil and recompence every sacrifice .
`` My brother , '' she cried , `` protector of my childhood , dear , most dear Lionel , my fate hangs by a thread .
Yet active life was the genuine soil for his virtues ; and he sometimes suffered tedium from the monotonous succession of events in our retirement .
I hastily gave my consent to this arrangement , and as hastily formed a plan through which Perdita should be forced to become my companion .
I no longer exhaust my miserable heart by bitter tears and frantic complaints ; I no longer the sic reproach the sun , the earth , the air , for pain and wretchedness .
The latter part of his tale had kindled anew in me the anger that had died away while he narrated his peaceful life among the cottagers , and as he said this I could no longer suppress the rage that burned within me .
The pines are not tall or luxuriant , but they are sombre and add an air of severity to the scene .
In the university whither I was going I must form my own friends and be my own protector .
The pomp of rank , the assumption of power , the possessions of wealth vanished like morning mist .
This action of Adrian provoked me .
`` When the news reached Leghorn that Felix was deprived of his wealth and rank , the merchant commanded his daughter to think no more of her lover , but to prepare to return to her native country .
But we must live , and not act our lives ; pursuing the shadow , I lost the reality now I renounce both .
Well , we removed to London , and still I felt only the peace of sinless passion .
What is it you fear ? '' `` Oh Peace , peace , my love , '' replied I ; `` this night , and all will be safe ; but this night is dreadful , very dreadful . ''
Sometimes he commanded his countenance and tones and related the most horrible incidents with a tranquil voice , suppressing every mark of agitation ; then , like a volcano bursting forth , his face would suddenly change to an expression of the wildest rage as he shrieked out imprecations on his persecutor .
The little patches of snow which yet lingered on the northern sides of the mountains , the lakes , and the dashing of the rocky streams were all familiar and dear sights to me .
Adrian was on horseback ; he rode up to the carriage , and his gaiety , in addition to that of Raymond , dispelled my sister 's melancholy .
Were your sister indeed the insignificant person she deserves to be , I would willingly leave her to the fate , the wretched fate , of the wife of a man , whose very person , resembling as it does his wretched father , ought to remind you of the folly and vice it typifies but remember , Lady Idris , it is not alone the once royal blood of England that colours your veins , you are a Princess of Austria , and every life drop is akin to emperors and kings .
No delay was to ensue .
Again she looked at the ring , it was a small ruby , almost heart shaped , which she had herself given him .
The season was May , the weather stormless ; we were promised a prosperous voyage .
He might remain in Switzerland and wreak his vengeance on my relatives .
It was agreed that , immediately after our union , we should proceed to Villa Lavenza and spend our first days of happiness beside the beautiful lake near which it stood .
The sprightly parties broke up they assembled in whispering groups .
My affections were human ; hope and love were the day stars of my life .
Clerval at first attributed my unusual spirits to joy on his arrival , but when he observed me more attentively , he saw a wildness in my eyes for which he could not account , and my loud , unrestrained , heartless laughter frightened and astonished him .
He quickly arranged with the Turk that if the latter should find a favourable opportunity for escape before Felix could return to Italy , Safie should remain as a boarder at a convent at Leghorn ; and then , quitting the lovely Arabian , he hastened to Paris and delivered himself up to the vengeance of the law , hoping to free De Lacey and Agatha by this proceeding .
With an heavy heart I entered the palace , and stood fearful to advance , to speak , to look .
Often all sounds were suspended , that we might listen to the nightingale , while the fire flies danced in bright measure , and the soft cooing of the aziolo spoke of fair weather to the travellers .
But , if you are seen thus strangely circumstanced , dear Idris , even now your enemies may learn your flight too soon : were it not better that I hired the chaise alone ?
Our friend resolved however not to be foiled in his wish .
My senses were gratified and refreshed by a thousand scents of delight and a thousand sights of beauty .
In a moment she was in his arms .
I dare not hope that I have inspired you with sufficient interest that the thought of me , and the affection that I shall ever bear you , will soften your melancholy and decrease the bitterness of your tears .
During our stay at Naples , we often returned to this cave , sometimes alone , skimming the sun lit sea , and each time added to our store .
`` Presently two countrymen passed by , but pausing near the cottage , they entered into conversation , using violent gesticulations ; but I did not understand what they said , as they spoke the language of the country , which differed from that of my protectors .
The glare of flames attested the progress of destruction , while , during mingled light and obscurity , the piles around me took gigantic proportions and weird shapes .
It was spacious , and nearly circular , with a raised seat of stone , about the size of a Grecian couch , at one end .
Two years had now nearly elapsed since the night on which he first received life ; and was this his first crime ?
A slight circumstance induced me to alter my usual route , and to return home by Egham and Bishopgate .
You accuse me of murder , and yet you would , with a satisfied conscience , destroy your own creature .
I leave a sad and bitter world ; and if you remember me and think of me as of one unjustly condemned , I am resigned to the fate awaiting me .
The christians sought their churches , christian maidens , even at the feast of roses , clad in white , with shining veils , sought , in long procession , the places consecrated to their religion , filling the air with their hymns ; while , ever and anon , from the lips of some poor mourner in the crowd , a voice of wailing burst , and the rest looked up , fancying they could discern the sweeping wings of angels , who passed over the earth , lamenting the disasters about to fall on man .
But the main substance rests on the truths contained in these poetic rhapsodies , and the divine intuition which the Cumaean damsel obtained from heaven .
The reproaches which agony extorted ; or worse , cureless , uncomplaining depression , when his mind was sunk in a torpor , not the less painful because it was silent and moveless .
Cherishing the most fervent hopes , embarked on the waste ocean , we saw with delight the receding shore of Britain , and on the wings of desire outspeeded our well filled sails towards the South .
Our prime festivals were held in Perdita 's cottage ; nor were we ever weary of talking of the past or dreaming of the future .
The vacuity his heart endured of any deep interest in life during his long absence from his native country had had a singular effect upon his ideas .
I am in a strange state of mind .
I passed through scenes familiar to my youth , but which I had not seen for nearly six years .
This , I thought , was the moment of decision , which was to rob me of or bestow happiness on me forever .
Soon after , I entered the valley of Chamounix .
The present season was indeed divine ; the flowers of spring bloomed in the hedges , while those of summer were already in bud .
Women bear with resignation these long drawn ills , but to a man 's impatient spirit , the slow motion of our cavalcade , the melancholy repose we took at noon , the perpetual presence of the pall , gorgeous though it was , that wrapt the rifled casket which had contained Raymond , the monotonous recurrence of day and night , unvaried by hope or change , all the circumstances of our march were intolerable .
Besides , I wish at once to tell you my wishes and expectations , and then never again to revert to so painful a subject .
I called him my friend but I viewed all he did with jealous eyes .
When unopposed they spread their ravages wide ; in cases of danger they clustered , and by dint of numbers overthrew their weak and despairing foes .
While Merrival was talking , Clara softly opened a door behind Idris , and beckoned me to come with a gesture and look of grief .
We go on , each thought linked to the one which was its parent , each act to a previous act .
When he had landed a month ago , the noisy populace had been hushed by sorrow and fear ; but this was a festival day to all .
`` The moon had disappeared from the night , and again , with a lessened form , showed itself , while I still remained in the forest .
Ashy pale , Raymond and Perdita sat apart , looking on with sad smiles .
Our lives will not be happy , but they will be harmless and free from the misery I now feel .
`` Last Thursday May th , I , my niece , and your two brothers , went to walk in Plainpalais .
Almost spent , as I was , by fatigue and the dreadful suspense I endured for several hours , this sudden certainty of life rushed like a flood of warm joy to my heart , and tears gushed from my eyes .
Only one dog remained alive ; but there was a human being within it whom the sailors were persuading to enter the vessel .
I have resolved every night , when I am not imperatively occupied by my duties , to record , as nearly as possible in his own words , what he has related during the day .
But this account , which might as properly belong to a former period of my life as to the present moment , leads me far afield .
I was easily led by the sympathy which he evinced to use the language of my heart , to give utterance to the burning ardour of my soul and to say , with all the fervour that warmed me , how gladly I would sacrifice my fortune , my existence , my every hope , to the furtherance of my enterprise .
For a moment the poor girl fancied that her mother believed that she had drank poison : she was on the point of springing up ; when the Countess , already at a distance from the bed , spoke in a low voice to her companion , and again Idris listened : `` Hasten , '' said she , `` there is no time to lose it is long past eleven ; they will be here at five ; take merely the clothes necessary for her journey , and her jewel casket . ''
This determination soothed me .
The plague was not in London alone , it was every where it came on us , as Ryland had said , like a thousand packs of wolves , howling through the winter night , gaunt and fierce .
But like all other gifts of the Creator to Man , she is mortal ; her life has attained its last hour .
We talked of change and active pursuits , but still remained at Windsor , incapable of violating the charm that attached us to our secluded life .
My imagination hung upon the scene of recognition ; his miniature , which I should continually wear exposed on my breast , would be the means and I imaged the moment to my mind a thousand and a thousand times , perpetually varying the circumstances .
We were all equal now ; magnificent dwellings , luxurious carpets , and beds of down , were afforded to all .
I can not rule myself .
Having effected the reunion of Raymond and Perdita , I was eager to return to England ; but his earnest request , added to awakening curiosity , and an indefinable anxiety to behold the catastrophe , now apparently at hand , in the long drawn history of Grecian and Turkish warfare , induced me to consent to prolong until the autumn , the period of my residence in Greece .
When I found this , I resolved to quit the place that I had hitherto inhabited , to seek for one where the few wants I experienced would be more easily satisfied .
But , at this period , the whole scheme of my existence was about to change .
Above , the leaves of the beech wood cast a flickering shadow on his face , and waved in mournful melody over him I saw all these things and said , `` Aye , this is his grave '' And then I wept aloud , and raised my eyes to heaven to entreat for a respite to my despair and an alleviation for his unnatural suffering the tears that gushed in a warm healing stream from my eyes relieved the burthen that oppressed my heart almost to madness .
This was the first commencement of my friendship with Adrian , and I must commemorate this day as the most fortunate of my life .
No distinct ideas occupied my mind ; all was confused .
Cursed , cursed be the fiend that brought misery on his grey hairs and doomed him to waste in wretchedness He could not live under the horrors that were accumulated around him ; the springs of existence suddenly gave way ; he was unable to rise from his bed , and in a few days he died in my arms .
Yet none of the defaced human forms which I distinguished , could be Raymond ; so I turned my eyes away , while my heart sickened within me .
As the images that floated before me became more distinct , I grew feverish ; a darkness pressed around me ; no one was near me who soothed me with the gentle voice of love ; no dear hand supported me .
A ghastly grin wrinkled his lips as he gazed on me , where I sat fulfilling the task which he had allotted to me .
There only remained a resolution to return to my ancient studies and to devote myself to a science for which I believed myself to possess a natural talent .
I am about to leave thee ; soon this living spirit which is ever busy among strange shapes and ideas , which belong not to thee , soon it will have flown to other regions and this emaciated body will rest insensate on thy bosom `` Rolled round in earth 's diurnal course With rocks , and stones , and trees .
I will put you in safety meanwhile , and return to you immediately . ''
He has frequently conversed with me on mine , which I have communicated to him without disguise .
How shall I relate the catastrophe to so much joy ; but the earth would not be the earth it is covered with blight and sorrow if one such pair as these angelic creatures had been suffered to exist for one another : search through the world and you will not find the perfect happiness which their marriage would have caused them to enjoy ; there must have been a revolution in the order of things as established among us miserable earth dwellers to have admitted of such consummate joy .
These feelings are transitory ; each day of expectation delayed fills them with fear , and I almost dread a mutiny caused by this despair .
What do you demand of your captain ?
Take care of her and cherish her : one day I may claim her at your hands ; but futurity is dark , make the present happy to her . '' My father remained three months at Hamburgh ; when he quitted it he changed his name , my aunt could never discover that which he adopted and only by faint hints , could conjecture that he had taken the road of Germany and Hungary to Turkey .
A woman was sleeping on some straw ; she was young , not indeed so beautiful as her whose portrait I held , but of an agreeable aspect and blooming in the loveliness of youth and health .
I prepared myself for a multitude of reverses ; my operations might be incessantly baffled , and at last my work be imperfect , yet when I considered the improvement which every day takes place in science and mechanics , I was encouraged to hope my present attempts would at least lay the foundations of future success .
I broke from the house angry and disturbed and retired to meditate on some other mode of action .
But it was all a dream ; no Eve soothed my sorrows nor shared my thoughts ; I was alone .
Our native oak , as his partisans called him , was visited truly by a nipping winter .
Her head fell on his shoulder , she trembled , alternate changes of fire and ice ran through her limbs : observing her emotion he spoke with softened accents : `` The blow is given .
It was now deep winter ; it had snowed , and was still snowing ; the wind whistled in the leafless trees , despoiling them of the white flakes as they fell ; its drear moaning , and the continued knocking , mingled wildly with my dreams at length I was wide awake ; hastily dressing myself , I hurried to discover the cause of this disturbance , and to open my door to the unexpected visitor .
I feel death to be near at hand and I am calm .
Miracles were to be wrought in my favour , the machine of social life pushed with vast effort backward .
Present her with a mirror , in which she may know herself ; and , when she is an adept in that necessary but difficult science , she will wonder at her present mistake , and hasten to restore to me , what is by right mine , her forgiveness , her kind thoughts , her love . ''
We will all make it our first care , our dearest task , to contribute to your happiness . ''
After trying vainly to enter the other apartments , he perceived just within the threshold of this one , a pair of small Turkish slippers ; the door was ajar , but all was silent within .
Less wonder far is it , that the garrison , despairing of being able to hold out longer , should take advantage of the negligence of our fleet to escape at once from siege and capture .
I have now mentioned all my studies .
They are gone for ever great as my power is I can not recall them to you if indeed I wave my wand over you you will fancy that you feel their gentle spirits in the soft air that steals over your cheeks the distant sound of winds waters may image to you their voices which will bid you rejoice for that they live This will not take away your grief but you will shed sweeter tears than those which full of anguish hopelessness now start from your eyes This I can do also can I take you to see many of my provinces my fairy lands which you have not yet visited and whose beauty will while away the heavy time I have many lovely spots under my command which poets of old have visited and have seen those sights the relation of which has been as a revelation to the world many spots I have still in keeping of lovely fields or horrid rocks peopled by the beautiful or the tremendous which I keep in reserve for my future worshippers to one of those whose grim terrors frightened sleep from the eye I formerly led you but you now need more pleasing images although I will not promise you to shew you any new scenes yet if I lead you to one often visited by my followers you will at least see new combinations that will sooth if they do not delight you Follow me Alas I replied when have you found me slow to obey your voice some times indeed I have called you you have not come but when before have I not followed your slightest sign and have left what was either of joy or sorrow in our world to dwell with you in yours till you have dismissed me ever unwilling to depart But now the weight of grief that oppresses me takes from me that lightness which is necessary to follow your quick winged motions alas in the midst of my course one thought would make me droop to the ground while you would outspeed me to your Kingdom of Glory leave me here darkling Ungrateful replied the Spirit Do I not tell you that I will sustain console you My wings shall aid your heavy steps I will command my winds to disperse the mist that over casts you I will lead you to a place where you will not hear laughter that disturbs you or see the sun that dazzles you We will choose some of the most sombre walks of the Elysian fields The Elysian fields I exclaimed with a quick scream shall I then see ?
What evil might not happen in the mean time ?
`` Nay , '' said my companion , `` I can free you from your present impediment .
The rain was pouring in torrents , and thick mists hid the summits of the mountains , so that I even saw not the faces of those mighty friends .
Thus although she appeared to be less initiated in the mysteries of life and society than he her knowledge was of a deeper kind and laid on firmer foundations ; and if even her beauty and sweetness had not fascinated him her understanding would ever have held his in thrall .
Are these circumstances not dreadful ?
Yet I thank God that I have lived I thank God , that I have beheld his throne , the heavens , and earth , his footstool .
Thousands died unlamented ; for beside the yet warm corpse the mourner was stretched , made mute by death .
My rashness gave the victory in this dreadful fight to the enemy who triumphed over him as he lay fallen and vanquished .
Again I rose , and exerting all the firmness of which I was master , removed the planks which I had placed before my hovel to conceal my retreat .
Look in that mirror ; when I came your brow was contracted , your eyes deep sunk in your head , your lips quivering ; your hands trembled violently when I took them ; but now all is tranquil and soft .
`` 'They are kind they are the most excellent creatures in the world ; but , unfortunately , they are prejudiced against me .
A serene sky and verdant fields filled me with ecstasy .
He excites at once my admiration and my pity to an astonishing degree .
As you honour me as you worship God , in whose image those also are created as your children and friends are dear to you , shed not a drop of precious human blood . ''
These motives urged me to comply with his demand .
The merry marriage bells rung in my ears ; I heard the nation 's gratulation which followed the union ; the ambitious noble uprose with swift eagle flight , from the lowly ground to regal supremacy and to the love of Idris .
Compassion swelled his breast ; he would see her once again ; he would devise some plan for restoring her to society , and the enjoyment of her rank ; their separation would then follow , as a matter of course .
Her mind was of uncommon strength ; she could subdue her sensible wants to her mental wishes , and suffer cold , hunger and misery , rather than concede to fortune a contested point .
I beseech you ; by your former love for me now lost , I adjure you to answer that one question .
`` Lionel , you hear : witness for me : persuade your sister to forgive the injury I have done her ; persuade her to be mine . ''
Dear Victor , banish these dark passions .
If I lift up my eyes and see the desart earth , and feel that those dear eyes have spent their mortal lustre , and that those beauteous lips are silent , their `` crimson leaves '' faded , for ever I am mute But you live , my Idris , even now you move before me There was a glade , O reader a grassy opening in the wood ; the retiring trees left its velvet expanse as a temple for love ; the silver Thames bounded it on one side , and a willow bending down dipt in the water its Naiad hair , dishevelled by the wind 's viewless hand .
He heard my account of the self dissolution of the army with calmness , and then said , `` You know , Verney , my fixed determination not to quit this place , until in the light of day Stamboul is confessedly ours .
I doubted at first whether I should attempt the creation of a being like myself , or one of simpler organization ; but my imagination was too much exalted by my first success to permit me to doubt of my ability to give life to an animal as complex and wonderful as man .
We saw a great deal of society , and no day passed that my father did not endeavour to embellish by some new enjoyment .
None had ever before suspected , that power , or the suffrage of the many , could in any manner become dear to him .
He entered the churches , and foretold to the congregations their speedy removal to the vaults below .
I know not what we are to hope ; but there is some good beyond us that we must seek ; and that is our earthly task .
There is something at work in my soul which I do not understand .
An old man sat in it , near a fire , over which he was preparing his breakfast .
She was submissive to those who held authority over her , but a perpetual cloud dwelt on her brow ; she looked as if she expected enmity from every one who approached her , and her actions were instigated by the same feeling .
I , the offspring of love , the child of the woods , the nursling of Nature 's bright self was to submit to this ?
It was completely dark when I arrived in the environs of Geneva ; the gates of the town were already shut ; and I was obliged to pass the night at Secheron , a village at the distance of half a league from the city .
Perdita had arrived with her child at Dartford , weeping and inconsolable .
Again and again I have passed over in my remembrance the different scenes of my short life : if the world is a stage and I merely an actor on it my part has been strange , and , alas tragical .
If the study to which you apply yourself has a tendency to weaken your affections and to destroy your taste for those simple pleasures in which no alloy can possibly mix , then that study is certainly unlawful , that is to say , not befitting the human mind .
In his desire to repair his first losses , my father risked double stakes , and thus incurred a debt of honour he was wholly unable to pay .
`` There is more of what is specious than true in your distinction , '' said my companion .
Does not the plague rage each year in Stamboul ?
`` All things go on , '' thought Perdita , `` all things proceed , decay , and perish When noontide has passed , and the weary day has driven her team to their western stalls , the fires of heaven rise from the East , moving in their accustomed path , they ascend and descend the skiey hill .
The latter feeling now predominated .
But there was no remedy .
This short seperation from his companions gave him courage to assert his independance .
But frost would come at last , and with it a renewal of our lease of earth .
Raymond was actuated by far other feelings .
At first I attempted to prevent her but she persisted , and entering the room where it lay , hastily examined the neck of the victim , and clasping her hands exclaimed , ' O God I have murdered my darling child ' `` She fainted , and was restored with extreme difficulty .
`` It is not from deck , '' said the man at the helm , `` something has been thrown from the aft cabin . ''
Earth is to me a tomb , the firmament a vault , shrouding mere corruption .
From Derby , still journeying northwards , we passed two months in Cumberland and Westmorland .
We discussed the best means of preventing infection , and of preserving health and activity in a large city thus afflicted London , for instance .
I wished to see him again , that I might wreak the utmost extent of abhorrence on his head and avenge the deaths of William and Justine .
Oh Sun how beautiful thou art And how glorious is the golden ocean that receives thee My heart is at peace I feel no sorrow a holy love stills my senses I feel as if my mind also partook of the inexpressible loveliness of surrounding nature What shall I do ?
His favourite horse was found grazing by the margin of the tranquil river .
In his solitary despair Adrian would often seek my sister , and in covered terms express his misery , while fortitude and agony divided the throne of his mind .
But then Perdita thought more constantly of others than he ; and part of her bashfulness arose from a wish to take from those around her a sense of inferiority ; a feeling which never crossed her mind .
`` I am not mad , '' I cried energetically ; `` the sun and the heavens , who have viewed my operations , can bear witness of my truth .
CHAPTER IV Among our most assiduous visitors was a young man of rank , well informed , and agreable in his person .
Their yells were drowned in the clamour of elements , and the thunder rivings of their unwieldy habitation they discovered at last that the water gained on them , and they betook themselves to their pumps ; they might as well have laboured to empty the ocean by bucketfuls .
Sometimes I wished to express my sensations in my own mode , but the uncouth and inarticulate sounds which broke from me frightened me into silence again .
She was too unlike them , too utterly alien to their tastes , for them to find delight in her society , or in the prospect of its continuance , but it gave them pleasure to see her conciliating and kind .
To be friendless is indeed to be unfortunate , but the hearts of men , when unprejudiced by any obvious self interest , are full of brotherly love and charity .
Then I spurred on my animal , striving so to forget the world , my fears , and more than all , myself or , in a more desperate fashion , I alighted and threw myself on the grass , weighed down by horror and despair .
A man of this kind was now pouring forth his eloquent despair among the inhabitants of Windsor .
But when I discovered that he , the author at once of my existence and of its unspeakable torments , dared to hope for happiness , that while he accumulated wretchedness and despair upon me he sought his own enjoyment in feelings and passions from the indulgence of which I was forever barred , then impotent envy and bitter indignation filled me with an insatiable thirst for vengeance .
I was overcome by gloom and misery and often reflected I had better seek death than desire to remain in a world which to me was replete with wretchedness .
He can no longer be a subject for pity ; we must reserve that for his miserable survivors . ''
What was I ? The question again recurred , to be answered only with groans .
Her dark hair was braided and twined in thick knots like the head dress of a Grecian statue ; her garb was mean , but her attitude might have been selected as a model of grace .
As soon as I perceived him I suddenly rose to escape from his observation by entering among the trees .
He listened with haughtiness , replied disdainfully ; and , if in truth , she succeeded in awakening his conscience , the sole effect was that he sought an opiate for the pang in oblivious riot .
They gathered round him , counted their numbers , and detailed the reasons why they were now to receive an addition of such and such members , who had not yet declared themselves .
I saw a change in her also .
We returned again , with torches ; for I could not rest , when I thought that my sweet boy had lost himself , and was exposed to all the damps and dews of night ; Elizabeth also suffered extreme anguish .
My daughter , I love you '' The last words died away in a hoarse whisper , but I heard them and sunk on the ground , covering my face and almost dead with excess of sickness and fear : a cold perspiration covered my forehead and I shivered in every limb But he continued , clasping his hands with a frantic gesture : `` Now I have dashed from the top of the rock to the bottom Now I have precipitated myself down the fearful chasm The danger is over ; she is alive Oh , Mathilda , lift up those dear eyes in the light of which I live .
Return speedily , Lionel . ''
The cold is not excessive , if you are wrapped in furs a dress which I have already adopted , for there is a great difference between walking the deck and remaining seated motionless for hours , when no exercise prevents the blood from actually freezing in your veins .
I became intimate with him , and each day afforded me occasion to admire more and more his powerful and versatile talents , that together with his eloquence , which was graceful and witty , and his wealth now immense , caused him to be feared , loved , and hated beyond any other man in England .
Poor William he was our darling and our pride '' Tears , unrestrained , fell from my brother 's eyes ; a sense of mortal agony crept over my frame .
The latter name made me tremble when pronounced by Henry , and I hastened to quit Matlock , with which that terrible scene was thus associated .
Her face was radiant with a smile .
As I grew older books in some degree supplied the place of human intercourse : the library of my aunt was very small ; Shakespear , Milton , Pope and Cowper were the strangley sic assorted poets of her collection ; and among the prose authors a translation of Livy and Rollin 's ancient history were my chief favourites although as I emerged from childhood I found others highly interesting which I had before neglected as dull .
Yet while he earnestly occupied himself about the wants of others his own desires were gratified to their fullest extent .
Yet I do not pretend to account for my mood by any particular event .
When the servant came back she gave me a letter .
I was a mere skeleton , and fever night and day preyed upon my wasted frame .
I hoped to induce you to grant me a boat with which I could pursue my enemy .
I heard of the death of only sons ; of wives and husbands most devoted ; of the rending of ties twisted with the heart 's fibres , of friend losing friend , and young mothers mourning for their first born ; and these moving incidents were grouped and painted in my mind by the knowledge of the persons , by my esteem and affection for the sufferers .
He had already bought a farm with his money , on which he had designed to pass the remainder of his life ; but he bestowed the whole on his rival , together with the remains of his prize money to purchase stock , and then himself solicited the young woman 's father to consent to her marriage with her lover .
There are many books which can feed the appetite craving for these things ; let them turn to the accounts of Boccaccio , De Foe , and Browne .
Not a word had been spoken during the present session on any of these topics .
The peasant woman , perceiving that my mother fixed eyes of wonder and admiration on this lovely girl , eagerly communicated her history .
CHAPTER VII With a beating heart and fearful , I knew not why , I dismissed the servant and locking my door , sat down to read my father 's letter .
Perdita 's name was for ever joined with his ; their conjugal felicity was celebrated even by the authentic testimony of facts .
It came from the room into which Elizabeth had retired .
He came to the university with the design of making himself complete master of the oriental languages , and thus he should open a field for the plan of life he had marked out for himself .
We resided principally in the latter , and the lives of my parents were passed in considerable seclusion .
The cup of life was poisoned forever , and although the sun shone upon me , as upon the happy and gay of heart , I saw around me nothing but a dense and frightful darkness , penetrated by no light but the glimmer of two eyes that glared upon me .
I particularly mark this night , for it was that which has hurried on the last scene of my tragedy , which else might have dwindled on through long years of listless sorrow .
He was an inferior actor , but truth now made him excellent ; as he went on to announce to Macduff the slaughter of his family , he was afraid to speak , trembling from apprehension of a burst of grief from the audience , not from his fellow mime .
Alas I now met frowns where before I had been welcomed only with smiles : he , my beloved father , shunned me , and either treated me with harshness or a more heart breaking coldness .
But my nerveless hands can neither fell the trees , nor smooth the planks .
Insatiate thirst for knowledge , and boundless affection for Adrian , combined to keep both my heart and understanding occupied , and I was consequently happy .
I came to an open space a mountain of ruin in the midst , announced that some large mosque had occupied the space and here , scattered about , I saw various articles of luxury and wealth , singed , destroyed but shewing what they had been in their ruin jewels , strings of pearls , embroidered robes , rich furs , glittering tapestries , and oriental ornaments , seemed to have been collected here in a pile destined for destruction ; but the rain had stopped the havoc midway .
He soon conquered my latent distaste ; I endeavoured to watch him and Perdita , and to keep in mind every thing I had heard to his disadvantage .
Come then , no more delay , thou tardy one Behold the pleasant potion Look , I am a spirit of good , and not a human maid that invites thee , and with winning accents , oh , that they would win thee says , Come and drink . ''
The same peculiarities of character rendered her sorrows agonies ; her fancy magnified them , her sensibility made her for ever open to their renewed impression ; love envenomed the heart piercing sting .
I am well acquainted with the accused .
She started up , she threw herself on his neck , she gasped and sobbed ; he took her hand , and leading her to the sofa , sat down near her .
After the lovers again joined me , we supped together in the alcove .
Raymond continued , `` I will not act a part with you , dear girl , or appear other than what I am , weak and unworthy , more fit to excite your disdain than your love .
He paused , and was lost in thought .
I dismissed the guests therefore ; and they went thoughtful , more than sad , to await the events in store for them .
But I was languid and many hours passed before I could reach the cottage , dragging as I did my slow steps , and often resting on the wet earth unable to proceed .
Now that I am arrived at its base , my pinions are furled , the mighty stairs are before me , and step by step I must ascend the wondrous fane Speak What door is opened ?
We arrived at Kishan on the th of July .
The cavern shape the stage assumed , the beetling rocks , the glare of the fire , the misty shades that crossed the scene at times , the music in harmony with all witch like fancies , permitted the imagination to revel , without fear of contradiction , or reproof from reason or the heart .
He looks upon study as an odious fetter ; his time is spent in the open air , climbing the hills or rowing on the lake .
My soul is a fading spark , my nature frail as a spent wave ; but I dedicate all of intellect and strength that remains to me , to that one work , and take upon me the task , as far as I am able , of bestowing blessings on my fellow men '' His voice trembled , his eyes were cast up , his hands clasped , and his fragile person was bent , as it were , with excess of emotion .
And yet I fear it ; even as I fear all things ; for in any state of being linked by the chain of memory with this , happiness would not return even in Paradise , I must feel that your love was less enduring than the mortal beatings of my fragile heart , every pulse of which knells audibly , The funeral note Of love , deep buried , without resurrection .
All was strange and admirable to the shepherd of Cumberland .
Oppressed by the recollection of my various misfortunes , I now swallowed double my usual quantity and soon slept profoundly .
At the commencement of summer , we began to feel , that the mischief which had taken place in distant countries was greater than we had at first suspected .
`` You will never hear from me again : receive these then as the last words of mine that will ever reach you ; and although I have forfeited your filial love , yet regard them I conjure you as a father 's command .
On our side the soldiers grasped their arms firmly , and looked with stern glances on the foe .
A man might be respected with only one of these advantages , but without either he was considered , except in very rare instances , as a vagabond and a slave , doomed to waste his powers for the profits of the chosen few And what was I ? Of my creation and creator I was absolutely ignorant , but I knew that I possessed no money , no friends , no kind of property .
It evidently declined , without any symptom which could lead us to suspect his disease , unless indeed his brightened eyes , animated look , and flustering cheeks , made us dread consumption ; but he was without pain or fear .
The English , whether travellers or residents , came pouring in one great revulsive stream , back on their own country ; and with them crowds of Italians and Spaniards .
How shall I ever repay you ?
I would have seized him , but he eluded me and quitted the house with precipitation .
Shall I create another like yourself , whose joint wickedness might desolate the world .
A call for the boat to be lowered was echoed from the deck .
I welcomed my friend , therefore , in the most cordial manner , and we walked towards my college .
The music died away , the shouts abruptly ended ; the soldiers had cleared a space in which a carriage was drawn up .
Falsehood and artifice are in themselves so hateful , that , though I still thought I did right , a feeling of shame and guilt came painfully upon me .
Delighted and surprised , I embraced her , but as I imprinted the first kiss on her lips , they became livid with the hue of death ; her features appeared to change , and I thought that I held the corpse of my dead mother in my arms ; a shroud enveloped her form , and I saw the grave worms crawling in the folds of the flannel .
They inspired the soldiers with the same sentiment .
Could I behold this and live ?
I was sitting by my fire , the physician who had attended me ever since my fever had just left me , and I looked over his prescription in which digitalis was the prominent medecine .
It was to be hoped that their efforts would succeed , and that though now a prisoner , the sport of cruelty and the mark of hate , he would be rescued from danger and restored to the happiness , power , and honour which he deserved .
`` We do also , unfortunately , '' replied my father , `` for indeed I had rather have been for ever ignorant than have discovered so much depravity and ungratitude in one I valued so highly . ''
This , proud noble , is your last night Perdita has bestowed on it all of magnificent and dazzling that your heart best loves but , from these gorgeous rooms , from this princely attendance , from power and elevation , you must return with to morrow 's sun to our rural abode ; for I would not buy an immortality of joy , by the endurance of one more week sister to the last .
My friend shortened the harangue , by taking the man 's torch from him ; and we proceeded alone .
On the whole island there were but three miserable huts , and one of these was vacant when I arrived .
We travelled at the time of the vintage and heard the song of the labourers as we glided down the stream .
This abode of penury may at least prove the disinterestedness of my conduct .
It had then filled me with a sublime ecstasy that gave wings to the soul and allowed it to soar from the obscure world to light and joy .
`` This is infinitely ridiculous , '' he cried , `` if you were school boys , you could not conduct yourselves more unreasonably . ''
Both then withdrew ; though , as she went , the Countess said , `` Softly ; all sleep ; though all have not been prepared for sleep , like her .
To live , according to this sense of the word , we must not only observe and learn , we must also feel ; we must not be mere spectators of action , we must act ; we must not describe , but be subjects of description .
Once it was so ; now is man lord of the creation ?
I said in one of my letters , my dear Margaret , that I should find no friend on the wide ocean ; yet I have found a man who , before his spirit had been broken by misery , I should have been happy to have possessed as the brother of my heart .
For alone , when no voice can disturb my dream , and no cold eye meet mine to check its fire , then I may commune with his spirit ; on a lone heath , at noon or at midnight , still I should be near him .
Two or three petitioners were still in attendance .
In other studies you go as far as others have gone before you , and there is nothing more to know ; but in a scientific pursuit there is continual food for discovery and wonder .
Fortunately I had money with me .
During my first experiment , a kind of enthusiastic frenzy had blinded me to the horror of my employment ; my mind was intently fixed on the consummation of my labour , and my eyes were shut to the horror of my proceedings .
We had lived so long in the vicinity of Eton , that its population of young folks was well known to us .
Alas I even now look back with disgust at my artifices and contrivances by which , after many painful struggles , I effected my retreat .
Stung with impatience , I urged my horse with force of spur and loosened reins down the acclivity , that , before danger could arrive , I might be at the side of my noble , godlike friend .
However it might be , neither plague nor war could prevent Perdita from following her lord , or induce her to utter one objection to the plans which he proposed .
`` Then I fancy we have seen him , for the day before we picked you up we saw some dogs drawing a sledge , with a man in it , across the ice . ''
It was the height of his offending , that he should occasion in me such intolerable sensations , and not deign himself to afford any demonstration that he was aware that I even lived to feel them .
There does not exist the man in England with adequate presumption .
I , a miserable wretch , haunted by a curse that shut up every avenue to enjoyment .
I was aware also that I should often lose all self command , all capacity of hiding the harrowing sensations that would possess me during the progress of my unearthly occupation .
Nor could I consider the magnitude and complexity of my plan as any argument of its impracticability .
Idris , who entertained the highest opinion of his abilities , was warmly interested in the event : and my poor sister , who dared not hope , and to whom fear was misery , was plunged into a fever of disquietude .
She seemed to consider that through me she had lost Raymond ; I was the evil influence of her life ; I was even accused of encreasing and confirming the mad and base apostacy of Adrian from all views of advancement and grandeur ; and now this miserable mountaineer was to steal her daughter .
But his fate was still uncertain ; she began to fear the worst , and to feel that her soul 's hope was cast on a chance that might prove a blank .
Cheer up , or I shall make you over to Idris , and call Adrian into the carriage , who , I see by his gesture , sympathizes with my good spirits . ''
`` As night came on , Agatha and the Arabian retired early .
I threw the door forcibly open , as children are accustomed to do when they expect a spectre to stand in waiting for them on the other side ; but nothing appeared .
Now life is all that we covet ; that this automaton of flesh should , with joints and springs in order , perform its functions , that this dwelling of the soul should be capable of containing its dweller .
You may give up your purpose , but mine is assigned to me by heaven , and I dare not .
The weather during our journey had been serene .
Adrian , Idris and I , were established in Windsor Castle ; Lord Raymond and my sister , inhabited a house which the former had built on the borders of the Great Park , near Perdita 's cottage , as was still named the low roofed abode , where we two , poor even in hope , had each received the assurance of our felicity .
I own that I did not see her misfortune with the same eyes as Perdita .
But , even though threatened by famine , her fear of the plague was paramount ; and her greatest care was to avoid her fellow creatures .
I took no merit to myself for this .
`` This is going too far , '' her mother answered , with quivering lips , and eyes again instinct by anger .
Clinging , with the dastard feeling of the aged , to the remnant of her spent life , she had , on hearing that the pestilence had come into her neighbourhood , barred her door , and closed her casement , refusing to communicate with any .
He sat beside her ; and , taking the paper from her hand , said , `` Not a word more shall my sweet Perdita read of this contention of madmen and fools .
When love is no longer akin to hate , then brotherhood will exist : we are very far from that state at present . '' `` Not so far as you may suppose , '' observed a little old astronomer , by name Merrival , `` the poles precede slowly , but securely ; in an hundred thousand years `` `` We shall all be underground , '' said Ryland .
Her views with regard to her own children , placed all her words and actions relative to them under restraint : but Evadne was a plaything she could in no way fear ; nor were her talents and vivacity slight alleviations to the monotony of the Countess 's life .
In the mean time , Raymond had remained with Adrian and Idris .
We were directed to the ward where her husband had been first taken , and still was , the nurse said , if alive .
How they would , each and all , abhor me and hunt me from the world did they know my unhallowed acts and the crimes which had their source in me My father yielded at length to my desire to avoid society and strove by various arguments to banish my despair .
I had been calm during the day , but so soon as night obscured the shapes of objects , a thousand fears arose in my mind .
He will feel highly honoured , and thus you may repay a part of the obligation I owe him , and compensate for the injuries fortune has done him . ''
I will say no more ; for I can add nothing to what I have already said , to what you before contemptuously set aside .
Little Evelyn had endeavoured to draw Clara away to play with him ; but the Italian 's tale arrested her , she crept near , her lustrous eyes fixed on the speaker .
She received my concurrence with pleasure , and a thousand times over thanked her deceiving , deceitful brother .
The concentrated pride of her nature , forgotten during her blissful dream , awoke , and with its adder 's sting pierced her heart ; her humility of spirit augmented the power of the venom ; she had been exalted in her own estimation , while distinguished by his love : of what worth was she , now that he thrust her from this preferment ?
He snatched his hand from me , and rose in violent disorder : `` What do you mean ?
`` Come , I see that you have already cast aside the sad thoughts you before franticly indulged .
`` Your affectionate and afflicted father , `` Alphonse Frankenstein .
We had our separate occupations and our common amusements .
Since you left us , but one change has taken place in our little household .
We , a commercial people , were obliged to bring such schemes under consideration ; and the question of contagion became matter of earnest disquisition .
Now that unchanged serenity , and gentle compliance were added to her other qualifications , his respect equalled his love .
`` Yes , '' I said , `` I see how this is , and it is strange that I should have deceived myself so long ; I am about to die an innocent death , and it will be sweeter even than that which the opium promised . ''
Under the influence of these melancholy thoughts , she became more than ever in love with sorrow .
But I was in reality very ill , and surely nothing but the unbounded and unremitting attentions of my friend could have restored me to life .
Once , when thirteen years of age , I was sent for a month to the county jail .
I find myself , for one , as a stringed instrument with chords and stops but I have no power to turn the pegs , or pitch my thoughts to a higher or lower key . ''
I met him at the distance of thirty miles from our mansion .
Henry rejoiced in my gaiety , and sincerely sympathised in my feelings : he exerted himself to amuse me , while he expressed the sensations that filled his soul .
In the mean time , we , the wise of the land , will return to our Castle , and , Cincinnatus like , take to our usual labours , until our friend shall require our presence and assistance here . ''
Such sentiments actuated our little circle .
Bless thy child even even sic in death , as I bless thee ; and let me sleep at peace in my quiet grave . ''
`` Let me entreat Adrian , '' I cried , `` not to comply : rather join with me in endeavouring to withdraw Lord Raymond from this scene , and restore him to other society . ''
CHAPTER IX Thus I passed two years .
I love my cousin tenderly and sincerely .
Plague is the companion of spring , of sunshine , and plenty .
I sat on the sole remaining step of an edifice , which even in its downfall , was huge and magnificent ; a few broken walls , not dislodged by gunpowder , stood in fantastic groupes , and a flame glimmered at intervals on the summit of the pile .
`` Talk not of other season than this '' he cried .
But when any whole nation becomes the victim of the destructive powers of exterior agents , then indeed man shrinks into insignificance , he feels his tenure of life insecure , his inheritance on earth cut off .
From such scenes I have sometimes saved a deserted infant sometimes led a young and grieving mother from the lifeless image of her first born , or drawn the sturdy labourer from childish weeping over his extinct family .
Believe me , he was destined to be the author of infinite good to his native England .
I had before regarded my promise with a gloomy despair as a thing that , with whatever consequences , must be fulfilled ; but I now felt as if a film had been taken from before my eyes and that I for the first time saw clearly .
It moved every feeling of wonder and awe that the picture of an omnipotent God warring with his creatures was capable of exciting .
I feared madness , not sickness I have a presentiment that Adrian will not die ; perhaps this illness is a crisis , and he may recover . ''
Her expressive eyes were two stars whose beams were love ; hope and light heartedness sat on her cloudless brow .
When he found me a vagabond shepherd of the hills , a poacher , an unlettered savage , still his kindness did not fail .
The Turkish army were at this time besieging Rodosto ; and the Greeks , hastening their preparations , and sending each day reinforcements , were on the eve of forcing the enemy to battle .
She gazed on some flowers that stood near in a carved vase : that morning she had arranged them , they were rare and lovely plants ; even now all aghast as she was , she observed their brilliant colours and starry shapes .
But let us change the subject .
But I will not be tempted to set myself in opposition to thee .
Raymond 's beloved Athenians , the free , the noble people of the divinest town in Greece , fell like ripe corn before the merciless sickle of the adversary .
That same invincible monster , which hovered over and devoured Constantinople that fiend more cruel than tempest , less tame than fire , is , alas , unchained in that beautiful country these reflections would not allow me to rest .
She began to count the long days , and months , and years which must elapse , before he would be restored to a private station , and unreservedly to her .
I inquired of the inhabitants concerning the fiend and gained accurate information .
She had been moved from the posture in which I had first beheld her , and now , as she lay , her head upon her arm and a handkerchief thrown across her face and neck , I might have supposed her asleep .
He turned on hearing a noise , and perceiving me , shrieked loudly , and quitting the hut , ran across the fields with a speed of which his debilitated form hardly appeared capable .
As at the conclusion of the eighteenth century , the English unlocked their hospitable store , for the relief of those driven from their homes by political revolution ; so now they were not backward in affording aid to the victims of a more wide spreading calamity .
On the same evening , he went alone to the house named to him .
I felt as if I were recreated and had about me all the freshness and life of a new being : I was , as it were , transported since his arrival from a narrow spot of earth into a universe boundless to the imagination and the understanding .
In this house I chanced to find a volume of the works of Cornelius Agrippa .
He was an uncouth man , but deeply imbued in the secrets of his science .
Something more was in his heart , to which he dared not give words .
You may conceive my astonishment on hearing such a question addressed to me from a man on the brink of destruction and to whom I should have supposed that my vessel would have been a resource which he would not have exchanged for the most precious wealth the earth can afford .
`` Once I desired to be a king .
I shall quit your vessel on the ice raft which brought me thither and shall seek the most northern extremity of the globe ; I shall collect my funeral pile and consume to ashes this miserable frame , that its remains may afford no light to any curious and unhallowed wretch who would create such another as I have been .
CHAPTER X It was six months after this miserable conclusion to his long nursed hopes that I first saw him .
The battle was sanguinary , the loss of the Turks apparently irreparable ; the Greeks , in losing one man , forgot the nameless crowd strewed upon the bloody field , and they ceased to value themselves on a victory , which cost them Raymond .
He transacted public business with distaste , and hastened from it to the solitude which was at once his bane and relief .
who loved him , as he did her ; notwithstanding that disappointment quelled her passion , and ambition held strong combat with his .
The excitement which had hitherto sustained me was lost ; as a building , whose props are loosened , and whose foundations rock , totters and falls , so when enthusiasm and hope deserted me , did my strength fail .
Every thought that was devoted to it was an extreme anguish , and every word that I spoke in allusion to it caused my lips to quiver , and my heart to palpitate .
I hardly know whether I shall have the power to detail it ; yet the tale which I have recorded would be incomplete without this final and wonderful catastrophe .
My life was spent among tangible realities , hers was a dream .
Two o'clock struck , after which none were admitted ; those who had been disappointed went sullenly or sorrowfully away , while I entered the audience chamber .
He loved me with a guilty passion , and stung by remorse and despair he killed himself .
`` You may easily believe , '' said he , `` how great was the difficulty to persuade my father that all necessary knowledge was not comprised in the noble art of book keeping ; and , indeed , I believe I left him incredulous to the last , for his constant answer to my unwearied entreaties was the same as that of the Dutch schoolmaster in The Vicar of Wakefield : ' I have ten thousand florins a year without Greek , I eat heartily without Greek . '
Could any thing but unmixed joy flow from such a union ?
I am not like one of these ; they influenced millions : but if I can influence but a hundred , but ten , but one solitary individual , so as in any way to lead him from ill to good , that will be a joy to repay me for all my sufferings , though they were a million times multiplied ; and that hope will support me to bear them .
Alexander was a king ; Solomon , the wisest of men , was a king ; Napoleon was a king ; Caesar died in his attempt to become one , and Cromwell , the puritan and king killer , aspired to regality .
I could offer no explanation of them , but their truth in part relieved the burden of my mysterious woe .
What wonder then , in time of siege , want , extreme heat , and drought , that it should make unaccustomed ravages ?
A frightful selfishness hurried me on , while my heart was poisoned with remorse .
With faltering accents Clara promised , while she still clung to her father in a transport of sorrow .
But , come , this splenetic fit is already passed ; resume your functions ; your partizans will hail you ; your enemies be silenced ; our love , honour , and duty will again be manifested towards you .
I could never , while with him , think of his bounty as a remedy to my poverty ; and I even put aside hastily his offers of supplies , assuring him of a falsehood , that I needed them not .
Felix was too delicate to accept this offer , yet he looked forward to the probability of the event as to the consummation of his happiness .
When I was about five years old , while making an excursion beyond the frontiers of Italy , they passed a week on the shores of the Lake of Como .
He pointed out to me the shifting colours of the landscape and the appearances of the sky .
And thus it was that although the spirit of friendship soothed me for a while it could not restore me .
I had not despaired , nor had I yet conceived the idea of returning if set free .
I wish to prepare you for the woeful news , but I know it is impossible ; even now your eye skims over the page to seek the words which are to convey to you the horrible tidings .
This hour , melancholy yet sweet , has always seemed to me the time when we are most naturally led to commune with higher powers ; our mortal sternness departs , and gentle complacency invests the soul .
My courage and perseverance were invigorated by these scoffing words ; I resolved not to fail in my purpose , and calling on heaven to support me , I continued with unabated fervour to traverse immense deserts , until the ocean appeared at a distance and formed the utmost boundary of the horizon .
This expedition has been the favourite dream of my early years .
Well , this could not last .
She had to do this , while in deep woe she sighed for loneliness , and would gladly have exchanged her crowded rooms for dark forest depths , or a drear , night enshadowed heath .
`` Felix trembled violently as he said this .
I remembered that Idris had been kept in ignorance of my proceedings .
Yet we were not all to die .
The vast cities of America , the fertile plains of Hindostan , the crowded abodes of the Chinese , are menaced with utter ruin .
But Clara was jealous of their services ; she would be sole handmaid of Idris , sole minister to the wants of her little cousins ; nothing gave her so much pleasure as our employing her in this way ; she went beyond our desires , earnest , diligent , and unwearied , Abra was ready ere we called her name , And though we called another , Abra came .
He had begun his speech with vehemence ; he ended with unassuming gentleness , making his appeal with the same humility , as if he had asked to be the first in wealth , honour , and power among Englishmen , and not , as was the truth , to be the foremost in the ranks of loathsome toils and inevitable death .
He declared , notwithstanding her harshness , he even called it coldness , that he loved her .
Remember the friends around you , who centre all their hopes in you .
I darted towards the spot from which the sound proceeded , but the devil eluded my grasp .
Several hours passed , and I remained near my window gazing on the sea ; it was almost motionless , for the winds were hushed , and all nature reposed under the eye of the quiet moon .
Some were destroyed ; the major part escaped by quick and well ordered movements ; and danger made them careful .
The passionate and almost reverential attachment with which all regarded her became , while I shared it , my pride and my delight .
He loved enterprise , hardship , and even danger for its own sake .
Anguish and despair had penetrated into the core of my heart ; I bore a hell within me which nothing could extinguish .
He began at last to shew signs of angry impatience , and Perdita became aware that the system she had adopted could not continue ; she must explain herself to him ; she could not summon courage to speak she wrote thus : `` Read this letter with patience , I entreat you .
Death is the goal that I would attain , but , alas I do not even see the end of the course .
The inhabitants of Berkshire and Bucks had been long aware that the plague was in London , in Liverpool , Bristol , Manchester , York , in short , in all the more populous towns of England .
Do not for ever look sorrow and never speak it ; utter one word of bitter complaint and I will reprove it with gentle exhortation and pour on you the balm of compassion .
If she had been nurtured by those who had regarded her with affection , she might have been different ; but unloved and neglected , she repaid want of kindness with distrust and silence .
In person , he hardly appeared of this world ; his slight frame was overinformed by the soul that dwelt within ; he was all mind ; `` Man but a rush against '' his breast , and it would have conquered his strength ; but the might of his smile would have tamed an hungry lion , or caused a legion of armed men to lay their weapons at his feet .
This was the key of my design .
Has she not bestowed on him every gift in prodigality ?
I am a part of this scene ; each and all its properties are a part of me .
The report of the pistol brought a crowd into the room .
Our empty habitations remained , but the dwellers were gathered to the shades of the tomb .
But other ingredients mingled with these , and prevented him from becoming the calculating , determined character , which alone forms a successful hero .
They looked at one another and were unable to reply .
There was a simple , natural earnestness about her that interested me in her fate , especially when she assured me that her husband was the best of men , had been so , till want of business during these unhappy times had thrown him into bad company .
It was small relief to him that our discipline should gain us success in such a conflict ; while plague still hovered to equalize the conqueror and the conquered , it was not victory that he desired , but bloodless peace .
Ever since the fatal night , the end of my labours , and the beginning of my misfortunes , I had conceived a violent antipathy even to the name of natural philosophy .
Perdita shook her head ; `` If it could be so , '' she replied , `` I were much in the wrong to disdain your offers .
It is our distance from them and our imperfect means of communication that makes them appear to move ; in truth they always remain stationary , a glorious centre , giving us a fine lesson of modesty if we would thus receive it . ''
As yet the mind alone had suffered could I for ever put off the time , when the delicate frame and shrinking nerves of my child of prosperity , the nursling of rank and wealth , who was my companion , should be invaded by famine , hardship , and disease ?
My father felt that his fall was near ; but so far from profiting by this last calm before the storm to save himself , he sought to forget anticipated evil by making still greater sacrifices to the deity of pleasure , deceitful and cruel arbiter of his destiny .
One part was open , and by that I had crept in ; but now I covered every crevice by which I might be perceived with stones and wood , yet in such a manner that I might move them on occasion to pass out ; all the light I enjoyed came through the sty , and that was sufficient for me .
How often have I wept over that letter which untill I was sixteen was the only relick I had to remind me of my parents .
When others were there he often spoke to me and his eyes perpetually followed my slightest motion .
At last the crisis came : the night when parliament , which had so long delayed its choice , must decide : as the hour of twelve passed , and the new day began , it was by virtue of the constitution dissolved , its power extinct .
My father wished her not to go but said that he left it to her own judgment and feelings to decide .
`` He is dead '' said Adrian , as the corpse fell from his arms on the ground , and he bowed his head in sorrow and awe .
With all the energy of desperate grief I told him how I had fallen at once from bliss to misery ; how that for me there was no joy , no hope ; that death however bitter would be the welcome seal to all my pangs ; death the skeleton was to be beautiful as love .
The physician came and prescribed medicines , and the old woman prepared them for me ; but utter carelessness was visible in the first , and the expression of brutality was strongly marked in the visage of the second .
I shall not be suspected of being averse to the Greek cause ; I know and feel its necessity ; it is beyond every other a good cause .
Increase of knowledge only discovered to me more clearly what a wretched outcast I was .
For a moment only did I lose recollection ; I fell senseless on the ground .
I looked on these ; I turned my gaze to my own mean dress .
Nor did her angry dislike prevent Adrian from imaging my father , as he had said , the type of all that was gallant , amiable , and fascinating in man .
He had abandoned me , and in the bitterness of my heart I cursed him .
You , my creator , abhor me ; what hope can I gather from your fellow creatures , who owe me nothing ?
Under the idea of initiating me in the scene of English politics and society , of which I was soon to become a part , he narrated a number of anecdotes , and sketched many characters ; his discourse , rich and varied , flowed on , pervading all my senses with pleasure .
He talked of Geneva , which I should soon visit , of Elizabeth and Ernest ; but these words only drew deep groans from me .
We are born ; we choose neither our parents , nor our station ; we are educated by others , or by the world 's circumstance , and this cultivation , mingling with our innate disposition , is the soil in which our desires , passions , and motives grow . ''
I hailed the darkness that shut Ireland from my sight , and my pulse beat with a feverish joy when I reflected that I should soon see Geneva .
But a home of love awaits you in your native England .
I am glad that I have seen the changes of his day ; to behold the sun , fountain of light , and the gentle pilgrim moon ; to have seen the fire bearing flowers of the sky , and the flowery stars of earth ; to have witnessed the sowing and the harvest .
So saying , he stepped aside and wrote down a list of several books treating of natural philosophy which he desired me to procure , and dismissed me after mentioning that in the beginning of the following week he intended to commence a course of lectures upon natural philosophy in its general relations , and that M. Waldman , a fellow professor , would lecture upon chemistry the alternate days that he omitted .
Raymond , being somewhat recovered , prepared to re assume his command in the army .
The labour of winding among the little paths of the mountain and fixing my feet firmly as I advanced perplexed me , occupied as I was by the emotions which the occurrences of the day had produced .
He at last fell down in convulsions .
Sleep fled from my eyes ; I wandered like an evil spirit , for I had committed deeds of mischief beyond description horrible , and more , much more I persuaded myself was yet behind .
Your affectionate brother , Robert Walton Letter July th , To Mrs. Saville , England My dear Sister , I write a few lines in haste to say that I am safe and well advanced on my voyage .
Then we shall find Elinor and what I have lost .
His information was at first received with silence ; a confused murmur succeeded ; and , when the chairman declared Lord Raymond duly chosen , it amounted to a shout of applause and victory .
My abhorrence of this fiend can not be conceived .
Bankers , merchants , and manufacturers , whose trade depended on exports and interchange of wealth , became bankrupt .
My mother , pennyless and burthened with two children , waited week after week , and month after month , in sickening expectation of a reply , which never came .
We sunk into silence : a silence that drank in the doleful accounts and prognostications of our guest .
The least illness caused throes of terror ; she was miserable if she were at all absent from them ; her treasure of happiness she had garnered in their fragile being , and kept forever on the watch , lest the insidious thief should as before steal these valued gems .
I awoke half stupefied ; I felt a heavy oppression on me , but knew not wherefore ; I entered , as it were , the council chamber of my brain , and questioned the various ministers of thought therein assembled ; too soon I remembered all ; too soon my limbs quivered beneath the tormenting power ; soon , too soon , I knew myself a slave Suddenly , unannounced , Lord Raymond entered my apartment .
Her father grew worse ; her time was more entirely occupied in attending him ; her means of subsistence decreased ; and in the tenth month her father died in her arms , leaving her an orphan and a beggar .
Shall I not then hate them who abhor me ?
You seek for knowledge and wisdom , as I once did ; and I ardently hope that the gratification of your wishes may not be a serpent to sting you , as mine has been .
There were still a few hackney coaches accustomed to stand about the streets , more truly from habit than for use .
Felix visited the grate at night and made known to the prisoner his intentions in his favour .
You have given me new wants and now your trifle with me as if my heart were as whole as yours , as if I were not in truth a shorn lamb thrust out on the bleak hill side , tortured by every blast .
He perceived the cloud gathering , and tried to dissipate it ; but the strength of my feelings would not permit me to pass thus lightly over this sacred subject ; so I said emphatically , `` Permit me to remark , that I am devotedly attached to the Earl of Windsor ; he is my best friend and benefactor .
Wordsworth has compared a beloved female to two fair objects in nature ; but his lines always appeared to me rather a contrast than a similitude : A violet by a mossy stone Half hidden from the eye , Fair as a star when only one Is shining in the sky .
Raymond gave her his ring to ensure the respect of the menials .
He drew a glowing picture of its present situation .
I stood ready to receive and reply to his reproaches .
We were all equal now ; but near at hand was an equality still more levelling , a state where beauty and strength , and wisdom , would be as vain as riches and birth .
The death of William , the execution of Justine , the murder of Clerval , and lastly of my wife ; even at that moment I knew not that my only remaining friends were safe from the malignity of the fiend ; my father even now might be writhing under his grasp , and Ernest might be dead at his feet .
The night mare became torture ; with a strong effort I threw off sleep , and recalled reason to her wonted functions .
CHAPTER VI My chamber was in a retired part of the house , and looked upon the garden so that no sound of the other inhabitants could reach it ; and here in perfect solitude I wept for several hours .
The starry sky , the sea , and every sight afforded by these wonderful regions seem still to have the power of elevating his soul from earth .
She hardly looked up `` You can do me no good , '' she replied ; `` I must go to the hospital ; if I do not die before I get there . ''
I did not desire sympathy and aid in ambition or wisdom , but sweet and mutual affection ; smiles to cheer me and gentle words of comfort .
As Windsor lay , to a great degree , in the line of march from the west , I removed my family to London , assigning the Tower for their sojourn , and joining Adrian , acted as his Lieutenant in the coming struggle .
Ryland groaned ; cold drops stood on his brow .
I must be more brief for night draws on apace and all my hours in this house are counted .
For this was it a glorious , for this was it an honourable undertaking .
The tenor of my actions will prove that I had rather die , than be a mark for scorn behold the proud Evadne in her tatters look on the beggar princess There is aspic venom in the thought promise me that my secret shall not be violated by you . ''
After the revolution of ages Birnam hill was again covered with a young forest , while more aged pines , planted at the very commencement of the nineteenth century by the then Duke of Athol , gave solemnity and beauty to the scene .
But let me , it is my last entreaty , let me in the praises of his countrymen and the prosperity of England , find the choice of my youth justified . ''
Shall man be the enemy of man , while plague , the foe to all , even now is above us , triumphing in our butchery , more cruel than her own ? ''
I paused some time to reflect on all he had related and the various arguments which he had employed .
I was now conscious of a change .
I threw myself into the carriage that was to convey me away , hardly knowing whither I was going , and careless of what was passing around .
To change the scene for her , and even for ourselves , all unhinged by the cloud that had come over us , I persuaded my two remaining companions that it were better that we should absent ourselves for a time from Windsor .
But in the city things wore a different face .
I had determined , if you were going southwards , still to trust myself to the mercy of the seas rather than abandon my purpose .
His serious mien recalled , by some association , the half forgotten Evadne to my mind , and I seized this opportunity to make enquiries from him concerning her strange lot .
I ran on at my utmost speed until I found myself I knew not how , close to Westminster Abbey , and was attracted by the deep and swelling tone of the organ .
Do you think Nature composed his surpassing machine for no purpose ?
But these cares of Clerval were made of no avail when I visited the professors .
But Woodville 's words had magic in them , when beginning with the sweetest pity , he would raise me by degrees out of myself and my sorrows until I wondered at my own selfishness : but he left me and despair returned ; the work of consolation was ever to begin anew .
But I forget myself , my tale is yet untold .
Oh What a night it was And I passed on with quick steps among the high , dank grass amid the rain and tempest .
No father had watched my infant days , no mother had blessed me with smiles and caresses ; or if they had , all my past life was now a blot , a blind vacancy in which I distinguished nothing .
But life was yet strong within me ; I recovered : nor did it a little aid my returning health that my recollections were at first vague , and that I was too weak to feel any violent emotion .
She knew that Raymond had conversed with her ; had he instigated this request ?
Come , I see that you are already persuaded , and will second me when I propose him to night in parliament . ''
She listened eagerly to him , yet tantalized herself by giving to his words a meaning foreign to their true interpretation , and adverse to her hopes .
It was a life of toil ; for rain and cold were more frequent than sunshine ; but it was my pride to contemn the elements .
She was there , lifeless and inanimate , thrown across the bed , her head hanging down and her pale and distorted features half covered by her hair .
But although St. Stephen 's did not echo with the voice which filled each heart , the newspapers teemed with nothing else ; and in private companies the conversation however remotely begun , soon verged towards this central point , while voices were lowered and chairs drawn closer .
I go ; but remember , I shall be with you on your wedding night . ''
He demanded the place of deputy as his right .
Such would be my liberty except that in my Elizabeth I possessed a treasure , alas , balanced by those horrors of remorse and guilt which would pursue me until death .
I could not do otherwise , even if I had wished ; for if we are said to have two souls , he was my better soul , to which the other was a perpetual slave .
But her rights with regard to him , and her cherished independence , should not be injured by the idea of interest , or the intervention of the complicated feelings attendant on pecuniary obligation , and the relative situations of the benefactor , and benefited .
We entered London in the evening , and went to our several abodes near Hyde Park .
The care of me while a baby , and afterwards untill I had reached my eighth year devolved on a servant of my mother 's , who had accompanied us in our retirement for that purpose .
`` But do not you see , Lionel , the drift of our noble friend ; a drift , perhaps , unknown to himself , but apparent to me .
`` It is a strange link in my fate that without having seen you I should passionately love you .
I returned to Windsor by the Long Walk , and passing through the town towards the Castle , I found it in a state of agitation and disturbance .
We went together to the House in the evening .
My country , my beloved country who but a native can tell the delight I took in again beholding thy streams , thy mountains , and , more than all , thy lovely lake Yet , as I drew nearer home , grief and fear again overcame me .
Her countenance was all expression ; her eyes were not dark , but impenetrably deep ; you seemed to discover space after space in their intellectual glance , and to feel that the soul which was their soul , comprehended an universe of thought in its ken .
Thus far I have gone , tracing a secure way over the pathless seas , the very stars themselves being witnesses and testimonies of my triumph .
I had now neglected my promise for some time , and I feared the effects of the daemon 's disappointment .
Evadne 's feminine prudence perceived how useless any assertion of his resolves would be , till added years gave weight to his power .
He is a soldier , a general .
She tried to rouse herself , but her eyes every now and then filled with tears , and she looked wistfully on Raymond and her girl , as if fearful that some evil would betide them .
But such miseries could never intrude upon the domestic circle left to me , while , secluded in our beloved forest , we passed our lives in tranquillity .
Do you also join with my enemies to crush me , to condemn me as a murderer ? ''
Walking , riding , the common occupations of life , overcame him : he felt no pain , but seemed to tremble for ever on the verge of annihilation .
She spoke quickly , as if to convince herself ; she turned her eyes from the trees and forest paths she loved ; she hid her face in my bosom , and we yes , my masculine firmness dissolved we wept together consolatory tears , and then calm nay , almost cheerful , we returned to the castle .
Seven years ago , in her youthful prime , she had become attached to him ; he had served her country against the Turks ; he had in her own land acquired that military glory peculiarly dear to the Greeks , since they were still obliged inch by inch to fight for their security .
There was evidently something behind all this ; yet , when he appeared about to speak of that which was nearest his heart , he would abruptly turn away , and with a sigh endeavour to deliver the painful idea to the winds .
I appear to have strength , power , victory ; standing as a dome supporting column stands ; and I am a reed I have ambition , and that attains its aim ; my nightly dreams are realized , my waking hopes fulfilled ; a kingdom awaits my acceptance , my enemies are overthrown .
I heard of the difference of sexes , and the birth and growth of children , how the father doted on the smiles of the infant , and the lively sallies of the older child , how all the life and cares of the mother were wrapped up in the precious charge , how the mind of youth expanded and gained knowledge , of brother , sister , and all the various relationships which bind one human being to another in mutual bonds .
Perdita reproached us bitterly .
Do not endeavour to deprive me of my companion , the out cast 's friend .
At about midnight Raymond and I took leave of my sister , to return to town .
Great pains had been taken in the scenery to give the semblance of reality to the impossible .
As he spoke , I felt subject to him ; and all my boasted pride and strength were subdued by the honeyed accents of this blue eyed boy .
`` Next summer , '' said Adrian as we parted on our return to Windsor , `` will decide the fate of the human race .
And yet you are still unhappy and still avoid our society .
Such was the maniac language of her enthusiasm .
I have said , that the defects of her character awoke and acquired vigour from her unnatural position .
Perdita was sensible of the failing of the tide that fed her life .
Everything was made to yield to her wishes and her convenience .
Joy and exultation , were mine , to possess , and to save her .
I can do this I can marry Idris . ''
we asked : can we enter here ?
On every point of general literature he displays unbounded knowledge and a quick and piercing apprehension .
`` We know not what all this wide world means ; its strange mixture of good and evil .
And then of what use would be pursuit ?
Raymond was inspirited by the intense sensations of recovered health ; he felt that in being general of the Athenians , he filled a post worthy of his ambition ; and , in his hope of the conquest of Constantinople , he counted on an event which would be as a landmark in the waste of ages , an exploit unequalled in the annals of man ; when a city of grand historic association , the beauty of whose site was the wonder of the world , which for many hundred years had been the strong hold of the Moslems , should be rescued from slavery and barbarism , and restored to a people illustrious for genius , civilization , and a spirit of liberty .
We lengthened our tour into Scotland , that we might see Loch Katrine and Loch Lomond ; thence we crossed to Ireland , and passed several weeks in the neighbourhood of Killarney .
In a fit of enthusiastic madness I created a rational creature and was bound towards him to assure , as far as was in my power , his happiness and well being .
One of his servants , while waiting on him , had suddenly fallen down dead .
Then , agitated as she had been by her mother 's violence , and now by unaccustomed fears , she lay unable to sleep , starting at every sound .
The green woods waved their boughs majestically , while the dying were spread beneath their shade , answering the solemn melody with inharmonious cries .
She shed indeed many tears ; her head sunk unconsciously on the shoulder of Raymond ; he held her hand : he kissed her sunken tear stained cheek .
Yet how was I to do this ?
On landing at Athens we found difficulties encrease upon us : nor could the storied earth or balmy atmosphere inspire us with enthusiasm or pleasure , while the fate of Raymond was in jeopardy .
He had sought this office with eagerness , under the idea of turning his whole forces to the suppression of the privileged orders of our community .
In M. Waldman I found a true friend .
She told me , that she had kept up her strength and courage till her arrival at my cottage , and then both failed .
We felt extreme delight at our escape from political turmoil , and sought our solitude with redoubled zest .
But he has already recovered his spirits , and is reported to be on the point of marrying a lively pretty Frenchwoman , Madame Tavernier .
He shewed how England had become powerful , and its inhabitants valiant and wise , by means of the freedom they enjoyed .
She endeavoured to bring him up in a sense of resentment towards , and a desire to revenge himself upon , those who had been instrumental in bringing about his father 's abdication .
He would come triumphantly to the district to which my parent had fled broken hearted ; he would find the ill fated offspring , bequeathed with such vain confidence to his royal father , miserable paupers .
As my sickness quitted me , I was absorbed by a gloomy and black melancholy that nothing could dissipate .
For awhile my labours were not solitary ; but that time is gone ; and , with the selected and matchless companion of my toils , their dearest reward is also lost to me Di mie tenere frondi altro lavoro Credea mostrarte ; e qual fero pianeta Ne ' nvidio insieme , o mio nobil tesoro ?
His soul was sympathy , and dedicated to the worship of beauty and excellence .
I owe this to Greece , to you , to my surviving Perdita , and to myself , the victim of ambition . ''
I took it up and placed it in my breast .
There is an expression of despair , and sometimes of revenge , in your countenance that makes me tremble .
There was a show of gratitude and worship in his attachment to my mother , differing wholly from the doting fondness of age , for it was inspired by reverence for her virtues and a desire to be the means of , in some degree , recompensing her for the sorrows she had endured , but which gave inexpressible grace to his behaviour to her .
It came as some gentle visitation ; it went and I hardly felt the loss .
You minutely described in these papers every step you took in the progress of your work ; this history was mingled with accounts of domestic occurrences .
Why do you bring me out , and torture me , and tempt me , and kill me Much happier would it be for you and for me if in your frantic curiosity you tore my heart from my breast and tried to read its secrets in it as its life 's blood was dropping from it .
`` I thank you , but all that you mention is nothing to me ; on the whole earth there is no comfort which I am capable of receiving . ''
`` Now , dear Victor , I dare say you wish to be indulged in a little gossip concerning the good people of Geneva .
A few incidents now and then directed me , and I possessed a map of the country ; but I often wandered wide from my path .
The females received them on their return with the simple and affectionate welcome known before only to the lowly cottage a clean hearth and bright fire ; the supper ready cooked by beloved hands ; gratitude for the provision for to morrow 's meal : strange enjoyments for the high born English , yet they were now their sole , hard earned , and dearly prized luxuries .
In vain did the eye strive to find the wreck of some northern cloud in the stainless empyrean , which might bring hope of change and moisture to the oppressive and windless atmosphere .
Sometimes he thought that I felt deeply the degradation of being obliged to answer a charge of murder , and he endeavoured to prove to me the futility of pride .
My death is rapidly approaching and you are not near to watch the flitting and vanishing of my spirit .
He Woodville , mourned the loss of his bride : others wept the various forms of misery as they visited them : but infamy and guilt was mingled with my portion ; unlawful and detestable passion had poured its poison into my ears and changed all my blood , so that it was no longer the kindly stream that supports life but a cold fountain of bitterness corrupted in its very source .
He would embark in a balloon ; he would sail for a distant quarter of the world , where his name and humiliation were unknown .
By degrees his health was shaken by his misery , and then his intellect yielded to the same tyranny .
This answer startled me , but I presently recovered myself .
I found if sorrow was dead within me , so was love and desire of sympathy .
Listen to me , and then reflect if you ought to win me to your project , even if with the over bearing eloquence of despair you could make black death so inviting that the fair heaven should appear darkness .
At the moment , I felt convinced that I was acting for the best , and that all I did was right and even necessary .
You doubtless recollect these papers .
Some gazed on these processions with wild eagerness others fled timidly some wept aloud .
All factitious colouring disappeared death rose like night , and , protected by its murky shadows the blush of modesty , the reserve of pride , the decorum of prudery were frequently thrown aside as useless veils .
Then the appearance of death was distant , although the wish was ever present to my thoughts ; and I often sat for hours motionless and speechless , wishing for some mighty revolution that might bury me and my destroyer in its ruins .
While I was thus engaged , Ernest entered : he had heard me arrive , and hastened to welcome me : `` Welcome , my dearest Victor , '' said he . `` Ah I wish you had come three months ago , and then you would have found us all joyous and delighted .
Alfred 's serious air shewed that he still revolved the tragic story related by the Italian boy .
Such had been Ryland 's plan , and he was discovered dead and half devoured by insects , in a house many miles from any other , with piles of food laid up in useless superfluity .
She prayed for her husband 's soul ; she conjured the Supreme to place on her head the crime of his self destruction she vowed to live to expiate his fault .
It must be the excess of madness that could make me imagine that I could ever be aught but one alone ; struck off from humanity ; bearing no affinity to man or woman ; a wretch on whom Nature had set her ban .
Do you think that I will be questioned , and my replies disdainfully set aside ? Do you think that I will be suspected , perhaps watched , cross questioned , and disbelieved ?
Each felt , that England had never seen a Protector so capable of fulfilling the arduous duties of that high office .
HAPPY , thrice happy , were the months , and weeks , and hours of that year .
Adrian suddenly vanished ; and , by the time that Raymond 's supporters were reduced to our intimate friends merely , returned leading Idris to congratulate her friend on his success .
`` Yet how can I expect you to sympathize with me ?
I heard my sister 's sobs , and thought , happy are women who can weep , and in a passionate caress disburthen the oppression of their feelings ; shame and habitual restraint hold back a man .
Through this crevice a small room was visible , whitewashed and clean but very bare of furniture .
I did not tell her , that to spare her the pang of parting from inanimate objects , now the only things left , I had resolved that we should none of us return to Windsor .
I left a guard to protect this treasure of dust ; and ordered perpetual torches to be burned around .
`` And yet you rescued me from a strange and perilous situation ; you have benevolently restored me to life . ''
To the south then , to the sun where nature is kind , where Jove has showered forth the contents of Amalthea 's horn , and earth is garden .
If an old Roman of the period of the Republic had returned to life , and talked of the impending election of some laurel crowned consul , or of the last battle with Mithridates , his ideas would not have been more alien to the times , than the conversation of Merrival .
He feared that the intensity of his passion might become the subject of their ridicule ; and he could not bear that they should blaspheme it by considering that trivial and transitory which he felt was the life of his life .
How could I save them ?
Some of my comrades groaned , and my own mind began to grow watchful with anxious thoughts , when a strange sight suddenly attracted our attention and diverted our solicitude from our own situation .
The genius that enlightened her countenance , was now united to an expression of benevolence , which gave divine perfection to her beauty .
Agatha fainted , and Safie , unable to attend to her friend , rushed out of the cottage .
`` It was dark when I awoke ; I felt cold also , and half frightened , as it were , instinctively , finding myself so desolate .
We did not know how far he had to go , and soon separated , supposing that in a short time he would return to the palace with Perdita , and that they would not be sorry to find themselves alone .
The ruins of majestic oaks which had grown , flourished , and decayed during the progress of centuries , marked where the limits of the forest once reached , while the shattered palings and neglected underwood shewed that this part was deserted for the younger plantations , which owed their birth to the beginning of the nineteenth century , and now stood in the pride of maturity .
It was , indeed , a filthy process in which I was engaged .
Having cast her fate upon a die , and feeling secure of winning , she , whom I have named as bearing the stamp of queen of nations on her noble brow , now rose superior to humanity , and seemed in calm power , to arrest with her finger , the wheel of destiny .
Her person was formed in the most feminine proportions ; she was not tall , but her mountain life had given freedom to her motions , so that her light step scarce made her foot fall heard as she tript across the hall to meet me .
This was the only cloud in the azure of her happiness .
`` You turn from me ; yet before you deny me reflect , Woodville , how sweet it were to cast off the load of tears and misery under which we now labour : and surely we shall find light after we have passed the dark valley .
He was too upright and noble to do aught that his conscience would not approve ; I did not yet know of the crime there may be in involuntary feeling and therefore ascribed his tumultuous starts and gloomy looks wholly to the struggles of his mind and not any as they were partly due to the worst fiend of all Remorse .
After this Martha was seated more firmly than ever on the regal seat , elevated by reverence and love .
The latter method of obtaining the desired intelligence was dilatory and unsatisfactory ; besides , I had an insurmountable aversion to the idea of engaging myself in my loathsome task in my father 's house while in habits of familiar intercourse with those I loved .
I fulfilled my commission ; I saw Karazza .
Ay , ay , '' continued he , observing my face expressive of suffering , `` M .
During my father 's life time I had always been of an affectionate and forbearing disposition , but since those days of joy alas I was much changed .
We were lifted above the Alpine peaks , and from their deep and brawling ravines entered the plain of fair France , and after an airy journey of six days , we landed at Dieppe , furled the feathered wings , and closed the silken globe of our little pinnace .
Oh Beloved One , I am borne away ; I can no longer sustain myself ; surely this is death that is coming .
The very spirit of the Greek mythology inhabited my heart ; I deified the uplands , glades , and streams , I Had sight of Proteus coming from the sea ; And heard old Triton blow his wreathed horn .
`` As the night advanced , a fierce wind arose from the woods and quickly dispersed the clouds that had loitered in the heavens ; the blast tore along like a mighty avalanche and produced a kind of insanity in my spirits that burst all bounds of reason and reflection .
Genius , devotion , and courage ; the adornments of his mind , and the energies of his soul , all exerted to their uttermost stretch , could not roll back one hair 's breadth the wheel of time 's chariot ; that which had been was written with the adamantine pen of reality , on the everlasting volume of the past ; nor could agony and tears suffice to wash out one iota from the act fulfilled .
It is also a duty owed to yourself , for excessive sorrow prevents improvement or enjoyment , or even the discharge of daily usefulness , without which no man is fit for society . ''
I now sought Adrian , anxious to hear the result of his discussion with Ryland .
The news spread through Athens , and the whole city poured out at the gate of the Piraeus , down the roads , through the vineyards , the olive woods and plantations of fig trees , towards the harbour .
The blue Mediterranean appeared , and by a strange chance , I saw the fiend enter by night and hide himself in a vessel bound for the Black Sea .
This appeared to him the primary step towards manhood , and he was proportionably pleased .
If I can save one of her mighty spirits from the deadly shaft ; if I can ward disease from one of her smiling cottages , I shall not have lived in vain . ''
I watched over my hasty temper , subdued my burning impatience of character , schooled my self engrossing thoughts , educating myself to the best perfection I might attain , that the fruit of my exertions might be his happiness .
Our Castle became an asylum for the unhappy .
Regiment after regiment advanced , their colours flying and bands playing .
Soon we heard their disorderly clamour , the barbarian shouts , the untimed step of thousands coming on in disarray .
With sunken cheek and hollow eyes , pale and gaunt , how could I recognize the beloved of Perdita ?
I watched him , but could make but little of him .
I must do justice to my sweet sister : it was not for herself that she was thus agonized .
Their pronunciation was quick , and the words they uttered , not having any apparent connection with visible objects , I was unable to discover any clue by which I could unravel the mystery of their reference .
His course was speedily decided upon .
He was incapable of meeting these evils by any comprehensive system ; he had resorted to expedient after expedient , and could never be induced to put a remedy in force , till it came too late to be of use .
The sun of youth is not set for you ; it will restore vigour and life to you ; do not resist with obstinate grief its beneficent influence , oh , my child bless me with the hope that I have not utterly destroyed you .
Idris sat at the bedside , holding Evelyn 's hand ; we were afraid to speak to each other ; I watched the stars I hung over my child I felt his little pulse I drew near the mother again I receded .
Then mighty art thou , O wind , to be throned above all other vicegerents of nature 's power ; whether thou comest destroying from the east , or pregnant with elementary life from the west ; thee the clouds obey ; the sun is subservient to thee ; the shoreless ocean is thy slave Thou sweepest over the earth , and oaks , the growth of centuries , submit to thy viewless axe ; the snow drift is scattered on the pinnacles of the Alps , the avalanche thunders down their vallies .
But it was augmented and rendered sublime by the mighty Alps , whose white and shining pyramids and domes towered above all , as belonging to another earth , the habitations of another race of beings .
I and my enemy were still struggling , when the wounded man exclaimed , `` The Earl '' I sprang out of the herculean hold of the keeper , panting from my exertions ; I cast furious glances on my persecutors , and placing myself with my back to a tree , resolved to defend myself to the last .
They were in the end all sunk , and , with the exception of two or three prisoners , the crews drowned .
Adrian replied , `` Whither indeed would you fly ?
But I did not feel the inconvenience of the weather ; my imagination was busy in scenes of evil and despair .
I often refused to accompany him , alleging another engagement , that I might remain alone .
I RETURNED to my family estate in the autumn of the year .
At first his mother treated his theories as the wild ravings of inexperience .
Perhaps , after the labours and stupendous excitement of the past summer , the calm of winter and the almost menial toils it brought with it , were by natural re action doubly irksome .
My father observed with pain the alteration perceptible in my disposition and habits and endeavoured by arguments deduced from the feelings of his serene conscience and guiltless life to inspire me with fortitude and awaken in me the courage to dispel the dark cloud which brooded over me .
This state lasted but for an instant ; the scream was repeated , and I rushed into the room .
But other generations will arise , and ever and for ever will continue , to be made happier by our present acts , to be glorified by our valour .
Soon some people , deputed by the magistrates , came to remove the body ; the unfortunate being saw a jailor in each he fled precipitately , while I passed onwards to the Castle .
Sheath your weapons ; these are your brothers , commit not fratricide ; soon the plague will not leave one for you to glut your revenge upon : will you be more pitiless than pestilence ?
This reflection thawed my congealing blood , and again the tide of life and love flowed impetuously onward , again to ebb as my busy thoughts changed .
My companion looked eagerly from one bed to the other , till at the end of the ward she espied , on a wretched bed , a squalid , haggard creature , writhing under the torture of disease .
`` This reading had puzzled me extremely at first , but by degrees I discovered that he uttered many of the same sounds when he read as when he talked .
I revolved again and again all that I remembered my mother to have told me of my father 's former life ; I contemplated the few relics I possessed belonging to him , which spoke of greater refinement than could be found among the mountain cottages ; but nothing in all this served as a guide to lead me to another and pleasanter way of life .
I little expected , in this enlightened and scientific age , to find a disciple of Albertus Magnus and Paracelsus .
She continued her course along the precipitous sides of the river , when suddenly her foot slipped , and she fell into the rapid stream .
The perfect confidence that subsisted between Perdita and him , rendered every communication common between them .
To tell all my grief I might as well attempt to count the tears that have fallen from these eyes , or every sign that has torn my heart .
Does not a stream , boundless as ocean , deep as vacuum , yawn between us ? '' Raymond rose , his voice was broken , his features convulsed , his manner calm as the earthquake cradling atmosphere , he replied : `` I am rejoiced that you take my decision so philosophically .
Yesterday those limbs were worth an universe ; they then enshrined a transcendant power , whose intents , words , and actions were worthy to be recorded in letters of gold ; now the superstition of affection alone could give value to the shattered mechanism , which , incapable and clod like , no more resembled Raymond , than the fallen rain is like the former mansion of cloud in which it climbed the highest skies , and gilded by the sun , attracted all eyes , and satiated the sense by its excess of beauty .
Perhaps also my passion was lulled to content by the deep and exclusive affection you felt for me .
Some trifling business of the House having been gone through , the leaders took their seats in the chamber ; the clamour of voices continued , till Ryland arose to speak , and then the slightest whispered observation was audible .
I had sufficient leisure for these and many other reflections during my journey to Ingolstadt , which was long and fatiguing .
I covered it carefully with dry wood and leaves and placed wet branches upon it ; and then , spreading my cloak , I lay on the ground and sank into sleep .
The selected passion of the soul of Raymond was ambition .
But he found that a traveller 's life is one that includes much pain amidst its enjoyments .
The forest was dressed in green ; the young calves frisked on the new sprung grass ; the wind winged shadows of light clouds sped over the green cornfields ; the hermit cuckoo repeated his monotonous all hail to the season ; the nightingale , bird of love and minion of the evening star , filled the woods with song ; while Venus lingered in the warm sunset , and the young green of the trees lay in gentle relief along the clear horizon .
You must not shut me from all communion with you : do not tell me why you grieve but only say the words , `` I am unhappy , '' and you will feel relieved as if for some time excluded from all intercourse by some magic spell you should suddenly enter again the pale of human sympathy .
My poor sister looked at the counsellor with affright .
Sorrow doubles the burthen to the bent down back ; plants thorns in the unyielding pillow ; mingles gall with water ; adds saltness to their bitter bread ; cloathing them in rags , and strewing ashes on their bare heads .
My promise fulfilled , the monster would depart forever .
Whence , I often asked myself , did the principle of life proceed ?
I reflected on this , and by touching the various branches , I discovered the cause and busied myself in collecting a great quantity of wood , that I might dry it and have a plentiful supply of fire .
Adrian leaned against the wall .
Woodville for ever rose in glory ; and Elinor become more lovely and wise under the lessons of her accomplished lover .
I had become arrogant , peevish , and above all suspicious .
A murmur of approbation followed Elizabeth 's simple and powerful appeal , but it was excited by her generous interference , and not in favour of poor Justine , on whom the public indignation was turned with renewed violence , charging her with the blackest ingratitude .
`` You will ask me , '' continued Evadne , `` what I have done since ; why I have not applied for succour to the rich Greeks resident here ; why I have not returned to my native country ?
She threw open her window , which looked on the palace garden .
Sometimes she struggled with her tears , but when she was desired to plead , she collected her powers and spoke in an audible although variable voice .
I prayed them to save even from himself this scion of the noblest family in England .
When she became a widow , she turned all her thoughts to the educating her son Adrian , second Earl of Windsor , so as to accomplish her ambitious ends ; and with his mother 's milk he imbibed , and was intended to grow up in the steady purpose of re acquiring his lost crown .
This attack was directed against Raymond and his machinations for the restoration of the monarchy .
Chapter `` Some time elapsed before I learned the history of my friends .
I relied on your innocence , and although I was then very wretched , I was not so miserable as I am now . ''
We came at last , methought , to the brow of a huge cliff that over hung the sea which , troubled by the winds , dashed against its base at a distance .
Its ponderous mass , blackened stone , and high dome , made it look , not like a temple , but a tomb .
Why am I to give an account of myself ?
`` Raymond has prophesied well , '' said Perdita , `` alas , that it should be so our present mode of life can not continue long , yet I will not be the first to propose alteration .
`` My dear girl , '' he said , `` I have been to blame ; but you must pardon me .
`` And my brother ? '' `` Is on deck , Madam . ''
`` I can offer you no consolation , my friend , '' said he ; `` your disaster is irreparable .
His praises were so many adder 's stings infixed in my vulnerable breast .
Among better natures , anguish and dread , the fear of eternal separation , and the awful wonder produced by unprecedented calamity , drew closer the ties of kindred and friendship .
While the earth lasts , his actions will be recorded with praise .
But my essay towards bringing her to a saner view of her own situation , did not end here .
I thought I saw Elizabeth , in the bloom of health , walking in the streets of Ingolstadt .
After a short repose I prepared to leave her , that I might endeavour to accomplish her wish .
The time at length arrives when grief is rather an indulgence than a necessity ; and the smile that plays upon the lips , although it may be deemed a sacrilege , is not banished .
Each vessel in the mean time brought exhilarating tidings from Greece .
My sister was struck by my narrative : `` How beyond the imagination of man , '' she exclaimed , `` are the decrees of heaven , wondrous and inexplicable '' `` Foolish girl , '' cried Raymond angrily , `` are you like my valiant soldiers , panic struck ?
It is impossible for you to see the real designer ; your instructions must pass through me .
If we traversed a mountain , Greece , a living map , was spread beneath , her renowned pinnacles cleaving the ether ; her rivers threading in silver line the fertile land .
I was undisturbed by thoughts which during the preceding year had pressed upon me , notwithstanding my endeavours to throw them off , with an invincible burden .
If misfortune come against us we must fight with her ; we must cast her aside , and still go on to find out that which it is our nature to desire .
There was a curious feeling of unreality attached by him to his foreign life in comparison with the years of his youth .
In all this there was a strangeness that attracted and enchanted me .
IS there such a feeling as love at first sight ?
The object of her life was to do him pleasure : it had been so before , but with a difference .
I wished sometimes to shake off all thought and feeling , but I learned that there was but one means to overcome the sensation of pain , and that was death a state which I feared yet did not understand .
As the period fixed for our marriage drew nearer , whether from cowardice or a prophetic feeling , I felt my heart sink within me .
I sat with Perdita and soothed her , by my seeming assent to her wild scheme .
and does he not delight singly in such efforts as manifest his love to all ?
I listened quietly , and when he paused would again pour out my misery in expressions that shewed how far too deep my wounds were for any cure .
`` You travelled to seek happiness , but a fatality seems to pursue you .
`` What if some little payne the passage have That makes frayle flesh to fear the bitter wave ?
I was born for something greater than I was and greater I would become ; but greatness , at least to my distorted perceptions , was no necessary associate of goodness , and my wild thoughts were unchecked by moral considerations when they rioted in dreams of distinction .
About two o'clock the mist cleared away , and we beheld , stretched out in every direction , vast and irregular plains of ice , which seemed to have no end .
I established myself at his bedside ; I never quitted it day or night .
We became ephemera , to whom the interval between the rising and setting sun was as a long drawn year of common time .
On returning home , the captain of the steam packet with whom I had agreed to sail , came to tell me , that accidental circumstances hastened his departure , and that , if I went with him , I must come on board at five on the following morning .
I was struck by his exceeding beauty , and as he spoke to thank me the sweet but melancholy cadence of his voice brought tears into my eyes .
At eleven years of age Diana was his favourite playmate but he already talked the language of love .
As he went on I felt as if my soul were grappling with a palpable enemy ; one by one the various keys were touched which formed the mechanism of my being ; chord after chord was sounded , and soon my mind was filled with one thought , one conception , one purpose .
She was warmly attached to the child who is now dead and acted towards him like a most affectionate mother .
Our dainty fare was often exchanged for blows and imprisonment .
Ye who are linked by the affectionate ties of nature , companions , friends , lovers fathers , who toil with joy for their offspring ; women , who while gazing on the living forms of their children , forget the pains of maternity ; children , who neither toil nor spin , but love and are loved `` Oh , that death and sickness were banished from our earthly home that hatred , tyranny , and fear could no longer make their lair in the human heart that each man might find a brother in his fellow , and a nest of repose amid the wide plains of his inheritance that the source of tears were dry , and that lips might no longer form expressions of sorrow .
I gave the right place to every personage in the groupe , the just balance to every sentiment .
The ballots had been thrown ; they were all black , and Justine was condemned .
He had bought it , he said , with danger , and paid for it with toil .
Even at this early age , he was deep read and imbued with the spirit of high philosophy .
The beatings of my human heart drew me back to blank reality .
Pestilence then made a pause in her death dealing career .
`` And you escaped ? '' `` No , but I recovered . ''
I could perceive that , when I recalled my sister 's thoughts to her duties in life , she did not listen with the same patience as before .
But in this I am a coward .
During the whole of this wretched mockery of justice I suffered living torture .
She did not appear to understand him , but smiled .
O wherefore are love and ruin for ever joined in this our mortal dream ?
Sometimes , when nature , overcome by hunger , sank under the exhaustion , a repast was prepared for me in the desert that restored and inspirited me .
As the trial had proceeded , her countenance had altered .
She had not confided in me ; I could not demand an explanation from Raymond without the hazard of betraying what was perhaps her most treasured secret .
But that country had so many resources in the way of agriculture , that the rush of population from one part of it to another , and its increase through foreign emigration , was less felt than with us .
No matter : I do not wish to plead my cause before any of them , not even before your Lordship , had you not first discovered me .
`` I could mention innumerable instances which , although slight , marked the dispositions of these amiable cottagers .
The plague at Athens had been preceded and caused by the contagion from the East ; and the scene of havoc and death continued to be acted there , on a scale of fearful magnitude .
Believe me , I will never desert life untill this last hope is torn from my bosom , that in some way my labours may form a link in the chain of gold with which we ought all to strive to drag Happiness from where she sits enthroned above the clouds , now far beyond our reach , to inhabit the earth with us .
Most of the night she spent here watching ; towards morning she believed that she slept for a few minutes ; some steps disturbed her , and she awoke .
`` Nevertheless , I will try it , '' said my companion ; `` it may lead to the real cavern .
Some erect and manly spirits still remained , pillars of state ; but the word republic had grown stale to the vulgar ear ; and many the event would prove whether it was a majority pined for the tinsel and show of royalty .
I did not wish to refuse them ; but in my heart of hearts , I made a vow to devote life , knowledge , and power , all of which , in as much as they were of any value , he had bestowed on me all , all my capacities and hopes , to him alone I would devote .
Having parted from my friend , I determined to visit some remote spot of Scotland and finish my work in solitude .
Raymond and I made a part of the concert , and Adrian and Perdita were devout listeners .
Although the real interest of my narration is now ended and I ought quickly to wind up its melancholy catastrophe , yet I will relate one instance of my sad suspicion and despair and how Woodville with the goodness and almost the power of an angel , softened my rugged feelings and led me back to gentleness .
`` As I read , however , I applied much personally to my own feelings and condition .
Notwithstanding my lawless habits , my disposition was sociable , hers recluse .
After a succession of these , which our resolution alone permitted us to surmount , we arrived at a wide cavern with an arched dome like roof .
My father was in the meantime overjoyed and in the bustle of preparation only recognized in the melancholy of his niece the diffidence of a bride .
The northern breeze as it refreshed me was sweeter and more balmy for it seemed to carry some of your spirit along with it .
I , who have so disinterested an affection for you , may increase your miseries tenfold by being an obstacle to your wishes .
My rage is unspeakable when I reflect that the murderer , whom I have turned loose upon society , still exists .
If I do , swear to me , Walton , that he shall not escape , that you will seek him and satisfy my vengeance in his death .
`` One night during my accustomed visit to the neighbouring wood where I collected my own food and brought home firing for my protectors , I found on the ground a leathern portmanteau containing several articles of dress and some books .
We were set down at St. Bartholomew 's , and entered the wretched precincts of the house of disease .
O , for some medicinal vial to purge unwholesome nature , and bring back the earth to its accustomed health Ryland was a man of strong intellects and quick and sound decision in the usual course of things , but he stood aghast at the multitude of evils that gathered round us .
Hereafter this will be the cynosure of Greece .
I was perplexed , and most anxious to know what this portended ; ah , what could it portend but ruin I saw little of my father during this interval , but he appeared calmer although not less unhappy than before .
The untaught peasant beheld the elements around him and was acquainted with their practical uses .
Have we lost the power of rendering you happy ?
He was not , as the other traveller seemed to be , a savage inhabitant of some undiscovered island , but a European .
Your summits are clear ; the sky and lake are blue and placid .
She communicated her gaiety to us , and as we amused ourselves on the Castle Terrace , it appeared that a happier , less care worn party could not have been assembled .
Shall I respect man when he condemns me ?
On the last day , two candidates only were allowed to remain ; and to obviate , if possible , the last struggle between these , a bribe was offered to him who should voluntarily resign his pretensions ; a place of great emolument and honour was given him , and his success facilitated at a future election .
And what is each human being worth , if he do not put forth his strength to aid his fellow creatures ?
She did him justice ; she believed that he felt a tender affection for her ; but give a paltry prize to him who in some life pending lottery has calculated on the possession of tens of thousands , and it will disappoint him more than a blank .
With the breaking of morning I was accoutred for my ride .
For long years these are the first days of peace that have visited me .
Such hope as theirs , we also may entertain Old fable tells us , that this gentle spirit sprung from the box of Pandora , else crammed with evils ; but these were unseen and null , while all admired the inspiriting loveliness of young Hope ; each man 's heart became her home ; she was enthroned sovereign of our lives , here and here after ; she was deified and worshipped , declared incorruptible and everlasting .
I knelt on the grass and kissed the earth and with quivering lips exclaimed , `` By the sacred earth on which I kneel , by the shades that wander near me , by the deep and eternal grief that I feel , I swear ; and by thee , O Night , and the spirits that preside over thee , to pursue the daemon who caused this misery , until he or I shall perish in mortal conflict .
Wretched beings crawled to die under our succouring roof ; the inhabitants of the Castle decreased daily , while the survivors huddled together in fear , and , as in a famine struck boat , the sport of the wild , interminable waves , each looked in the other 's face , to guess on whom the death lot would next fall .
During the pathetic appeal with which it concludes , a stifled sob attracted our attention to Perdita , the cessation of the music recalled her to herself , she hastened out of the hall I followed her .
And when , on the morrow , she presented Elizabeth to me as her promised gift , I , with childish seriousness , interpreted her words literally and looked upon Elizabeth as mine mine to protect , love , and cherish .
I could hardly believe that so great a good fortune could have befallen me , but when I became assured that my enemy had indeed fled , I clapped my hands for joy and ran down to Clerval .
His name as Protector was the burthen of every tongue ; his achievements , projects , and magnificence , the argument of every story .
At day break I hastened to the woods ; the hours past on while I indulged in wild dreams that gave wings to the slothful steps of time , and beguiled my eager impatience .
I read merely to understand their meaning , and they well repaid my labours .
Not because the way was smooth and placid as a southern sea , but because it was full of dangers and terror , because at every new incident your fortitude was to be called forth and your courage exhibited , because danger and death surrounded it , and these you were to brave and overcome .
Alas my companion did , and I was precipitated in his fall .
When night came again I found , with pleasure , that the fire gave light as well as heat and that the discovery of this element was useful to me in my food , for I found some of the offals that the travellers had left had been roasted , and tasted much more savoury than the berries I gathered from the trees .
My haggard and wild appearance awoke intense alarm , but I answered no question , scarcely did I speak .
He hastened to take me aside , and disclosed to me with rapidity his plan of emigration from England .
It is impossible to communicate to you a conception of the trembling sensation , half pleasurable and half fearful , with which I am preparing to depart .
His wife was one of those wondrous beings , to be found only among women , with affections not to be diminished by misfortune .
Wild beyond the imagination of the happy are the thoughts bred by misery and despair .
Then I wandered from the fancies of others and formed affections and intimacies with the aerial creations of my own brain but still clinging to reality I gave a name to these conceptions and nursed them in the hope of realization .
A strange story was rife here .
Why did dark night adorn herself with stars man saw them not ?
But they were ever together and their happiness seemed that of Paradise : they studied together : formed plans of future occupations , and drinking in love and joy from each other 's eyes and words they hardly repined at the delay to their entire union .
In the hurry of the moment I forgot that I was in Greece , and in my native accents endeavoured to soothe the sufferer .
If he were truly my friend he would have calculated all this ; and let me now calculate this boasted friendship , and discover its real worth .
At first I perceived that he tried to suppress his emotion ; he placed his hands before his eyes , and my voice quivered and failed me as I beheld tears trickle fast from between his fingers ; a groan burst from his heaving breast .
His protectorate was to be distinguished by every kind of innovation on the aristocracy .
You have cast yourself from among us and you wither on this wild plain forlorn and helpless : some dreadful calamity must have befallen you .
It required hands stronger than mine ; stronger I do believe than any human force to break the thick , adamantine chain that has bound me , once breathing nothing but joy , ever possessed by a warm love delight in goodness , to misery only to be ended , and now about to be ended , in death .
Patience , gentleness , and untired affection , shall recall him , if it be true , as Raymond says , that he is mad ; energy and courage shall rescue him , if he be unjustly imprisoned .
Would they dare wrong him thus ?
Will you tell him that he must excuse me to day , for I am not well .
His life was swallowed up in the existence of his beloved ; and his heart beat only in unison with the pulsations that vivified hers .
I was alone the whole evening .
That drink will plunge us in a sweet slumber , and when we awaken what joy will be ours to find all our sorrows and fears past .
She had just entered her twentieth year , and she and her lover were obliged to submit to this delay .
This whole winter , instead of being spent in study , as you promised yourself , has been consumed in my sick room .
At length we reached the overhanging beach ; a cottage stood beside the path ; we knocked at the door and it was opened : the bed within instantly caught my eye ; something stiff and straight lay on it , covered by a sheet ; the cottagers looked aghast .
My poor love and I looked at each other , and our babes .
I never beheld anything so utterly destroyed .
While every mind was full of dismay at its effects , a craving for excitement had led us to peruse De Foe 's account , and the masterly delineations of the author of Arthur Mervyn .
The night passed away , and the sun rose from the ocean ; my feelings became calmer , if it may be called calmness when the violence of rage sinks into the depths of despair .
The agonies of remorse poison the luxury there is otherwise sometimes found in indulging the excess of grief .
`` This is mockery , '' I replied , `` you devote yourself , you , the adored brother of Idris , the being , of all the world contains , dearest to our hearts you devote yourself to an early death .
His enthusiasm for good which did not exist ; his contempt for the sacredness of authority ; his ardour and imprudence were all at the antipodes of the usual routine of life ; the worldly feared him ; the young and inexperienced did not understand the lofty severity of his moral views , and disliked him as a being different from themselves .
I paused ; at length he spoke , in broken accents : `` Unhappy man Do you share my madness ?
But it is this gloom which appears to have taken so strong a hold of your mind that I wish to dissipate .
He came by sea from Constantinople to Athens .
He had caused the best room in the prison to be prepared for me wretched indeed was the best ; and it was he who had provided a physician and a nurse .
I looked on the heavens , which were covered by clouds that flew before the wind , only to be replaced by others ; I looked upon the sea ; it was to be my grave .
Perhaps he did this because he saw a cloud upon Perdita 's brow .
Raymond promised ; but then a new discussion ensued .
As I waited for the carriage I walked up and down with a quick pace ; then kneeling and passionately clasping my hands I tried to pray but my voice was choked by convulsive sobs Oh the sun shone , the air was balmy he must yet live for if he were dead all would surely be black as night to me The motion of the carriage knowing that it carried me towards him and that I might perhaps find him alive somewhat revived my courage : yet I had a dreadful ride .
`` Shame on the country , '' said Ryland , `` to lay so much stress upon words and frippery ; it is a question of nothing ; of the new painting of carriage pannels and the embroidery of footmen 's coats . ''
The evil is come home to us , and we must not shrink from our fate .
We , in our retirement , remained long in ignorance of her misfortune .
The lower and vagabond English joined with them .
He repined for the loss of what was more necessary to him than air or food the excitements of pleasure , the admiration of the noble , the luxurious and polished living of the great .
As we advanced , we were met by bands of peasantry , whose almost naked condition , whose despair and horror , told at once the fierce nature of the coming enemy .
The floor was a little raised , so that it was kept perfectly dry , and by its vicinity to the chimney of the cottage it was tolerably warm .
At other times he repeated my favourite poems , or drew me out into arguments , which he supported with great ingenuity .
What was my destination ?
My improvement was his delight ; he was with me during all my studies and assisted or joined with me in every lesson .
He was like a poet of old whom the muses had crowned in his cradle , and on whose lips bees had fed .
Shut in , however , by ice , it was impossible to follow his track , which we had observed with the greatest attention .
Beloved and venerable parent He still remained to me .
He raised his eyes from the ground , but still turning them away from me , said : `` Besought by that plea I will answer your rash question .
He descended the hill with a face beaming with triumph , and pointing with his sword to the gates , commanded his troops to down with those barricades the only obstacles now to completest victory .
I found that the berries were spoiled by this operation , and the nuts and roots much improved .
While there is life there is action and change .
But now my boasted independence was daily instigating me to acts of tyranny , and freedom was becoming licentiousness .
He was now our Lord Protector .
Whatever I was about to reply , was interrupted by the powerful emotions of Clara .
I remembered Adam 's supplication to his Creator .
The plague was forgotten , in this new fear which the black sun had spread ; and , though the dead multiplied , and the streets of Ispahan , of Pekin , and of Delhi were strewed with pestilence struck corpses , men passed on , gazing on the ominous sky , regardless of the death beneath their feet .
Her pallet and easel were now thrown aside ; did she try to paint , thronging recollections made her hand tremble , her eyes fill with tears .
On one side was a small opening .
According to the vulgar superstition , my dress , my person , the air I breathed , bore in it mortal danger to myself and others .
All events , at the same time that they deeply interested me , arranged themselves in pictures before me .
The two forces mingling , unarmed and hand in hand , talking only how each might assist the other , the adversaries conjoined ; each repenting , the one side their former cruelties , the other their late violence , they obeyed the orders of the General to proceed towards London .
She had to play the part of a courteous hostess ; to attend to all ; to shine the focus of enjoyment and grace .
Farewell , my only living friend ; you are the sole tie that binds me to existence , and now I break it .
I will see him to morrow if he wishes it , and you also .
Late in the evening she entered the apartments appropriated to the festival .
Though Constantinople be heaped above him as a tomb , yet I must find him then cover us with the city 's weight , with a mountain piled above I care not , so that one grave hold Raymond and his Perdita . ''
The weather was fine ; it was about the middle of the month of August , nearly two months after the death of Justine , that miserable epoch from which I dated all my woe .
Raymond 's answer was brief .
Such a tale filled the trumpet of many voiced fame ; such a tale rendered my longer stay at Vienna , away from the friend of my youth , intolerable .
But you have a husband and lovely children ; you may be happy .
He had come forth from the hands of God a perfect creature , happy and prosperous , guarded by the especial care of his Creator ; he was allowed to converse with and acquire knowledge from beings of a superior nature , but I was wretched , helpless , and alone .
It was , in fact , a sledge , like that we had seen before , which had drifted towards us in the night on a large fragment of ice .
The same lulling sounds acted as a lullaby to my too keen sensations ; when I placed my head upon my pillow , sleep crept over me ; I felt it as it came and blessed the giver of oblivion .
He had traced the man to one of the most penurious streets in the metropolis .
Clara and Alfred followed .
In no one moment of coming time did I feel as I had done in time gone by .
I felt light , and hunger , and thirst , and darkness ; innumerable sounds rang in my ears , and on all sides various scents saluted me ; the only object that I could distinguish was the bright moon , and I fixed my eyes on that with pleasure .
Her mother , all eyes and ears , soon interrupted us ; and I saw , that she wished to dismiss me quietly , as one whose services , now that his relatives had arrived , were of no use to her son .
My sister 's heightened colour and sparkling eyes half revealed her secret to me .
Thus , notwithstanding the thoughtless delight that waited on its commencement , the impression I have of my life at Vienna is melancholy .
She feared to lose sight of him ; yet she dreaded to remark any change in the temper of his mind .
Why should this be , if HE were not good ?
She accused herself of his journey to Greece his dangers his imprisonment .
Their melancholy is soothing , and their joy elevating , to a degree I never experienced in studying the authors of any other country .
This is no sudden fancy ; I live by it .
But let us go ; to morrow we will arrange to ride out together , and proceeding towards that part of the forest , call upon him . ''
My father was very little changed from what he described himself to be before his misfortunes .
Relations of what he had done , conjectures concerning his future actions , were the never failing topics of the hour .
He often thanked us for the books we lent him , and for the use of our instruments , but never spoke of his altered abode or change of circumstances .
He talked of general subjects , and gave me ideas I had never before conceived .
I awoke exhausted , and finding that it was already night , I crept forth from my hiding place , and went in search of food .
I lay on the deck looking at the stars and listening to the dashing of the waves .
When he conversed with me his manner was cold and constrained ; his eyes only seemed to speak , and as he turned their black , full lustre towards me they expressed a living sadness .
While my companion contemplated with a serious and satisfied spirit the magnificent appearances of things , I delighted in investigating their causes .
I lay on the ground , and giving the reins to my thoughts , repassed in my mind my former life ; and began , fold by fold , to unwind the many errors of my heart , and to discover how brutish , savage , and worthless I had hitherto been .
It gives me no pain to leave you ; nor can our seperation give you much .
I pored over the poetry of old times ; I studied the metaphysics of Plato and Berkeley .
The student left his books , the artist his study : the occupations of life were gone , but the amusements remained ; enjoyment might be protracted to the verge of the grave .
My thoughts were gems to enrich the treasure house of man 's intellectual possessions ; each sentiment was a precious gift I bestowed on them .
All this has a different effect upon Raymond .
Wherefore should this be ?
`` 'Excellent man I thank you and accept your generous offer .
Perdita prepared to follow him with her child .
The affection and amity of a Raymond might be inestimable ; but , beyond that affection , embosomed deeper than friendship , was the indivisible treasure of love .
That season was now gone ; and winter had set in with sudden and unusual severity .
Justine also was a girl of merit and possessed qualities which promised to render her life happy ; now all was to be obliterated in an ignominious grave , and I the cause A thousand times rather would I have confessed myself guilty of the crime ascribed to Justine , but I was absent when it was committed , and such a declaration would have been considered as the ravings of a madman and would not have exculpated her who suffered through me .
My food is not that of man ; I do not destroy the lamb and the kid to glut my appetite ; acorns and berries afford me sufficient nourishment .
Ask where now was this favourite of fashion , this companion of the noble , this excelling beam , which gilt with alien splendour the assemblies of the courtly and the gay you heard that he was under a cloud , a lost man ; not one thought it belonged to him to repay pleasure by real services , or that his long reign of brilliant wit deserved a pension on retiring .
At length she rose , more composed , not less miserable .
The wind howled ; the half bare trees were despoiled of the remainder of their summer ornament ; the state of the air which induced the decay of vegetation , was hostile to cheerfulness or hope .
Ryland was the leader of the popular party , a hard headed man , and in his way eloquent ; he had obtained leave to bring in a bill making it treason to endeavour to change the present state of the English government and the standing laws of the republic .
The better sort of houses were shut up ; the busy trade of the town palsied ; there was an air of anxiety among the few passengers I met , and they looked wonderingly at my carriage the first they had seen pass towards London , since pestilence sat on its high places , and possessed its busy streets .
The world is vast , and England , though her many fields and wide spread woods seem interminable , is but a small part of her .
I ardently desired to understand them , and bent every faculty towards that purpose , but found it utterly impossible .
Some hours passed thus ; but by degrees , as the sun declined towards the horizon , the wind died away into a gentle breeze and the sea became free from breakers .
These bleak skies I hail , for they are kinder to me than your fellow beings .
Thus then I should meet this titled stripling the son of my father 's friend .
I took up Spencer and read the descent of Sir Guyon to the halls of Avarice ; while he listened his eyes fixed on me in sad profound silence .
Mexico laid waste by the united effects of storm , pestilence and famine .
My only excuse for thus transforming them , is that they were unintelligible in their pristine condition .
The sharp frost and heavy snows tamed the animals , and kept the country gentlemen by their firesides ; we got more game than we could eat , and my faithful dog grew sleek upon our refuse .
It is painful , I allow , destructive , impracticable .
The loving heart , obliged to contract its view , bestowed its overflow of affection in triple portion on the few that remained .
Once even , Adrian ventured to propose her receiving me .
It drinks the dark blood of the inhabitant of the south , but it never feasts on the pale faced Celt .
During my father 's life , she had been made familiar with the name of royalty and the courtly circle ; but such things , ill according with her personal experience , appeared , after the loss of him who gave substance and reality to them , vague and fantastical .
I had before been moved by the sophisms of the being I had created ; I had been struck senseless by his fiendish threats ; but now , for the first time , the wickedness of my promise burst upon me ; I shuddered to think that future ages might curse me as their pest , whose selfishness had not hesitated to buy its own peace at the price , perhaps , of the existence of the whole human race .
He loved to dwell on what might have been the state of the earth before man lived on it , and how he first arose and gradually became the strange , complicated , but as he said , the glorious creature he now is .
These events have affected me , God knows how deeply ; but I am not so wretched as you are .
I had become unfit for any intercourse , even with Woodville the most gentle and sympathizing creature that existed .
I stretched out my hand to him and cried , `` Are you , then , safe and Elizabeth and Ernest ? ''
I loved you as a human father might be supposed to love a daughter borne to him by a heavenly mother ; as Anchises might have regarded the child of Venus if the sex had been changed ; love mingled with respect and adoration .
Her own father had been an emigrant from another part of the country , and had died long since : they had no one relation to take them by the hand ; they were outcasts , paupers , unfriended beings , to whom the most scanty pittance was a matter of favour , and who were treated merely as children of peasants , yet poorer than the poorest , who , dying , had left them , a thankless bequest , to the close handed charity of the land .
But again when I reflected that they had spurned and deserted me , anger returned , a rage of anger , and unable to injure anything human , I turned my fury towards inanimate objects .
`` That country and my beloved sister are all I have .
Human labour was wasted human life set at nought .
For a long time I have thought that each post would bring this line , and my persuasions have restrained my uncle from undertaking a journey to Ingolstadt .
It is true , the populace retained themselves ; but there arose a perpetual hum and bustle from the throng round the palace , which added to the noise of fireworks , the frequent explosion of arms , the tramp to and fro of horsemen and carriages , to which effervescence he was the focus , retarded his recovery .
During several hours I continued thus to meditate , till hunger and fatigue brought me back to the passing hour , then marked by long shadows cast from the descending sun .
September th , the ice began to move , and roarings like thunder were heard at a distance as the islands split and cracked in every direction .
In the meantime , Argyropylo , the Greek commander in chief , had advanced , so as to be between the Turks and Rodosto ; a battle , it was said , was inevitable .
Reason came unavailing to such high wrought feelings .
His father was a narrow minded trader and saw idleness and ruin in the aspirations and ambition of his son .
The sun might shine or the clouds might lower , but nothing could appear to me as it had done the day before .
Have those gentle eyes , those `` channels of the soul '' lost their meaning , or do they only in their glare disclose the horrible tale of its aberrations ?
Because I am Protector of England , am I to be the only slave in its empire ?
And what pretty scheme have you woven of exile and obscurity , while a brighter web , a gold enwoven tissue , is that which , in truth , you ought to contemplate ? ''
We past down the steep hill , and entered the dusky avenue of the Long Walk .
And what , Margaret , will be the state of your mind ?
The Alps here come closer to the lake , and we approached the amphitheatre of mountains which forms its eastern boundary .
I was like a wild beast that had broken the toils , destroying the objects that obstructed me and ranging through the wood with a stag like swiftness .
I was possessed by a maddening rage when I thought of him , and desired and ardently prayed that I might have him within my grasp to wreak a great and signal revenge on his cursed head .
Oh , save me Save me '' I imagined that the monster seized me ; I struggled furiously and fell down in a fit .
Her tone expressed her entire indifference ; she addressed me in English , and the voice struck me as one that I had heard during my sufferings .
To me this proceeding appeared if so light a term may be permitted extremely whimsical .
I had begun my journey with anxious haste ; now I desired to draw it out through the course of days and months .
`` And were she , '' said Raymond , `` I would not advise her seeing him .
But these smaller and separate tragedies were about to yield to a mightier interest and , while we were promised calm from infectious influences , a tempest arose wilder than the winds , a tempest bred by the passions of man , nourished by his most violent impulses , unexampled and dire .
Recieve then the grateful farewell of a fleeting shadow who is about to disappear , who joyfully leaves thee , yet with a last look of affectionate thankfulness .
He looked on the structure of society as but a part of the machinery which supported the web on which his life was traced .
Among these there was one which attracted my mother far above all the rest .
Some motive for which he did not account , even to himself , prevented him from relating his adventure to Perdita .
It was a monotonous yet ever changing scene .
Yet this consideration does not , or rather did not in after time , diminish the reproaches of my conscience .
I sank to the ground , and my injurer , with increased swiftness , escaped into the wood .
There was something grand and majestic in her motions , but nothing persuasive , nothing amiable .
I had gazed upon the fortifications and impediments that seemed to keep human beings from entering the citadel of nature , and rashly and ignorantly I had repined .
I was to thrust this selected and matchless friend into the post of danger impossible the die was cast I would offer myself as candidate .
We accordingly determined to commence our journey towards the north at the expiration of another month .
I drank in joy with life ; my steps were light ; my eyes , clear from the love that animated them , sought the heavens , and with my long hair loosened to the winds I gave my body and my mind to sympathy and delight .
I am , however , in good spirits : my men are bold and apparently firm of purpose , nor do the floating sheets of ice that continually pass us , indicating the dangers of the region towards which we are advancing , appear to dismay them .
I shuddered to think who might be the next victim sacrificed to his insatiate revenge .
We came at last to the road that led to the town of and at an inn there we heard that my father had passed by somewhat before sunset ; he had observed the approaching storm and had hired a horse for the next town which was situated a mile from the sea that he might arrive there before it should commence : this town was five miles off .
He was the hero of her imagination , the image carved by love in the unchanged texture of her heart .
We could hardly doubt that , if pursued to the utmost , its palaces , its temples and store of wealth would be destroyed in the fury of contending triumph and defeat .
I found this vision of beauty in Perdita 's alcove , in earnest conversation with its inmate .
I must absent myself from all I loved while thus employed .
We , however , lay to until the morning , fearing to encounter in the dark those large loose masses which float about after the breaking up of the ice .
Insurmountable heaps sometimes opposed themselves ; the still burning fires scorched me .
The children were easily distracted , and again returned to their prospect of future amusement .
And is not love a gift of the divinity ?
Worst of all , his absence now from the festival , his message wholly unaccounted for , except by the disgraceful hints of the woman , appeared the deadliest insult .
Then we were as gay as summer insects , playful as children ; we ever met one another with smiles , and read content and joy in each other 's countenances .
When he heard the sound of my approach , he ceased to utter exclamations of grief and horror and sprung towards the window .
Unless I had been animated by an almost supernatural enthusiasm , my application to this study would have been irksome and almost intolerable .
Willingly do I give place to thee , dear Alfred advance , offspring of tender love , child of our hopes ; advance a soldier on the road to which I have been the pioneer I will make way for thee .
England , seated far north in the turbid sea , now visits my dreams in the semblance of a vast and well manned ship , which mastered the winds and rode proudly over the waves .
Thus has a week passed away , while I have listened to the strangest tale that ever imagination formed .
For the merits of my adaptation and translation must decide how far I have well bestowed my time and imperfect powers , in giving form and substance to the frail and attenuated Leaves of the Sibyl .
This lovely child was nearly eight years of age .
The praise of men , power and high aspirations attended your career .
We had many foreign friends whom we eagerly sought out , and relieved from dreadful penury .
`` Is that all , my dear Henry ?
I only doubted whether or not I should endeavour to see Idris again , before I departed .
I am struck by the storm , rooted up , laid waste : but you can stand against it ; you are young and your passions are at peace .
This change was particularly agreeable to me .
As he walked through the wretched streets in the neighbourhood of the luckless Greek 's abode , his heart smote him for the whole course of his conduct towards her .
Thus did this change come about .
He is desirous to be a true Swiss and to enter into foreign service , but we can not part with him , at least until his elder brother returns to us .
He wished me to seek amusement in society .
Nature was the same , as when she was the kind mother of the human race ; now , childless and forlorn , her fertility was a mockery ; her loveliness a mask for deformity .
I left London in a small vessel bound for a port in the north of England .
Its productions and features may be without example , as the phenomena of the heavenly bodies undoubtedly are in those undiscovered solitudes .
`` Safie related that her mother was a Christian Arab , seized and made a slave by the Turks ; recommended by her beauty , she had won the heart of the father of Safie , who married her .
Thus my father , born in affluence , and always prosperous , clombe without the difficulty and various disappointments that all human beings seem destined to encounter , to the very topmost pinacle of happiness : Around him was sunshine , and clouds whose shapes of beauty made the prospect divine concealed from him the barren reality which lay hidden below them .
The vast annihilation that has swallowed all things the voiceless solitude of the once busy earth the lonely state of singleness which hems me in , has deprived even such details of their stinging reality , and mellowing the lurid tints of past anguish with poetic hues , I am able to escape from the mosaic of circumstance , by perceiving and reflecting back the grouping and combined colouring of the past .
From the moment that he adopted this idea , he was changed .
I felt that I quitted what I loved , not what loved me .
Do you understand this feeling ?
For while I destroyed his hopes , I did not satisfy my own desires .
She leaned from the window looking on the forest , and the turrets of the Castle , and as these became hid by intervening objects , she passionately exclaimed `` Scenes of happiness scenes sacred to devoted love , when shall I see you again and when I see ye , shall I be still the beloved and joyous Perdita , or shall I , heart broken and lost , wander among your groves , the ghost of what I am '' `` Why , silly one , '' cried Raymond , `` what is your little head pondering upon , that of a sudden you have become so sublimely dismal ?
Henry Clerval was the son of a merchant of Geneva .
Before he went I used every argument , every persuasion to induce her to stop his journey .
Still while I was near her , she could not be in utter despair she fully confided herself to me she did not seem to fear my death , or revert to its possibility ; to my guardianship she consigned the full freight of her anxieties , reposing on my love , as a wind nipped fawn by the side of a doe , as a wounded nestling under its mother 's wing , as a tiny , shattered boat , quivering still , beneath some protecting willow tree .
I can not describe to you my sensations on the near prospect of my undertaking .
Many of the foreigners were utterly destitute ; and their increasing numbers at length forbade a recourse to the usual modes of relief .
`` Felix seemed ravished with delight when he saw her , every trait of sorrow vanished from his face , and it instantly expressed a degree of ecstatic joy , of which I could hardly have believed it capable ; his eyes sparkled , as his cheek flushed with pleasure ; and at that moment I thought him as beautiful as the stranger .
I must die , yet my fear chills me ; I pause and shudder and then for months I endure my excess of wretchedness .
First , Whether he will or will not consent to become a great man ?
When , in after times , Adrian 's father , then king of England , felt his situation become more perilous , his line of conduct more embarrassed , again and again he wished for his early friend , who might stand a mound against the impetuous anger of his queen , a mediator between him and the parliament .
In the morning , however , as soon as it was light , I went upon deck and found all the sailors busy on one side of the vessel , apparently talking to someone in the sea .
Attentively perusing this animated volume , I was the less surprised at the tale I read on the new turned page .
And thus the ill starred girl died a victim to my senseless rashness .
Thus long , I have cradled my heart in retrospection of past happiness , when hope was .
What could not this man achieve in the busy English world ?
`` Every man , '' he said , `` dreams about something , love , honour , and pleasure ; you dream of friendship , and devote yourself to a maniac ; well , if that be your vocation , doubtless you are in the right to follow it . ''
Her brow was clear and ample , her blue eyes cloudless , and her lips and the moulding of her face so expressive of sensibility and sweetness that none could behold her without looking on her as of a distinct species , a being heaven sent , and bearing a celestial stamp in all her features .
I shall no longer feel the agonies which now consume me or be the prey of feelings unsatisfied , yet unquenched .
The crop had failed , the bad corn , and want of foreign wines , added vigour to disease .
He came to take leave of me , and we walked together on the heath for the last time .
I might heap high the scale with logic , courage , and resignation but let one fear for Idris and our children enter the opposite one , and , over weighed , it kicked the beam .
I can not see your look of deep grief without endeavouring to restore you to happier feelings .
No , it is not thus ; your form so divinely wrought , and beaming with beauty , has decayed , but your spirit still visits and consoles your unhappy friend .
Sometimes I grew alarmed at the wreck I perceived that I had become ; the energy of my purpose alone sustained me : my labours would soon end , and I believed that exercise and amusement would then drive away incipient disease ; and I promised myself both of these when my creation should be complete .
Let me go , or I will tell my papa . ' `` 'Boy , you will never see your father again ; you must come with me . ' `` 'Hideous monster Let me go .
There was room enough indeed in our hapless country for twice the number of invaders ; but their lawless spirit instigated them to violence ; they took a delight in thrusting the possessors from their houses ; in seizing on some mansion of luxury , where the noble dwellers secluded themselves in fear of the plague ; in forcing these of either sex to become their servants and purveyors ; till , the ruin complete in one place , they removed their locust visitation to another .
Before this I was not unacquainted with the more obvious laws of electricity .
When he died , the tide of love resumed its ancient flow , it deluged her soul with its tumultuous waves , and she gave herself up a prey to its uncontrollable power .
You may remember that a history of all the voyages made for purposes of discovery composed the whole of our good Uncle Thomas ' library .
The impatience of my sister 's disposition now returned on her , awakened by repentance , sharpened by remorse .
Know that , one by one , my friends were snatched away ; I was left desolate .
If the men I have about me shrink from following me , others , more courageous , are to be found .
We had agreed to descend the Rhine in a boat from Strasbourg to Rotterdam , whence we might take shipping for London .
I saw his eyes humid also as he took both my hands in his ; and sitting down near me , he said : `` This is a sad deed to which you would lead me , dearest friend , and your woe must indeed be deep that could fill you with these unhappy thoughts .
Confinement and hardship had undermined his health ; the Turks feared an accomplishment of the threats of the English government , if he died under their hands ; they looked upon his recovery as impossible ; they delivered him up as a dying man , willingly making over to us the rites of burial .
It may appear strange that such should arise in the eighteenth century ; but while I followed the routine of education in the schools of Geneva , I was , to a great degree , self taught with regard to my favourite studies .
I now began to be human .
Something whispers to me not to depend too much on the prospect that is opened before us , but I will not listen to such a sinister voice .
We left none to represent us , none to repeople the desart land , and the name of England died , when we left her , In vagabond pursuit of dreadful safety .
Then without further remark , she threw herself on her couch , and closing her eyes remained motionless ; so that but for the deep sighs that burst from her , it would have seemed that she slept .
The conversation then reverted to Asiatic intelligence , and the ravages the plague made in its chief cities ; conjectures were hazarded as to the progress that disease might have made in the besieged city .
I trod air ; no doubt , no fear , no hope even , disturbed me ; I clasped with my soul the fulness of contentment , satisfied , undesiring , beatified .
By slow degrees he recovered and ate a little soup , which restored him wonderfully .
She lay down among the tall corn , and fell asleep .
Strange , that while the earth preserved her monotonous course , I dwelt with ever renewing wonder on her antique laws , and now that with excentric wheel she rushed into an untried path , I should feel this spirit fade ; I struggled with despondency and weariness , but like a fog , they choked me .
`` You , who call Frankenstein your friend , seem to have a knowledge of my crimes and his misfortunes .
The wretched female , loveless victim of vulgar brutality , had wandered to the toilet of high born beauty , and , arraying herself in the garb of splendour , had died before the mirror which reflected to herself alone her altered appearance .
Let him spend another sixteen years of desolate wandering : let him once more utter his wild complaints to the vast woods and the tremendous cataracts of another clime : let him again undergo fearful danger and soul quelling hardships : let the hot sun of the south again burn his passion worn cheeks and the cold night rains fall on him and chill his blood .
But it is a still greater evil to me that I am self educated : for the first fourteen years of my life I ran wild on a common and read nothing but our Uncle Thomas ' books of voyages .
She enumerated their years of happiness ; she brought before him past scenes of intimacy and happiness ; she pictured their future life , she mentioned their child tears unbidden now filled her eyes .
Her health , and even the tranquillity of her hitherto constant spirit , had been shaken by what she had gone through .
As night approached I found myself at the entrance of the cemetery where William , Elizabeth , and my father reposed .
Every man for himself the devil take the protectorship , say I , if it expose me to danger '' `` Faint hearted man '' cried Adrian indignantly `` Your countrymen put their trust in you , and you betray them '' `` I betray them '' said Ryland , `` the plague betrays me .
`` You speak of an almost forgotten dream , '' said Adrian , his countenance slightly clouding as he spoke ; `` the visions of my boyhood have long since faded in the light of reality ; I know now that I am not a man fitted to govern nations ; sufficient for me , if I keep in wholesome rule the little kingdom of my own mortality .
I am weak , but surely the spirits who assist my vengeance will endow me with sufficient strength . ''
But where was Perdita ?
In solitude only shall I be myself ; in solitude I shall be thine .
In our road to the palace , we passed through the Greek cemetery ; here on a tablet of black marble I caused him to be laid ; the cypresses waved high above , their death like gloom accorded with his state of nothingness .
Trembling , I was unable to continue to look through the glass with which I had watched the motion of the crew , when the frigate 's boat had first been launched .
But although the appearance of an infected town was avoided , to me , who had not beheld it since the commencement of the visitation , London appeared sufficiently changed .
I invited him to walk with me , and led him to a neighbouring wood of beech trees whose light shade shielded us from the slant and dazzling beams of the descending sun After walking for some time in silence I seated my self with him on a mossy hillock It is strange but even now I seem to see the spot the slim and smooth trunks were many of them wound round by ivy whose shining leaves of the darkest green contrasted with the white bark and the light leaves of the young sprouts of beech that grew from their parent trunks the short grass was mingled with moss and was partly covered by the dead leaves of the last autumn that driven by the winds had here and there collected in little hillocks there were a few moss grown stumps about The leaves were gently moved by the breeze and through their green canopy you could see the bright blue sky As evening came on the distant trunks were reddened by the sun and the wind died entirely away while a few birds flew past us to their evening rest .
I was on one of the highest seats , and saw him walk up the passage to the table of the speaker .
`` Oh , do not listen to him , '' I cried , `` he speaks false false to himself , '' I was interrupted : and , silence being restored , we were ordered , as was the custom , to retire during the decision of the house .
She had been proud of having won and preserved him but another had won him from her , and her exultation was as cold as a water quenched ember .
Listen to me , and let yourself be softened by words in which no selfish passion lingers .
They counted the garrison ; it was impossible that it should be relieved ; each sally was a victory ; for , even when the Turks were triumphant , the loss of men they sustained was an irreparable injury .
I could not refuse ; for Clara was not an ordinary child ; her sensibility and intelligence seemed already to have endowed her with the rights of womanhood .
In a few words I must conclude this tragedy .
But they were the property of Adrian , the nurslings of Idris ; and so , although my imagination rendered sensual by privation , made me think that they would better become the spit in my kitchen , than the green leaves of the forest , Nathelesse , I checked my haughty will , and did not eat ; but supped upon sentiment , and dreamt vainly of `` such morsels sweet , '' as I might not waking attain .
`` It was noon when I awoke , and allured by the warmth of the sun , which shone brightly on the white ground , I determined to recommence my travels ; and , depositing the remains of the peasant 's breakfast in a wallet I found , I proceeded across the fields for several hours , until at sunset I arrived at a village .
Doubtless you have both heard the current tale ; perhaps believe the slander ; but he is not mad Were an angel from the foot of God 's throne to assert it , never , never would I believe it .
In fact , now that the idea of contest was dismissed , all hearts returned to their former respect and admiration of our accomplished friend .
Once on a frosty day , pushed on by restless unsatisfying reflections , I sought a favourite haunt , a little wood not far distant from Salt Hill .
This feeling of universal misery assumed concentration and shape , when I looked on my wife and children ; and the thought of danger to them possessed my whole being with fear .
And where does he now exist ?
I put her in one of these , and entered with her that I might secure her entrance into the hospital .
I had entered into the universal feeling I had been absorbed by the terrors of Rosse I re echoed the cry of Macduff , and then rushed out as from an hell of torture , to find calm in the free air and silent street .
This his selected task was exchanged for the far different one of encountering the ruin caused by the convulsions of physical nature .
There were no degrees which could break my fall from happiness to misery ; it was as the stroke of lightning sudden and entire .
On this occasion I chanced to say that I thought Myrrha the best of Alfieri 's tragedies ; as I said this I chanced to cast my eyes on my father and met his : for the first time the expression of those beloved eyes displeased me , and I saw with affright that his whole frame shook with some concealed emotion that in spite of his efforts half conquered him : as this tempest faded from his soul he became melancholy and silent .
If pride guided you , or even reason , you might well reject me .
Time is no more , for I have stepped within the threshold of eternity ; each man I meet appears a corse , which will soon be deserted of its animating spark , on the eve of decay and corruption .
The Turks resisted to the last , the garrison perished on the ramparts , and we entered by assault .
Above all , he was remorseless and unyielding in the pursuit of any object of desire , however lawless .
In the mean time we were joined by Clara , whose pallid cheek and scared look shewed the deep impression grief had made on her young mind .
I would obtain the truth from her the following day in the mean time But , while I was occupied by multiplying reflections , Lord Raymond returned .
And yet I am happy ; mothers lament their children , wives lose their husbands , while you and my children are left to me .
He has already had one or two little WIVES , but Louisa Biron is his favourite , a pretty little girl of five years of age .
I applied my glass , and could discern that the frigate had already cast anchor , fearful of the danger of approaching nearer to a lee shore : a boat was lowered ; with a pang I saw that Raymond was unable to descend the vessel 's side ; he was let down in a chair , and lay wrapt in cloaks at the bottom of the boat .
I had certainly acted imprudently .
I stay here ; force only can remove me .
When I was otherwise quite restored to health , the sight of a chemical instrument would renew all the agony of my nervous symptoms .
To England and to Englishmen I dedicate myself .
The apartments were restored to their pristine splendour , and the park , all disrepairs restored , was guarded with unusual care .
But though impenetrably veiled from him , his public office permitted her to become acquainted with all his actions , his daily course of life , even his conversation .
It was the sight of Little Marlow , and my conversations with Martha , that led me to the plan I formed .
Who shall conceive the horrors of my secret toil as I dabbled among the unhallowed damps of the grave or tortured the living animal to animate the lifeless clay ?
She rushed towards him , she embraced him , blessing God for his preservation .
While I was directing that the necessary care should be taken of her , Clara came in ; she was trembling and pale ; and , when I anxiously asked her the cause of her agitation , she threw herself into my arms weeping and exclaiming `` Uncle , dearest uncle , do not hate me for ever I must tell you , for you must know , that Evelyn , poor little Evelyn '' her voice was choked by sobs .
Do you remember in her infancy , with what transport you beheld Clara , recognizing in her the united being of yourself and Raymond ; joying to view in this living temple a manifestation of your eternal loves .
She perceived me , and looked up enquiringly ; her half glance of hope was misery ; the words died before I could articulate them ; I felt a ghastly smile wrinkle my lips .
Adrian welcomed us on our arrival .
With angry gestures he leapt from his horse , and seizing a hatchet that hung from his saddle bow , went with the apparent intention of battering down the opposing gate .
Lay down your arms , barbarous and cruel men men whose hands are stained with the blood of the innocent , whose souls are weighed down by the orphan 's cry We shall conquer , for the right is on our side ; already your cheeks are pale the weapons fall from your nerveless grasp .
He rode through the lines , charging the officers to restrain the troops , exhorting the soldiers , restoring order , and quieting in some degree the violent agitation that swelled every bosom .
But now the time is come when I may quit life , I have a friend who will not refuse to accompany me in this dark journey ; such is my request : earnestly do I entreat and implore you to die with me .
She devoted herself to those whom she had been taught to call her uncle and cousins .
If the band played , involuntarily they chose airs of moderated passion ; the farewell of love , or lament at absence , was followed and closed by some solemn hymn , which harmonized with the tranquil loveliness of evening , and elevated the soul to grand and religious thought .
Grey headed men , ye hoped for yet a few years in your long known abode but the lease is up , you must remove children , ye will never reach maturity , even now the small grave is dug for ye mothers , clasp them in your arms , one death embraces you '' Shuddering , he stretched out his hands , his eyes cast up , seemed bursting from their sockets , while he appeared to follow shapes , to us invisible , in the yielding air `` There they are , '' he cried , `` the dead They rise in their shrouds , and pass in silent procession towards the far land of their doom their bloodless lips move not their shadowy limbs are void of motion , while still they glide onwards .
Again , with a gush of pride and delight , she marked in the features of her little girl , the same smile of beauty that often irradiated Raymond 's countenance .
I know not ; despair had not yet taken possession of me ; my feelings were those of rage and revenge .
I am but half a soldier ; I love the renown , but not the trade of war .
After the lapse of a few weeks , we left Dunkeld .
Having conquered the violence of his feelings , he appeared to despise himself for being the slave of passion ; and quelling the dark tyranny of despair , he led me again to converse concerning myself personally .
Ryland was the popular candidate ; when Lord Raymond was first added to the list , his chance of success appeared small .
`` They built a wall between them and the world '' Without , a thousand harpies raved , remorse and misery , expecting the destined moment for their invasion .
`` This suspense is a thousand times worse than the most horrible event ; tell me what new scene of death has been acted , and whose murder I am now to lament ? '' `` Your family is perfectly well , '' said Mr. Kirwin with gentleness ; `` and someone , a friend , is come to visit you . ''
He personated his assumption of innocence even to self deception .
I attempted to speak , but the words died away on my lips .
Why do you not execrate the rustic who sought to destroy the saviour of his child ?
Sleep was not sleep , for her waking thoughts , bridled by some remains of reason , and by the sight of her children happy and in health , were then transformed to wild dreams , all her terrors were realized , all her fears received their dread fulfilment .
He looked on the peasant , who began to tremble , while he still gazed ; his knees knocked together ; his teeth chattered .
I continued walking in this manner for some time , endeavouring by bodily exercise to ease the load that weighed upon my mind .
Why , all his virtues are derived from his station only ; because he is rich , he is called generous ; because he is powerful , brave ; because he is well served , he is affable .
Yet I dreaded to witness the anguish which my resolve might excite in Idris .
Had my eyes deceived me ?
I was troubled ; a mist came over my eyes , and I felt a faintness seize me , but I was quickly restored by the cold gale of the mountains .
Like Adam , I was apparently united by no link to any other being in existence ; but his state was far different from mine in every other respect .
At these moments I often endeavoured to put an end to the existence I loathed , and it required unceasing attendance and vigilance to restrain me from committing some dreadful act of violence .
After so much time spent in painful labour , to arrive at once at the summit of my desires was the most gratifying consummation of my toils .
The Greeks wept for joy when they beheld the Mediterranean from the hills of Asia , and hailed with rapture the boundary of their toils .
`` You have travelled ; you have spent several years of your life at Ingolstadt ; and I confess to you , my friend , that when I saw you last autumn so unhappy , flying to solitude from the society of every creature , I could not help supposing that you might regret our connection and believe yourself bound in honour to fulfil the wishes of your parents , although they opposed themselves to your inclinations .
She took me under her protection because she considered it her duty ; but she had too long lived alone and undisturbed by the noise and prattle of children to allow that I should disturb her quiet .
The immediate peril urged them to seize the immediate opportunity ; wildly and passionately they sought to know what delights existence afforded , before they yielded to death , and Snatching their pleasures with rough strife Thorough the iron gates of life , they defied the conquering pestilence to destroy what had been , or to erase even from their death bed thoughts the sentiment of happiness which had been theirs .
My hand was already on the lock of the door before I recollected myself .
He endeavours to fill me with hope and talks as if life were a possession which he valued .
`` Be happy , my dear Victor , '' replied Elizabeth ; `` there is , I hope , nothing to distress you ; and be assured that if a lively joy is not painted in my face , my heart is contented .
He seemed to cherish a mild grief and softer emotions although sad as a relief from despair He contrived in many ways to nurse his melancholy as an antidote to wilder passion .
The attachment between them led to the ill fated marriage , of which I was the offspring .
What a sea is the tide of passion , whose fountains are in our own nature Our virtues are the quick sands , which shew themselves at calm and low water ; but let the waves arise and the winds buffet them , and the poor devil whose hope was in their durability , finds them sink from under him .
And you , my friend , would be far more amused with the journal of Clerval , who observed the scenery with an eye of feeling and delight , than in listening to my reflections .
Why do you not hate Felix , who drove his friend from his door with contumely ?
Grecian maidens will in devotion strew flowers on his tomb , and make the air around it resonant with patriotic hymns , in which his name will find high record . ''
He did not say that he should favour such an attempt ; but he did say that such an attempt would be venial ; and , if the aspirant did not go so far as to declare war , and erect a standard in the kingdom , his fault ought to be regarded with an indulgent eye .
It impressed me deeply .
The Turk , amazed and delighted , endeavoured to kindle the zeal of his deliverer by promises of reward and wealth .
I remembered also the necessity imposed upon me of either journeying to England or entering into a long correspondence with those philosophers of that country whose knowledge and discoveries were of indispensable use to me in my present undertaking .
From the moment of my mother 's death untill his departure she never heard him utter a single word : buried in the deepest melancholy he took no notice of any one ; often for hours his eyes streamed tears or a more fearful gloom overpowered him .
I believe that without the slightest tinge of a bad heart she had the coldest that ever filled a human breast : it was totally incapable of any affection .
But she has confessed . ''
Our vessels truly were the sport of winds and waves , even as Gulliver was the toy of the Brobdignagians ; but we on our stable abode could not be hurt in life or limb by these eruptions of nature .
I have lost you , myself , my life '' `` Do you not believe me ? '' said Raymond haughtily .
I intend to be a warrior , a conqueror ; Napoleon 's name shall vail to mine ; and enthusiasts , instead of visiting his rocky grave , and exalting the merits of the fallen , shall adore my majesty , and magnify my illustrious achievements . ''
She entered the cottages of the sick ; she relieved their wants with her own hand ; she betrayed no fear , and inspired all who saw her with some portion of her own native courage .
A diplomatist : one among the pleasure seeking society of a gay city ; a youth of promise ; favourite of the Ambassador .
The market place is empty , the candidate for popular favour finds none whom he can represent .
Meanwhile all went on well in London .
It terminated like the former ; though something approaching to a ray , we could not tell whence , shed a very doubtful twilight in the space .
He secluded himself as much as the duties of his station permitted .
Idris hardly recognized the fragile being , whose form had seemed to bend even to the summer breeze , in the energetic man , whose very excess of sensibility rendered him more capable of fulfilling his station of pilot in storm tossed England .
Raymond replied ; but there was nothing conciliatory in his reply .
This spot had for me peculiar charms .
At first he refused to stay to hear her .
The love that is the soul of friendship is a soft spirit seldom found except when two amiable creatures are knit from early youth , or when bound by mutual suffering and pursuits ; it comes to some of the elect unsought and unaware ; it descends as gentle dew on chosen spots which however barren they were before become under its benign influence fertile in all sweet plants ; but when desired it flies ; it scoffs at the prayers of its votaries ; it will bestow , but not be sought .
`` And now I do not fear death .
Thus years passed on ; and years only added fresh love of freedom , and contempt for all that was not as wild and rude as myself .
The nearness of this place to London was such , as to take away the idea of painful separation , when we quitted Raymond and Perdita .
During the colder months there was a general rush to London in search of amusement the ties of public opinion were loosened ; many were rich , heretofore poor many had lost father and mother , the guardians of their morals , their mentors and restraints .
My uncle will send me news of your health , and if I see but one smile on your lips when we meet , occasioned by this or any other exertion of mine , I shall need no other happiness .
Merrival did not join in this conversation ; drawing near Idris , he proceeded to assure her that the joyful prospect of an earthly paradise after an hundred thousand years , was clouded to him by the knowledge that in a certain period of time after , an earthly hell or purgatory , would occur , when the ecliptic and equator would be at right angles .
It was one of those lovely winter days which assert the capacity of nature to bestow beauty on barrenness .
Unable to endure the aspect of the being I had created , I rushed out of the room and continued a long time traversing my bed chamber , unable to compose my mind to sleep .
It is true that the necessaries of life were assembled in such quantities , as to supply to superfluity the wants of the diminished population ; but still much labour was required to arrange these , as it were , raw materials ; and depressed by sickness , and fearful of the future , we had not energy to enter boldly and decidedly on any system .
Sometimes she remembered that she had suffered keen anguish , when he hesitated in his choice .
`` Questo poi , no , '' said the wild looking savage , who held the torch ; `` you can advance but a short distance , and nobody visits it . ''
No no me miserable ; for love extinct there is no resurrection `` Yet I love you .
I have read of mourners in ancient days , who clothed themselves in sackcloth , scattered dust upon their heads , ate their bread mingled with ashes , and took up their abode on the bleak mountain tops , reproaching heaven and earth aloud with their misfortunes .
The fear of immediate death vanished with the heats of September .
But my plan was unsettled , and I wandered many hours round the confines of the town , uncertain what path I should pursue .
But to return to dearer considerations .
The picture then presented itself to her in such glowing colours , that she feared the reverse , and a life of magnificence and power in London ; where Raymond would no longer be hers only , nor she the sole source of happiness to him .
But we have been placed here and bid live and hope .
The next morning while sitting on the steps of the temple of Aesculapius in the Borghese gardens Fantasia again visited me smilingly beckoned to me to follow her My flight was at first heavy but the breezes commanded by the spirit to convoy me grew stronger as I advanced a pleasing languour seized my senses when I recovered I found my self by the Elysian fountain near Diotima The beautiful female whom I had left on the point of narrating her earthly history seemed to have waited for my return and as soon as I appeared she spoke thus I VISITED Naples in the year .
The four others were dark eyed , hardy little vagrants ; this child was thin and very fair .
I was like the Arabian who had been buried with the dead and found a passage to life , aided only by one glimmering and seemingly ineffectual light .
A shepherd boy that tends a silly flock on the mountains , was more in the scale of society than I. Congratulate me then that I have found fitting scope for my powers .
Heaven bless you and make you so My unfortunate guest regards me with the tenderest compassion .
Her father was moved by her violent grief ; he took her in his arms and soothed her , but his very soothings were solemn and fearful .
The astonishment which I had at first experienced on this discovery soon gave place to delight and rapture .
Will my readers ask how I could find solace from the narration of misery and woeful change ?
I drank of an enchanted cup but gall was at the bottom of its long drawn sweetness .
`` When I look upon you , the tears you shed , the soft deprecating look with which you withstand enquiry ; the deep sympathy your voice expresses when I speak of my lesser sorrows add to my interest for you .
I acted then , as I ever must , from impulse .
What I ask of you is reasonable and moderate ; I demand a creature of another sex , but as hideous as myself ; the gratification is small , but it is all that I can receive , and it shall content me .
Consider the panic your departure will occasion .
My dear Lionel , we are married men , and find employment sufficient in amusing our wives , and dancing our children .
Now each life was a gem , each human breathing form of far , O far more worth than subtlest imagery of sculptured stone ; and the daily , nay , hourly decrease visible in our numbers , visited the heart with sickening misery .
Turn from me , if you will , if you can .
Why not still proceed over the untamed yet obedient element ?
It was not like a human loveliness that these gentle smiles went and came ; but as a sunbeam on a lake , now light and now obscure , flitting before as you strove to catch them , and fold them for ever to your heart .
`` Shall each man , '' cried he , `` find a wife for his bosom , and each beast have his mate , and I be alone ?
These are the reflections of the first days ; but when the lapse of time proves the reality of the evil , then the actual bitterness of grief commences .
It was late in autumn when I quitted the district where I had so long resided .
The dazzling light of ornamented rooms ; lovely forms arrayed in splendid dresses ; the motions of a dance , the voluptuous tones of exquisite music , cradled my senses in one delightful dream .
Man existed by twos and threes ; man , the individual who might sleep , and wake , and perform the animal functions ; but man , in himself weak , yet more powerful in congregated numbers than wind or ocean ; man , the queller of the elements , the lord of created nature , the peer of demi gods , existed no longer .
I have defended it with my sword , and was willing that my spirit should be breathed out in its defence ; freedom is of more worth than life , and the Greeks do well to defend their privilege unto death .
`` The child still struggled and loaded me with epithets which carried despair to my heart ; I grasped his throat to silence him , and in a moment he lay dead at my feet .
I hovered for ever around the walls of its Castle , beneath its enshadowing thickets ; my sole companions were my books and my loving thoughts .
Yes , I am happy , most happy , that I can weep thus for imaginary sorrows , and that the slight loss of my adored country is not dwindled and annihilated in mightier misery .
She shewed them how the well being of each included the prosperity of all .
We stood at the door looking on this strange scene , till the dog perceiving us barked loudly ; the child turned and saw us : her face .
My frame is strong , but my soul sinks beneath this endurance of living anguish .
The memory of that unfortunate king and his companions , the amiable Falkland , the insolent Goring , his queen , and son , gave a peculiar interest to every part of the city which they might be supposed to have inhabited .
`` That is my least concern ; I am , by a course of strange events , become the most miserable of mortals .
Many a casque , and bayonet , and sword , fallen from unnerved arms , reflected the departing ray ; they lay scattered far and near .
Others perceived only a passing casualty ; they endeavoured to exchange terror for heedlessness , and plunged into licentiousness , to avoid the agonizing throes of worst apprehension .
And poor Clerval `` The name of my unfortunate and murdered friend was an agitation too great to be endured in my weak state ; I shed tears .
My revenge is of no moment to you ; yet , while I allow it to be a vice , I confess that it is the devouring and only passion of my soul .
Make me happy , and I shall again be virtuous . ''
That fable is unjust , which gives the superiority to the sun over the wind .
I remembered too well the treatment I had suffered the night before from the barbarous villagers , and resolved , whatever course of conduct I might hereafter think it right to pursue , that for the present I would remain quietly in my hovel , watching and endeavouring to discover the motives which influenced their actions .
These perplexities and regrets caused her to bathe her pillow with nightly tears , and to reduce her in person and in mind to the shadow of what she had been .
Palaces were deserted , and the poor man dared at length , unreproved , intrude into the splendid apartments , whose very furniture and decorations were an unknown world to him .
Were those the fertile fields I loved was that the interchange of gentle upland and cultivated dale , once covered with waving corn , diversified by stately trees , watered by the meandering Thames ?
But her wish was of course to be complied with ; and I entreated her to prepare without delay for our departure .
And then again she became aware of her own excellencies , and began to balance with juster scales the shades of good and evil .
Her ugly sister , Manon , married M. Duvillard , the rich banker , last autumn .
Greece prepared for a vigorous resistance ; it rose to a man ; and the women , sacrificing their costly ornaments , accoutred their sons for the war , and bade them conquer or die with the spirit of the Spartan mother .
`` Why , Lionel , '' said Adrian , `` what did you intend ?
Tidings of an armed and regular opposition recalled them to a sort of order .
Persia , with its cloth of gold , marble halls , and infinite wealth , is now a tomb .
She was pale and fair , and her golden hair clustered on her temples , contrasting its rich hue with the living marble beneath .
She was tranquil , yet her tranquillity was evidently constrained ; and as her confusion had before been adduced as a proof of her guilt , she worked up her mind to an appearance of courage .
For a long time I could not conceive how one man could go forth to murder his fellow , or even why there were laws and governments ; but when I heard details of vice and bloodshed , my wonder ceased and I turned away with disgust and loathing .
France , Germany , Italy and Spain , were interposed , walls yet without a breach , between us and the plague .
Could the demon who had I did not for a minute doubt murdered my brother also in his hellish sport have betrayed the innocent to death and ignominy ?
The cleanliness , habits of order , and the manner in which our cities were built , were all in our favour .
My flagging spirits asked for something to speak to the affections ; and not finding it , I drooped .
I rushed to her defence , but rage made them blind and deaf ; they did not distinguish my Christian garb or heed my words words were blunt weapons then , for while war cried `` havoc , '' and murder gave fit echo , how could I Turn back the tide of ills , relieving wrong With mild accost of soothing eloquence ?
Truly it was a fairy 's supper ; for though the air was perfumed by the scent of fruits and wine , we none of us either ate or drank even the beauty of the night was unobserved ; their extasy could not be increased by outward objects , and I was wrapt in reverie .
Through my father 's exertions a part of the inheritance of Elizabeth had been restored to her by the Austrian government .
I listened to Raymond with intense interest .
Oh , Frankenstein , be not equitable to every other and trample upon me alone , to whom thy justice , and even thy clemency and affection , is most due .
Are you , then , so easily turned from your design ?
The name of the Earl startled me , and caused all the indignant blood that warmed my heart to rush into my cheeks ; I had never seen him before ; I figured to myself a haughty , assuming youth , who would take me to task , if he deigned to speak to me , with all the arrogance of superiority .
The abrupt sides of vast mountains were before me ; the icy wall of the glacier overhung me ; a few shattered pines were scattered around ; and the solemn silence of this glorious presence chamber of imperial nature was broken only by the brawling waves or the fall of some vast fragment , the thunder sound of the avalanche or the cracking , reverberated along the mountains , of the accumulated ice , which , through the silent working of immutable laws , was ever and anon rent and torn , as if it had been but a plaything in their hands .
But we will not die in heaps , like dogs poisoned in summer time , by the pestilential air of that city we dare not go against the Plague '' A multitude of men are feeble and inert , without a voice , a leader ; give them that , and they regain the strength belonging to their numbers .
Strange to say , this feeling was infectious .
I dare say he will be glad to see you . ''
And then I repeated to myself all that lovely passage that relates the entrance of Dante into the terrestrial Paradise ; and thought it would be sweet when I wandered on those lovely banks to see the car of light descend with my long lost parent to be restored to me .
That same night after Adrian 's departure , her mother had warmly expostulated with her on the subject of her attachment to me .
But I had suffered him to depart , and he had directed his course towards the mainland .
A part of its orb was at length hid , and I waved my brand ; it sank , and with a loud scream I fired the straw , and heath , and bushes , which I had collected .
Why is it that I feel no horror ?
With us remained sorrow , anxiety , and unendurable expectation of evil .
It is well when flies only are caught by such spiders ' webs ; but is it for the high born and powerful to bow their necks to the flimsy yoke of these unmeaning pretensions ?
I have no ambition to lose my life on the post road between St. Petersburgh and Archangel .
And , as accident permitted , I complied with or refused her request .
The Greeks were strongly attached to their commercial pursuits , and would have been satisfied with their present acquisitions , had not the Turks roused them by invasion .
Absence from the busy stage had caused him to be forgotten by the people ; his former parliamentary supporters were principally composed of royalists , who had been willing to make an idol of him when he appeared as the heir of the Earldom of Windsor ; but who were indifferent to him , when he came forward with no other attributes and distinctions than they conceived to be common to many among themselves .
I rushed into my sister 's cabin ; it was empty .
The latter had felt secure of victory , until the appearance of Raymond ; and , since his name had been inserted as a candidate , he had canvassed with eagerness .
This was a glorious winter .
The events that in succession followed his return to England , gave me keener feelings .
We took no more sweet counsel together ; and when I tried to win him again to me , his anger , and the terrible emotions that he exhibited drove me to silence and tears .
From the east , a band of ravens , old inhabitants of the Turkish cemeteries , came sailing along towards their harvest ; the sun disappeared .
A middle aged man , with some intelligence of manner , but with so common place a physiognomy , that Raymond could scarcely believe that he was the designer .
The vegetables in the gardens , the milk and cheese that I saw placed at the windows of some of the cottages , allured my appetite .
Her garb was rustic , and her cheek pale ; but there was an air of dignity and beauty , that hardly permitted the sentiment of pity .
They are dead , and but one feeling in such a solitude can persuade me to preserve my life .
I saw plainly that he was surprised , but he never attempted to draw my secret from me ; and although I loved him with a mixture of affection and reverence that knew no bounds , yet I could never persuade myself to confide in him that event which was so often present to my recollection , but which I feared the detail to another would only impress more deeply .
She had rejected these advances ; and the time for such exuberant submission , which must be founded on love and nourished by it , was now passed .
Thus , while the wise , the good , and the prudent were occupied by the labours of benevolence , the truce of winter produced other effects among the young , the thoughtless , and the vicious .
Indeed I was too weary to walk further : the air was chill but I was careless of bodily inconvenience , and I thought that I was well inured to the weather during my two years of solitude , when no change of seasons prevented my perpetual wanderings .
He had seen it , and praised it ; it was again retouched by her , each stroke of her pencil was as a chord of thrilling music , and bore to her the idea of a temple raised to celebrate the deepest and most unutterable emotions of her soul .
`` What a noble fellow '' you will exclaim .
By degrees Evadne related to her friend the whole of her story , the stain her name had received in Greece , the weight of sin which had accrued to her from the death of her husband .
At first an unusual quantity of specie made its appearance with the emigrants ; but these people had no means of receiving back into their hands what they spent among us .
I could only think of the bourne of my travels and the work which was to occupy me whilst they endured .
Would you also create for yourself and the world a demoniacal enemy ?
I was rough as the elements , and unlearned as the animals I tended .
Sometimes , with my sails set , I was carried by the wind ; and sometimes , after rowing into the middle of the lake , I left the boat to pursue its own course and gave way to my own miserable reflections .
While the brother and sister were still hesitating in what manner they could best attempt to bring their mother over to their party , she , suspecting our meetings , taxed her children with them ; taxed her fair daughter with deceit , and an unbecoming attachment for one whose only merit was being the son of the profligate favourite of her imprudent father ; and who was doubtless as worthless as he from whom he boasted his descent .
Much of this tale she concealed from Raymond ; nor did she confess , that repulse and denial , as to a criminal convicted of the worst of crimes , that of bringing the scythe of foreign despotism to cut away the new springing liberties of her country , would have followed her application to any among the Greeks .
After one or two trivial remarks , to which I sullenly replied , he suddenly cried , looking at the bust , `` I am called like that victor Not a bad idea ; the head will serve for my new coinage , and be an omen to all dutiful subjects of my future success . ''
The solution that seemed to me the most probable was that during his residence in London he had fallen in love with some unworthy person , and that his passion mastered him although he would not gratify it : he loved me too well to sacrifise me to this inclination , and that he had now visited this house that by reviving the memory of my mother whom he so passionately adored he might weaken the present impression .
Is not love a divinity , because it is immortal ?
I might be driven into the wide Atlantic and feel all the tortures of starvation or be swallowed up in the immeasurable waters that roared and buffeted around me .
When I returned to Perdita , I found that she had already been informed of the success of my undertaking .
In vain our Protector and his partizans sought to conceal this truth ; in vain , day after day , he appointed a period for the discussion of the new laws concerning hereditary rank and privilege ; in vain he endeavoured to represent the evil as partial and temporary .
Several hundreds landed in Ireland , about the first of November , and took possession of such vacant habitations as they could find ; seizing upon the superabundant food , and the stray cattle .
A light railing surrounded the garden of the cottage , which , low roofed , seemed to submit to the majesty of nature , and cower amidst the venerable remains of forgotten time .
England was still secure .
Cheers and loud acclamations followed the close of his speech .
A number of buildings and trees intervened , when I had reached the plain , hiding the city from my view .
`` For heaven 's love Windsor , '' cried Ryland , `` do not mock me with that title .
One voice made of many voices , resounded through the chamber ; it syllabled the name of Raymond .
Miserable , unhappy wretch `` Other lessons were impressed upon me even more deeply .
I quickly collected some branches , but they were wet and would not burn .
In such a school my disposition became rugged , but firm .
Company was irksome to me ; when alone , I could fill my mind with the sights of heaven and earth ; the voice of Henry soothed me , and I could thus cheat myself into a transitory peace .
If I no longer saw the fresh glow of youth on his matured countenance , if care had besieged his brow , `` And dug deep trenches in his beauty 's field , '' if his hair , slightly mingled with grey , and his look , considerate even in its eagerness , gave signs of added years and past sufferings , yet there was something irresistibly affecting in the sight of one , lately snatched from the grave , renewing his career , untamed by sickness or disaster .
The rumour went that Adrian had become how write the fatal word mad : that Lord Raymond was the favourite of the ex queen , her daughter 's destined husband .
After passing several hours , we returned hopeless , most of my companions believing it to have been a form conjured up by my fancy .
Yet even that enemy of God and man had friends and associates in his desolation ; I am alone .
Blasted as thou wert , my agony was still superior to thine , for the bitter sting of remorse will not cease to rankle in my wounds until death shall close them forever .
One other incident occurred at the end of this summer .
I , driven half mad , as I met party after party of the country people , in their holiday best , descending the hills , escaped to their cloud veiled summits , and looking on the sterile rocks about me , exclaimed `` They do not cry , long live the Earl '' Nor , when night came , accompanied by drizzling rain and cold , would I return home ; for I knew that each cottage rang with the praises of Adrian ; as I felt my limbs grow numb and chill , my pain served as food for my insane aversion ; nay , I almost triumphed in it , since it seemed to afford me reason and excuse for my hatred of my unheeding adversary .
I had besides many books and a harp with which when despairing I could soothe my spirits , and raise myself to sympathy and love .
Why dost thou howl thus , O wind ?
Tell me , can I do nothing ?
Wolves and lions , and various monsters of the desert roared against him ; while the grim Unreality hovered shaking his spectral dart , a solitary but invincible assailant .
A low moan close to her ear followed , and the rustling increased ; she heard a smothered voice breathe out , Water , Water several times ; and then again a sigh heaved from the heart of the sufferer .
M. Krempe had now commenced an eulogy on himself , which happily turned the conversation from a subject that was so annoying to me .
I looked on the valley beneath ; vast mists were rising from the rivers which ran through it and curling in thick wreaths around the opposite mountains , whose summits were hid in the uniform clouds , while rain poured from the dark sky and added to the melancholy impression I received from the objects around me . Alas Why does man boast of sensibilities superior to those apparent in the brute ; it only renders them more necessary beings .
The silly moon and inconstant planets vary nightly their erratic dance ; the sun itself , sovereign of the sky , ever and anon deserts his throne , and leaves his dominion to night and winter .
Fifteen months after their marriage I was born , and my mother died a few days after my birth .
The scenery of external nature , which others regard only with admiration , he loved with ardour : The sounding cataract Haunted him like a passion : the tall rock , The mountain , and the deep and gloomy wood , Their colours and their forms , were then to him An appetite ; a feeling , and a love , That had no need of a remoter charm , By thought supplied , or any interest Unborrow 'd from the eye .
For some time I sat upon the rock that overlooks the sea of ice .
I found Merrival , the astronomer , with her .
Soon her door opened softly , and on her springing up , she heard a whisper , `` Not asleep yet , '' and the door again closed .
The Irish followed their track in disorganized multitudes ; each day encreasing ; each day becoming more lawless .
I journied all day ; every moment my misery encreased and the fever of my blood became intolerable .
No incidents have hitherto befallen us that would make a figure in a letter .
The young woman arranged the cottage and prepared the food , and the youth departed after the first meal .
This was certainly the Sibyl 's Cave ; not indeed exactly as Virgil describes it , but the whole of this land had been so convulsed by earthquake and volcano , that the change was not wonderful , though the traces of ruin were effaced by time ; and we probably owed the preservation of these leaves , to the accident which had closed the mouth of the cavern , and the swift growing vegetation which had rendered its sole opening impervious to the storm .
Oh , my beloved father Indeed you made me miserable beyond all words , but how truly did I even then forgive you , and how entirely did you possess my whole heart while I endeavoured , as a rainbow gleams upon a cataract , D to soften thy tremendous sorrows .
As night advanced I placed a variety of combustibles around the cottage , and after having destroyed every vestige of cultivation in the garden , I waited with forced impatience until the moon had sunk to commence my operations .
`` Assuredly a most benignant power built up the majestic fabric we inhabit , and framed the laws by which it endures .
I can not say much in praise of such a life ; and its pains far exceeded its pleasures .
I found another and a valuable link to enchain me to my fellow creatures ; my point of sight was extended , and the inclinations and capacities of all human beings became deeply interesting to me .
Each day the soldiers of the garrison assaulted our advanced posts , and impeded the accomplishment of our works .
The summer passed tediously , for we trusted that winter would at least check the disease .
Ten thousand thanks to Henry for his kindness , his affection , and his many letters ; we are sincerely grateful .
The tale was quickly told , but it awakened various trains of reflection .
Adrian , whose health had always been weak , now suffered considerable aggravation of suffering from the effects of his wound .
Fire , the sword , and plague They may all be found in yonder city ; on my head alone may they fall '' From this day Raymond 's melancholy increased .
The idea of renewing my labours did not for one instant occur to me ; the threat I had heard weighed on my thoughts , but I did not reflect that a voluntary act of mine could avert it .
He might with equal interest to us , have added a commentary , to describe the unknown and unimaginable lineaments of the creatures , who would then occupy the vacated dwelling of mankind .
Perdita , in whom ambition was a covered fire until she married Raymond , which event was for a time the fulfilment of her hopes ; Perdita will rejoice in the glory and advancement of her lord and , coyly and prettily , not be discontented with her share .
The park was speckled by tents , whose flaunting colours and gaudy flags , waving in the sunshine , added to the gaiety of the scene .
She answered the one with a gush of tears telling me that to be persuaded life and the goods of life were a cheap exchange .
And all this , to be sure , was delicately put ; not in broad words for my feelings might be hurt but Whispered so and so In dark hint soft and lowE with downcast eyes , and sympathizing smiles or whimpers ; and I listened with quiet countenance while every nerve trembled ; I that dared not utter aye or no to all this blasphemy .
Do you remember on what occasion Justine Moritz entered our family ?
But he was checked ; Evadne exacted a promise , that he should conceal from all her friends her existence in England .
Let a veil be drawn over the unimaginable sensations of a guilty father ; the secrets of so agonized a heart may not be made vulgar .
My descent , which claimed interest , if not respect , my former connection with Adrian , the favour of the ambassador , whose secretary I had been , and now my intimacy with Lord Raymond , gave me easy access to the fashionable and political circles of England .
`` I must say also a few words to you , my dear cousin , of little darling William .
Is not this a free country ? '' `` Ay , sir , free enough for honest folks .
If your whole soul does not urge you to forgive me if your entire heart does not open wide its door to admit me to its very centre , forsake me , never speak to me again .
`` 'Where do these friends reside ? ' `` 'Near this spot . '
My passionate and indignant appeals were lost upon them .
Thus , losing our identity , that of which we are chiefly conscious , we glory in the continuity of our species , and learn to regard death without terror .
He besought me , therefore , to leave my solitary isle and to meet him at Perth , that we might proceed southwards together .
Idris could not refrain from a smile , as she listened ; she had already gathered from him that his family was alive and in health ; though not apt to forget the precipice of time on which she stood , yet I could perceive that she was amused for a moment , by the contrast between the contracted view we had so long taken of human life , and the seven league strides with which Merrival paced a coming eternity .
His passions , always his masters , acquired fresh strength , from the long sleep in which love had cradled them , the clinging weight of destiny bent him down ; he was goaded , tortured , fiercely impatient of that worst of miseries , the sense of remorse .
I have loved thee ; and in my days both of happiness and sorrow I have peopled your solitudes with wild fancies of my own creation .
I am placed in the most difficult circumstances .
Let me find the earthly dwelling of my beloved ; let us rescue that from common dust , so that in times to come men may point to the sacred tomb , and name it his then to other thoughts , and a new course of life , or what else fate , in her cruel tyranny , may have marked out for me . ''
Tell me , dearest Victor .
She told me that all the family were dead , except Merrival himself , who had gone mad mad , she called it , yet on questioning her further , it appeared that he was possessed only by the delirium of excessive grief .
Although he deserts his post in London , he may be of the greatest service in the north of England , by receiving and assisting travellers , and contributing to supply the metropolis with food .
During this voyage we passed many willowy islands and saw several beautiful towns .
Soon these burning miseries will be extinct .
Elizabeth , my love , you must supply my place to my younger children .
Even I , depressed in mind , and my spirits continually agitated by gloomy feelings , even I was pleased .
Why should he lose this , now that added years , prudence , and the pledge which his marriage gave to his country , ought to encrease , rather than diminish his claims to confidence ?
The dissecting room and the slaughter house furnished many of my materials ; and often did my human nature turn with loathing from my occupation , whilst , still urged on by an eagerness which perpetually increased , I brought my work near to a conclusion .
`` You begin late , '' said I , ironically , `` marriage is usually considered the grave , and not the cradle of love .
He , her beloved , the sole and eternal object of her passionate tenderness , was restored her .
`` The sun rose ; I heard the voices of men and knew that it was impossible to return to my retreat during that day .
Yet she was meanly dressed , a coarse blue petticoat and a linen jacket being her only garb ; her fair hair was plaited but not adorned : she looked patient yet sad .
I did not see him : my soul was in my words , my eyes could not perceive that which was ; while a vision of Adrian 's form , tainted by pestilence , and sinking in death , floated before them .
They put it into a bed and rubbed it , and Daniel went to the town for an apothecary , but life was quite gone .
With a beating heart she expected another visit , and when after an interval her chamber was again invaded , having first assured herself that the intruders were her mother and an attendant , she composed herself to feigned sleep .
The tears rushed into the eyes of Idris , while Alfred and Evelyn brought now a favourite rose tree , now a marble vase beautifully carved , insisting that these must go , and exclaiming on the pity that we could not take the castle and the forest , the deer and the birds , and all accustomed and cherished objects along with us .
I said to myself , let him receive sympathy and these struggles will cease .
No one certainly ever enjoyed the pleasures of composition more intensely than I .
Perhaps its effects are not so permanent ; but they are , while they last , as violent and intense .
He was watching the rising sun , while with one arm he encircled his beloved 's waist ; she looked on him , the sun of her life , with earnest gaze of mingled anxiety and tenderness .
When I had lived here some time other animals visited me and a fox came every day for a portion of food appropriated for him would suffer me to pat his head .
`` I thank you , '' he replied , `` for your sympathy , but it is useless ; my fate is nearly fulfilled .
`` Every conversation of the cottagers now opened new wonders to me .
The generous nature of Safie was outraged by this command ; she attempted to expostulate with her father , but he left her angrily , reiterating his tyrannical mandate .
The play was Macbeth the first actor of the age was there to exert his powers to drug with irreflection the auditors ; such a medicine I yearned for , so I entered .
I have heard him called inconstant of purpose when he deserted , for the sake of love , the hope of sovereignty , and when he abdicated the protectorship of England , men blamed his infirmity of purpose .
My attention at this time was solely directed towards my plan of introducing myself into the cottage of my protectors .
It is a foolish sentiment for one who is not a materialist , yet , methinks , even in that dark cell , I may feel that my inanimate dust mingles with yours , and thus have a companion in decay . ''
For the first time the feelings of revenge and hatred filled my bosom , and I did not strive to control them , but allowing myself to be borne away by the stream , I bent my mind towards injury and death .
His limbs were in proportion , and I had selected his features as beautiful .
`` For my part , '' said I , `` I am too well convinced of the worth of our friend , and the rich harvest of benefits that all England would reap from his Protectorship , to deprive my countrymen of such a blessing , if he consent to bestow it on them . ''
I was anxious and watchful , while my right hand grasped a pistol which was hidden in my bosom ; every sound terrified me , but I resolved that I would sell my life dearly and not shrink from the conflict until my own life or that of my adversary was extinguished .
Perhaps you will have the goodness to promise me not to marry during that interval ? ''
She is a widow , and much older than Manoir ; but she is very much admired , and a favourite with everybody .
In a fit of heroism I determined to go alone ; to quit you , the life of my life , and not to see you again untill I might guiltlessly .
On the same day I paid M. Waldman a visit .
`` You clothe your meaning , Perdita , '' I replied , `` in powerful words , yet that meaning is selfish and unworthy of you .
I should certainly have died if you had not hastened to me .
These volumes were my study day and night , and my familiarity with them increased that regret which I had felt , as a child , on learning that my father 's dying injunction had forbidden my uncle to allow me to embark in a seafaring life .
Why not for ever thus ?
With trembling hand I conveyed the instruments out of the room , but I reflected that I ought not to leave the relics of my work to excite the horror and suspicion of the peasants ; and I accordingly put them into a basket , with a great quantity of stones , and laying them up , determined to throw them into the sea that very night ; and in the meantime I sat upon the beach , employed in cleaning and arranging my chemical apparatus .
I have lived in the same house with her , at one time for five and at another for nearly two years .
I sickened as I read .
Her present visit to London tended to augment her state of inquietude , by shewing in its utmost extent the ravages occasioned by pestilence .
I received him at the door of my cottage and leading him solemnly into the room , I said : `` My friend , I wish to die .
`` Am I for ever , '' he cried , `` to be the sport of fortune Must man , the heaven climber , be for ever the victim of the crawling reptiles of his species Were I as you , Lionel , looking forward to many years of life , to a succession of love enlightened days , to refined enjoyments and fresh springing hopes , I might yield , and breaking my General 's staff , seek repose in the glades of Windsor .
Oh , no The only joy that he can now know will be when he composes his shattered spirit to peace and death .
No none of these things accompanied our fall The balmy air of spring , breathed from nature 's ambrosial home , invested the lovely earth , which wakened as a young mother about to lead forth in pride her beauteous offspring to meet their sire who had been long absent .
Even I was dispatched to a distant part of the field .
What , though life and the system of social intercourse were a wilderness , a tiger haunted jungle Through the midst of its errors , in the depths of its savage recesses , there was a disentangled and flowery pathway , through which they might journey in safety and delight .
Sometimes I have thought , that , obscure and chaotic as they are , they owe their present form to me , their decipherer .
In spite of my malignity , it softened and attracted me .
Raymond was only the more excited by this consideration to discover him ; impelled by the interest he took in obscure talent , he therefore ordered a person skilled in such matters , to follow the Greek the next time he came , and observe the house in which he should enter .
Her own feeling was as entire as at its birth .
My father and Ernest yet lived , but the former sunk under the tidings that I bore .
Polluted by crimes and torn by the bitterest remorse , where can I find rest but in death ?
We sat in his library , and he spoke of the old Greek sages , and of the power which they had acquired over the minds of men , through the force of love and wisdom only .
Pisando la tierra dura de continuo el hombre esta y cada passo que da es sobre su sepultura .
First , he would look in on Evadne ; he would not stay ; but he owed her some account , some compensation for his long and unannounced absence ; and then to Perdita , to the forgotten world , to the duties of society , the splendour of rank , the enjoyment of power .
His manner , timid at first , became firm his changeful face was lit up to superhuman brilliancy ; his voice , various as music , was like that enchanting .
`` For some weeks I led a miserable life in the woods , endeavouring to cure the wound which I had received .
Yet you do love me ; I feel and know that you do , and thence I draw my most cherished hopes .
September nd My beloved Sister , I write to you , encompassed by peril and ignorant whether I am ever doomed to see again dear England and the dearer friends that inhabit it .
I concealed from this beloved child that her mother 's death was voluntary , and tried every means to awaken cheerfulness in her sorrow stricken spirit .
No word , no expression could body forth the kind of relation in which she stood to me my more than sister , since till death she was to be mine only .
But these fluctuations shook to its depths the soul of the sensitive youth ; he no longer deemed the world subject to him , because he possessed Evadne 's love ; he felt in every nerve that the dire storms of the mental universe were about to attack his fragile being , which quivered at the expectation of its advent .
Mr. Kirwin , on hearing this evidence , desired that I should be taken into the room where the body lay for interment , that it might be observed what effect the sight of it would produce upon me .
But winter was coming , and with winter , hope .
But now that virtue has become to me a shadow , and that happiness and affection are turned into bitter and loathing despair , in what should I seek for sympathy ?
`` We have strange news here , '' I observed .
I have learnt in Greece that one man , more or less , is of small import , while human bodies remain to fill up the thinned ranks of the soldiery ; and that the identity of an individual may be overlooked , so that the muster roll contain its full numbers .
As this state of wretchedness became more confirmed , and , in spite of her endeavours at concealment more apparent , I strove , though vainly , to awaken in her courage and hope .
`` Even so , '' he cried , `` I knew you would speak of her .
All my joy turned to sorrow when I first beheld him with that melancholy countenance enter these doors as it were the day after my lady 's funeral He seemed to recover himself a little after he had bidden me write to you but still it is a woful thing to see him so unhappy . ''
I pursued him , and for many months this has been my task .
Evadne 's constancy , fortitude , even her ill fated and ill regulated love , were matter of admiration and pity ; especially when , from the detail of the events of the nineteenth of October , it was apparent that she preferred suffering and death to any in her eyes degrading application for the pity and assistance of her lover .
Love had doubled all her excellencies , and placed a diadem on her genius .
It surprised me that what before was desert and gloomy should now bloom with the most beautiful flowers and verdure .
I resolved , therefore , that if my immediate union with my cousin would conduce either to hers or my father 's happiness , my adversary 's designs against my life should not retard it a single hour .
The apparition was soon explained .
The month of May had already commenced , and I expected the letter daily which was to fix the date of my departure , when Henry proposed a pedestrian tour in the environs of Ingolstadt , that I might bid a personal farewell to the country I had so long inhabited .
Sorrow fled before her ; and her smile seemed to possess an influence like light to irradiate all mental darkness .
What I have become since this last moment I know not ; perhaps I am changed in mien as the fallen archangel .
It moved slowly , but it enlightened my path , and I again went out in search of berries .
Yet this was very unlike my early life although as then I was confined to Nature and books .
We took our passage on board a vessel bound for Havre de Grace and sailed with a fair wind from the Irish shores .
`` You cherish dreary thoughts , my dear Perdita , '' I said , `` nor do I wonder that for a time your better reason should be influenced by passionate grief and a disturbed imagination .
Thus you may console me by reducing me to nothing but your words I can not bear ; soon they will make me mad , quite mad , and then I shall utter strange words , and you will believe them , and we shall be both lost for ever .
His abdication of the Protectorate had caused an unexampled sensation ; and , when his magnificent and manly system was contrasted with the narrow views of succeeding politicians , the period of his elevation was referred to with sorrow .
I record no crimes ; my faults may easily be pardoned ; for they proceeded not from evil motive but from want of judgement ; and I believe few would say that they could , by a different conduct and superior wisdom , have avoided the misfortunes to which I am the victim .
What slave will not , if he may , escape from his chains ?
I felt as if , from the order of the systematic world , I had plunged into chaos , obscure , contrary , unintelligible .
`` Save me '' she exclaimed , and would have sunk to the ground had I not supported her .
Even in my own heart I could give no expression to my sensations they weighed on me with a mountain 's weight and their excess destroyed my agony beneath them .
All cold , and stiff , and dead Alas I am quite callous : the night I was out in was fearful and the cold rain that fell about my heart has acted like the waters of the cavern of Antiparos and has changed it to stone .
It was echoed from Saleve , the Juras , and the Alps of Savoy ; vivid flashes of lightning dazzled my eyes , illuminating the lake , making it appear like a vast sheet of fire ; then for an instant every thing seemed of a pitchy darkness , until the eye recovered itself from the preceding flash .
He was always the saddest of the group , and even to my unpractised senses , he appeared to have suffered more deeply than his friends .
She appeared affected by different feelings ; wiping a few tears from her lovely eyes , she held out her hand to Felix , who kissed it rapturously and called her , as well as I could distinguish , his sweet Arabian .
It was not strange therefore , that when he heard of the existence of the offspring of this celebrated person , he should have formed the plan of bestowing on them all the advantages his rank made him rich to afford .
On examination , we found that all the leaves , bark , and other substances , were traced with written characters .
Our misfortune is doubly hard to us ; we have not only lost that lovely darling boy , but this poor girl , whom I sincerely love , is to be torn away by even a worse fate .
Often I waited beside the bed of death till midnight , and through the obscurity of rainy , cloudy nights rode many miles , sustained by one circumstance only , the safety and sheltered repose of those I loved .
A remembrance of the discourses of my parents , and the communications which my mother endeavoured to impress upon me concerning my father 's friends , in slight hope that I might one day derive benefit from the knowledge , floated like an indistinct dream through my brain .
During the busy day , my mind had yielded itself a willing slave to the state of things presented to it by its fellow beings ; historical association , hatred of the foe , and military enthusiasm had held dominion over me .
`` You have got up all your arguments in excellent order , '' I replied ; `` and , if Adrian consent , they are unanswerable .
Idris stood beside me , her dear hand locked in mine .
He gave not only a brief denial to his mother 's schemes , but published his intention of using his influence to diminish the power of the aristocracy , to effect a greater equalization of wealth and privilege , and to introduce a perfect system of republican government into England .
Once Idris named me casually a frown , a convulsive gesture of anger , shook her mother , and , with voice trembling with hate , she said `` I am of little worth in this world ; the young are impatient to push the old off the scene ; but , Idris , if you do not wish to see your mother expire at your feet , never again name that person to me ; all else I can bear ; and now I am resigned to the destruction of my cherished hopes : but it is too much to require that I should love the instrument that providence gifted with murderous properties for my destruction . ''
Her timidity was not artificial , but arose from that fear of not being properly appreciated , that slight estimation of the neglect of the world , which also characterized Raymond .
I asked her where he should be buried .
`` There is much truth in what you say , '' said I , `` and yet no man ever acts upon this theory .
`` Every minute , '' continued M. Krempe with warmth , `` every instant that you have wasted on those books is utterly and entirely lost .
His countenance was rough but intelligent his ample brow and quick grey eyes seemed to look out , over his own plans , and the opposition of his enemies .
I threw myself at his feet , and took his hand , `` Yes , speak , and we shall be happy ; there will no longer be doubt , no dreadful uncertainty ; trust me , my affection will soothe your sorrow ; speak that word and all danger will be past , and we shall love each other as before , and for ever . ''
When I mingled with other families I distinctly discerned how peculiarly fortunate my lot was , and gratitude assisted the development of filial love .
You will not dispute with me ?
`` There needs no persuasion , '' said the blushing Perdita , `` except your own dear promises , and my ready heart , which whispers to me that they are true . ''
I remained , while the storm lasted , watching its progress with curiosity and delight .
This lady died , but her lessons were indelibly impressed on the mind of Safie , who sickened at the prospect of again returning to Asia and being immured within the walls of a harem , allowed only to occupy herself with infantile amusements , ill suited to the temper of her soul , now accustomed to grand ideas and a noble emulation for virtue .
His mother , apparently inattentive , at once understood what was meant , and seeing the hold we had upon her , yielded the point to us .
He pointed out the errors , and the alterations that he wished to be made ; he offered the Greek a pencil that he might correct the sketch on the spot ; this was refused by his visitor , who said that he perfectly understood , and would work at it at home .
First , I must thank you , Lionel , for having remained here at my request .
His wife assured us , that he had not observed any difference , except in the absence of the children from his study , and to her infinite surprise he complained of this unaccustomed quiet .
Let us go the world is our country now , and we will choose for our residence its most fertile spot .
But in truth , neither the lonely meditations of the hermit , nor the tumultuous raptures of the reveller , are capable of satisfying man 's heart .
She was a singular being , and , like me , inherited much of the peculiar disposition of our father .
But it is unworthy of me to argue and complain .
Tragedies deep and dire were the chief favourites .
Raymond expressed himself delighted to see him , declaring that he should make one in the festivity of the night .
A restlessness , a fear of what was about to betide , a doubt as to Raymond 's purposes , urged me to return without delay to his quarters .
It was this that led me here : I thought that if I could again awaken in my heart the grief I had felt at the loss of your mother , and the many associations with her memory which had been laid to sleep for seventeen years , that all love for her child would become extinct .
You are going to make enquiries concerning the Earl of Windsor .
Chapter `` I now hasten to the more moving part of my story .
Do not then continue to fix your eyes on the earth ; raise them on me for I can read your soul in them : speak to me to me sic , and pardon my presumption .
Alas To me the idea of an immediate union with my Elizabeth was one of horror and dismay .
Never should he behold her fallen , as she deemed , from her pride of beauty , the poverty stricken inhabitant of a garret , with a name which had become a reproach , and a weight of guilt on her soul .
He was far too long sighted in his view of humanity to heed the casualties of the day , and lived in the midst of contagion unconscious of its existence .
Raymond then lamented the cureless evil of his situation with Perdita .
`` Are you mad , my friend ? '' said he . `` Or whither does your senseless curiosity lead you ?
He had promised to spend some hours with me one afternoon but a violent and continual rain prevented him .
A tear seemed to dim her eye when she saw us , but she quickly recovered herself , and a look of sorrowful affection seemed to attest her utter guiltlessness .
Who ordered your attack ?
In days of happiness I have often repeated to myself , with a grateful heart and exulting spirit , all that Raymond sacrificed for me .
`` You have guessed right ; I have lately been so deeply engaged in one occupation that I have not allowed myself sufficient rest , as you see ; but I hope , I sincerely hope , that all these employments are now at an end and that I am at length free . ''
You may believe that I did not enter on my present line of conduct without reluctance and pain .
`` Here , then , I retreated and lay down happy to have found a shelter , however miserable , from the inclemency of the season , and still more from the barbarity of man .
Elizabeth saw even this last resource , her excellent dispositions and irreproachable conduct , about to fail the accused , when , although violently agitated , she desired permission to address the court .
Come , give me your hand , one look of joyous sympathy and we will go together and seek them ; a lulling journey ; where our arrival will bring bliss and our waking be that of angels .
What appeared to us more astonishing , was that these writings were expressed in various languages : some unknown to my companion , ancient Chaldee , and Egyptian hieroglyphics , old as the Pyramids .
I found Adrian 's anti chamber crowded it was his hour for giving audience .
Towards the end of October it dwindled away , and was in some degree replaced by a typhus , of hardly less virulence .
The shadows of things assumed strange and ghastly shapes .
At first it was the great object of my ambition to rival the merits of my father , and render myself worthy of the friendship of Adrian .
My ancestors had been for many years counsellors and syndics , and my father had filled several public situations with honour and reputation .
I told them exceedingly few deaths had yet been occasioned by pestilence , and gave them hopes , as we were the last visited , so the calamity might have lost its most venomous power before it had reached us .
For this I had deprived myself of rest and health .
Several days elapsed , and at last an answer came , dated from Cologne .
The cold is excessive , and many of my unfortunate comrades have already found a grave amidst this scene of desolation .
It is your duty as a magistrate , and I believe and hope that your feelings as a man will not revolt from the execution of those functions on this occasion . ''
He foresaw that he should leave this cheerful earth , the lightsome sky , and thy love , Perdita ; yet he neither hesitated or turned back , going right onward to his mark of fame .
She thought her the model of all excellence and endeavoured to imitate her phraseology and manners , so that even now she often reminds me of her .
`` It was morning when I awoke , and my first care was to visit the fire .
We approached with all the speed six rowers could give ; the orderly and picturesque dress of the soldiers on the beach , the sounds of exulting music , the stirring breeze and waving flags , the unchecked exclamations of the eager crowd , whose dark looks and foreign garb were purely eastern ; the sight of temple crowned rock , the white marble of the buildings glittering in the sun , and standing in bright relief against the dark ridge of lofty mountains beyond ; the near roar of the sea , the splash of oars , and dash of spray , all steeped my soul in a delirium , unfelt , unimagined in the common course of common life .
Who deserved the hand of this self exalted king more than she whose glance belonged to a queen of nations ?
But a bitter thought swiftly shadowed her joy ; she bent her eyes on the ground , endeavouring to master the passion of tears that threatened to overwhelm her .
I can not guess how many days have passed since then , but I have endured misery which nothing but the eternal sentiment of a just retribution burning within my heart could have enabled me to support .
They planted the cannon on the tumuli , sole elevations in this level country , and formed themselves into column and hollow square ; while the pioneers threw up small mounds for their protection .
One day , while I was gradually recovering , I was seated in a chair , my eyes half open and my cheeks livid like those in death .
She framed her enquiries with Greek subtlety ; she formed her conclusions with the decision and firmness peculiar to her disposition .
From within the city neither shout nor cry , nor aught except the casual howling of a dog , broke the noon day stillness .
By degrees , after the morning 's dawn , sleep came .
I put my hand before my eyes , and cried out in agony , `` Oh Take him away I can not see him ; for God 's sake , do not let him enter '' Mr. Kirwin regarded me with a troubled countenance .
`` Exactly so , '' replied Raymond , `` another link of the breakless chain .
I have longed for a friend ; I have sought one who would sympathize with and love me .
Raymond adduced many arguments and fervent persuasions to overcome her feeling , but she remained unconvinced ; and , agitated by the discussion , she wildly and passionately made a solemn vow , to fly and hide herself where he never could discover her , where famine would soon bring death to conclude her woes , if he persisted in his to her disgracing offers .
In those days how often did I hear of his attractions , his wide spread conquests , his wit , his refined manners .
Was I , then , a monster , a blot upon the earth , from which all men fled and whom all men disowned ?
The growing shadow rose and rose , filling , and then seeming to endeavour to burst beyond , the adamantine vault that bent over , sustaining and enclosing the world .
I can not pretend to describe what I then felt .
But those words are false , for the wave may be dark but it is not bitter .
Not the wild , raving most miserable Mathilda but a youthful Hermitess dedicated to seclusion and whose bosom she must strive to keep free from all tumult and unholy despair The fanciful nunlike dress that I had adopted ; the knowledge that my very existence was a secret known only to myself ; the solitude to which I was for ever hereafter destined nursed gentle thoughts in my wounded heart .
Be it your care to foster this similarity be it your care to render her worthy of him , so that , when she glory in her origin , she take not shame for what she is . ''
The young woman was again occupied in arranging the cottage , the old man walked before the cottage in the sun for a few minutes , leaning on the arm of the youth .
Towards evening dark thunder clouds arose above the horrizon and I heard its distant roll after sunset they darkened the whole sky and it began to rain , the lightning lighted up the whole country and the thunder drowned the noise of our carriage .
All my feelings , even of exultation and triumph , were changed to bitterness , if unparticipated ; Perdita , even in joy , fled to loneliness , and could go on from day to day , neither expressing her emotions , nor seeking a fellow feeling in another mind .
It was in a recess near the head of the ravine to the south of Hymettus .
The coming summer was the extreme end of our vista ; and , when we arrived there , instead of a continuation of the long road , a gulph yawned , into which we must of force be precipitated .
That party , however , could hardly yet be considered a minority in the kingdom , who extolled the ornament of the column , `` the Corinthian capital of polished society ; '' they appealed to prejudices without number , to old attachments and young hopes ; to the expectation of thousands who might one day become peers ; they set up as a scarecrow , the spectre of all that was sordid , mechanic and base in the commercial republics .
Oh , that I had forever remained in my native wood , nor known nor felt beyond the sensations of hunger , thirst , and heat `` Of what a strange nature is knowledge It clings to the mind when it has once seized on it like a lichen on the rock .
Do not regret this ; for death is a too terrible an sic object for the living .
After many struggles , she succeeded , and turned to join the company .
Nothing could exceed the love and respect which the younger cottagers exhibited towards their venerable companion .
It did not require the measured sounds of human language to syllable the story of my extasy .
For a long time I was their only care .
And then say that my father had surely lost his wits ever since my mother 's death ; that he was mad and that I was fortunate , for in one of his fits he might have killed me instead of destroying his own crazed being .
The magistrate observed me with a keen eye and of course drew an unfavourable augury from my manner .
I passed an hour in this state of mind , when suddenly I reflected how fearful the combat which I momentarily expected would be to my wife , and I earnestly entreated her to retire , resolving not to join her until I had obtained some knowledge as to the situation of my enemy .
I have said that he was a poet : when he was three and twenty years of age he first published a poem , and it was hailed by the whole nation with enthusiasm and delight .
Do so ; if your high heart , incapable of my infirmity of purpose , refuses to bend to the lowness of mine .
My father was enraptured on finding me freed from the vexations of a criminal charge , that I was again allowed to breathe the fresh atmosphere and permitted to return to my native country .
His countenance expressed sympathy and compassion ; he drew a chair close to mine and addressed me in French , `` I fear that this place is very shocking to you ; can I do anything to make you more comfortable ? ''
Henry deeply felt the misfortune of being debarred from a liberal education .
Spirits of Good , behold the tears of my earnest prayer Bless my child Protect her from the selfish among her fellow creatures : protect her from the agonies of passion , and the despair of disappointment Peace , Hope and Love be thy guardians , oh , thou soul of my soul : thou in whom I breathe `` I dare not read my letter over for I have no time to write another , and yet I fear that some expressions in it might displease me .
I drew a touching picture of his vacillating health ; I boasted of my own strength .
He has obtained his prize , and he pilots his boat through the flood ; our eyes were fixed on him fearfully , but the stream carried him away from us ; he was forced to land far lower down , and to make a considerable circuit before he could join us .
When I quitted Geneva my first labour was to gain some clue by which I might trace the steps of my fiendish enemy .
But my heart sank within me as with bitter sickness , and I refrained .
`` Dearest Clerval , '' exclaimed I , `` how kind , how very good you are to me .
Well it was here we sat together , and when you hear all that past all that of terrible tore our souls even in this placid spot , which but for strange passions might have been a paradise to us , you will not wonder that I remember it as I looked on it that its calm might give me calm , and inspire me not only with courage but with persuasive words .
With the same wary prudence that characterized her whole conduct , she concealed her discovery , but hastened to remove her son from the sphere of the attractive Greek .
He was nurtured in prosperity and attended by all its advantages ; every one loved him and wished to gratify him .
`` You well know , Victor , that our union had been the favourite plan of your parents ever since our infancy .
Adrian , the matchless brother of my soul , the sensitive and excellent Adrian , loving all , and beloved by all , yet seemed destined not to find the half of himself , which was to complete his happiness .
When we were in company he affected gaiety but I wept to hear his hollow laugh begun by an empty smile and often ending in a bitter sneer such as never before this fatal period had wrinkled his lips .
These thoughts encouraged Raymond , as he stood at the door of the highest room of the house .
Lord Raymond requested permission to accompany her to Windsor Castle , to which she consented , and they quitted the cottage together .
They were not expressed in words , nor even reduced to form in my own mind ; but they filled my soul , exalting my thoughts , raising a glow of enthusiasm , and led me out of the obscure path in which I before walked , into the bright noon enlightened highway of mankind , making me , citizen of the world , a candidate for immortal honors , an eager aspirant to the praise and sympathy of my fellow men .
We passed St. Paul 's .
`` A friend , '' replied Raymond in the same dialect .
Alas who is safe , if she be convicted of crime ?
My ardour was indeed the astonishment of the students , and my proficiency that of the masters .
The eye easily discerns the sister land ; they were united once ; and the little path that runs between looks in a map but as a trodden footway through high grass .
I might feel gratitude to another but I never more could love or hope as I had done ; it was all suffering ; even my pleasures were endured , not enjoyed .
She left me , and I continued some time walking up and down the passages of the house and inspecting every corner that might afford a retreat to my adversary .
We quitted Athens on the nd of June .
I am not immortal ; and the thread of my history might be spun out to the limits of my existence .
A vain concession ; his demeanour quickly betrayed his secret to the quick eyes of the ex queen .
During this short voyage I saw the lightning playing on the summit of Mont Blanc in the most beautiful figures .
A sentiment approaching happiness followed the total resignation of one 's being to the guardianship of the world 's ruler .
Perdita grew in beauty and excellence under his eye ; I no longer recognised my reserved abstracted sister in the fascinating and open hearted wife of Raymond .
Who can follow an animal which can traverse the sea of ice and inhabit caves and dens where no man would venture to intrude ?
They only saw a poor girl broken in spirit , who spoke in a low and gentle voice , and from underneath whose downcast lids tears would sometimes steal which she strove to hide .
He soon took great interest in me , and sometimes forgot his own grief to sit beside me and endeavour to cheer me .
My heart , which was before sorrowful , now swelled with something like joy ; I exclaimed , `` Wandering spirits , if indeed ye wander , and do not rest in your narrow beds , allow me this faint happiness , or take me , as your companion , away from the joys of life . ''
But here were books , and here were men who had penetrated deeper and knew more .
I left my guardian 's house and I was never heard of again ; it was believed from the letters that I left and other circumstances that I planned that I had destroyed myself .
I then thought that my father would be unjust if he ascribed my neglect to vice or faultiness on my part , but I am now convinced that he was justified in conceiving that I should not be altogether free from blame .
Lionel , he sleeps there ; that is the grave of Raymond , he whom in my youth I first loved ; whom my heart accompanied in days of separation and anger ; to whom I am now joined for ever .
I found that the sparrow uttered none but harsh notes , whilst those of the blackbird and thrush were sweet and enticing .
He knew that I could not have a more kind and attentive nurse than himself ; and , firm in the hope he felt of my recovery , he did not doubt that , instead of doing harm , he performed the kindest action that he could towards them .
Better have loved despair , safer kissed her .
I retired to rest at night ; my slumbers , as it were , waited on and ministered to by the assemblance of grand shapes which I had contemplated during the day .
I learned , from the views of social life which it developed , to admire their virtues and to deprecate the vices of mankind .
Guard , I entreat you , a firm persuasion of my sincerity in the inmost recesses of your heart out of the reach of the casual winds that may disturb its surface .
Upon this text many fanatics arose , who prophesied that the end of time was come .
Soft tears again bedewed my cheeks , and I even raised my humid eyes with thankfulness towards the blessed sun , which bestowed such joy upon me .
Reasoning and persuasion were thrown away upon her ; she would endure no hindrance , no delay .
Yet I would die to make her happy .
This kind of popularity , like every other , is evanescent : and the difficulties of every kind with which he had to contend , increased in a frightful ratio compared with his small means of extricating himself .
Great God What agony I endured .
May not even this be a feint that will increase your triumph by affording a wider scope for your revenge ? '' `` How is this ?
There for with your leave , my sister , I will put some trust in preceding navigators there snow and frost are banished ; and , sailing over a calm sea , we may be wafted to a land surpassing in wonders and in beauty every region hitherto discovered on the habitable globe .
On the night of her return she sickened of the plague .
The vault above became obscured , lightning flashed from the heavy masses , followed instantaneously by crashing thunder ; then the big rain fell .
I stood beside the sources of the Arveiron , which take their rise in a glacier , that with slow pace is advancing down from the summit of the hills to barricade the valley .
The few members who were present , had come more for the sake of terminating the business by securing a legal attendance , than under the idea of a debate .
If I fled I should be pursued ; in life there was no escape for me : why then I must die .
This purpose is now accomplished ; he will never see me more .
It had been a favourite resort of Adrian ; it was secluded ; and he often said that in boyhood , his happiest hours were spent here ; having escaped the stately bondage of his mother , he sat on the rough hewn steps that led to the spring , now reading a favourite book , now musing , with speculation beyond his years , on the still unravelled skein of morals or metaphysics .
It was apparent that my conversation had interested the father in my behalf , and I was a fool in having exposed my person to the horror of his children .
The knowledge that I am here , rises with me in the morning , and enables me to endure the light ; it is mingled with my food , which else were poison ; it walks , it sleeps with me , for ever it accompanies me .
She continued to rave of her speedy meeting with her beloved in the grave , of his death nigh at hand ; sometimes she solemnly declared that he was summoned ; sometimes she bewailed his hard destiny .
`` I remember , the first time that I did this , the young woman , when she opened the door in the morning , appeared greatly astonished on seeing a great pile of wood on the outside .
I endeavoured to change my course but quickly found that if I again made the attempt the boat would be instantly filled with water .
His careless extravagance , which made him squander immense sums of money to satisfy passing whims , which from their apparent energy he dignified with the name of passions , often displayed itself in unbounded generosity .
Locked in his embrace , she spoke thus , and cast back her head , seeking an assent to her words in his eyes they were sparkling with ineffable delight .
She looked on it as a deceitful dream , and tried to throw off the consciousness of it ; but like the shirt of Nessus , it clung to her very flesh , and ate with sharp agony into her vital principle .
Chance or rather the evil influence , the Angel of Destruction , which asserted omnipotent sway over me from the moment I turned my reluctant steps from my father 's door led me first to M. Krempe , professor of natural philosophy .
Was man , indeed , at once so powerful , so virtuous and magnificent , yet so vicious and base ?
My father saw this change with pleasure , and he turned his thoughts towards the best method of eradicating the remains of my melancholy , which every now and then would return by fits , and with a devouring blackness overcast the approaching sunshine .
Over him hung a form which I can not find words to describe gigantic in stature , yet uncouth and distorted in its proportions .
At length I saw him at some distance , seated under a tree , and when he perceived me he waved his hand several times , beckoning me to approach ; there was something unearthly in his mien that awed and chilled me , but I drew near .
The sound of the waves was left behind ; that of the multitude continued at intervals , supressed and hoarse ; and though , in the city , the houses , churches , and public buildings were decorated with tapestry and banners though the soldiery lined the streets , and the inhabitants in thousands were assembled to give him hail , the same solemn silence prevailed , the soldiery presented arms , the banners vailed , many a white hand waved a streamer , and vainly sought to discern the hero in the vehicle , which , closed and encompassed by the city guards , drew him to the palace allotted for his abode .
She fears for the children she adores , and for you , the father of these , her lover , husband , protector ; and you must be near her to support and encourage her .
He tore from reality the mask with which she had been clothed ; and the purposes of Raymond , which before had crept around , ensnaring by stealth , now stood a hunted stag even at bay as all perceived who watched the irrepressible changes of his countenance .
She figured to herself their life in the Greek isle he had selected for their retreat ; her task of soothing him ; her cares for the beauteous Clara , her rides in his company , her dedication of herself to his consolation .
From a feeling of cunning blindly exercised , the officious , if not malignant messenger , did not speak of Evadne 's illness ; but she garrulously gave an account of Raymond 's frequent visits , adding to her narration such circumstances , as , while they convinced Perdita of its truth , exaggerated the unkindness and perfidy of Raymond .
Age and care had furrowed her cheeks , and bent her form ; but her eye was still bright , her manners authoritative and unchanged ; she received her daughter coldly , but displayed more feeling as she folded her grand children in her arms .
`` Hear , O ye inhabitants of the earth , '' he cried , `` hear thou , all seeing , but most pitiless Heaven hear thou too , O tempest tossed heart , which breathes out these words , yet faints beneath their meaning Death is among us The earth is beautiful and flower bedecked , but she is our grave The clouds of heaven weep for us the pageantry of the stars is but our funeral torchlight .
Hundreds of English residents returned to their own country .
Has this mind , so replete with ideas , imaginations fanciful and magnificent , which formed a world , whose existence depended on the life of its creator ; has this mind perished ?
Her mother ended with a look of contempt and covert triumph , which for a moment awakened the suspicions of Idris .
He had been seized and confined ; he had escaped and wandered from London among the neighbouring towns , and , with frantic gestures and thrilling words , he unveiled to each their hidden fears , and gave voice to the soundless thought they dared not syllable .
But I am content to die .
After days and nights of incredible labour and fatigue , I succeeded in discovering the cause of generation and life ; nay , more , I became myself capable of bestowing animation upon lifeless matter .
Anger made no part of his emotion .
But that would be a cruel kindness , and I dare not do it .
Raymond asked me if I would accompany him to the House that evening .
Our enemy , like the Calamity of Homer , trod our hearts , and no sound was echoed from her steps With ills the land is rife , with ills the sea , Diseases haunt our frail humanity , Through noon , through night , on casual wing they glide , Silent , a voice the power all wise denied .
`` On examining my dwelling , I found that one of the windows of the cottage had formerly occupied a part of it , but the panes had been filled up with wood .
The morning air blowing freshly over the dewy plants , rushed into the heated room .
But never , O , never , should he see her in her degraded state .
I panted to relieve this painful heart burning by some misdeed that should rouse him to a sense of my antipathy .
The father of Adrian yielded up the already broken sceptre of England ; but I will rear the fallen plant , join its dismembered frame , and exalt it above all the flowers of the field .
This promise of a renewed lease of life turned rugged natures to melting tenderness , and by contrast filled the soft with harsh and unnatural sentiments .
I ordered her to bring my breakfast to my room , and was again left alone yet still I could make no resolve , but only thought that I might write a note to my father to beg his permission to pay a visit to a relation who lived about thirty miles off , and who had before invited me to her house , but I had refused for then I could not quit my suffering father .
We experienced no more assaults ; and by night and day we continued our labours unimpeded .
I can not depart without your forgiveness and I must endeavour to gain it , or I must despair .
But since the murderer has been discovered `` `` The murderer discovered Good God how can that be ? who could attempt to pursue him ?
I read these words with devouring eyes ; I kissed them , wept over them and exclaimed , `` He will love me '' My aunt would not undertake so long a journey , and in a fortnight we had another letter from my father , it was dated Edinburgh : he wrote that he should be with us in three days .
But sleep did not afford me respite from thought and misery ; my dreams presented a thousand objects that scared me .
But in Clerval I saw the image of my former self ; he was inquisitive and anxious to gain experience and instruction .
At first these agonizing plaints filled me with intolerable compassion .
The news reached Felix and roused him from his dream of pleasure .
I started up a knife was in my grasp ; I made a plunge at his raised right arm , and inflicted a deep , wide wound in his hand .
He had seen so many customs and witnessed so great a variety of moral creeds that he had been obliged to form an independant one for himself which had no relation to the peculiar notions of any one country : his early prejudices of course influenced his judgement in the formation of his principles , and some raw colledge ideas were strangely mingled with the deepest deductions of his penetrating mind .
Such things , when they happen singly , affect only the immediate parties ; but the prosperity of the nation was now shaken by frequent and extensive losses .
Many things I read surpassed my understanding and experience .
If I were alone , would he not at times force his abhorred presence on me to remind me of my task or to contemplate its progress ?
It was during an access of this kind that I suddenly left my home , and bending my steps towards the near Alpine valleys , sought in the magnificence , the eternity of such scenes , to forget myself and my ephemeral , because human , sorrows .
You have loved me ; I adored you .
Circumstances had called me to London ; here I heard talk that symptoms of the plague had occurred in hospitals of that city .
Often too , the voice to which all listened was suddenly silenced , the helping hand cold , the sympathetic eye closed , and the villagers feared still more the death that had selected a choice victim , shivering in dust the heart that had beat for them , reducing to incommunicable annihilation the mind for ever occupied with projects for their welfare .
When I had concluded my narration I said , `` This is the being whom I accuse and for whose seizure and punishment I call upon you to exert your whole power .
I heard of the slothful Asiatics , of the stupendous genius and mental activity of the Grecians , of the wars and wonderful virtue of the early Romans of their subsequent degenerating of the decline of that mighty empire , of chivalry , Christianity , and kings .
Flowers , the children of the spring , adorned her garden and casements ; in the midst of lowliness there was an air of elegance which spoke the graceful taste of the inmate .
I approached the shore , my father held the boat , I leapt lightly out , and in a moment was in his arms .
I cherished hope , it is true , but it vanished when I beheld my person reflected in water or my shadow in the moonshine , even as that frail image and that inconstant shade .
Am I not the most miserable worm that crawls ?
Those writers who have imagined a reign of peace and happiness on earth , have generally described a rural country , where each small township was directed by the elders and wise men .
They were impatient and angry in the midst of terror .
Perdita had permitted us to take Clara back with us to Windsor ; and she and my two lovely infants were perpetual sources of interest and amusement .
You say that you have lost Raymond .
Timidity , which in her had almost amounted to awkwardness , was exchanged for a graceful decision of manner ; frankness , instead of reserve , characterized her physiognomy ; and her voice was attuned to thrilling softness .
My friend and I had both been educated in one school , or rather I was his pupil in the opinion , that steady adherence to principle was the only road to honour ; a ceaseless observance of the laws of general utility , the only conscientious aim of human ambition .
I sympathized with and partly understood them , but I was unformed in mind ; I was dependent on none and related to none .
While the rest of the company , in confused murmur , which grew louder and louder , gave voice to their many fears .
You know how wilful your poor , misery stricken sister is .
Yet when she died Nay , then I was not miserable .
Our little town of Windsor , in which the survivors from the neighbouring counties were chiefly assembled , wore a melancholy aspect .
Heretofore we have been friends lovers let us not become enemies , mutual spies .
`` And wherefore was it glorious ?
With painful earnestness he questioned me concerning her prophecies with regard to him .
I went also to act in conformity with Adrian 's plans , which was to congregate in masses what remained of the population ; for he possessed the conviction that it was only through the benevolent and social virtues that any safety was to be hoped for the remnant of mankind .
`` Do not let this letter disturb you ; do not answer tomorrow , or the next day , or even until you come , if it will give you pain .
When I adverted to the question of their entire separation , she replied : `` Be it so One day the period will arrive ; I know it , and feel it .
They clung with eagerness to the hope held out that he might yet be alive .
I entered the cabin where lay the remains of my ill fated and admirable friend .
Elizabeth seemed happy ; my tranquil demeanour contributed greatly to calm her mind .
She awaited with eagerness the return of her messenger from the palace ; she listened insatiate to his account of each word , each look of the Protector ; she felt bliss in this communication with her beloved , although he knew not to whom he addressed his instructions .
Not so Idris ; her first glance was for her brother ; she took his hand , she kissed his eye lids , and hung over him with looks of compassion and love .
`` The winter advanced , and an entire revolution of the seasons had taken place since I awoke into life .
Sometimes I entreated my attendants to assist me in the destruction of the fiend by whom I was tormented ; and at others I felt the fingers of the monster already grasping my neck , and screamed aloud with agony and terror .
`` To my task , '' she continued mentally , `` my guests must not perceive the reality , either as it regards him or me .
The heart sickened at the variety of misery presented ; and , when I saw a specimen of this gloomy change , my soul ached with the fear of what might befall my beloved Idris and my babes .
Perdita , wedded to an imagination , careless of what is behind the veil , whose charactery is in truth faulty and vile , Perdita has renounced me .
The small garrisons were drawn from the various towns and fortresses , and went to swell the main army .
Death , which had in our younger days walked the earth like `` a thief that comes in the night , '' now , rising from his subterranean vault , girt with power , with dark banner floating , came a conqueror .
At early dawn the vessel was discovered bearing in shore ; it was conjectured that it would cast anchor about five miles from land .
The room was decorated with the busts of many of them , and he described their characters to me .
Why when fate drove me to become this outcast from human feeling ; this monster with whom none might mingle in converse and love ; why had she not from that fatal and most accursed moment , shrouded me in thick mists and placed real darkness between me and my fellows so that I might never more be seen ? , sic and as I passed , like a murky cloud loaded with blight , they might only perceive me by the cold chill I should cast upon them ; telling them , how truly , that something unholy was near ?
Neither grief , philosophy , nor love could make Perdita think with mildness of the dereliction of Raymond .
The birth of her daughter , embryo copy of her Raymond , filled up the measure of her content , and produced a sacred and indissoluble tie between them .
I saw unhappiness deeply impressed on his countenance , but he endeavoured to welcome me cheerfully ; and , after we had exchanged our mournful greeting , would have introduced some other topic than that of our disaster , had not Ernest exclaimed , `` Good God , papa Victor says that he knows who was the murderer of poor William . ''
A shudder like the swift passing of an electric shock ran through the house , when Rosse exclaimed , in answer to `` Stands Scotland where it did ? ''
The mind flags beneath the weight of thought , and droops in the heartless intercourse of those whose sole aim is amusement .
Although they spent much time together at Windsor , the extreme youth of Adrian prevented any suspicion as to the nature of their intercourse .
The clouds become thin ; an arch is formed for ever rising upwards , till , the universal cope being unveiled , the sun pours forth its rays , re animated and fed by the breeze .
F Spencer 's Faery Queen Book Canto CHAPTER XII As I was perpetually haunted by these ideas , you may imagine that the influence of Woodville 's words was very temporary ; and that although I did not again accuse him of unkindness , yet I soon became as unhappy as before .
This city had remained faithful to him , after the whole nation had forsaken his cause to join the standard of Parliament and liberty .
Each day was eagerly counted ; and the inhabitants of towns , desirous to leap this dangerous interval , plunged into dissipation , and strove , by riot , and what they wished to imagine to be pleasure , to banish thought and opiate despair .
I began with light hand and gentle allurement ; first exciting her curiosity , and then satisfying it in such a way as might occasion her , at the same time that she half forgot her sorrows in occupation , to find in the hours that succeeded a reaction of benevolence and toleration .
We descended from Parnassus , emerging from its many folds , and passed through Livadia on our road to Attica .
She had at first yielded to our entreaties , but when she heard that the life of her favourite was menaced , she could no longer control her anxiety .
The sun sank beneath the horizon as we landed , and as I touched the shore I felt those cares and fears revive which soon were to clasp me and cling to me forever .
It was a melancholy thing to return to this spot so dear to us , as the scene of a happiness rarely before enjoyed , here to mark the extinction of our species , and trace the deep uneraseable footsteps of disease over the fertile and cherished soil .
She had set down no rule of conduct for herself ; but for her life she could not have opposed his slightest wish , or do other than acquiesce cheerfully in all his projects .
My place of refuge was constructed of wood , but so low that I could with difficulty sit upright in it .
The wind arose ; the sea roared ; and , as with the mighty shock of an earthquake , it split and cracked with a tremendous and overwhelming sound .
Or , when the dun clouds thickly veil the sky , while exhaustless stores of rain are poured down , until , the dank earth refusing to imbibe the superabundant moisture , it lies in pools on the surface ; when the torch of day seems like a meteor , to be quenched ; who has not seen the cloud stirring north arise , the streaked blue appear , and soon an opening made in the vapours in the eye of the wind , through which the bright azure shines ?
What deep and sacred emotions are excited in a father 's bosom , when he first becomes convinced that his love for his child is not a mere instinct , but worthily bestowed , and that others , less akin , participate his approbation It was supreme happiness to Idris and myself , to find that the frankness which Alfred 's open brow indicated , the intelligence of his eyes , the tempered sensibility of his tones , were not delusions , but indications of talents and virtues , which would `` grow with his growth , and strengthen with his strength . ''
I must not permit you to be acquainted with the extent of my delusion , lest you despise me ; although , believe me , a wish to appear before you , not vanquished , but as a conqueror , inspired me during my wordy war . ''
These speculations were rife among us ; yet not the less we proceeded in our daily occupations , and our plans , whose accomplishment demanded the lapse of many years .
Hypocritical fiend If he whom you mourn still lived , still would he be the object , again would he become the prey , of your accursed vengeance .
Tears also gushed from the eyes of Clerval , as he read the account of my misfortune .
But these gave place to a heavy swell ; I felt sick and hardly able to hold the rudder , when suddenly I saw a line of high land towards the south .
It was in the newspaper that she saw the advertisement for the design for a national gallery .
Will you think of Raymond less at Windsor , the scene of your early happiness ?
`` I fear that I speak in a constrained manner : my heart is overflowing with the ardent desire I have of bringing calm once more to your thoughts and looks ; but I fear to aggravate your grief , or to raise that in you which is death to me , anger and distaste .
His wisdom guided all .
Raymond staggered forth from this scene , as a man might do , who had been just put to the torture , and looked forward to when it would be again inflicted .
Raymond saw the danger ; he was willing to save his troops from the crime of disobedience ; for he knew , that contention once begun between the commander and his army , each act and word added to the weakness of the former , and bestowed power on the latter .
Such is human nature , that beauty and deformity are often closely linked .
Yet , although unhappy , he is not so utterly occupied by his own misery but that he interests himself deeply in the projects of others .
Let him take them back ; without his love they are nothing to me .
I will proceed with my tale .
On this occasion a man of great research in natural philosophy was with us , and excited by this catastrophe , he entered on the explanation of a theory which he had formed on the subject of electricity and galvanism , which was at once new and astonishing to me .
Her voice was musical but unlike that of either of my friends .
The very idea was generous and noble , but , beyond this , his unpretending manner , his entire want of the assumption of a virtue , rendered his act ten times more touching .
The cottage of my protectors had been the only school in which I had studied human nature , but this book developed new and mightier scenes of action .
You can blast my other passions , but revenge remains revenge , henceforth dearer than light or food I may die , but first you , my tyrant and tormentor , shall curse the sun that gazes on your misery .
From the top of the mound , I looked far round all was silent and deserted .
For many months Woodville had in vain endeavoured to cast off this terrible remembrance ; it still hung on him untill memory was too great a burthen for his loaded soul , but when on horseback the spell that seemingly held him to this idea was snapt ; then if he thought of his lost bride he pictured her radiant in beauty ; he could hear her voice , and fancy her `` a sylvan Huntress by his side , '' while his eyes brightened as he thought he gazed on her cherished form .
It was a child singing a merry , lightsome air ; there was no other sound .
It was long before he was restored , and I often thought that life was entirely extinct .
Mothers , kiss you last husbands , protectors no more , lead on the partners of your death Come , O come while the dear ones are yet in sight , for soon they will pass away , and we never never shall join them more . ''
A robin red breast dropt from the frosty branches of the trees , upon the congealed rivulet ; its panting breast and half closed eyes shewed that it was dying : a hawk appeared in the air ; sudden fear seized the little creature ; it exerted its last strength , throwing itself on its back , raising its talons in impotent defence against its powerful enemy .
Yet I must cling to it ; perhaps it will kill me soon , and thus perform a thankful office . ''
The fear of so mighty a calamity as the loss of our adored infant made the current of my blood pause with chilly horror ; but the remembrance of the mother restored my presence of mind .
He submitted to be away from her , because she commanded this submission ; but for her influence , he would have declared his attachment before all England , and resisted , with unshaken constancy , his mother 's opposition .
Memory brought madness with it , and when I thought of what had passed , a real insanity possessed me ; sometimes I was furious and burnt with rage , sometimes low and despondent .
I looked round on the audience ; the females were mostly of the lower classes , but the men were of all ranks , come hither to forget awhile the protracted scenes of wretchedness , which awaited them at their miserable homes .
The wind fanned the fire , and the cottage was quickly enveloped by the flames , which clung to it and licked it with their forked and destroying tongues .
You have been tutored and refined by books and retirement from the world , and you are therefore somewhat fastidious ; but this only renders you the more fit to appreciate the extraordinary merits of this wonderful man .
He was now all love , all softness ; and when I raised my eyes in wonder at him as he spoke the smile on his lips told me that his heart was possessed by the gentlest passions .
An ample estate was allotted to them , and they took the first rank among the peers of Great Britain .
I wished for no friend , no sympathy .
And when the development of her understanding disclosed the true nature of this intercourse to her , her affections were already engaged to her friend , and all she feared was lest other attractions and fickleness might make him break his infant vows .
He never sported , but spent hours in watching the tribes of lovely and almost tame animals with which it was stocked , and ordered that greater care should be taken of them than ever .
In the mean time Raymond was eloquent .
With his permission my mother prevailed on her rustic guardians to yield their charge to her .
`` And those who do not work for posterity ; or working , as may be my case , will not be known by it ; yet they , believe me , have also their duties .
Advance avail thyself of the gift , thou and thy comrades ; and in the drama you are about to act , do not disgrace those who taught you to enter on the stage , and to pronounce becomingly the parts assigned to you May your progress be uninterrupted and secure ; born during the spring tide of the hopes of man , may you lead up the summer to which no winter may succeed See an ingenious Essay , entitled , `` The Mythological Astronomy of the Ancients Demonstrated , '' by Mackey , a shoemaker , of Norwich printed in .
I no longer despair , but look on all around me with placid affection .
Have not actors wept , as they pourtrayed imagined passion ?
But the haughty Ex Queen thought as Octavius Caesar and Mark Antony , We could not stall together In the whole world .
`` During the ensuing days , while the preparations were going forward for the escape of the merchant , the zeal of Felix was warmed by several letters that he received from this lovely girl , who found means to express her thoughts in the language of her lover by the aid of an old man , a servant of her father who understood French .
The late setting of the moon , and the extreme caution I was obliged to use in this my third expedition , consumed so much time , that something like a qualm of fear came over me when I perceived dark night yield to twilight .
When we arrived at Kishan , we learnt , that on hearing of the advance of Lord Raymond and his detachment , the Turkish army had retreated from Rodosto ; but meeting with a reinforcement , they had re trod their steps .
He could have endured poverty , and while this distress had been the meed of his virtue , he gloried in it ; but the ingratitude of the Turk and the loss of his beloved Safie were misfortunes more bitter and irreparable .
I quitted my seat , and walked on , although the darkness and storm increased every minute , and the thunder burst with a terrific crash over my head .
Lights now appeared to guide us ; and a long suite of splendid rooms illuminated , made us still more wonder .
Raymond 's eyes were fixed on the city .
I have described myself as always having been imbued with a fervent longing to penetrate the secrets of nature .
We were told this when young , and taught to look forward to it as an event that would certainly take place .
I tell you I am on the very verge of insanity ; why , cruel girl , do you drive me on : you will repent and I shall die . ''
Her mild eyes seemed incapable of any severity or guile , and yet she has committed a murder . ''
Raymond was ten years older ; to his previous beauty , noble mien , and commanding aspect , he now added gentlest benevolence , winning tenderness , graceful and unwearied attention to the wishes of another .
There were no horses to be procured , and I must return by the lake ; but the wind was unfavourable , and the rain fell in torrents .
I was unable to remain for a single instant in the same place ; I jumped over the chairs , clapped my hands , and laughed aloud .
She married ; and , carrying her restless energy of character with her into new scenes , she turned her thoughts to ambition , and aimed at the title and power of Princess of Wallachia ; while her patriotic feelings were soothed by the idea of the good she might do her country , when her husband should be chief of this principality .
Better die at once better plunge a poinard in her bosom , still untouched by drear adversity , and then again sheathe it in my own But , no ; in times of misery we must fight against our destinies , and strive not to be overcome by them .
Do you not see my tears which I in vain strive against You hear unmoved my voice broken by sobs Feel how my hand trembles : my whole heart is in the words I speak and you must not endeavour to silence me by mere words barren of meaning : the agony of my doubt hurries me on , and you must reply .
She tried to disperse them , but they refused to be checked her utterance was choaked .
With these , her children , the noble widow constantly resided at Windsor ; and admitted no visitors , except her own partizans , travellers from her native Germany , and a few of the foreign ministers .
I had no fear , therefore , that any circumstantial evidence could be brought forward strong enough to convict her .
Pestilence had become a part of our future , our existence ; it was to be guarded against , like the flooding of rivers , the encroachments of ocean , or the inclemency of the sky .
It was the secrets of heaven and earth that I desired to learn ; and whether it was the outward substance of things or the inner spirit of nature and the mysterious soul of man that occupied me , still my inquiries were directed to the metaphysical , or in its highest sense , the physical secrets of the world .
You must begin life , he said : you are seventeen , and longer delay would render the necessary apprenticeship more and more irksome .
But why approach my chamber ?
I had money with me and gained the friendship of the villagers by distributing it ; or I brought with me some food that I had killed , which , after taking a small part , I always presented to those who had provided me with fire and utensils for cooking .
Shouts from a thousand voices now rent the air the cry of applause became universal .
We were told that this would not be the case ; that we were by nature a poetical people , a nation easily duped by words , ready to array clouds in splendour , and bestow honour on the dust .
At length lassitude succeeded to the tumult I had before endured , and I threw myself on the bed in my clothes , endeavouring to seek a few moments of forgetfulness .
In a thousand ways he smoothed for me the path of knowledge and made the most abstruse inquiries clear and facile to my apprehension .
The leafless trees spread their fibrous branches against the pure sky ; their intricate and pervious tracery resembled delicate sea weed ; the deer were turning up the snow in search of the hidden grass ; the white was made intensely dazzling by the sun , and trunks of the trees , rendered more conspicuous by the loss of preponderating foliage , gathered around like the labyrinthine columns of a vast temple ; it was impossible not to receive pleasure from the sight of these things .
His first wish was aggrandisement ; and the means that led towards this end were secondary considerations .
`` How kind and generous you are every one else believes in her guilt , and that made me wretched , for I knew that it was impossible : and to see every one else prejudiced in so deadly a manner rendered me hopeless and despairing . ''
He appeared like the forgotten spirit of the time in the theatres , and bade the spectators go home and die .
`` Weep not , sweet child , '' said he , `` the coming death of one you have hardly known .
By degrees , I remember , a stronger light pressed upon my nerves , so that I was obliged to shut my eyes .
I was punctual to the appointed hour on the following day , and found Lord Raymond waiting for me .
They retreated , and , joining others of their companions , still fell back , till they reached the main body .
Adrian 's soul was painted in his countenance , and concealment or deceit were at the antipodes to the dreadless frankness of his nature .
My father had been and his memory was the life of my life .
Do not return to your families with the stigma of disgrace marked on your brows .
The singing was interrupted by laughing and talking ; never was merry ditty so sadly timed , never laughter more akin to tears .
Adrian despised the narrow views of the politician , and Raymond held in supreme contempt the benevolent visions of the philanthropist .
Their incursion would hardly have been felt had they come alone ; but the Irish , collected in unnatural numbers , began to feel the inroads of famine , and they followed in the wake of the Americans for England also .
At last he rose , and said in his usual tone of voice , `` The time grows on us , Verney , I must away .
Sometimes we passed whole days under the leafy covert of the forest with our books and music .
It was impossible to effect any thing in so short a time .
My reply was ready ; a reproach I deemed calculated to sting his very heart .
It is more cold within her , than a fire left by gypsies in winter time , the spent embers crowned by a pyramid of snow .
Mont Blanc , the supreme and magnificent Mont Blanc , raised itself from the surrounding aiguilles , and its tremendous dome overlooked the valley .
Before I had quitted your apartment , on a sensation of cold , I had covered myself with some clothes , but these were insufficient to secure me from the dews of night .
Yes , you are the sole , the agonizing cause of all I suffer , of all I must suffer untill I die .
But I was restrained , when I thought of the heroic and suffering Elizabeth , whom I tenderly loved , and whose existence was bound up in mine .
She saw that he was endowed with genius and surpassing talent ; these she cultivated for the sake of afterwards using them for the furtherance of her own views .
Nor shall you , my friend ; cheer up ; cease to weep , I entreat you .
In this state of mind I wrote to Elizabeth .
Write , dearest Victor , one line one word will be a blessing to us .
But you are distant from me , and it is possible that you may dread and yet be pleased with this explanation ; and in a probability of this being the case , I dare not any longer postpone writing what , during your absence , I have often wished to express to you but have never had the courage to begin .
`` After the murder of Clerval I returned to Switzerland , heart broken and overcome .
She welcomed me with the greatest affection .
I once had a friend , the most noble of human creatures , and am entitled , therefore , to judge respecting friendship .
At length the thought of you crossed my mind .
During the two years that had elapsed previous to their marriage my father had gradually relinquished all his public functions ; and immediately after their union they sought the pleasant climate of Italy , and the change of scene and interest attendant on a tour through that land of wonders , as a restorative for her weakened frame .
The flood and storms did more harm to continental Europe than to us giving , as it were , the last blow to the calamities which destroyed it .
I have already put off the carelessness of childhood , the unlined brow , and springy gait of early years , that they may adorn thee .
This was to a great degree the case : for , though a large landed proprietor , yet , being a projector , and of an ardent and industrious disposition , he had on his own estate given himself up to agricultural labours .
I passed the night wretchedly .
Nature grows old , and shakes in her decaying limbs , creation has become bankrupt What wonder then , that eclipse and death have led to destruction the light of thy life , O Perdita '' CHAPTER IX .
The hours were slow for each minute was employed ; we lived more in one week than many do in the course of several months and the variety and novelty of our pleasures gave zest to each .
Beaufort had taken effectual measures to conceal himself , and it was ten months before my father discovered his abode .
`` I spent the winter in this manner .
I had acquired in my harp a companion in rainy days ; a sweet soother of my feelings when any untoward accident ruffled them : I often addressed it as my only friend ; I could pour forth to it my hopes and loves , and I fancied that its sweet accents answered me .
`` One by one , her brothers and sister died ; and her mother , with the exception of her neglected daughter , was left childless .
He loathed the idea that his daughter should be united to a Christian , but he feared the resentment of Felix if he should appear lukewarm , for he knew that he was still in the power of his deliverer if he should choose to betray him to the Italian state which they inhabited .
One evening , quitting our inn , we strolled down a shady lane , then up a grassy slope , till we came to an eminence , that commanded an extensive view of hill and dale , meandering rivers , dark woods , and shining villages .
The silence of midnight , to speak truly , though apparently a paradox , rung in my ears .
Will you accompany me to Windsor to morrow ?
We first came upon a few stragglers of the Irish at St. Albans .
They hurried away , as soon as they saw me ; my agitated mien added to their fear of coming near one who had entered within the verge of contagion .
The last action at which I was present was the taking of .
They insisted , therefore , that I should engage with a solemn promise that if the vessel should be freed I would instantly direct my course southwards .
Nothing could exceed in beauty the contrast between these two excellent creatures .
You throw a torch into a pile of buildings , and when they are consumed , you sit among the ruins and lament the fall .
We found Raymond in his dining room with six others : the bottle was being pushed about merrily , and had made considerable inroads on the understanding of one or two .
One man in particular stood in front , his eyes fixt on the prophet , his mouth open , his limbs rigid , while his face changed to various colours , yellow , blue , and green , through intense fear .
The Greek fleet blockading every port of Stamboul , prevented the arrival of succour from Asia ; all egress on the side towards land had become impracticable , except to such desperate sallies , as reduced the numbers of the enemy without making any impression on our lines .
I repassed , in my memory , my whole life my quiet happiness while residing with my family in Geneva , the death of my mother , and my departure for Ingolstadt .
That Idris , the princely born , nursling of wealth and luxury , should have come through the tempestuous winter night from her regal abode , and standing at my lowly door , conjure me to fly with her through darkness and storm was surely a dream again her plaintive tones , the sight of her loveliness assured me that it was no vision .
After some observations on the scenery and seats , Raymond said : `` Philosophers have called man a microcosm of nature , and find a reflection in the internal mind for all this machinery visibly at work around us .
He loved her for her beauty and for her amiable disposition but he seemed to love her more for what he considered her superior wisdom .
His design was to visit India , in the belief that he had in his knowledge of its various languages , and in the views he had taken of its society , the means of materially assisting the progress of European colonization and trade .
They entered , and their leader addressed me .
The resources of his mind on this occasion were truly astonishing : his conversation was full of imagination ; and very often , in imitation of the Persian and Arabic writers , he invented tales of wonderful fancy and passion .
The whole series of my life appeared to me as a dream ; I sometimes doubted if indeed it were all true , for it never presented itself to my mind with the force of reality .
`` Get well and return to us .
What a brimful cup of joyful agony it was , when his face first gleamed with the glance of recognition when he pressed my hand , now more fevered than his own , and when he pronounced my name No trace of his past insanity remained , to dash my joy with sorrow .
What though those limbs moved not , and those lips could no more frame modulated accents of wisdom and love What though like a weed flung from the fruitless sea , he lay the prey of corruption still that was the form she had caressed , those the lips that meeting hers , had drank the spirit of love from the commingling breath ; that was the earthly mechanism of dissoluble clay she had called her own .
The buds decked the trees , the flowers adorned the land : the dark branches , swollen with seasonable juices , expanded into leaves , and the variegated foliage of spring , bending and singing in the breeze , rejoiced in the genial warmth of the unclouded empyrean : the brooks flowed murmuring , the sea was waveless , and the promontories that over hung it were reflected in the placid waters ; birds awoke in the woods , while abundant food for man and beast sprung up from the dark ground .
She weeps continually , and accuses herself unjustly as the cause of his death ; her words pierce my heart .
These were dreadful fears and they even haunted my dreams .
Idris is a gentle , pretty , sweet little girl ; it is impossible not to have an affection for her , and I have a very sincere one ; only do not speak of love love , the tyrant and the tyrant queller ; love , until now my conqueror , now my slave ; the hungry fire , the untameable beast , the fanged snake no no I will have nothing to do with that love .
`` You propose , '' replied I , `` to fly from the habitations of man , to dwell in those wilds where the beasts of the field will be your only companions .
But I , the true murderer , felt the never dying worm alive in my bosom , which allowed of no hope or consolation .
At first I had neglected them , but now that I was able to decipher the characters in which they were written , I began to study them with diligence .
Be proud of me , and cherish your infant remembrance of me .
Dreadful as the time was when I pursued my father towards the ocean , found their sic only his lifeless corpse ; yet for my own sake I should prefer that to the watching one by one his senses fade ; his pulse weaken and sleeplessly as it were devour his life in gazing .
Henry wished to dissuade me , but seeing me bent on this plan , ceased to remonstrate .
I turned angrily away : `` Verney , '' said Adrian , `` you are very cynical : sit down ; or if you will not , perhaps , as you are not a frequent visitor , Lord Raymond will humour you , and accompany us , as we had previously agreed upon , to parliament . ''
From him she sprung , flesh of his flesh , bone of his bone and not , as heretofore , are you content to trace in her downy cheek and delicate limbs , an affinity to Raymond , but in her enthusiastic affections , in the sweet qualities of her mind , you may still find him living , the good , the great , the beloved .
His wit , his bon mots , the record of his personal attractions , fascinating manners , and social talents , were long remembered and repeated from mouth to mouth .
Farewell , Perdita farewell , poor girl never again will you see yourself thus ; luxury and wealth are no longer yours ; in the excess of your poverty you may envy the homeless beggar ; most truly am I without a home I live on a barren desart , which , wide and interminable , brings forth neither fruit or flower ; in the midst is a solitary rock , to which thou , Perdita , art chained , and thou seest the dreary level stretch far away . ''
His tale is connected and told with an appearance of the simplest truth , yet I own to you that the letters of Felix and Safie , which he showed me , and the apparition of the monster seen from our ship , brought to me a greater conviction of the truth of his narrative than his asseverations , however earnest and connected .
His plans were facilitated by the news which arrived from Paris .
Agatha , the ever gentle Agatha , kissed the hands of the lovely stranger , and pointing to her brother , made signs which appeared to me to mean that he had been sorrowful until she came .
At length it was mentioned in the newspapers .
Woodville was obliged to make a journey into the country and was detained from day to day in irksome absence from his lovely bride .
Some miracle might have produced it , yet the stages of the discovery were distinct and probable .
Could he be I shuddered at the conception the murderer of my brother ?
Will no entreaties cause thee to turn a favourable eye upon thy creature , who implores thy goodness and compassion ?
The same half disdainful lips and smile of triumph , the same intelligent eyes , the same brow and chestnut hair ; her very hands and taper fingers resembled his .
As he was proceeding along the sands , he struck his foot against something and fell at his length on the ground .
The very beauty of the Grecian climate , during the season of spring , added torture to her sensations .
And then he devoutly loved Perdita ; the bend of her head , her glossy ringlets , the turn of her form were to him subjects of deep tenderness and admiration ; as she spoke , her melodious tones entered his soul ; he soon softened towards her , comforting and caressing her , and endeavouring to cheat himself into the belief that he had never wronged her .
But soon the dim orb passed from over the sun , and lingered down the eastern heaven .
`` Do not degrade me in my own eyes , '' she said ; `` poverty has long been my nurse ; hard visaged she is , but honest .
The events that immediately followed on my arrival at Windsor changed this view of things .
On earth I thought that I had well fulfilled my trial my last moments became peaceful with the reflection that I deserved no blame but you take from me that feeling My passions were there my all to me and the hopeless misery that possessed me shut all love all images of beauty from my soul Nature was to me as the blackest night if rays of loveliness ever strayed into my darkness it was only to draw bitter tears of hopeless anguish from my eyes Oh on earth what consolation is there to misery ?
Looking timidly around , as if she feared to be overheard , she whispered : `` I have discovered to morrow that is , to day already the to morrow is come before dawn , foreigners , Austrians , my mother 's hirelings , are to carry me off to Germany , to prison , to marriage to anything , except you and my brother take me away , or soon they will be here '' I was frightened by her vehemence , and imagined some mistake in her incoherent tale ; but I no longer hesitated to obey her .
I was often tempted , when all was at peace around me , and I the only unquiet thing that wandered restless in a scene so beautiful and heavenly if I except some bat , or the frogs , whose harsh and interrupted croaking was heard only when I approached the shore often , I say , I was tempted to plunge into the silent lake , that the waters might close over me and my calamities forever .
The following morning Lord Raymond visited me early .
Will you accompany me ?
My departure for Ingolstadt , which had been deferred by these events , was now again determined upon .
I was a poor , helpless , miserable wretch ; I knew , and could distinguish , nothing ; but feeling pain invade me on all sides , I sat down and wept .
You are grieved and there is grief in the expression of your countenance but it is gentle and sweet .
In crowded cities , among cultivated plains , or on the desart mountains , pain is thickly sown , and if we can tear up but one of these noxious weeds , or more , if in its stead we can sow one seed of corn , or plant one fair flower , let that be motive sufficient against suicide .
They were grass grown and desert .
Besides , some months have elapsed since the commission of his crimes , and no one can conjecture to what place he has wandered or what region he may now inhabit . ''
Your own delicacy will not allow you , I am convinced , to attempt to trace me .
I wandered for ever about these lovely solitudes , gathering flower after flower Ond ' era pinta tutta la mia viaB singing as I might the wild melodies of the country , or occupied by pleasant day dreams .
But if his countenance was more sorrowful , his voice was more cheerful than that of his sister , especially when he addressed the old man .
She grew capricious ; her gentle conduct towards him was exchanged for asperity and repulsive coldness .
Life was then brilliant ; I began to learn to hope and what brings a more bitter despair to the heart than hope destroyed ?
The stars came out , shedding their ineffectual glimmerings on the light widowed earth .
Good night , my sister .
But revenge kept me alive ; I dared not die and leave my adversary in being .
Night closed in , and it began to rain .
I often thought that I would instantly return and take you along with me to some fertile island where we should live at peace for ever .
It was only when he was absent from me that his passion subdued him , that he clinched his hands knit his brows and with haggard looks called for death to his despair , raving wildly , untill exhausted he sank down nor was revived untill I joined him .
She uttered some words in a loud voice , and the youth joined her , who also expressed surprise .
Perceiving the weakness of Raymond , I was afraid of ill consequences from the pressure of the crowd on his landing .
`` I do not know , '' said the man , `` what the custom of the English may be , but it is the custom of the Irish to hate villains . ''
Some were royalists from prejudice and ancient affection , and there were many moderately inclined who feared alike the capricious tyranny of the popular party , and the unbending despotism of the aristocrats .
Men made perilous journies to possess themselves of earth 's splendid trifles , gems and gold .
Had I right , for my own benefit , to inflict this curse upon everlasting generations ?
For a few moments I gazed with delight on her dark eyes , fringed by deep lashes , and her lovely lips ; but presently my rage returned ; I remembered that I was forever deprived of the delights that such beautiful creatures could bestow and that she whose resemblance I contemplated would , in regarding me , have changed that air of divine benignity to one expressive of disgust and affright .
I can not describe the rapturous delight with which I turned from political brawls at home , and the physical evils of distant countries , to my own dear home , to the selected abode of goodness and love ; to peace , and the interchange of every sacred sympathy .
His passage to power had been full of pain to both .
`` Merrival , '' I said , `` it is long since we have seen you you must return to Windsor with me Lady Idris desires to see you , you will not refuse her request come home with me . ''
In his amendment he proposed , that an exception should be made in the bill in favour of any person who claimed the sovereign power in right of the earls of Windsor .
One by one these symptoms struck me ; I became convinced that the moment I had so much desired was about to arrive and that I was dying .
We took leave of them in the Protectoral Palace .
I saw Lord Raymond on his charger ; a small company of officers had gathered about him ; and behind was a promiscuous concourse of soldiers and subalterns , their discipline lost , their arms thrown aside ; no music sounded , no banners streamed .
All the ex queen 's friends were his friends ; no week passed that he did not hold consultations with her at Windsor .
We come , '' he exclaimed , springing forwards , `` for what should we wait ?
I pressed it to my lips , while the rough soldiers gathered around , mourning over this worthiest prey of death , as if regret and endless lamentation could re illumine the extinguished spark , or call to its shattered prison house of flesh the liberated spirit .
`` Alas My father , '' said I , `` how little do you know me .
We visited the so called Elysian Fields and Avernus : and wandered through various ruined temples , baths , and classic spots ; at length we entered the gloomy cavern of the Cumaean Sibyl .
At first indeed this wanton spirit played a false part appearing with sable wings gloomy countenance seemed to take a pleasure in exagerating all my miseries and as small hopes arose to snatch them from me give me in their place gigantic fears which under her fairy hand appeared close , impending unavoidable sometimes she would cruelly leave me while I was thus on the verge of madness and without consoling me leave me nought but heavy leaden sleep but at other times she would wilily link less unpleasing thoughts to these most dreadful ones before I was aware place hopes before me futile but consoling One day this lovely spirit whose name as she told me was Fantasia came to me in one of her consolotary moods her wings which seemed coloured by her tone of mind were not gay but beautiful like that of the partridge her lovely eyes although they ever burned with an unquenshable fire were shaded softened by her heavy lids the black long fringe of her eye lashes She thus addressed me You mourn for the loss of those you love .
He easily eluded me and said , `` Be calm I entreat you to hear me before you give vent to your hatred on my devoted head .
I learned also the names of the cottagers themselves .
She had lived for some years in an alms house , and on fine Sundays her threshold was constantly beset by a crowd , seeking her advice and listening to her admonitions .
I had the newspaper in my hand , and , as usual , had turned to the intelligence from Greece .
Raymond looked keenly at him ; he could read benignity only in his gentle lineaments ; he turned to me , observing with scorn my moody and stern demeanour .
If you can never be happy , can you never bestow happiness ?
Certainly the Ryland that advanced towards us now , bore small resemblance to the powerful , ironical , seemingly fearless canvasser for the first rank among Englishmen .
At all events methought that the wound could be healed ; and , if they remained together , it would be so .
When she perceived the wild or pathetic appeal of his expressive countenance , she would relent , and for a while resume her ancient kindness .
But now my mother , or , if you will , my mother 's lessons , awaken within me .
Yet it was less painful to see him thus , than to find him fulfilling the animal functions uninterruptedly , his mind sick the while .
He was a boy of singular talent and fancy .
And was I really as mad as the whole world would believe me to be if I disclosed the object of my suspicions ?
I replied in the same language , with a feeble voice , `` I believe I am ; but if it be all true , if indeed I did not dream , I am sorry that I am still alive to feel this misery and horror . ''
But soon I endeavoured to extract patience for her from the ideas she suggested .
A letter came unawares , Perdita read it .
`` This account rather alarmed us , and we continued to search for him until night fell , when Elizabeth conjectured that he might have returned to the house .
I was indifferent , therefore , to my school fellows in general ; but I united myself in the bonds of the closest friendship to one among them .
I have been miserably mistaken in imagining that I could conquer my love for you ; I never can .
When happy , inanimate nature had the power of bestowing on me the most delightful sensations .
Ryland had shewn that he preferred him .
As it was , the sweet girl 's generous nature was roused to defend , and ally herself with , my despised cause .
Farewell I must now leave you for a few hours .
I replied in a calm voice but how far from calm was the thought imaged by my still words `` Never I can never consent that Lady Idris should be united to one who does not love her . '' `` Because you love her yourself . ''
Ah , dear sister , how can I answer this question ?
Thus this towering spirit who had excited interest and high expectation in all who knew and could value him became at once , as it were , extinct .
The orphan and neglected son of Verney , was on the eve of being linked to the mechanism of society by a golden chain , and to enter into all the duties and affections of life .
The foreigners whom we had among us , who had fled from the plague in their own country , now saw their last asylum invaded ; and , fear making them garrulous , they described to eager listeners the miseries they had beheld in cities visited by the calamity , and gave fearful accounts of the insidious and irremediable nature of the disease .
Elizabeth 's heart rending eloquence failed to move the judges from their settled conviction in the criminality of the saintly sufferer .
The poor animal recognised me , licked my hand , crept close to its lord , and died .
He loved her with passion and her tenderness had a charm for him that would not permit him to think of aught but her .
If you really say this , my questions are answered and all my doubts satisfied .
We can not calculate on his forces like that of an engine ; and , though an impulse draw with a forty horse power at what appears willing to yield to one , yet in contempt of calculation the movement is not effected .
Her voice was suffocated with sobs .
On being charged with the fact , the poor girl confirmed the suspicion in a great measure by her extreme confusion of manner .
Chapter Clerval then put the following letter into my hands .
Yet could I , in justice , or even in possibility , refuse this demand ?
The possession of these treasures gave me extreme delight ; I now continually studied and exercised my mind upon these histories , whilst my friends were employed in their ordinary occupations .
All that had so long engaged my attention suddenly grew despicable .
A murmur of surprise and horror ran through the assembly .
And do I dare to ask of you to undertake my pilgrimage , to endure the hardships that I have undergone ?
You were hereafter to be hailed as the benefactors of your species , your names adored as belonging to brave men who encountered death for honour and the benefit of mankind .
She thought he did well to assert his own will , but she wished that will to have been more intelligible to the multitude .
I must go , Lionel the Gods will it ; and I must .
I was silent : all was silent except the roaring of the sea which became louder and more dreadful .
He showed unparalleled malignity and selfishness in evil ; he destroyed my friends ; he devoted to destruction beings who possessed exquisite sensations , happiness , and wisdom ; nor do I know where this thirst for vengeance may end .
I inquired the way to the inn , but no one replied .
I well knew that if any other had communicated such a relation to me , I should have looked upon it as the ravings of insanity .
He was a Turkish merchant and had inhabited Paris for many years , when , for some reason which I could not learn , he became obnoxious to the government .
For many days I have longed to disclose the mysterious presentiments that weigh on me , although I fear that you will ridicule them .
The grand jury rejected the bill , on its being proved that I was on the Orkney Islands at the hour the body of my friend was found ; and a fortnight after my removal I was liberated from prison .
During three months I have been employed in this task .
From the moment Perdita had sufficiently recovered herself to form any plan of action , she had laid one down , which now she prepared to follow .
This old woman had reached her hundredth year ; her skin was shrivelled , her form was bent and lost in extreme decrepitude ; but as still from year to year she continued in existence , out living many younger and stronger , she began to feel as if she were to live for ever .
The Persian , Arabic , and Sanskrit languages engaged his attention , and I was easily induced to enter on the same studies .
Here I may even cease to repine , and may add my tardy consent to the decree which has taken him from me .
Guileless himself , Adrian feared no deceit .
Thus , while Raymond had been wrapt in visions of power and fame , while he looked forward to entire dominion over the elements and the mind of man , the territory of his own heart escaped his notice ; and from that unthought of source arose the mighty torrent that overwhelmed his will , and carried to the oblivious sea , fame , hope , and happiness .
He is irrecoverably mad . ''
Was there indeed anarchy in the sublime universe of Adrian 's thoughts , did madness scatter the well appointed legions , and was he no longer the lord of his own soul ?
She leads them to truth wisdom untill the time comes when they shall be fitted for the journey through the universe which all must one day undertake farewell And now , gentlest reader I must beg your indulgence I am a being too weak to record the words of Diotima her matchless wisdom heavenly eloquence .
Sordid care , avaunt menial labours , and pains , slight in themselves , but too gigantic for our exhausted strength , shall make no part of our ephemeral existences .
The villages were decorated by triumphal arches of greenery by day , and lamps by night ; tapestry waved from the windows , the ground was strewed with flowers , and the name of Raymond , joined to that of Greece , was echoed in the Evive of the peasant crowd .
Early in the day , Argyropylo was wounded dangerously , and Raymond assumed the command of the whole army .
How delicious to me were the words of his letter that concerned me : `` I can not tell you , '' it said , `` how ardently I desire to see my Mathilda .
Shall I go alone , or will you accompany me ? ''
Until now , my savage habits had done me no radical mischief ; my physical powers had grown up and flourished under their influence , and my mind , undergoing the same discipline , was imbued with all the hardy virtues .
The anniversary was at hand of the exaltation of Raymond to the office of Protector ; and it was customary to celebrate this day by a splendid festival .
As I spoke , a dark gloom spread over my listener 's countenance .
He had been struck by the fortitude and beauty of the ill fated Greek ; and , when her constant tenderness towards him unfolded itself , he asked with astonishment , by what act of his he had merited this passionate and unrequited love .
She did not in the least resemble either of her children ; her black and sparkling eye , lit up by pride , was totally unlike the blue lustre , and frank , benignant expression of either Adrian or Idris .
Again I am a solitary man ; and I will become again , as in my early years , a wanderer , a soldier of fortune .
I was as a solitary spot among mountains shut in on all sides by steep black precipices ; where no ray of heat could penetrate ; and from which there was no outlet to sunnier fields .
All I now ask , all your mother , Idris , requests is , that you will not see this upstart during the interval of one month . ''
I was bewildered , in a cloud of wonder and horror .
I resolved at length to accompany Perdita .
Woe befall the day , she thought , woe , tears , and mourning betide the hour , that gave Raymond another hope than love , another wish than my devotion ; and thrice joyful the moment when he shall be restored to me God knows , I put my trust in his vows , and believe his asserted faith but for that , I would not seek what I am now resolved to attain .
He grasped my hand affectionately : `` Thank you , '' he said , `` you have relieved me from a painful dilemma , and are , as you ever were , the best of my friends .
`` But it is true that I am a wretch .
Hear him not ; call on the names of William , Justine , Clerval , Elizabeth , my father , and of the wretched Victor , and thrust your sword into his heart .
But your sad mien never alters ; your pulses beat and you breathe , yet you seem already to belong to another world ; and sometimes , pray pardon my wild thoughts , when you touch my hand I am surprised to find your hand warm when all the fire of life seems extinct within you .
He discovered the name of the spot whither my father had retreated , and where he died ; he learnt the existence of his orphan children ; and during the short interval between his arrival at Ulswater and our meeting in the park , he had been occupied in making inquiries concerning us , and arranging a variety of plans for our benefit , preliminary to his introducing himself to our notice .
He was found stiff , his hands clenched , and pressed against his breast .
No ; I am not so selfish .
Still I think , that time , and even absence , may restore her to me .
It was situated against the back of the cottage and surrounded on the sides which were exposed by a pig sty and a clear pool of water .
The autumn was warm and rainy : the infirm and sickly died off happier they : many young people flushed with health and prosperity , made pale by wasting malady , became the inhabitants of the grave .
He was one of those very few whom fortune favours from their birth ; on whom she bestows all gifts of intellect and person with a profusion that knew no bounds , and whom under her peculiar protection , no imperfection however slight , or disappointment however transitory has leave to touch .
Often , when wearied by a toilsome march , I persuaded myself that I was dreaming until night should come and that I should then enjoy reality in the arms of my dearest friends .
My duties towards the beings of my own species had greater claims to my attention because they included a greater proportion of happiness or misery .
`` Yes , '' said Elizabeth , `` I will go , although she is guilty ; and you , Victor , shall accompany me ; I can not go alone . ''
But I forget that I am moralizing in the most interesting part of my tale , and your looks remind me to proceed .
I have no one near me , gentle yet courageous , possessed of a cultivated as well as of a capacious mind , whose tastes are like my own , to approve or amend my plans .
Not so Raymond ; he was an enchanter , whose reign was for ever undiminished ; a king whose power never was suspended : follow him through the details of common life , still the same charm of grace and majesty adorned him ; nor could he be despoiled of the innate deification with which nature had invested him .
When we were together I spoke little yet my selfish mind was sometimes borne away by the rapid course of his ideas ; I would lift my eyes with momentary brilliancy until memories that never died and seldom slept would recur , and a tear would dim them .
I motioned him to take up the letter , while I walked up and down the room in the extremest agitation .
Death and disease level all men .
She had no experience beyond her father 's cottage ; and the mansion of the lord of the manor was the chiefest type of grandeur she could conceive .
A new species would bless me as its creator and source ; many happy and excellent natures would owe their being to me .
We had prepared a banquet for our guests in the lower hall of the castle ; and thither Idris and I repaired to receive and entertain the few that remained .
I could hardly sustain the multitude of feelings that crowded into my mind .
`` Entertain this belief , '' he cried , `` hug it to your heart make it a pillow to your head , an opiate for your eyes I am content .
Many living deaths have I borne for thee , O Raymond , and now I expire , thy victim By my death I purchase thee lo the instruments of war , fire , the plague are my servitors .
Such incursions struck the English with affright , in all those towns where there was still sufficient population to feel the change .
The high walls of the tomb , and the flaming sword of plague , lie between it and him .
The field of ice is almost a league in width , but I spent nearly two hours in crossing it .
Why my sic does my heart heave with vain endeavour to cast aside the bitter anguish that covers it `` as the waters cover the sea . ''
Alas it was double cruelty in him to have chosen the sea for his fatal resolve ; it was adding madness to my despair .
The name of the king , he to whom my dying father had addressed his latest prayers , and who had barbarously slighted them , was associated only with the ideas of unkindness , injustice , and consequent resentment .
Yet let me a little retract from this sentence I have passed on myself .
I see by your eagerness and the wonder and hope which your eyes express , my friend , that you expect to be informed of the secret with which I am acquainted ; that can not be ; listen patiently until the end of my story , and you will easily perceive why I am reserved upon that subject .
Were the pride of ancestry , the patrician spirit , the gentle courtesies and refined pursuits , splendid attributes of rank , to be erased among us ?
Social feeling and sympathy constituted a marked feature in my disposition .
As he spoke , every sound was hushed , every thought suspended by intense attention .
I started up , my strength returned ; sic with my terror ; I cried , `` Oh , God Is this thy decree ?
Burke has said that , 'in all bodies those who would lead , must also , in a considerable degree , follow . '
I never loved any but you .
Pardon me , gentle reader , this is not futile vanity ; not futile , since to know that Adrian felt thus , brings joy even now to my lone heart .
She directed everything to be prepared for the continuance of their journey , and placing her lovely sleeping charge on a bed , passed several hours in acute suffering .
I feel yet parched with horror , nor can I reflect on that terrible moment without shuddering and agony .
This good woman had stood in the place of a mother , and her very deficiencies of education and knowledge , by rendering her humble and defenceless , endeared her to us she was the especial favourite of the children .
We conjectured , notwithstanding what we had heard , that we should find Raymond in St. Stephen 's : thither we sped .
He felt assured , after he had for awhile humoured her self will , that in the end friendship and reason would gain the day .
I know not by what chain of thought the idea presented itself , but it instantly darted into my mind that the murderer had come to mock at my misery and taunt me with the death of Clerval , as a new incitement for me to comply with his hellish desires .
I tell you we are no longer miserable mortals ; we are about to become Gods ; spirits free and happy as gods .
The world was to me a secret which I desired to divine .
The plain around was interspersed with cemeteries , Turk , Greek , and Armenian , with their growth of cypress trees ; and other woods of more cheerful aspect , diversified the scene .
`` All men hate the wretched ; how , then , must I be hated , who am miserable beyond all living things Yet you , my creator , detest and spurn me , thy creature , to whom thou art bound by ties only dissoluble by the annihilation of one of us .
She had grown thin and pale ; and her eyes often filled with tears .
If , instead of this remark , my father had taken the pains to explain to me that the principles of Agrippa had been entirely exploded and that a modern system of science had been introduced which possessed much greater powers than the ancient , because the powers of the latter were chimerical , while those of the former were real and practical , under such circumstances I should certainly have thrown Agrippa aside and have contented my imagination , warmed as it was , by returning with greater ardour to my former studies .
Turning to him , therefore , I said , `` I consent to your demand , on your solemn oath to quit Europe forever , and every other place in the neighbourhood of man , as soon as I shall deliver into your hands a female who will accompany you in your exile . ''
Her only consolation during the violence which she did herself , was to watch the motions of an illuminated clock , and internally count the moments which must elapse before she could be alone .
The sight of the military restored hope to those who fled , and revenge took place of fear .
Then I should have lived upon this dreary heath unvisited , and blasting none by my unhallowed gaze .
`` In his murder my crimes are consummated ; the miserable series of my being is wound to its close Oh , Frankenstein Generous and self devoted being What does it avail that I now ask thee to pardon me ?
He mentioned the beauties of his native country and asked us if those were not sufficient allurements to induce us to prolong our journey as far north as Perth , where he resided .
At least it would be a benevolent action to rescue the sufferer , whether human or brute , from the desolation of the town ; so , sending Clara back to her home , I again entered Constantinople .
Perdita rejoined him , and before her he forced himself to appear cheerful , for she , even as a mirror , changed as he changed , and if he were silent and anxious , she solicitously inquired concerning , and endeavoured to remove the cause of his seriousness .
Near the fire was Ryland and his supporters .
Day after day so many hundreds wore on ; they brought no outward changes with them , but some few slowly operated on my mind as I glided on towards death .
She regarded with suspicion the invitation of Idris ; she embraced me , as if she were about to be deprived of my affection also : calling me her more than brother , her only friend , her last hope , she pathetically conjured me not to cease to love her ; and with encreased anxiety she departed for London , the scene and cause of all her misery .
You who have dedicated your powers of mind and fortune to the benefit of your species , shall you so misdirect your exertions , as to support in uselessness the strong , healthy , and capable ? ''
At last , with slow and heavy steps , I had paced out of the hall , and sprung upon my horse .
I clung to my ferocious habits , yet half despised them ; I continued my war against civilization , and yet entertained a wish to belong to it .
But my father ; my beloved and most wretched father ?
No human being could have passed a happier childhood than myself .
`` She will of course , as I shall her , when we are married . ''
You , perhaps , regard her as your sister , without any wish that she might become your wife .
We may not part until you have promised to comply with my requisition .
Turning her thoughts this way , I gave them an object which rescued them from insanity .
She had never been married ; and for the last five years had lived perfectly alone on an estate , that had descended to her through her mother , on the shores of Loch Lomond in Scotland .
When I came to the reality , and saw regiments file off to the left far out of sight , fields intervening between the battalions , but a few troops sufficiently near me to observe their motions , I gave up all idea of understanding , even of seeing a battle , but attaching myself to Raymond attended with intense interest to his actions .
There she would behold the tomb of her parents , and the territory filled with recollections of her father 's glory .
The ward was filled with an effluvia that caused my heart to heave with painful qualms .
Once for a moment she revived and recognized his voice ; a smile , a last lovely smile , played upon her lips .
With shuddering horror I veiled this monument of human passion and human misery ; I heaped over her all of flags and heavy accoutrements I could find , to guard her from birds and beasts of prey , until I could bestow on her a fitting grave .
I felt a holy rapture spring from all I saw .
With her therefore , before me on my horse , attended only by the servant who was to re conduct her , we rode to the Top Kapou .
We will set up a candidate , and ensure his success .
Whither does this lead ?
The young man and his companion often went apart and appeared to weep .
He felt that the end of time was come ; he knew that one by one we should dwindle into nothingness .
See you not the thunderbolt fall , and are deafened by the shout of heaven that follows its descent ?
I rushed towards her and embraced her with ardour , but the deadly languor and coldness of the limbs told me that what I now held in my arms had ceased to be the Elizabeth whom I had loved and cherished .
It is a part of man 's nature to adapt itself through habit even to pain and sorrow .
`` How inconstant are your feelings But a moment ago you were moved by my representations , and why do you again harden yourself to my complaints ?
I watched the re awakened devotion of my sister ; Clara 's timid , but concentrated admiration of her father , and Raymond 's appetite for renown , and sensitiveness to the demonstrations of affection of the Athenians .
It was late in the day before Perdita awoke , and a longer time elapsed before recovering from the torpor occasioned by the laudanum , she perceived her change of situation .
Never for one moment when most placid did I cease to pray for death .
The girl was young and of gentle demeanour , unlike what I have since found cottagers and farmhouse servants to be .
Much as they were attached to each other , they seemed to draw inexhaustible stores of affection from a very mine of love to bestow them upon me .
He received a letter from her to say that she was slightly ill , but telling him to hasten to her , that from his eyes she would receive health and that his company would be her surest medecine .
I shunned the face of man ; all sound of joy or complacency was torture to me ; solitude was my only consolation deep , dark , deathlike solitude .
I struggled vainly for firmness sufficient to answer him , but the effort destroyed all my remaining strength ; I sank on the chair and sobbed aloud .
When she entered the court she threw her eyes round it and quickly discovered where we were seated .
The monster continued to utter wild and incoherent self reproaches .
Its forest should be our world its garden afford us food ; within its walls I would establish the shaken throne of health .
'Pardon this intrusion , ' said I ; ' I am a traveller in want of a little rest ; you would greatly oblige me if you would allow me to remain a few minutes before the fire . ' `` 'Enter , ' said De Lacey , 'and I will try in what manner I can to relieve your wants ; but , unfortunately , my children are from home , and as I am blind , I am afraid I shall find it difficult to procure food for you . ' `` 'Do not trouble yourself , my kind host ; I have food ; it is warmth and rest only that I need . ' `` I sat down , and a silence ensued .
He transacted the business of the day apart from her ; he went out , she knew not whither .
During the first stage of the election , the Duke of had been thrown out ; the question therefore lay between Lord Raymond and Mr. Ryland .
That Raymond should marry Idris was more than ever intolerable ; yet my passion , though a giant from its birth , was too strange , wild , and impracticable , for me to feel at once the misery I perceived in Perdita .
Again her chill limbs touched me as a torpedo ; and I shuddered in sympathy with her pain and fright .
You have often agreed with me that there is but one solution to the intricate riddle of life ; to improve ourselves , and contribute to the happiness of others : and now , in the very prime of life , you desert your principles , and shut yourself up in useless solitude .
Raymond had fought and conquered for the Athenians ; he had suffered , on their account , peril , imprisonment , and hardship ; their gratitude affected him deeply , and he inly vowed to unite his fate for ever to that of a people so enthusiastically devoted to him .
Even now if we had courage we might be free .
This spirit existed as a breath , a wish , a far off thought , until communicated to Adrian , who imbibed it with ardour , and instantly engaged himself in plans for its execution .
I gave to each heroine of whom I read , her beauty and matchless excellences such was Antigone , when she guided the blind Oedipus to the grove of the Eumenides , and discharged the funeral rites of Polynices ; such was Miranda in the unvisited cave of Prospero ; such Haidee , on the sands of the Ionian island .
I then moved forward , and a murmuring sound arose from the crowd as they followed and surrounded me , when an ill looking man approaching tapped me on the shoulder and said , `` Come , sir , you must follow me to Mr. Kirwin 's to give an account of yourself . ''
The few jewels they had saved , supported them awhile .
Then on his word and will depended my own happiness the fate of all dear to me .
Again her name was syllabled , and she shuddered as she asked herself , am I becoming mad , or am I dying , that I hear the voices of the departed ?
The sight of her , in her present situation , passed like an arrow into his soul .
This expectation will now be the consolation of your father .
`` Do you not know , my friends , '' I said , `` that the Earl himself , now Lord Protector , visits daily , not only those probably infected by this disease , but the hospitals and pest houses , going near , and even touching the sick ?
She seemed to be full of something to which she could not give words ; but , seizing an opportunity afforded by Perdita 's absence , she preferred to me an earnest prayer , that I would take her within view of the gate at which her father had entered Constantinople .
Can I see George ? '' `` See him , '' cried the woman , `` yes , if you go to him ; last night he was taken with the plague , and we sent him to the hospital . ''
In solitude , and through many wanderings afar from the haunts of men , he matured his views for the reform of the English government , and the improvement of the people .
If we went to Italy , to sacred and eternal Rome , we might with greater patience submit to the decree , which had laid her mighty towers low .
I met troops of horses , herds of cattle , flocks of sheep , wandering at will ; here throwing down a hay rick , and nestling from cold in its heart , which afforded them shelter and food there having taken possession of a vacant cottage .
But that can not be ; the human senses are insurmountable barriers to our union .
The mountains of Switzerland are more majestic and strange , but there is a charm in the banks of this divine river that I never before saw equalled .
Persecuted and tortured as I am and have been , can death be any evil to me ? '' `` Nothing indeed could be more unfortunate and agonizing than the strange chances that have lately occurred .
I have devoted my creator , the select specimen of all that is worthy of love and admiration among men , to misery ; I have pursued him even to that irremediable ruin .
The nature of Perdita was less perfect ; but tenderness and happiness improved her temper , and softened her natural reserve .
I tried to soothe her ; I bade her hope ; I asked what tremendous consequences would ensue even on our failure .
The mind of Raymond was not so rough cast , nor had been so rudely handled , in the circumstance of life , as to make him proof to these considerations on the contrary , he was all nerve ; his spirit was as a pure fire , which fades and shrinks from every contagion of foul atmosphere : but now the contagion had become incorporated with its essence , and the change was the more painful .
But pardon me , I entreat you and listen to me : do not turn away from me ; do not be impatient ; you may easily intimidate me into silence , but my heart is bursting , nor can I willingly consent to endure for one moment longer the agony of uncertitude which for the last four months has been my portion .
Clara often accompanied him in these excursions ; partly that she might see her parents , partly because Adrian delighted in the prattle , and intelligent looks of this lovely child .
The porter opened the gates of the court , which had that night been my asylum , and I issued into the streets , pacing them with quick steps , as if I sought to avoid the wretch whom I feared every turning of the street would present to my view .
My mother 's tender caresses and my father 's smile of benevolent pleasure while regarding me are my first recollections .
I sought the hills ; a west wind swept them , and the stars glittered above .
But no care could re animate her , no medicine cause her dear eyes to open , and the blood to flow again from her pulseless heart .
Alas ye were the last of happiness that I ever enjoyed ; a few , a very few weeks and all was destroyed .
Windsor is not my home ; my true home I have found ; the home that the Creator has prepared for me . ''
Do your duty towards me , and I will do mine towards you and the rest of mankind .
London , which had extended so far in suburbs in all direction , had been somewhat deserted in the midst , and much of what had in former days obscured this vast building was removed .
Even as she spoke I drew near to her , as if in terror , lest at that very moment the destroyer had been near to rob me of her .
Even broken in spirit as he is , no one can feel more deeply than he does the beauties of nature .
I shall not pause in my exertions until that time ; but , if plague revives with the coming year , all contest with her must cease , and our only occupation be the choice of a grave . ''
We are said to love much those whom we greatly benefit .
Erringly and strangely she began the task of self examination with self condemnation .
On her deathbed the fortitude and benignity of this best of women did not desert her .
She longed to bid me hasten my return ; a thousand conflicting emotions rendered her mute as she bade me a tearful , silent farewell .
Now , at this evening hour , at the period of repose and refection , methinks all hearts breathe one hymn of love and thanksgiving , and we , like priests of old on the mountain tops , give a voice to their sentiment .
It had been displayed early in life , leading her out to solitary musing among her native mountains , causing her to form innumerous combinations from common objects , giving strength to her perceptions , and swiftness to their arrangement .
I have detailed the perfections of my sister ; and yet she was utterly unlike Idris .
Her passions had subdued her appetites , even her natural wants ; she slept little , and hardly ate at all ; her body was evidently considered by her as a mere machine , whose health was necessary for the accomplishment of her schemes , but whose senses formed no part of her enjoyment .
What are your plans , my Lord Protector , for the benefit of our country ? ''
Are you a coward , Woodville ?
I do not say that if his own desires had been put in competition with those of others that he would have displayed undue selfishness , but this trial was never made .
Soon our poor nurse expired ; and the anguish of suspense was changed to deep regret , which though at first more painful , yet yielded with greater readiness to my consolations .
`` If she is , God forbid that she should suffer as guilty .
A man would make but a very sorry chemist if he attended to that department of human knowledge alone .
`` Food , however , became scarce , and I often spent the whole day searching in vain for a few acorns to assuage the pangs of hunger .
Before , she had been visited by pangs of fear now , she never enjoyed an interval of hope .
Encourage the people by your presence .
Once a writing of his fell into Perdita 's hands ; it was blotted with tears well might any blot it with the like `` Life '' it began thus `` is not the thing romance writers describe it ; going through the measures of a dance , and after various evolutions arriving at a conclusion , when the dancers may sit down and repose .
She seated herself then on the same ottoman where I had left her in the morning resting on the beating heart of her Raymond ; I dared not approach her , but sat at a distant corner , watching her starting and nervous gestures .
We had entered the Castle .
I earned that ; I deserved it .
He held out his hand with almost a bashful air .
I then went to Idris , contriving in my way , plausible excuses for remaining all day in the Castle , and endeavouring to disperse the traces of care from my brow .
But through the whole period during which I was the slave of my creature I allowed myself to be governed by the impulses of the moment ; and my present sensations strongly intimated that the fiend would follow me and exempt my family from the danger of his machinations .
He is now much recovered from his illness and is continually on the deck , apparently watching for the sledge that preceded his own .
The mere presence of the idea was an irresistible proof of the fact .
I reproached myself bitterly for what I called a culpable weakness ; but this weakness returned upon me whenever the critical moment approached , and I never found courage to depart .
This promise drew from me the warmest thanks .
She thanked him in the most ardent terms for his intended services towards her parent , and at the same time she gently deplored her own fate .
His rank his least merit , do you say ?
For many days Adrian and Idris continued to visit me thus .
As it was , trembling , cold , and pale , she sought Raymond .
`` Pardon me , '' he replied , `` if I have offended .
All this appeared to me , I own , methodized madness .
Would they refuse him ?
`` Farewell I leave you , and in you the last of humankind whom these eyes will ever behold .
Yet I fear such will be my fate ; the men , unsupported by ideas of glory and honour , can never willingly continue to endure their present hardships .
When Raymond offered to clear her reputation , and demonstrate to the world her real patriotism , she declared that it was only through her present sufferings that she hoped for any relief to the stings of conscience ; that , in her state of mind , diseased as he might think it , the necessity of occupation was salutary medicine ; she ended by extorting a promise that for the space of one month he would refrain from the discussion of her interests , engaging after that time to yield in part to his wishes .
Idris , you will not act the traitor towards me ? '' `` Trust me , '' replied she , `` I will preserve a strict neutrality . ''
You came the embodied image of my fondest dreams .
Years hence we shall recount to them our fears , then passed away with their occasion .
Perdita smiled faintly her guest left her ; the carriage rolling down the street assured the final departure .
We were fatigued by our struggles to attain this point , and seated ourselves on the rocky couch , while the sounds of tinkling sheep bells , and shout of shepherd boy , reached us from above .
Nobly and greatly , he said , had the illustrious and last sovereign of England sacrificed himself to the apparent good of his country , and divested himself of a power which could only be maintained by the blood of his subjects these subjects named so no more , these , his friends and equals , had in gratitude conferred certain favours and distinctions on him and his family for ever .
`` Oh , it is not thus not thus , '' interrupted the being .
The curtain drew up , and the stage presented the scene of the witches ' cave .
My mule was brought to the door , and I resolved to ascend to the summit of Montanvert .
so did he spring up from listlessness and unproductive thought , to the highest pitch of virtuous action .
She thought of the treasure she possessed in the affections of her lord ; of his accomplishments , surpassing those of his contemporaries , his genius , his devotion to her .
To suspect evil , to perceive that , Alfred being with us , the danger must regard her youngest darling , to fly across the long chambers into his apartment , was the work but of a moment .
And whether it were to visit beautiful scenery , or to see fine pictures , or sometimes for no object but to seek amusement as it might chance to arise , I was always happy when near my father .
The dazzling sun and glare of daylight , deprived the scene of solemnity ; from Evadne 's low tomb , I joined Raymond and his staff , now on their way to the Golden City .
A little patience , and all will be over ; aye , a very little patience ; for , look , there is the key of our prison ; we hold it in our own hands , and are we more debased than slaves to cast it away and give ourselves up to voluntary bondage ?
Adrian 's chief endeavour , after the immediate succour of the sick , had been to disguise the symptoms and progress of the plague from the inhabitants of London .
She appeared of a different stock .
I should there find solitude where I might weep , and the voices of life might never reach me .
Despondency rarely visited my heart ; a high destiny seemed to bear me on , until I fell , never , never again to rise . ''
August th , You have read this strange and terrific story , Margaret ; and do you not feel your blood congeal with horror , like that which even now curdles mine ?
Tell me , however , in what way he passes his time ; what he is doing and thinking in his cottage retreat ? '' `` Nay , my sweet sister , '' replied Adrian , `` you ask me more than I can well answer ; but if you feel interest in him , why not visit him ?
She seemed pleased and went into the garden for some roots and plants , which she placed in water , and then upon the fire .
It were useless to record the debate that followed this harangue .
Gasping , not daring to name our hopes , yet full even to the brim with intense expectation , we stood , as a ship wrecked sailor stands on a barren rock islanded by the ocean , watching a distant vessel , fancying that now it nears , and then again that it is bearing from sight .
Although more than sixteen years had passed since her death nothing had been changed ; her work box , her writing desk were still there and in her room a book lay open on the table as she had left it .
His soul seemed to distil itself into the words he wrote ; and they breathed on the paper , bearing with them a portion of the life of love , which was his life .
I bent over her and placed the portrait securely in one of the folds of her dress .
On this occasion , my sister was not alone ; nor could I fail to recognise her companion : it was Idris , the till now unseen object of my mad idolatry .
I brought Rosalind and Miranda and the lady of Comus to life to be my companions , or on my isle acted over their parts imagining myself to be in their situations .
She was uncomplaining ; but the very soul of fear had taken its seat in her heart .
But I am about to die nay , interrupt me not soon I shall die .
And the remembrance fills your heart sometimes with bitter despair when otherwise your feelings would have melted into soft sorrow .
She made it her task to attend the sick , comfort the sorrowing , assist the aged , and partake the sports and awaken the gaiety of the young .
I would have prevented this ; my death would be a small evil or rather I should not die ; while you can not hope to escape . ''
He hurried in , and witnessed the termination of my impassioned harangue .
After passing some months in London , we received a letter from a person in Scotland who had formerly been our visitor at Geneva .
The young girl was occupied in arranging the cottage ; but presently she took something out of a drawer , which employed her hands , and she sat down beside the old man , who , taking up an instrument , began to play and to produce sounds sweeter than the voice of the thrush or the nightingale .
Must he tax the landed interest to assist our commercial population ?
A bubbling spring prattles over stones on one side , and a plantation of a few elms and beeches , hardly deserve , and yet continue the name of wood .
In the meantime he told me that my friend had certainly not many hours to live .
One man 's life or death were but a small price to pay for the acquirement of the knowledge which I sought , for the dominion I should acquire and transmit over the elemental foes of our race .
This will I do , I said .
Remember that I am thy creature ; I ought to be thy Adam , but I am rather the fallen angel , whom thou drivest from joy for no misdeed .
She pictured to herself the anguish of his solitude ; she remembered with what eager delight he had in former days made her the partner of his joyful hopes with what grateful affection he received her sympathy in his cares .
They often , I believe , suffered the pangs of hunger very poignantly , especially the two younger cottagers , for several times they placed food before the old man when they reserved none for themselves .
But the task imposed on Perdita was not the less painful .
I started up and resolved to return to Geneva with all possible speed .
Do not you desert me in the hour of trial ' `` 'Great God ' exclaimed the old man .
Let him send me this regiment .
He had endeavoured to persuade his father to permit him to accompany me and to become my fellow student , but in vain .
We feared the coming summer .
Ever since my recovery from the fever I had been in the custom of taking every night a small quantity of laudanum , for it was by means of this drug only that I was enabled to gain the rest necessary for the preservation of life .
His connection with Adrian and Perdita was never mentioned ; he was to her a meteor , a companionless star , which at its appointed hour rose in her hemisphere , whose appearance brought felicity , and which , although it set , was never eclipsed .
I planned the whole scene with an earnest heart and franticly set my soul on this project .
I was firmly convinced in my own mind that Justine , and indeed every human being , was guiltless of this murder .
He compared the royal and republican spirit ; shewed how the one tended to enslave the minds of men ; while all the institutions of the other served to raise even the meanest among us to something great and good .
When I stood on my native hills , and saw plain and mountain stretch out to the utmost limits of my vision , speckled by the dwellings of my countrymen , and subdued to fertility by their labours , the earth 's very centre was fixed for me in that spot , and the rest of her orb was as a fable , to have forgotten which would have cost neither my imagination nor understanding an effort .
I wait in quiet expectation for the closing hours of a life which has been to me most sweet bitter .
You may deem me romantic , my dear sister , but I bitterly feel the want of a friend .
Sometimes she felt proud that he had preferred her to the hopes of a crown .
You grieve because you are unhappy ; it is happiness you seek but you despair of obtaining it .
I shuddered ; I dared not die even though the cold grave held all I loved ; although I might say with Job Where is now my hope ?
More miserable than man ever was before , why did I not sink into forgetfulness and rest ?
She found a peasant and his wife , hard working , bent down by care and labour , distributing a scanty meal to five hungry babes .
He must aim no more at the dear object of his ambition ; throwing his arms aside , he must for present ends give up the ultimate object of his endeavours .
His voice seemed suffocated , and my first impulses , which had suggested to me the duty of obeying the dying request of my friend in destroying his enemy , were now suspended by a mixture of curiosity and compassion .
She heard that we were bound for Greece , that she would see her father , and now , for the first time , she prattled of him to her mother .
But to lose all to lose with life and love , glory also It shall not be `` I , and in a few brief years , all you , this panic struck army , and all the population of fair Greece , will no longer be .
My soul was in tumults ; I traversed the streets with eager rapidity .
The misfortunes of Woodville were not of the hearts core like mine ; his was a natural grief , not to destroy but to purify the heart and from which he might , when its shadow had passed from over him , shine forth brighter and happier than before .
Oh that I had words to express the luxury of death that I might win you .
It rang on my ears long and heavily ; the mountains re echoed it , and I felt as if all hell surrounded me with mockery and laughter .
We , descendants from the one and the other , must be enemies also .
He was glorious from his youth .
When they parted for the night , the Countess said , `` To morrow I trust your tone will be changed : be composed ; I have agitated you ; go to rest ; and I will send you a medicine I always take when unduly restless it will give you a quiet night . ''
Do I fear , that my heart palpitates ?
Either watching the crowd in the park , or occupied by painful reflection , we were all silent ; Ryland stood by himself in an embrasure of the window ; Adrian paced the hall , revolving some new and overpowering idea suddenly he stopped and said : `` I have long expected this ; could we in reason expect that this island should be exempt from the universal visitation ?
You will not do this , I know you will not .
Everything was silent except the leaves of the trees , which were gently agitated by the wind ; the night was nearly dark , and the scene would have been solemn and affecting even to an uninterested observer .
I am glad Woodville is not with me for perhaps he would grieve , and I desire to see smiles alone during the last scene of my life ; when I last wrote to him I told him of my ill health but not of its mortal tendency , lest he should conceive it to be his duty to come to me for I fear lest the tears of friendship should destroy the blessed calm of my mind .
They were men and women , the sufferers , before they were Mahometans , and when they rise turbanless from the grave , in what except their good or evil actions will they be the better or worse than we ?
Yet such is human nature , that the excitement of mind was dear to me , and that the imagination , painter of tempest and earthquake , or , worse , the stormy and ruin fraught passions of man , softened my real sorrows and endless regrets , by clothing these fictitious ones in that ideality , which takes the mortal sting from pain .
In the same way , individuals may escape ninety nine times , and receive the death blow at the hundredth ; because bodies are sometimes in a state to reject the infection of malady , and at others , thirsty to imbibe it .
I was bound by a solemn promise which I had not yet fulfilled and dared not break , or if I did , what manifold miseries might not impend over me and my devoted family Could I enter into a festival with this deadly weight yet hanging round my neck and bowing me to the ground ?
Sometimes I endeavoured to gain from Frankenstein the particulars of his creature 's formation , but on this point he was impenetrable .
`` Ay , all proceeds and changes : what wonder then , that love has journied on to its setting , and that the lord of my life has changed ?
My sister was three years younger than myself ; I had nursed her as an infant , and when the difference of our sexes , by giving us various occupations , in a great measure divided us , yet she continued to be the object of my careful love .
We all stood equal sharers of the last throes of time worn nature .
Shakespeare 's Sonnets .
Uttering a few sounds with an air of melancholy , he took the pail from her head and bore it to the cottage himself .
An unwieldy ox , who had fed in an abandoned granary , suddenly lowed , and shewed his shapeless form in a narrow door way ; every thing was desert ; but nothing was in ruin .
He became the darling hero of this rising people .
Sometimes my lawless mood would return , my love of peril , my resistance to authority ; but this was in his absence ; under the mild sway of his dear eyes , I was obedient and good as a boy of five years old , who does his mother 's bidding .
The plot of Felix was quickly discovered , and De Lacey and Agatha were thrown into prison .
I saw no cause for their unhappiness , but I was deeply affected by it .
I passed by a group of these terrorists , in a lane in the direct road to the hut .
Let the cursed and hellish monster drink deep of agony ; let him feel the despair that now torments me . ''
We could not fear we did not .
He related his history brief in happiness and woe and dwelt with passion on his and Elinor 's mutual love .
Several of the Etonians had these characteristics ; all were distinguished by a sense of honour , and spirit of enterprize ; in some , as they verged towards manhood , this degenerated into presumption ; but the younger ones , lads a little older than our own , were conspicuous for their gallant and sweet dispositions .
What wonder then , that her feelings were wrought to this pitch I thus accounted to myself for her agitation ; but this was not all , and the sequel revealed another excuse .
I pressed his shoulder to awaken his attention , but he did not alter his position .
As soon as the health of Raymond was sufficiently re established , he prepared to join the Grecian camp , hear Kishan , a town of some importance , situated to the east of the Hebrus ; in which Perdita and Clara were to remain until the event of the expected battle .
I strove to rise , but my heavy lids closed , my limbs over wearied , claimed repose I rested my head on the stone , I yielded to the grateful sensation of utter forgetfulness ; and in that scene of desolation , on that night of despair I slept .
Oh no I will become wise I will study my own heart and there discovering as I may the spring of the virtues I possess I will teach others how to look for them in their own souls I will find whence arrises this unquenshable love of beauty I possess that seems the ruling star of my life I will learn how I may direct it aright and by what loving I may become more like that beauty which I adore And when I have traced the steps of the godlike feeling which ennobles me makes me that which I esteem myself to be then I will teach others if I gain but one proselyte if I can teach but one other mind what is the beauty which they ought to love and what is the sympathy to which they ought to aspire what is the true end of their being which must be the true end of that of all men then shall I be satisfied think I have done enough Farewell doubts painful meditation of evil the great , ever inexplicable cause of all that we see I am content to be ignorant of all this happy that not resting my mind on any unstable theories I have come to the conclusion that of the great secret of the universe I can know nothing There is a veil before it my eyes are not piercing enough to see through it my arms not long enough to reach it to withdraw it I will study the end of my being oh thou universal love inspire me oh thou beauty which I see glowing around me lift me to a fit understanding of thee Such was the conclusion of my long wanderings I sought the end of my being I found it to be knowledge of itself Nor think this a confined study Not only did it lead me to search the mazes of the human soul but I found that there existed nought on earth which contained not a part of that universal beauty with which it was my aim object to become acquainted the motions of the stars of heaven the study of all that philosophers have unfolded of wondrous in nature became as it where sic the steps by which my soul rose to the full contemplation enjoyment of the beautiful Oh ye who have just escaped from the world ye know not what fountains of love will be opened in your hearts or what exquisite delight your minds will receive when the secrets of the world will be unfolded to you and ye shall become acquainted with the beauty of the universe Your souls now growing eager for the acquirement of knowledge will then rest in its possession disengaged from every particle of evil and knowing all things ye will as it were be mingled in the universe ye will become a part of that celestial beauty that you admire Diotima ceased and a profound silence ensued the youth with his cheeks flushed and his eyes burning with the fire communicated from hers still fixed them on her face which was lifted to heaven as in inspiration The lovely female bent hers to the ground after a deep sigh was the first to break the silence Oh divinest prophetess , said she how new to me how strange are your lessons If such be the end of our being how wayward a course did I pursue on earth Diotima you know not how torn affections misery incalculable misery withers up the soul .
Yet one duty remained to me , the recollection of which finally triumphed over my selfish despair .
At length our tranquillity was disturbed , and the course of events , which for five years had flowed on in hushing tranquillity , was broken by breakers and obstacles , that woke us from our pleasant dream .
At length Raymond suffered him to depart .
My privacy invaded , my actions censured , my friends insulted ?
Her power , which was linked to few of the enduring emotions of his heart , had greatly decayed .
The smile of triumph shone on his countenance ; determined to pursue his object to the uttermost , his manner and expression seem ominous of the accomplishment of his wishes .
Shakspeare 's Sonnets .
Yet sorrow only slept to revive more fierce , but love never woke again its ghost , ever hovering over my father 's grave , alone survived since his death all the world was to me a blank except where woe had stampt its burning words telling me to smile no more the living were not fit companions for me , and I was ever meditating by what means I might shake them all off , and never be heard of again .
His foreign birth , and he refused to throw off his allegiance to his native country , alone prevented him from filling the first offices in the state .
Early in the morning the whole army was in motion .
Elizabeth read my anguish in my countenance , and kindly taking my hand , said , `` My dearest friend , you must calm yourself .
Be it so ; drag me away I return ; confine me , imprison me , still I escape , and come here .
The soldiers answered his cheerful words with aghast and awe struck looks ; instinctively they drew back , and Raymond rode in the front of the lines : `` By my sword I swear , '' he cried , `` that no ambush or stratagem endangers you .
I know not how to express or communicate the sense of concentrated , intense , though evanescent transport , that imparadized us in the present hour .
I often desired his entire absence ; for I found that I was grown out of the ways of life and that by long seclusion , although I could support my accustomed grief , and drink the bitter daily draught with some degree of patience , yet I had become unfit for the slightest novelty of feeling .
I passed a night of unmingled wretchedness .
The pretty Miss Mansfield has already received the congratulatory visits on her approaching marriage with a young Englishman , John Melbourne , Esq .
`` This is kind , '' she cried ; `` this is noble , my own beloved O fear not disgrace or lowly fortune , while you have your Perdita ; fear not sorrow , while our child lives and smiles .
Each word was drawn out with difficulty ; real anguish painted his features ; his eyes were now lifted in sudden horror , now fixed in dread upon the ground .
I shall satiate my ardent curiosity with the sight of a part of the world never before visited , and may tread a land never before imprinted by the foot of man .
Such an one was near , hovering round this house .
`` Adrian , I am about to return to Greece , to become again a soldier , perhaps a conqueror .
He was soon borne away by the waves and lost in darkness and distance .
From the time that he had quitted London , on the fatal night of his defeat at the gaming table , the king had received no tidings concerning him ; and when , after the lapse of years , he exerted himself to discover him , every trace was lost .
How miraculous did this appear The huts , the neater cottages , and stately houses engaged my admiration by turns .
Deep sorrow must have been the inmate of our bosoms ; fraud must have lain in wait for us ; the artful must have deceived us ; sickening doubt and false hope must have chequered our days ; hilarity and joy , that lap the soul in ecstasy , must at times have possessed us .
I thought you knew me better . ''
There was neither submission , patience , nor self abandonment in her grief ; she fought with it , struggled beneath it , and rendered every pang more sharp by resistance .
A flash of lightning illuminated the object , and discovered its shape plainly to me ; its gigantic stature , and the deformity of its aspect more hideous than belongs to humanity , instantly informed me that it was the wretch , the filthy daemon , to whom I had given life .
Even the sailors feel the power of his eloquence ; when he speaks , they no longer despair ; he rouses their energies , and while they hear his voice they believe these vast mountains of ice are mole hills which will vanish before the resolutions of man .
The theatres were kept open ; every place of public resort was frequented ; though he endeavoured so to modify them , as might best quiet the agitation of the spectators , and at the same time prevent a reaction of misery when the excitement was over .
Love , and her child , Hope , which can bestow wealth on poverty , strength on the weak , and happiness on the sorrowing .
He came each day to her abode of penury , and his presence transformed it to a temple redolent with sweets , radiant with heaven 's own light ; he partook of her delirium .
By slow degrees however we were drawn to the real interest of the scene .
`` As the sun became warmer and the light of day longer , the snow vanished , and I beheld the bare trees and the black earth .
But supposing all these conjectures to be false , you can not contest the inestimable benefit which I shall confer on all mankind , to the last generation , by discovering a passage near the pole to those countries , to reach which at present so many months are requisite ; or by ascertaining the secret of the magnet , which , if at all possible , can only be effected by an undertaking such as mine .
When reason returned , she would remonstrate and endeavour to inspire me with resignation .
The balloon rose about half a mile from the earth , and with a favourable wind it hurried through the air , its feathered vans cleaving the unopposing atmosphere .
The old man appeared enraptured and said some words which Agatha endeavoured to explain to Safie , and by which he appeared to wish to express that she bestowed on him the greatest delight by her music .
So day by day I become weaker , and life flickers in my wasting form , as a lamp about to loose it vivifying oil .
The order I had received , was to make an observation of the direction which a detachment of the enemy might have taken , from a northern tumulus ; the whole Turkish army , followed by the Greek , had poured eastward ; none but the dead remained in the direction of my side .
He made few remarks , till , on observing through his glass the sequel of an order he had given , his face , clouded for awhile with doubt , became radiant .
`` Very well , and very happy , only a little uneasy that they hear from you so seldom .
When I am addressed , her name is the sound I expect : in every communication , I imagine that she will form a part .
It is indeed a tale so strange that I should fear you would not credit it were there not something in truth which , however wonderful , forces conviction .
`` When she had finished , she gave the guitar to Agatha , who at first declined it .
There was no Adrian to superintend and direct , while whole flocks of the poor were struck and killed .
`` This trait of kindness moved me sensibly .
Deprived of this respite , I should have sunk under my hardships .
But my pleasures arose from the contemplation of nature alone , I had no companion : my warm affections finding no return from any other human heart were forced to run waste on inanimate objects .
`` Dearest niece , '' said my father , `` dry your tears .
I was scarcely hid when a young girl came running towards the spot where I was concealed , laughing , as if she ran from someone in sport .
I saw how the fine form of man was degraded and wasted ; I beheld the corruption of death succeed to the blooming cheek of life ; I saw how the worm inherited the wonders of the eye and brain .
Yet , as he thus determined , fancy conjured up the miserable abode of the Greek girl .
What had been the study and desire of the wisest men since the creation of the world was now within my grasp .
He was somewhat surprised ; he would see , he said , what could be done ; but it required time ; and Raymond had ordered me to return by noon .
I wept as I listened to him ; and after we had taken an affectionate farewell , I followed him far with my eyes until they saw the last of my earthly comforter .
`` The words induced me to turn towards myself .
My thoughts were sad and solemn , yet not of unmingled pain .
Let us live for each other and for happiness ; let us seek peace in our dear home , near the inland murmur of streams , and the gracious waving of trees , the beauteous vesture of earth , and sublime pageantry of the skies .
No , we will have a Protector of our own .
The crew , many of whom had never seen the sea before , felt indeed as if heaven and earth came ruining together , as the vessel dipped her bows in the waves , or rose high upon them .
This intelligence brought us back from the prospect of paradise , held out after the lapse of an hundred thousand years , to the pain and misery at present existent upon earth .
The fashions of the world , its exigencies , educations and pursuits , are winds to drive our wills , like clouds all one way ; but let a thunderstorm arise in the shape of love , hate , or ambition , and the rack goes backward , stemming the opposing air in triumph . ''
We returned together to the palace .
I have no right to play with his feelings , to accept his proffered love , and then sting him with neglect . ''
He was first struck by the space of time that had elapsed , since madness , rather than any reasonable impulse , had regulated his actions .
The younger part gathered round me to ask my advice ; and those who had friends in London were anxious beyond the rest , to ascertain the present extent of disease in the metropolis .
The uprising of the star of day was hailed by triumphant strains , while the birds , heard by snatches , filled up the intervals of the music .
It would be needless to narrate those disastrous occurrences , for which a parallel might be found in any slighter visitation of our gigantic calamity .
I foresee that the plan which you mark out in your letter will not endure long ; but you are mistress of yourself , and it is my sincere wish to contribute as far as you will permit me to your happiness . ''
At length they began to interfere with the inhabitants , and strong in their concentrated numbers , ejected the natives from their dwellings , and robbed them of their winter store .
He sprang from the cabin window as he said this , upon the ice raft which lay close to the vessel .
The poor little thing 's fever encreased towards night .
I have lost my hopes of utility and glory ; I have lost my friend .
It had been her care which provided me a companion in Clerval and yet a man is blind to a thousand minute circumstances which call forth a woman 's sedulous attention .
Chapter When I had attained the age of seventeen my parents resolved that I should become a student at the university of Ingolstadt .
When we quitted Macedonia , the fertile but low plains of Thrace afforded fewer beauties ; yet our journey continued to be interesting .
All that I possessed of the luxuries of life came from him .
I heard of the division of property , of immense wealth and squalid poverty , of rank , descent , and noble blood .
I paused , examining and analysing all the minutiae of causation , as exemplified in the change from life to death , and death to life , until from the midst of this darkness a sudden light broke in upon me a light so brilliant and wondrous , yet so simple , that while I became dizzy with the immensity of the prospect which it illustrated , I was surprised that among so many men of genius who had directed their inquiries towards the same science , that I alone should be reserved to discover so astonishing a secret .
I tried to conceal this as much as possible , that I might not debar him from the pleasures natural to one who was entering on a new scene of life , undisturbed by any care or bitter recollection .
I expressed these feelings in my answer .
Among them the Greek army was encamped , and their squadrons moved to and fro now in regular march , now in swift career .
Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change .
This also was refused .
The father of their charge was one of those Italians nursed in the memory of the antique glory of Italy one among the schiavi ognor frementi , who exerted himself to obtain the liberty of his country .
He remained to combat the fiend his side unguarded , his toils unshared infection might even reach him , and he die unattended and alone .
In the morning , on her return , my servant found me almost lifeless , while possessed by a high fever I was lying on the floor of my room .
The favoured countries of the south will throw off the iron yoke of servitude ; poverty will quit us , and with that , sickness .
`` While I was overcome by these feelings , I left the spot where I had committed the murder , and seeking a more secluded hiding place , I entered a barn which had appeared to me to be empty .
First I must seek Adrian , and restore him to her .
One of my first acts for the recovery even of my own composure , was to bid farewell to the sea .
Women whose delicate feet had seldom touched the earth in their luxury , had fled in fright and horror from their homes , till , losing themselves in the squalid streets of the metropolis , they had died on the threshold of poverty .
Raymond strode angrily up and down the room .
This speech troubled me .
My friends , for Verney , I feel that you are my friend , do not endeavour to shake my resolve .
Never , Idris related , did the angry lady deign to recur to gentleness and persuasion ; if she had , the task of resistance would have been exquisitely painful .
We shall make our bed of dried leaves ; the sun will shine on us as on man and will ripen our food .
Often at sunset , I have walked with her , in the sober , enshadowed forest paths , and listened with joyful sympathy .
Her understanding was clear and comprehensive , her imagination vivid ; she was sincere , generous , and reasonable .
Our joys were dearer because we saw their end ; they were keener because we felt , to its fullest extent , their value ; they were purer because their essence was sympathy as a meteor is brighter than a star , did the felicity of this winter contain in itself the extracted delights of a long , long life .
But success SHALL crown my endeavours .
I associated with others friendless like myself ; I formed them into a band , I was their chief and captain .
He had gone in the carriage to the nearest town where he took a post chaise and horses with orders for the London road .
I was hardly more devoted to my Idris than to her brother , and she loved him as her teacher , her friend , the benefactor who had secured to her the fulfilment of her dearest wishes .
And then I wept ; yes , warm tears once more struggled into my eyes soothing yet bitter ; and after I had wept much and called with unavailing anguish , with outstretched arms , for my cruel father ; after my weak frame was exhausted by all variety of plaint I sank once more into reverie , and once more reflected on how I might find that which I most desired ; dear to me if aught were dear , a death like solitude .
They fled they knew not whither ; and the citizens were filled with greater dread , at the convulsion which `` shook lions into civil streets ; '' birds , strong winged eagles , suddenly blinded , fell in the market places , while owls and bats shewed themselves welcoming the early night .
Better to decay in absolute delirium , than to be the victim of the methodical unreason of ill bestowed love .
At the close of a day 's march over high mountains and through snowy vallies , we may come upon health , and committing our loved ones to its charge , replant the uprooted tree of humanity , and send to late posterity the tale of the ante pestilential race , the heroes and sages of the lost state of things .
I was obliged to leave London , and Adrian undertook to watch over him ; the task was soon fulfilled ; age , grief , and inclement weather , all united to hush his sorrows , and bring repose to his heart , whose beats were agony .
I looked on the regal towers of Windsor .
What may not the forces , never before united , of liberty and peace achieve in this dwelling of man ? '' `` Dreaming , for ever dreaming , Windsor '' said Ryland , the old adversary of Raymond , and candidate for the Protectorate at the ensuing election .
`` Nay , '' said Perdita , `` that task shall be mine .
The prospect of such an occupation made every other circumstance of existence pass before me like a dream , and that thought only had to me the reality of life .
Day after day passed marked only by my complaints and my tears ; often I lifted my soul in vain prayer for a softer descent from joy to woe , or if that were denied me that I might be allowed to die , and fade for ever under the cruel blast that swept over me , for what should I do here , Like a decaying flower , still withering Under his bitter words , whose kindly heat Should give my poor heart life ? C Sometimes I said to myself , this is an enchantment , and I must strive against it .
Such is the will of fate Such the decree of the High Ruler from whom there is no appeal : to whom I submit .
If infection depended upon the air , the air was subject to infection .
Its fair lakes reflect a blue and gentle sky , and when troubled by the winds , their tumult is but as the play of a lively infant when compared to the roarings of the giant ocean .
He is wronged , betrayed , imprisoned save him Verney , you must do this ; seek him out in whatever part of the island he is immured ; find him , rescue him from his persecutors , restore him to himself , to me on the wide earth I have none to love but only him '' Her earnest appeal , so sweetly and passionately expressed , filled me with wonder and sympathy ; and , when she added , with thrilling voice and look , `` Do you consent to undertake this enterprize ? ''
I was , I own , often tempted to recur to the lawless feats of my boy hood , and knock down the almost tame pheasants that perched upon the trees , and bent their bright eyes on me .
Then , overcome by fatigue , I lay down among some straw and fell asleep .
The visionary Perdita beheld in all this only a new gloss upon an old reading , and her own was sufficiently inexhaustible to content her .
Idris now for the first time for many years saw her mother , anxious to assure herself that the childishness of old age did not mingle with unforgotten pride , to make this high born dame still so inveterate against me .
But it would not be so ; young and blooming as they were , they would die , and from the hopes of maturity , from the proud name of attained manhood , they were cut off for ever .
This reflection unwrinkled my brow , and I could feel and I wept to feel it a half melancholy smile draw from my lips their expression of suffering : I dared indulge better hopes for my future life ; years must pass but they would speed lightly away winged by hope , or if they passed heavily , still they would pass and I had not lost my father for ever .
`` My best girl , '' he had said , `` relieves me from these phantasies .
The English spirit awoke to its full activity , and , as it had ever done , set itself to resist the evil , and to stand in the breach which diseased nature had suffered chaos and death to make in the bounds and banks which had hitherto kept them out .
In the unsteady glance of his eye , in his extreme desire to learn the opinions of all , in the feebleness of his hand writing , these qualities might be obscurely traced , but they were not generally known .
I was mad with excess of passionate devotion ; but pride , tameless as fire , invested my nature , and prevented me from betraying myself by word or look .
The Americans permitted a few to join their band , and presently the recruits outnumbered the strangers nor did they join with them , nor imitate the admirable order which , preserved by the Trans Atlantic chiefs , rendered them at once secure and formidable .
We could not tear ourselves away from each other nor persuade ourselves to say the word `` Farewell '' It was said , and we retired under the pretence of seeking repose , each fancying that the other was deceived ; but when at morning 's dawn I descended to the carriage which was to convey me away , they were all there my father again to bless me , Clerval to press my hand once more , my Elizabeth to renew her entreaties that I would write often and to bestow the last feminine attentions on her playmate and friend .
A truce to philosophy Life is before me , and I rush into possession .
Good augury should this festival be of the happiness of future years .
I watched him long his heavy half closed lids , his burning cheeks and restless twining of his small fingers the fever was violent , the torpor complete enough , without the greater fear of pestilence , to awaken alarm .
The girl met him at the door , helped to relieve him of his burden , and taking some of the fuel into the cottage , placed it on the fire ; then she and the youth went apart into a nook of the cottage , and he showed her a large loaf and a piece of cheese .
I will not dwell on the last changes that I feel in the final decay of nature .
The sea was fifty miles off , yet it was towards it that he fled .
I was to be his consoler , his companion in after years .
Scattered and unconnected as they were , I have been obliged to add links , and model the work into a consistent form .
I love you very tenderly .
Cries of horror filled the place every one endeavoured to effect his escape in a few minutes the market place was cleared the corpse lay on the ground ; and the maniac , subdued and exhausted , sat beside it , leaning his gaunt cheek upon his thin hand .
Frankenstein discovered that I made notes concerning his history ; he asked to see them and then himself corrected and augmented them in many places , but principally in giving the life and spirit to the conversations he held with his enemy .
Love of the Greek people , appetite for glory , and hatred of the barbarian government under which he had suffered even to the approach of death , stimulated him .
I resolved , let what would befall , to see and converse with her the following day .
Yet this small interval was to save us : the sea was to rise a wall of adamant without , disease and misery within , a shelter from evil , a nook of the garden of paradise a particle of celestial soil , which no evil could invade truly we were wise in our generation , to imagine all these things But we are awake now .
Thus situated , my only resource was to drive before the wind .
About midnight I returned to the palace and sought Raymond ; he was alone , and apparently composed ; such composure , at least , was his as is inspired by a resolve to adhere to a certain line of conduct .
Poor Clerval What must have been his feelings ?
How irksome were these three days to me All sleep and appetite fled from me ; I could only read and re read his letter , and in the solitude of the woods imagine the moment of our meeting .
We did not want for occupation ; but my eager disposition was now turned to the field of intellectual exertion only ; and hard study I found to be an excellent medicine to allay a fever of spirit with which in indolence , I should doubtless have been assailed .
Let him live with me in the interchange of kindness , and instead of injury I would bestow every benefit upon him with tears of gratitude at his acceptance .
I extended my ride towards Salt Hill , on every side impeded by the snow .
`` Be assured that earth is not , nor ever can be heaven , while the seeds of hell are natives of her soil .
We reached London , methought , all too soon ; and yet I could not regret our speedy arrival , when I witnessed the extasy with which my beloved girl found herself in her brother 's arms , safe from every evil , under his unblamed protection .
`` Other men , '' I observed , `` may be better musicians . ''
I would not marry a reigning sovereign , were I not sure that her heart was free .
AFTER a long interval , I am again impelled by the restless spirit within me to continue my narration ; but I must alter the mode which I have hitherto adopted .
She devoted herself to the study of her son 's disposition .
`` She arrived in safety at a town about twenty leagues from the cottage of De Lacey , when her attendant fell dangerously ill .
I knew that a thousand fearful accidents might occur , the slightest of which would disclose a tale to thrill all connected with me with horror .
I was exceedingly surprised on receiving so rude an answer from a stranger , and I was also disconcerted on perceiving the frowning and angry countenances of his companions .
Let them raise a mound above my lifeless body , which may stand even when the dome of St. Sophia has fallen .
I was placed in a remote part of the house , and only saw my aunt at stated hours .
He appeared given up to contemplation , averse to excitement , a lowly student , a man of visions but afford him worthy theme , and Like to the lark at break of day arising , From sullen earth , sings hymns at heaven 's gate .
He had partially unveiled the face of Nature , but her immortal lineaments were still a wonder and a mystery .
Your temper is made unequal by suffering , and the tenor of your mind is , I fear , sometimes shaken by unworthy causes ; but let your confidence in my sympathy and love be deeper far , and incapable of being reached by these agitations that come and go , and if they touch not your affections leave you uninjured . ''
Perdita , who then resided with Evadne , saw the torture that Adrian endured .
I do not wish to take any unfair advantage , and I beg therefore that you will take some days to consider of your determination . ' `` 'It is utterly useless , ' replied Felix ; 'we can never again inhabit your cottage .
To leave the country of our fathers , made holy by their graves We could not feel even as a voluntary exile of old , who might for pleasure or convenience forsake his native soil ; though thousands of miles might divide him , England was still a part of him , as he of her .
`` No ; he quitted the house before four this morning . ''
He did not leave me for many hours ; not until he had improved the spark that he had kindled , and with an angelic hand fostered the return of somthing that seemed like joy .
All in my heart was shadowy yet calm , untill my ideas became confused and at length died away in sleep .
`` My friends , '' I said , `` our risk is common ; our precautions and exertions shall be common also .
`` Rest '' she cried , `` repose you rave , Lionel If you delay we are lost ; come , I pray you , unless you would cast me off for ever . ''
The tender attachment that he bore me , and the love and veneration with which I returned it cast a charm over every moment .
Among the other transcendant attributes of Mozart 's music , it possesses more than any other that of appearing to come from the heart ; you enter into the passions expressed by him , and are transported with grief , joy , anger , or confusion , as he , our soul 's master , chooses to inspire .
At length his eyes unclosed faintly , yet with a look of returning life ; he became pale and weak ; but the rigidity of his features was softened by approaching convalescence .
This was superstition .
Plague shall not find us a ready prey ; we will dispute every inch of ground ; and , by methodical and inflexible laws , pile invincible barriers to the progress of our foe .
Not that this indulgence was devoid of accompanying grief .
The faint rose again blushed on his cheek ; his brow and lips lost the ashy paleness of threatened dissolution ; such was the dear reward of my unremitting attention and bounteous heaven added overflowing recompence , when it gave me also the thanks and smiles of Idris .
She had been employed in arranging for their departure ; she had promised Raymond during this decisive evening , to take advantage of our absence , to go one stage of the journey , and he , after his defeat was ascertained , would slip away from us , and join her .
Yet why do I say this ?
He remembered that he had promised Perdita to be present this very evening the th of October , anniversary of his election as Protector at a festival given in his honour .
We had receded from the crowd ; and ascending the steps of the terrace , sought the Castle .
The contents of these papers were important .
My fate has been governed by necessity , a hideous necessity .
The next evening therefore , though the autumnal change had brought on cold and rain , Adrian and Idris entered my cottage .
The shutting of the gates regularly at ten o'clock and the impossibility of remaining on the lake after that hour had rendered our residence within the walls of Geneva very irksome to me .
Her fear had been too deep , too absorbing , too entire , to be changed to security .
The completion of my demoniacal design became an insatiable passion .
They consisted of people of the middling and lower classes of society , whose means of subsistence failed with the cessation of trade , and of the busy spirit of money making in all its branches , peculiar to our country .
My feelings are profound , but I possessed a coolness of judgment that fitted me for illustrious achievements .
There was a considerable difference between the ages of my parents , but this circumstance seemed to unite them only closer in bonds of devoted affection .
My companion will be of the same nature as myself and will be content with the same fare .
I trod heaven in my thoughts , now exulting in my powers , now burning with the idea of their effects .
Everywhere I see bliss , from which I alone am irrevocably excluded .
It may be advanced for a truth , that , if argument or entreaty can turn any one from a desperate purpose , whose motive and end depends on the strength of the affections only , then it is right so to turn them , since their docility shews , that neither the motive nor the end were of sufficient force to bear them through the obstacles attendant on their undertaking .
Every breathing creature within the walls was massacred .
My heart was bleeding from its death 's wound ; I could live no otherwise Often amid apparent calm I was visited by despair and melancholy ; gloom that nought could dissipate or overcome ; a hatred of life ; a carelessness of beauty ; all these would by fits hold me nearly annihilated by their powers .
This enthusiasm is now spent , I know not why ; I seem to myself to be entering a darksome gulph ; the ardent spirit of the army is irksome to me , the rapture of triumph null . ''
I was spared the disgrace of appearing publicly as a criminal , as the case was not brought before the court that decides on life and death .
The earth , late wide circus for the display of dignified exploits , vast theatre for a magnificent drama , now presented a vacant space , an empty stage for actor or spectator there was no longer aught to say or hear .
It gave ideality to that , from which , taken in naked truth , the soul would have revolted : it bestowed pictorial colours on misery and disease , and not unfrequently relieved me from despair in deplorable changes .
Although she was elder than he by nearly two years the nature of her education made her more childish at least in the knowledge and expression of feeling ; she received his warm protestations with innocence , and returned them unknowing of what they meant .
Her faultless nature , one sum of perfections , is wrapt up in her affections if they were hurt , she would droop like an unwatered floweret , and the slightest injury they receive is a nipping frost to her .
The examination , the presence of the magistrate and witnesses , passed like a dream from my memory when I saw the lifeless form of Henry Clerval stretched before me .
So much has been done , exclaimed the soul of Frankenstein more , far more , will I achieve ; treading in the steps already marked , I will pioneer a new way , explore unknown powers , and unfold to the world the deepest mysteries of creation .
Would that I also had a career Would that I could freight some untried bark with all my hopes , energies , and desires , and launch it forth into the ocean of life bound for some attainable point , with ambition or pleasure at the helm But adverse winds detain me on shore ; like Ulysses , I sit at the water 's edge and weep .
I was still cold when under one of the trees I found a huge cloak , with which I covered myself , and sat down upon the ground .
But everteeming Nature will create another and another , and thou wilt loose nought by my destruction .
These words were syllabled trembling by the iron man .
We forgot that Malcolm and Macduff were mere human beings , acted upon by such simple passions as warmed our own breasts .
The Rubicon , I felt , was passed ; and it behoved me well to reflect what I should do on this hither side of disease and danger .
The spirit of life seemed to linger in his form , as a dying flame on an altar flickers on the embers of an accepted sacrifice .
My mother , when dying , had , in addition to her other half forgotten and misapplied lessons , committed , with solemn exhortation , her other child to my fraternal guardianship ; and this one duty I performed to the best of my ability , with all the zeal and affection of which my nature was capable .
Accordingly I hid myself in some thick underwood , determining to devote the ensuing hours to reflection on my situation .
He held up the curtain of the bed ; and his eyes , if eyes they may be called , were fixed on me .
You know not what you mean .
And now , behold , with the first imagination of danger , or , if you will , the first mighty and terrific trial of your courage , you shrink away and are content to be handed down as men who had not strength enough to endure cold and peril ; and so , poor souls , they were chilly and returned to their warm firesides .
Perdita was to become the pupil , friend and younger sister of Evadne .
`` Before I come on board your vessel , '' said he , `` will you have the kindness to inform me whither you are bound ? ''
Man 's yesterday may ne'er be like his morrow ; Nought may endure but mutability It was nearly noon when I arrived at the top of the ascent .
It seemed to me impossible that she could recognise the sound , but she persisted in her assertion till she gained credit with the crowd about .
The port holes were open , and with every sea , which as she lurched , washed her decks , they received whole tons of water .
It is true , we shall be monsters , cut off from all the world ; but on that account we shall be more attached to one another .
When first she left her peasant life , and resided with the elegant and cultivated Evadne , the only accomplishment she brought to any perfection was that of painting , for which she had a taste almost amounting to genius .
All that he now enjoyed would have been devoid of pleasure to him , had it been unparticipated .
His accent of bitter scorn thrilled me `` Do not tempt me to speak , '' he continued , `` my words would scare you in an universe of cowards I dare think among the church yard tombs among the victims of His merciless tyranny I dare reproach the Supreme Evil .
The gamekeepers were more enraged than their lord by my obstinacy .
I can ill record the flow of language and graceful turns of expression , the wit and easy raillery that gave vigour and influence to his speech .
Oh , never , never , may I see him again Tomorrow night the same roof may not cover us ; he or I must depart .
Destiny was too potent , and her immutable laws had decreed my utter and terrible destruction .
I leaned against a tree to observe them .
Perpetual fretting at length threw Madame Moritz into a decline , which at first increased her irritability , but she is now at peace for ever .
What a divine day How happy and serene all nature appears '' Thus Elizabeth endeavoured to divert her thoughts and mine from all reflection upon melancholy subjects .
Elizabeth had caught the scarlet fever ; her illness was severe , and she was in the greatest danger .
Thus would she assuredly act if her darkened eyes opened and she beheld me .
Five years gave a sober certainty to their emotions , though it did not rob them of their etherial nature .
On a dreary heath bestrewen with stones , among which short grass grew ; and here and there a few rushes beside a little pool .
Fearing to give me pain , she hid as best she could the excess of her wretchedness , but meeting thus her brother after a long absence , she could not restrain the expression of her woe , but with all the vividness of imagination with which misery is always replete , she poured out the emotions of her heart to her beloved and sympathizing Adrian .
`` I have written myself into better spirits , dear cousin ; but my anxiety returns upon me as I conclude .
Were they the same waters of love , which , lately cold and cutting as ice , repelling as that , now loosened from their frozen chains , flowed through the regions of her soul in gushing and grateful exuberance ?
These are the words that it contained .
For one brief interval before this catastrophe , he looked forward to the future , and contemplated with anguish the desolate situation in which his wife and children would be left .
Think you that the groans of Clerval were music to my ears ?
Why are there fruits , or flowers , or streams , man is not here to enjoy them ?
Several new kinds of plants sprang up in the garden , which they dressed ; and these signs of comfort increased daily as the season advanced .
I had gazed on him while unfinished ; he was ugly then , but when those muscles and joints were rendered capable of motion , it became a thing such as even Dante could not have conceived .
Then , as if pursued by an enemy , as if wings had been at her feet , she flew to her own apartment , she dismissed her attendants , she locked the doors , she threw herself wildly on the floor , she bit her lips even to blood to suppress her shrieks , and lay long a prey to the vulture of despair , striving not to think , while multitudinous ideas made a home of her heart ; and ideas , horrid as furies , cruel as vipers , and poured in with such swift succession , that they seemed to jostle and wound each other , while they worked her up to madness .
We found him just about to embark in his boat , and he readily agreed to receive us as companions .
It is not by flying , but by facing the enemy , that we can conquer .
Alas , how great was the contrast between us He was alive to every new scene , joyful when he saw the beauties of the setting sun , and more happy when he beheld it rise and recommence a new day .
Again he thought , how during this long month , he had avoided Perdita , flying from her as from the stings of his own conscience .
The opposite mountain is a bare perpendicular rock .
Ages perhaps had elapsed since this catastrophe ; and the ruin it had made above , had been repaired by the growth of vegetation during many hundred summers .
O , yes , it would Countrymen , fear not In the still uncultivated wilds of America , what wonder that among its other giant destroyers , Plague should be numbered It is of old a native of the East , sister of the tornado , the earthquake , and the simoon .
I had risen mechanically my knees trembled ; irresolution hung on my voice , as I uttered a few words on the necessity of choosing a person adequate to the dangerous task in hand .
As I turned the promontory I perceived a small neat town and a good harbour , which I entered , my heart bounding with joy at my unexpected escape .
I could now almost fancy myself among the Swiss mountains .
With regard to myself , this came almost by inheritance .
I gave several hours to the serious consideration of this difficulty , but I was obliged to relinquish all attempt to supply it , and wrapping myself up in my cloak , I struck across the wood towards the setting sun .
No man can tell there is no refuge on earth , it comes on us like a thousand packs of wolves we must all fly where shall you go ?
It was dawn , and she quitted her asylum , that she might again endeavour to find my brother .
I who sought and had found joy in the love breathing countenance of my father now when I dared fix on him a supplicating look it was ever answered by an angry frown .
She then bade him , with the eloquence of despair and of unalterable love , a last farewell .
To call up the people of the inn , and obtain a conveyance and horses , even though I harnessed them myself , was the work of many minutes ; minutes , each freighted with the weight of ages .
Oh How unlike it was to the blue seasons of the south Covered with ice , it was only to be distinguished from land by its superior wildness and ruggedness .
Again there is a sound as of a human voice , but hoarser ; it comes from the cabin where the remains of Frankenstein still lie .
Late we envied their abodes , their spicy groves , fertile plains , and abundant loveliness .
Depart to your home and commence your labours ; I shall watch their progress with unutterable anxiety ; and fear not but that when you are ready I shall appear . ''
His gentleness was never tinged by dogmatism , and his instructions were given with an air of frankness and good nature that banished every idea of pedantry .
`` It was about seven in the morning , and I longed to obtain food and shelter ; at length I perceived a small hut , on a rising ground , which had doubtless been built for the convenience of some shepherd .
`` The pleasant showers and genial warmth of spring greatly altered the aspect of the earth .
Twice I actually hired myself as an under mate in a Greenland whaler , and acquitted myself to admiration .
The hunger of Death was now stung more sharply by the diminution of his food : or was it that before , the survivors being many , the dead were less eagerly counted ?
At length these obnoxious visits suddenly ceased altogether , but from that moment I must date the change of my father : a change that to remember makes me shudder and then filled me with the deepest grief .
Methought the charm would be broken if I were seen , but I heard the music of her voice and was happy .
By the time that she had with uneasy thoughts laid her fair cheek upon her pillow , her mother 's servant brought a draught ; a suspicion again crossed her at this novel proceeding , sufficiently alarming to determine her not to take the potion ; but dislike of contention , and a wish to discover whether there was any just foundation for her conjectures , made her , she said , almost instinctively , and in contradiction to her usual frankness , pretend to swallow the medicine .
Thou holdest the keys of the frost , and canst first chain and then set free the streams ; under thy gentle governance the buds and leaves are born , they flourish nursed by thee .
During her illness many arguments had been urged to persuade my mother to refrain from attending upon her .
She sought to improve her understanding ; mechanically her heart and dispositions became soft and gentle under this benign discipline .
Let the day therefore be fixed ; and on it I will consecrate myself , in life or death , to the happiness of my cousin . ''
This change made us only the more sensible to the delights of the intimate intercourse of our own circle , the tranquillity of our divine forest , and our happy evenings in the halls of our beloved Castle .
A south west wind brought up rain the sun came out , and mocking the usual laws of nature , seemed even at this early season to burn with solsticial force .
The boys heard with childish glee of our removal : Clara asked if we were to go to Athens .
I had been awake the whole of the preceding night , my nerves were agitated , and my eyes inflamed by watching and misery .
We remained for the night at Luton .
I resolved to visit London , to see him ; to quiet these agonizing throes by the sweet medicine of hope , or the opiate of despair .
The stranger has gradually improved in health but is very silent and appears uneasy when anyone except myself enters his cabin .
I ate my breakfast with pleasure and was about to remove a plank to procure myself a little water when I heard a step , and looking through a small chink , I beheld a young creature , with a pail on her head , passing before my hovel .
His very horse seemed to back from the fatal entrance ; his dog , his faithful dog , lay moaning and supplicating in his path in a moment more , he had plunged the rowels into the sides of the stung animal , who bounded forward , and he , the gateway passed , was galloping up the broad and desart street .
Perdita was all sufficient to herself .
I might be said even to love my enemies , since by exciting me they in a sort bestowed happiness upon me ; Perdita almost disliked her friends , for they interfered with her visionary moods .
I expressed a wish to visit England , but concealing the true reasons of this request , I clothed my desires under a guise which excited no suspicion , while I urged my desire with an earnestness that easily induced my father to comply .
The sun does not more certainly shine in the heavens than that which I now affirm is true .
Combining with taste her remembrance of the edifices which she had seen in the east , and by an effort of genius enduing them with unity of design , she executed the plan which had been sent to the Protector .
I asked him , if he had ever seen among the troops any one resembling her ; if since he had returned to Greece he had heard of her ?
But your direction was northwards .
Let not these aspirations be attributed to vanity .
You had mentioned Geneva as the name of your native town , and towards this place I resolved to proceed .
Adrian took pity on my faltering mien : `` Come with me , '' he said , `` I have much to say to you ; come home with me you know who I am ? '' `` Yes , '' I exclaimed , `` I do believe that I now know you , and that you will pardon my mistakes my crime . ''
`` Why do you call to my remembrance , '' I rejoined , `` circumstances of which I shudder to reflect , that I have been the miserable origin and author ?
Burke 's Reflections on the French Revolution .
Was my love blamable ?
But now also I began to reap the fruits of my perfect solitude .
Sometimes you may be stung with the feeling that you have wronged me , but the condolence of your relatives , the pity of the world , the complacency which the consciousness of your own immaculate innocence will bestow , will be excellent balm ; me you will never see more '' Raymond moved towards the door .
The soil was barren , scarcely affording pasture for a few miserable cows , and oatmeal for its inhabitants , which consisted of five persons , whose gaunt and scraggy limbs gave tokens of their miserable fare .
Sometimes she looked at Raymond , as if to say That it should be so At others her countenance expressed I will still do all I can to make you happy .
Every one remarked her exhilaration of spirits ; as all actions appear graceful in the eye of rank , her guests surrounded her applaudingly , although there was a sharpness in her laugh , and an abruptness in her sallies , which might have betrayed her secret to an attentive observer .
He wrote to the address given , desiring to see the draughtsman , that such alterations might be made , as should be suggested in a consultation between him and the original conceiver .
Yes , divinity of the world , I read your characters in her looks and gesture ; I heard your melodious voice echoed by her you prepared for us a soft and flowery path , all gentle thoughts adorned it your name , O Love , was not spoken , but you stood the Genius of the Hour , veiled , and time , but no mortal hand , might raise the curtain .
I asked , `` Does Lady Idris love you ? '' `` What a question , '' replied he laughing .
I had sagacity enough to discover that the unnatural hideousness of my person was the chief object of horror with those who had formerly beheld me .
Elizabeth alone had the power to draw me from these fits ; her gentle voice would soothe me when transported by passion and inspire me with human feelings when sunk in torpor .
`` The old man had , in the meantime , been pensive , but on the appearance of his companions he assumed a more cheerful air , and they sat down to eat .
He strove to shelter her , as a fair exotic is sheltered by the gardener , from every rougher wind and to surround her with all that could tend to excite pleasurable emotion in her soft and benevolent mind .
At length we arrived at the harbour ; it was agitated by the outward swell of the sea ; the beach , as far could be discerned , was covered by a moving multitude , which , urged by those behind toward the sea , again rushed back as the heavy waves with sullen roar burst close to them .
You perhaps will find some means to justify my poor guiltless Justine .
Although her disposition was gay and in many respects inconsiderate , yet she paid the greatest attention to every gesture of my aunt .
I may die , but in death I can never forget or desert my own Clara .
As my authorship increased , I acquired new sympathies and pleasures .
The shutters had been thrown back , and with a sensation of horror not to be described , I saw at the open window a figure the most hideous and abhorred .
This appearance excited our unqualified wonder .
Oh , that some encouraging voice would answer in the affirmative My courage and my resolution is firm ; but my hopes fluctuate , and my spirits are often depressed .
Condescend therefore to have patience with my ignorance , and to explain your wishes to me ; in time I am certain that you will be satisfied . ''
The hand writing itself was exquisitely beautiful ; there was something in her very paper and its folds , which even I , who did not love , and was withal unskilled in such matters , could discern as being tasteful .
Yet it is in your power to recompense me , and deliver them from an evil which it only remains for you to make so great , that not only you and your family , but thousands of others , shall be swallowed up in the whirlwinds of its rage .
I have sought in vain for sleep and rest ; my lids refused to close , and my blood was for ever in a tumult .
When my father returned from Milan , he found playing with me in the hall of our villa a child fairer than pictured cherub a creature who seemed to shed radiance from her looks and whose form and motions were lighter than the chamois of the hills .
Perdita , even where she loved , was reserved and timid ; Idris was frank and confiding .
Perdita , shut up in herself , spoke little .
I quickly destroyed part of my sledge to construct oars , and by these means was enabled , with infinite fatigue , to move my ice raft in the direction of your ship .
The high and snowy mountains were its immediate boundaries , but I saw no more ruined castles and fertile fields .
I had been accustomed , during the night , to steal a part of their store for my own consumption , but when I found that in doing this I inflicted pain on the cottagers , I abstained and satisfied myself with berries , nuts , and roots which I gathered from a neighbouring wood .
It is certainly best not to compromise oneself by any concealment . ''
To our right the Acropolis rose high , spectatress of a thousand changes , of ancient glory , Turkish slavery , and the restoration of dear bought liberty ; tombs and cenotaphs were strewed thick around , adorned by ever renewing vegetation ; the mighty dead hovered over their monuments , and beheld in our enthusiasm and congregated numbers a renewal of the scenes in which they had been the actors .
I was not so sanguine as she as to the result of our voyage .
Thus situated , employed in the most detestable occupation , immersed in a solitude where nothing could for an instant call my attention from the actual scene in which I was engaged , my spirits became unequal ; I grew restless and nervous .
I was new to sorrow , but it did not the less alarm me .
Scoffing devil Again do I vow vengeance ; again do I devote thee , miserable fiend , to torture and death .
I imagined that they would be disgusted , until , by my gentle demeanour and conciliating words , I should first win their favour and afterwards their love .
I pictured to myself a lovely river such as that on whose banks Dante describes Mathilda gathering flowers , which ever flows bruna , bruna , Sotto l'ombra perpetua , che mai Raggiar non lascia sole ivi , ne Luna .
These were wild and miserable thoughts , but I can not describe to you how the eternal twinkling of the stars weighed upon me and how I listened to every blast of wind as if it were a dull ugly siroc on its way to consume me .
The plague is in London ; the air of England is tainted , and her sons and daughters strew the unwholesome earth .
Could they thrust back from the path of distinction and laudable ambition , the heir of their ancient kings , and heap another disappointment on a fallen house .
You will find him at Dunkeld ; gentle and tractable he wanders up the hills , and through the wood , or sits listening beside the waterfall .
Alas to what loathsome shifts must I be driven ?
`` Do not deceive yourself , '' replied Raymond , `` the separation at hand is one over which I have no control ; most near at hand is it ; the days are already counted .
His friends remembered him as a brilliant vision which would never again return to them .
I never saw any woman who excited , as Elizabeth does , my warmest admiration and affection .
Something told him that it was not its real evils that lay heavily at her heart , but the debasement and disgrace attendant on it ; as he talked , he divested it of these ; sometimes speaking of her fortitude with energetic praise ; then , alluding to her past state , he called her his Princess in disguise .
One evening a numerous assembly of Greek chieftains were gathered together in the palace .
He was alone , examining some petitions lately presented .
I am practically industrious painstaking , a workman to execute with perseverance and labour but besides this there is a love for the marvellous , a belief in the marvellous , intertwined in all my projects , which hurries me out of the common pathways of men , even to the wild sea and unvisited regions I am about to explore .
But now , he who dies finds many companions gone before to prepare for his reception .
He meditated on what was best to be done .
There then in that castle in Windsor Castle , birth place of Idris and my babes , should be the haven and retreat for the wrecked bark of human society .
It required all her self command , to suppress the gush of tears self pity caused at this idea .
Soon after this he inquired if I thought that the breaking up of the ice had destroyed the other sledge .
That the plague was not what is commonly called contagious , like the scarlet fever , or extinct small pox , was proved .
If there is a chasm our mutual love will give us wings to pass it , and we shall find flowers , and verdure , and delight on the other side . ''
I am convinced , that had the myriad troops of Asia come from over the Propontis , and stood defenders of the Golden City , each and every Greek would have marched against the overwhelming numbers , and have devoted himself with patriotic fury for his country .
`` I have copies of these letters , for I found means , during my residence in the hovel , to procure the implements of writing ; and the letters were often in the hands of Felix or Agatha .
I eagerly seized the prize and returned with it to my hovel .
I will hover near and direct the steel aright .
Clara , though only twelve years old , was rendered , through extreme sensibility , so prudent and careful , that I felt secure in entrusting the charge of him to her , and it was my task to prevent Idris from observing their absence .
Raymond had never visited the dwellings of want , and the scene that now presented itself struck him to the heart .
You have hope , and the world before you , and have no cause for despair .
There , Margaret , the sun is forever visible , its broad disk just skirting the horizon and diffusing a perpetual splendour .
It was suspected that the Turks , finding themselves possessed of so illustrious a captive , resolved to satisfy their cruelty rather than their avarice , and fearful of the interference of England , had come to the determination of concealing for ever the cold blooded murder of the soldier they most hated and feared in the squadrons of their enemy .
Cast away the hearts of tigers that burn in your breasts ; throw down those tools of cruelty and hate ; in this pause of exterminating destiny , let each man be brother , guardian , and stay to the other .
Oh believe me , if you beheld on lips pale with grief one smile of joy and gratitude , and knew that you were parent of that smile , and that without you it had never been , you would feel so pure and warm a happiness that you would wish to live for ever again and again to enjoy the same pleasure .
`` One word more concerning unkind , unjust Perdita .
Little could be got from the survivors ; but their cautious answers caused it to be surmised that several expeditions had preceded this last , and that several Turks of rank and importance had been conveyed to Asia .
I revolved a thousand and a thousand plans .
What indeed could he reply to her complaints , to her griefs which she jealously paled round , keeping out all thought of remedy .
My fortunes have been , from the beginning , an exemplification of the power that mutability may possess over the varied tenor of man 's life .
If he were vanquished , I should be a free man .
I sat by his bed , watching him ; his eyes were closed , and I thought he slept ; but presently he called to me in a feeble voice , and bidding me come near , said , `` Alas The strength I relied on is gone ; I feel that I shall soon die , and he , my enemy and persecutor , may still be in being .
We visited the wondrous cave and the little cabinets of natural history , where the curiosities are disposed in the same manner as in the collections at Servox and Chamounix .
But how are we to judge of airs , and pronounce in such a city plague will die unproductive ; in such another , nature has provided for it a plentiful harvest ?
Overjoyed at this discovery , he hastened to the house , which was situated in a mean street near the Reuss .
If he dies with me it is well , and there will be an end of two miserable beings ; and if he will not , then will I scoff at his friendship and drink the poison before him to shame his cowardice .
Even the source of colonies was dried up , for in New Holland , Van Diemen 's Land , and the Cape of Good Hope , plague raged .
Heavy misfortunes have befallen us , but let us only cling closer to what remains and transfer our love for those whom we have lost to those who yet live .
He entered attentively into all my arguments in favour of my eventual success and into every minute detail of the measures I had taken to secure it .
She never complained , but sleep and appetite fled from her , a slow fever preyed on her veins , her colour was hectic , and she often wept in secret ; gloomy prognostications , care , and agonizing dread , ate up the principle of life within her .
From the side where I now stood Montanvert was exactly opposite , at the distance of a league ; and above it rose Mont Blanc , in awful majesty .
I had lived in what is generally called the world of reality , and it was awakening to a new country to find that there was a deeper meaning in all I saw , besides that which my eyes conveyed to me .
I have traversed a vast portion of the earth and have endured all the hardships which travellers in deserts and barbarous countries are wont to meet .
Yet , even then , I have checked thick coming fears with one thought ; I would not fear death , for the emotions that linked us must be immortal .
I , the elder of the two , was five years old when my mother died .
She was a Roman Catholic ; and I believe her confessor confirmed the idea which she had conceived .
`` These thoughts exhilarated me and led me to apply with fresh ardour to the acquiring the art of language .
The native modesty of his disposition conquered the joy of his triumph .
We then conversed on the plan I should pursue , and discussed the probable means of discovering his residence .
I adopted another plan .
She had been reserved and even stern in childhood ; but love had softened the asperities of her character , and her union with Raymond had caused her talents and affections to unfold themselves ; the one betrayed , and the other lost , she in some degree returned to her ancient disposition .
The plague is now in progress it is useless closing one 's eyes to the fact the deaths encrease each week .
They endeavoured to picture forth what would then happen , and spoke in lofty terms of the prosperity of Greece , when Constantinople should become its capital .
Margaret , what comment can I make on the untimely extinction of this glorious spirit ?
The old woman shuddered , she contrived at length to sit upright ; but her teeth chattered , and her knees knocked together close , very close , lay a half naked figure , just discernible in the gloom , and the cry for water and the stifled moan were again uttered .
As her strength grew less , I lifted her from the ground ; her emaciated form hung over my arm , her sunken cheek rested on my breast ; in a sepulchral voice she murmured : `` This is the end of love Yet not the end '' and frenzy lent her strength as she cast her arm up to heaven : `` there is the end there we meet again .
We were , as we believed , many hundred miles from any land ; but this apparition seemed to denote that it was not , in reality , so distant as we had supposed .
Of old navies used to stem the giant ocean waves betwixt Indus and the Pole for slight articles of luxury .
I do not know that the relation of my disasters will be useful to you ; yet , when I reflect that you are pursuing the same course , exposing yourself to the same dangers which have rendered me what I am , I imagine that you may deduce an apt moral from my tale , one that may direct you if you succeed in your undertaking and console you in case of failure .
Raymond had joined in the former part of the discussion .
I read of men concerned in public affairs , governing or massacring their species .
His voice , usually gentle , often startled you by a sharp discordant note , which shewed that his usual low tone was rather the work of study than nature .
`` The name of the old man was De Lacey .
By degrees the calm and heavenly scene restored me , and I continued my journey towards Geneva .
He lost no time in endeavouring to seek him out , with the hope of persuading him to begin the world again through his credit and assistance .
It was from my own Elizabeth : `` My dearest Cousin , `` You have been ill , very ill , and even the constant letters of dear kind Henry are not sufficient to reassure me on your account .
Friendship , hand in hand with admiration , tenderness and respect , built a bower of delight in my heart , late rough as an untrod wild in America , as the homeless wind or herbless sea .
I may be absent a month or two ; but do not interfere with my motions , I entreat you ; leave me to peace and solitude for a short time ; and when I return , I hope it will be with a lighter heart , more congenial to your own temper . ''
My heart no longer beat wildly ; I did not feel any fever : but I was chilled ; my knees sunk under me I almost slept as I walked with excess of weariness ; every limb trembled .
I was more agile than they and could subsist upon coarser diet ; I bore the extremes of heat and cold with less injury to my frame ; my stature far exceeded theirs .
However this might be , the haughty Countess entrusted none with the secrets of her family tuition .
Communication had been to a great degree cut off through the paralyzing effects of pestilence , so that the van of our invaders had proceeded as far as Manchester and Derby , before we received notice of their arrival .
I had imposed a law of silence on myself ; and for months I have kept it .
When I found so astonishing a power placed within my hands , I hesitated a long time concerning the manner in which I should employ it .
I stand here , it would seem , an elected king ; this hand is about to grasp a sceptre ; these brows feel in each nerve the coming diadem .
Yet some feelings , unallied to the dross of human nature , beat even in these rugged bosoms .
I first became acquainted with him on board a whale vessel ; finding that he was unemployed in this city , I easily engaged him to assist in my enterprise .
It was with these feelings that I began the creation of a human being .
My journey had been my own suggestion , and Elizabeth therefore acquiesced , but she was filled with disquiet at the idea of my suffering , away from her , the inroads of misery and grief .
Love for you invested the world for me in enchanted light ; it was no longer the earth I trod the earth , common mother , yielding only trite and stale repetition of objects and circumstances old and worn out .
I called aloud for him through the darkness of night , over the scorching ruins of fallen Constantinople , his name was heard ; no voice replied echo even was mute .
But in this mortal life extremes are always matched ; the thorn grows with the rose , the poison tree and the cinnamon mingle their boughs .
Accordingly , a few months after your departure for Ingolstadt , Justine was called home by her repentant mother .
It requires more philosophy than I possess to bear this injustice with patience .
Horrible , most horrible I veil my eyes in terror of the change , and gushing tears bear witness to my sympathy for this unimaginable ruin .
We the besiegers were in the comparison little affected by these evils .
There is a meaning in the eye of love ; a cadence in its voice , an irradiation in its smile , the talisman of whose enchantments one only can possess ; its spirit is elemental , its essence single , its divinity an unit .
I HAVE lingered thus long on the extreme bank , the wasting shoal that stretched into the stream of life , dallying with the shadow of death .
`` After some weeks my wound healed , and I continued my journey .
But it will please me to see you each day to listen to the public voice praising you ; to keep up your paternal love for our girl ; to hear your voice ; to know that I am near you , though you are no longer mine .
`` And what is that ? '' `` If I do make it my choice , then you shall know ; at present I dare not speak , even think of it . ''
For three days the snow fell , ice stopped the current of the rivers , and the birds flew out from crackling branches of the frost whitened trees .
`` My dear Child `` I have betrayed your confidence ; I have endeavoured to pollute your mind , and have made your innocent heart acquainted with the looks and language of unlawful and monstrous passion .
I instantly wrote to Geneva ; nearly two months have elapsed since the departure of my letter .
But I was at once startled and enchanted by my sudden extension of vision , when the curtain , which had been drawn before the intellectual world , was withdrawn , and I saw the universe , not only as it presented itself to my outward senses , but as it had appeared to the wisest among men .
My life had hitherto been remarkably secluded and domestic , and this had given me invincible repugnance to new countenances .
But it was not so ; I was the same in strength , in earnest craving for sympathy , in my yearning for active exertion .
Yet from whom has not that rude hand rent away some dear connection ?
These reflections made our legislators pause , before they could decide on the laws to be put in force .
Once my fancy was soothed with dreams of virtue , of fame , and of enjoyment .
Nay , you may have met with another whom you may love ; and considering yourself as bound in honour to Elizabeth , this struggle may occasion the poignant misery which you appear to feel . '' `` My dear father , reassure yourself .
Stress of weather drove us up the Adriatic Gulph ; and , our vessel being hardly fitted to weather a storm , we took refuge in the port of Ancona .