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Dear [insert name],
You have been cordially invited to join apartment 201 in celebrating this year’s annual Shitty Thanksgiving on Monday, the 21st day of the 11th month of the year. Celebrate this year in frienditude by feasting and getting “shitty”. Bringing a dish is required. Getting shitty, while not required, will be highly influenced by peer pressure. Dinner shall be served at a very soft 7:00 pm; however, guests may show up at any time. If you shall be attending this joyous occasion, please RSVP with either Grantward Hilgert or Isaac Michaels; although I’m sure several of you will just show up without notice.
“I feel bad for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day, " Frank Sinatra