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In other words, figure out py2app. Unfortunately, it seems that no matter what you use the first step in building a Mac distribution is "buy a Mac". That wouldn't be so bad (after all, it's the same for py2exe and Windows), except for the fact that it appears to be impossible to rent a Mac VM for brief periods of time (e.g. on EC2 or anywhere for that matter).
So - it might be a matter of either waiting for Apple to get a frigging clue and permit VM hosts to run Mac OS X on whatever they like, or get some friendly Mac user to provide me with remote SSH access to their box...