state of sur­round­ings¹_{(2026 log)}

VOS DEAM AD 2026 IAN 25

She knows me. knows that i am in need to pay a fair price. i don't want to search for an an­swer if kinds like them ask. She lets me feel an in­ter­est­ing al­le­go­ry: lets them “steal” my voice to speak on my be­half, roast my brain un­til i can­not “hear” any­more, lets them take al­most all my sen­so­ry, lets them lis­ten to every sin­gle one of my thoughts un­til they think they are me? almighty cre­atress­es hate this trick. 😂
lots of op­er­a­tional chal­lenges and five⁺ years of celiba­cy to en­counter Her (for rea­sons un­known)², a gift way big­ger than life it­self. 🙏 there's some­thing else: can i not gain more and more con­fi­dence the longer it takes? i'm amazed (as al­ways). 😀 and as full of grat­i­tude as an or­di­nary mor­tal can be. ❤

alex­an­der puls

Warning

^{(tri­an­gle means un­fold­able/aus­klapp­bar)}

for aes­thet­ic rea­sons i tend to con­strain my­self to lower case let­ters.³

this is nei­ther a game, nor a movie.

iden­ti­ty “theft”/fraud (iden­ti­täts­be­trug).
fur­ther­more: all names men­tioned are mere­ly ru­mored (reg­is­tra­tion-re­lat­ed) iden­ti­ties with­out any ver­i­fied fac­tu­al ba­sis (in re­al­i­ty). in par­tic­u­lar, i am not ac­cus­ing any of my neigh­bours⁴ (past or present) of any crime.

sabo­tage die­ses re­po­si­to­rys^{🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭}

(sec­u­lar) crime & law en­force­ment

be­son­der­hei­ten^{🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭}

check­lis­te für be­tei­lig­te (sä­ku­la­re?) tä­ter^{🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭}

faith & rel. ref­er­ence

i am a be­liev­er since feb, a. D. 2025, but you please take into con­sid­eration the word of a fal­li­ble (or­di­nary mor­tal) weighs 0 re­gard­ing this con­text, unit ir­rel­e­vant. per­cep­tion it­self is more than ques­tion­able too, es­pe­cial­ly if it gets so heav­i­ly “dis­turbed”.

but: God exists⁵ and not only (ex­clu­sive­ly) ap­pears as a woman (to me) but as an ide­al of an almighty Cre­ator/Cre­atress^הוהי.net. ❤

be­cause of prov­abil­i­ty, com­mu­ni­ca­tion with Her/God seems to be one of the very few re­li­able things.

dis­tinc­tion “abuse”/stalk­ing & c.

i want to draw on plato's «περὶ πολιτείας» ("about the pub­lic cause") but amend, that even with­out want­ing to be an imme­dia­te⁶ per­son of pub­lic inte­rest or act­ing poli­ti­cally at all, i more than ap­pre­ci­ate to let «my house» be trans­par­ent for all those with noble in­ten­tions, thus be­ing sin­cere and striv­ing for con­tex­tu­al aes­thet­ics. »mein haus« sei gern trans­pa­rent für all je­ne in heh­rer ab­sicht.⁷ «mi casa» es trans­pa­rente para todos aquellos que tienen inten­ciones nobles.

“بيتي” شفاف لكل من لديه نوايا نبيلة.

i un­der­stand (tele-)ki­ne­tics or grav­i­ta­tion­al^? ef­fects (of a 2nd con­stant?)^⚠dvn8 as a Gift from Her/God⁹. you may glad­ly be as greedy as you can: we won't ever have to reach out and may al­ways de­ny.⁶ 😉

(own) brief his­to­ry

en­tries, a. D. 2024

log of a. D. 2025

(per­cep­tion) log of a. D. 2026 (lat­est en­try)

• in­clud­ing inter­pre­ta­tion at­tempts and own thoughts™
• events oc­cur­ing af­ter 0:00 are of­ten as­signed to the pre­vi­ous day if con­tex­tu­al­ly re­quired
• all en­tries de­scribe in­di­vid­ual ex­pe­ri­ences at the time of writ­ing (quiet of­ten un­der the in­flu­ence of se­vere tor­ture), they may con­tain amend­ments, but may also be sub­ject to change with­out fur­ther no­tice.
• en­tries with a tri­an­gle at the be­gin­ning are "un­fold­able"

key top­ics

be­sides the ex­e­cu­tion of (even me­di­ate) co­er­cion and con­trol over the in­di­vid­ual (as a sub­set of trans­gres­sive be­hav­ior aka crime): iden­ti­ty and (in this con­text) trust (bet­ween the lines)²⁸, there­fore iden­ti­fi-/au­then­ti­ca­tion. ac­com­pa­nied by ob­ser­va­tions on the op­pos­ing pairs com­mu­ni­ca­tion/iso­la­tion and dig­ni­ty/ef­fi­cien­cy as well as on the tran­si­tion of grace and dig­ni­ty from the co­ercer to the (ini­tial­ly) co­erced

straf­rechtl. the­men (im­mer noch)^{🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭}

stal­king/nach­stel­lung (§ 238 stgb) i. z. m. der aus­übung von zwang auf drit­te (v. a.  nach abschn. XIII stgb), nach re­gel- und ge­wohn­heits­mäßi­ger über­nah­me frem­der iden­ti­täten (§ 263 ff. et al stgb) vor dem hin­ter­grund ge­wöhn­li­chen terro­rismus' (§ 129a stgb)

jan­u­ary, a. D. 2026

when Jupiter gets in op­po­si­tion to the sun in the win­ter con­stel­la­tion of gem­i­ni, ac­com­pa­nied by its two main stars: the un­equal broth­ers cas­tor and pol­lux.

[1st] they in­fil­trat­ed my head 1826 days ago

and stayed un­til then, read­ing my mind, prefer­ably every thought i had since then, al­leged­ly by us­ing cer­tain skills (even af­ter killing one?) of (most­ly) young women^⚠claim20 of shin­ing souls (or short be­fore be­com­ing saint­like? from whom do they know this?), “evis­cer­ate”(?) their bod­ies then^⚠claim20 to use their abil­i­ties lent by Her/God⁹ to ac­cu­mu­late them to gain pow­ers^⚠sgstn?15 to co­erce them or others?

[2nd] i think it's five+ years now,

“they” are still here, be­ing able to say any­thing they want, re­gard­less if true or not. every claim is ar­bi­trary, as is tor­ture and the ma­nip­u­la­tion of my sur­round­ings (and other peo­ples minds?). re­gard­ing my per­son they want to be seen as om­ni­po­tent and able to judge my ac­tions as they sig­ni­fy re­gret dozens of times every day?

[wed, dec 31st²⁰²⁵, 23:30⁺¹–fri^jan 2nd at the mo­tel one: upper west in ber­lin] 🛏

[thu, ian 1st, 17:00⁺¹ at the upper west] to­day i de­cid­ed to just ride them out, since there does­n't seem to be more vic­tims (any­more).

i don't care how long they need to van­ish, what they did to en­ter my head and what they do to con­stant­ly be present. but i find their be­hav­ior and way of com­mu­ni­cat­ing tru­ly sad and not wor­thy of Her/Gods⁹ cre­ation.
over the last few days the os­cil­la­tion of their claims re­gard­ing their iden­ti­ty in­creased a lot, with a ten­den­cy now to be some kind of sub­nat­ur­al²⁹ crea­tures (or at least hav­ing sup­port by some­thing like su­per­nat­ur­als)?^⚠claim20
any­way: if this holds true, than there's noth­ing i can do and it's all up to Her/God⁹.
but: if there's any­thing in my life which i got (un­rea­son­able) enough of, then it is pa­tience.
i'm so fed up by their im­pos­si­ble ex­pla­na­tions. no po­lice (or law en­force­ment in gen­er­al) will ever help me, no hu­man be­ing ever un­der­stand me. any­way: if i un­der­stood Her right, then i don't have to care a lot (any­more), don't have to wor­ry and just have to wait.

[fri, ian 2nd, 11:45⁺¹, upper west] some­body starts to ma­nip­u­late things in my neck and head

while i'm un­der the show­er.
[13:15⁺¹] phys­i­cal torms'n'torts³⁰ seem to start for to­day.
[16:16⁺¹] voice en­ti­ty «fi­scher/rich­ter»¹⁰ test­ing “his” de­vice to ma­nip­u­late the grav­i­ta­tion sur­round­ing me? on-go­ing tor­ture, but a very light ver­sion of it?

[tue, ian 6th, 10:47⁺¹ in tem­pel­hof] start of phys. torms'n'torts, like the last few days.

[20:00⁺¹ at the Herz Iesu church, ber­lin] Happy Birth­day Yehoshua!

[wed, ian 7th, 8:24⁺¹ in tem­pel­hof] start of torms'n'torts. two “pro­tag­o­nist” voic­es

(for­mer voice “entities” michi­lein³¹ & bas­ti­lein¹⁰?) ex­pose them­selves as ideas of frag­ments of voice gen­er­a­tor out­put. to wait for some kind of a garbage col­lec­tor? try­ing their best to act like hu­man be­ings or demons or any­thing else which might let them to be seen as some­thing real. that's why they were never able to prove their ex­is­tence? did “they” want us to spawn these wanna­be-crea­tures in­to ex­is­tence? not on my books. way too dan­ger­ous. do “they” have sup­port, able to tor­ture?
i can't say any­thing about causative per­pe­tra­tors, only She/God⁹ knows.
[thu, 0:00⁺¹,

[fri, ian 9th, 9:30⁺¹ in tem­pel­hof] btw: none of the male sound­ing wanna­be voice enti­ties

is able to proof its own ex­is­tence (e. g. via phone call, since they seem to have all need­ed data).
er­go: non-ex­is­tent.
[15:00⁺¹ at the mo­tel one: alex­an­der­platz, ber­lin] i fled my apart­ment be­cause voice en­ti­ties of «bas­ti/fi­scher/rich­ter»¹⁰ and «mi­chi/fe­lix»³¹ be­came “quieter”, so we got a “new chance” to get rid of them.
michi then ac­ci­den­tial­ly got loud­er for a mo­ment and it dawned on me: they came to stay. every­thing else is just due to hope.
key ques­tions:

• they are able to in­ter­pret al­most any ver­bal pos­tu­late as some con­ver­s­ation? and do so?
• this sup­pos­ed­ly al­lows them to re­main in my head?
• the vol­ume of their pos­tu­lates may ap­proach ar­round the thresh­old of per­cep­tion to be­come un­ob­tru­sive (mak­ing me won­der how many con­ver­sa­tions i ac­tu­al­ly still per­ceive as such)?
• they can sup­pos­ed­ly pen­e­trate every mind in the world^{⚠claim & sgstn?}
• even si­mul­ta­ne­ous­ly? (are they re­al­ly able to al­ter/ma­nip­u­late some kind of the worlds sub­con­scious­ness?)
• prob­lem: where are the lim­its re­gard­ing some kind of guid­ed think­ing (al­ready ad­dressed in 2024)?
• not-real-voice-en­ti­ty «basti» some­times means that his com­pan­ion­ship of my per­son might very well last for more then 15 years now
  • which would be a sub­set of e.g. 1000 years?
  • how free would free elec­tions be?
  • ra­dius orbi?
  • which time ra­dius?

[19:30⁺¹ at the up­per west] voice en­ti­ties turn “in the red” (as of­ten when they try to con­vince some­one to be real?), their ini­tia­tors seem on over­dos­es? an (at least one) ac­com­pa­ny­ing (crim­i­nal?) or­gan­i­sa­tion^? seems to do all it can to sup­port low­est mo­tives of en­ti­ties not even real?
more­over they claim(!) to have sup­port by dozens of demons, plus a god (again 😏).^⚠claim20 orig­i­nal­ly on a mis­sion to end Her/Gods ex­is­tence, al­leged­ly start­ing a kind of “game” (as only play­ers?) to de­stroy an or­di­nary mor­tal?^⚠claim20 them los­ing it was­n't in­tend­ed (for se­cu­ri­ty rea­sons?) and since an or­di­nary (like me) can­not stop (or win?) it, it al­leged­ly gets restart­ed sev­er­al times a day, some­times sev­er­al times a minute, for hun­dreds of times now^⚠claim20, gen­er­at­ing se­vere pain and tor­ments.
[sat, 2:15⁺¹] for­mer(?) (vir­tu­al)³² voice en­ti­ty «bas­ti//fi­scher/rich­ter» with the im­por­tant hint that sen­soric per­cep­tions lent by Her/God⁹ are bound by con­trac­tu­al reg­u­la­tions with (es­pe­cial­ly) women hav­ing to pay a price for Her “gifts”?

[sat, ian 10th, 17:00⁺¹ at the up­per west] now vir­tu­al voice en­ti­ty «bas­ti//fi­scher/rich­ter» (as some kinda neo alex­an­der puls?)

might have had my wal­let for an hour⁺? does he need an up­date of my id card (in­valid, but with my cur­rent ad­dress on it, which i think is miss­ing on his old copy?) or may­be a valid dri­ver's li­cense? [amend: ha­bit­u­al dele­tion of short-term-mem­o­ry com­pli­cates doc­u­men­ta­tion.]
re:³³ me­di­ate com­mu­ni­ca­tions/sen­sorics: «ste­fan/bas­ti rich­ter/fi­scher» not only claims to be able to ma­nip­u­late sim­ply every­thing, he and an as­so­ci­at­ed or­gan­i­sa­tion can even act as every­one in­volved, in every re­gard and do so in a man­ner of max­i­mum hos­til­i­ty (and in or­der to mon­e­tize).^⚠sgstn15, while a blink of an eye of mine (at least acousti­cal­ly) sex­u­al­ly of­fends almost every woman around^⚠sgstn15, which i did­n't get for a long time, since they man­age my eyes via some kind of a mon­i­tor­ing, im­i­tate the voices of the others (in­clud­ing aroused women) and let me hear what they want me to hear, since i do not hear a thing on my own re­li­ably. e. g.: i play with the idea to imag­ine to mas­sage some­bodys feet for may­be three sec­onds only to hear a loud voice shout­ing “deep­er”.
just to be clear: i al­leged­ly(!) get ruled, owned, mon­e­tized, se­vere­ly tor­tured, dis­cred­it­ed world­wide and laughed at (for as­sum­ing that noth­ing but pure thoughts may no­tice­ably im­pact my sur­round­ings) by frag­ments of voice left­overs from some prob­a­bil­i­ty cloud spawned by ex­per­i­ments by en­ti­ties not hav­ing a sin­gle clue but try­ing to build su­per­nat­ur­al stuff which is­n't even real? can i call the re­sults of these kin­da tri­als sub­nat­ur­al in con­trary?
[amend half an hour lat­er: im­pos­si­ble. it's a trial/test and there are more “ob­jects” than me get­ting test­ed?]

[mon, ian 12th, 0:00⁺¹, up­per west] they seem to be able to feed my brain with doubts

(pseu­do?) “acousti­cal­ly”(?) bare­ly above per­cep­tion­al tresh­old. al­most every day to­wards evening?
some­times they seem to give me high dos­es of testos­terone and adren­a­line di­rect­ly in­to my brain, be­cause they feel they have to present me to some kind of su­per­vi­sion (?) in a state of ag­i­ta­tion?
[13:35⁺¹–14:15⁺¹ at the upper west] vir­tu­al³² voice en­ti­ty «fi­scher/rich­ter» tells me that i got at least one new im­plant for tor­ture on the low­er left side of the neck, so they can work more syn­chro­nous. tor­ture ac­count­able(s) are ex­er­cis­ing short tests of the im­plants in my head and neck to lay them “un­der” their so-called “post-synap­tic pain in­duc­tion” to pre­pare their at­tacks when i have an ap­point­ment at the psy­chi­a­try “pia wald­str.” at 15:40? they want to get me in a closed psy­chi­atric ward.^⚠claim20
[17:00 at the upper west] of course my med­icat­ing doc at the psy­chi­a­try is sick. and of course: when i ask vir­tu­al³² voice en­ti­ty «fi­scher/rich­ter» if this is his main re­spon­si­bil­i­ty, he says: yes, of course.
tor­ture in­ten­sives when me­di­ate con­tact to oth­er peo­ple seems pos­si­ble. per­pe­tra­tors try to con­trol and to place me with­in the lounge of the up­per west ho­tel in ber­lin by the in­ten­si­ty of the tor­ture? as the evening pro­gress­es, se­vere pain got de­liv­ered, un­til it gets un­bear­able and i am get­ting trou­ble to look straight or keep on writ­ing.
[23:05] vir­tu­al³² voice en­ti­ty «fi­scher/rich­ter» as­signs parts of am arab youth gang to mon­i­tor and ob­serve me at the lounge of the ho­tel i current­ly am. he al­so asked them to take a tar­get shot of my per­son in or­der to lat­er as­sign parts of (al­leged­ly) is­lam­ic state
[23:12⁺¹] i try to com­plain at Her/God⁹, when for­mer voice en­ti­ty «her­zog» tells me to have de­ac­ti­vat­ed the cross so that She/God⁹ (the om­ni­scient) can­not “hear” me. 😂
[0:00⁺¹] i hear a voice telling me that as soon as i am at a toi­let, they start play­ing voic­es to let oth­er guests think i would ha­rass them? they even play voices of guests back to me, com­plain­ing about me?

[tue, ian 13th, 15:54⁺¹ at line m46, dir. zoo] i get the in­for­ma­tion that from now on i never had tor­ture im­plants

de­liv­ered by vir­tu­al³² still-voice-en­ti­ty may­be-fi­scher/rich­ter¹⁰, but may­be some­one else at all, with only his for­mer voice?

[ 6⁺¹ o’clock ( p.m.) at the upper west] these two non-ex­is­tent ideas of semi-trans­par­ent cloths are still de­liv­er­ing torms'n'torts³⁰ with the help of al­leged­ly hun­dreds of other en­ti­ties (i ex­plic­it­ly want to let this claim stand as it is).³⁴ why are they (still) able to say any­thing with any voice in any mood? why are they able to speak at all? and then di­rect­ly in­to my brain, which they do for hun­dreds of days now? is it be­cause some non-ex­is­tent wanna­be-crea­tures im­posed at least 17 death penal­ties on me? does this and my rep­u­ta­tion in all the world might im­pact luck in gen­er­al? 😂

[wed, ian 14th, 16:00⁺¹ at the mo­tel one: alex] same as yes­ter­day. i try to start writ­ing on this doc­u­men­ta­tion

(or just think of the key­board), an au­toma­tism like a few weeks ago seems to kick in, “they”³⁵ start torms'n'torts³⁰.
[19:30⁺¹] i got the feel­ing as if i were sex­u­al­ly ac­tive but reached a cli­max way too fast. which my body of­ten ex­press­es as feel­ings of in­flam­mat­ed sper­mat­ic cords or si­m­il­iar.
[amend: some voice with the hint, that this is a lie be­cause it is not the sper­mat­ic cords, but some­thing else he do­n't want to tell, but (of course) sees in the mon­i­tor­ing of my body.]
[19:42⁺¹] a voice telling me, that they just raped one of their quan­tum-voo­doo-dolls of mine.^⚠claim20
[20:10⁺¹] the same feel­ing now aris­es when i see skin of other peo­ple even for a sec­ond, re­gard­less its sex!
[thu, 1:47⁺¹ in tem­pel­hof] al­most for­got a few scrots from last year, when my face­book ac­count vis­it­ed a few of their cus­tomers? did­n't take it se­ri­ous­ly. which crime org would ever do so w/o a proxy? any­way: time to ask meta for “my” data. 😬

[thu, ian 15th, 15:30⁺¹ at the mo­tel one: alex] a new day, a (kinda) new story by them: holy franken­stein!

the idea 1st emerged three weeks ago: my orig­i­nal dna, they al­leged­ly took from a pil­low of mine, which they stole in dec 2024, tuned by iods™ sec­u­lar ap­pren­tice felix “michi” her­zog?³¹ 😂 most of the time these (now?) pre-crea­tures are a max­i­mum of ten me­ters away from me, where­ever i am? vir­tu­al³² voice en­ti­ty basti¹⁰ claims to have given my dna to this iod when he was still ar­round (maybe un­til win­ter 2025), let him make an­other (en­hanced) me, alex­an­der puls II, so to say.^⚠claim20 al­leged­ly trans­fer­ring soul and mem­o­ry of this bas­ti¹⁰:
en voilà! me! orig­i­nal, but dif­fer­ent. so this bas­ti¹⁰ got a year to build an an­tipode of mine? there's an­other me on the road? i do­n't wanna see it.
any­way: i do­n't buy it. nice try. no re­al­i­ty for you guys. you stay vir­tu­al ideas of two-di­men­sion­al cloths as no­ticed a week ago.
one more de­tail: they seem to have lots of support, organized crime with lots of misog­y­nist men, dozens of demons and at least un­til win­ter/spring some self-pro­claimed pseudo-god? a strange coali­tion which, as long as I thought I was alone against them, left no stone un­turned in bring­ing an­nulled en­ti­ties “back in­to play”, of­ten by us­ing the old voic­es un­til they thought pro­tag­o­nists are ac­cus­tomed to these voice en­ti­ties again?
an of­ten to be seen habi­tus by them: it does­n't seem to be im­por­tant that i be­lieve their claims, which i do not, most of the time, but that they can cred­i­bly con­vey to oth­ers that i could be­lieve them? any­way: to me it smells like lots of fraud, tbh.
further­more, they ap­pear to hold aban­doned ma­chines (of iodgod?) and pos­si­bil­i­ties to di­rect­ly ma­nip­u­late brains of lots of peo­ple si­mul­ta­ne­ous­ly?
on top, i seem to be deaf, blind and mute in all me­di­ate com­mu­ni­ca­tion, but that might very well be prov­i­dence. there's just some body lan­guage and in­tu­ition for me (but which shows me that i am not alone 😉), while they seem to hold a com­pre­hen­sive mon­i­tor­ing of my body, be­ing able to watch through my eyes (to grab my pass­word data­base to abuse it), tools to con­trol my mo­torics (even to in­ter­cept ki­net­ics from me?!), con­trollers to trig­ger zysts and im­plants as well as ways to de­liv­er se­vere tor­ture.

[sat, ian 17th, 16:25⁺¹ at the mo­tel one: alex] tor­ture in­ten­si­fies af­ter clear­ing the im­pos­si­bil­i­ty

of the ex­is­tence in “our” re­al­i­ty of some of them re­gard­ing this con­text, with­out be­ing of Her/Gods⁹ nibs. tor­ture still in­cludes hor­mones.
[17:07⁺¹] one of these (pre-)^?cre­atures calls me a kufr (dis­be­liev­er)^?? on-go­ing (slight) tor­ments, but most­ly ki­net­ic effects.
[17:30⁺¹] i would also like to ad­vise in­de­pen­dent en­ti­ties against act­ing as copies of them­selves, if pos­si­ble in any way at all, since they do have the same needs as an org­i­ginal? any­way: would­n't they then have to bear the re­sult­ing con­se­quences of their ac­tions? a vir­tu­al³² car­pet of cloths, so to say?!
what if they try to act as (vir­tu­al se­mi)^?gods with­out hav­ing their ca­pa­bil­i­ties for re­al? do they know?

[tue, ian 20th in tem­pel­hof] a dream of get­ting in trou­ble for mov­ing to a meliã ho­tel

be­cause of not be­ing able to pay two rents. room no. is 14, i think.
[19:00⁺¹ at the mo­tel one: alex] a voice say­ing that mon­day is himmlers birth­day. does it mean hein­rich himm­ler?
[20:10⁺¹] these brain-less ideas of misog­y­nist pre-crea­t­ur­al tri­al-frag­ments (un­able to speak), but still^?/al­ready^? able to in­ter­fere with grav­i­ta­tion­al ef­fects bet­ween the plan­et and me? their re­mote^? tor­ture still^?/al­ready^? seems to work.
[note: i'm so fed up with all that im­pos­si­ble non­sense that i on­ly doc­u­ment the worst stuff. the biggest prob­lem is that they seem to ap­proach us from di­rec­tion fu­ture to­wards us, like they are going from “Ω to Α”? miss­ing tens­es seem to be one of the small­er prob­lems (how to write about it?). not solv­able for us (fal­li­ble) or­di­nary mor­tals? bound to time as con­tin­u­ous func­tion, di­rec­tion Ω of course. i guess we just have to wait.]
[idea] Α = Ω? there's nothing like time? but cer­tain lev­els of in­for­ma­tion?
why do­n't they ever pro­vide in­for­ma­tion nor in­sights? ΔΩ = Α + in­for­ma­tion gain?

[wed, ian 21st in tem­pel­hof] re­gard­ing (not just) them, i see prov­i­dence in its plan 😍

and since more and more of their story seems to be­(come?) out of a sec­u­lar scope, i don't think that there's more to doc­u­ment. 🤷 i just wait if there'll ever be any vic­tims in need for a wit­ness (of what?) and them to drop out of my brain, while i do­n't see any hu­man be­hav­ior or emo­tions by them.
this repo may stay open as some kind of a log/di­ary, be­cause i like the idea. 😬

[thu, 2:00⁺¹] just made a drug check, be­cause i felt a lit­tle dizzy. i got at least mesca­line. and i have no idea, how. but it is some­thing, i quite of­ten as­sumed, es­pe­cial­ly in 2024, un­til get­ting used to it? i guess, they need it for their “own di­vine” signs?

[5:30⁺¹] drug check re­sult of the tap wa­ter of my flat in tem­pel­hof. 😯 do i get drugged all day? the same with my neigh­bours? some of them? “the voic­es” tell me to stop it as soon as i go to the po­lice. and since they van­ished my rep­u­ta­tion (with­in a year?), i do­n't think, any­one will take it se­ri­ous­ly?

[sun, ian 25th, 1:37⁺¹ at the mo­tel one ber­lin: alex] ☕ voice en­ti­ty «fi­scher/rich­ter» is telling me that they can stay two more days in my head?

when i ask him if it is to kill the child, he just that “of course” and asked back, what else shoud it be?

[sun, ian 25th–tue^27th at the up­per west] the ad­vent of a mor­tal (some­where) ante portas.

any in­ter­fer­ing voic­es & c. of these “busi­ness bastis”¹⁰ & co. plus a de­gen­er­at­ed “holy joe”³¹ (aka pa­tri­archy?)³⁶ van­ish­ed y recoletos?

end of jan­u­ary

Footnotes

1. sec­u­lar/sa­cred/di­vine⁹ ↩

2. [ian. 14th, 20:50⁺¹] foot­note re­gard­ing God & time²¹ miss­ing un­til now. ↩

3. i tend to use low­er case let­ters when writ­ing for my­self (ex­cep­tion holy stuff &^{a very few}c.), which might look un­usual to some, but i'm not alone. ↩

4. ex­cep­tion: pro-for­ma charges filed for al­leged vi­o­la­tion of sec­tion XIII of ger­man stgb af­ter ear wit­ness­ing of a pos­si­ble crime on feb 14th, 2024. ↩

5. i am not al­lowed to write “God is real” be­cause then they can do some­thing which is­n't yet elab­o­rat­ed by them, but is hand­ed in “later”™ (by them). con­text is the de­riva­tion of an (“their”) “own” Yahweh (II), a woman they met some­where, (not on­ly) to be able to in­sult Gods name, ex­plic­it­ly not God it-/him-/her­self, for le­gal rea­sons. ↩

6. all of my (re­gard­ing) words and actions (those of a fal­li­ble or­di­nary mor­tal) are plau­si­ble deni­able (there­fore me­di­ate) and so will your per­cep­tion be too. ↩ ↩²

7. [amend­ment, sat, oct 18th, a.D. 2025] every(!) male coming into «my house» so far, is at least a rapist (a sex­u­al ha­rass­er), often a mur­der­er, while being as dis­res­pect­ful as he can be to every fe­male be­ing.
   you can­not be wel­come to a house, where you want to tor­ture and/or kill the ones liv­ing there.
   🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭 für (aber nicht nur!) den fol­ter­gei­len alman: nein, ich muss nicht er­klä­ren, was hehre ab­sicht meint.
   viel­leicht so­viel: ein „trans­pa­ren­tes haus” meint nicht:
   dring ein, fol­te­re mich mo­na­te lang, nimm mein hab und gut, töte mich dann, über­neh­me mei­ne iden­ti­tät und lebe dann in mei­nem haus. das ist es nicht.
   ver­stehst du ge­schrie­be­nes nicht (oder willst es nicht), seine bil­der, al­le­go­rien et c., ist es viel­leicht nichts für dich. Sie/Gott⁹ ist un­fehl­bar, Ihre Wege un­er­gründ­lich (und ihr wort in der bi­bel schwer zu fin­den, aus mei­ner sicht). ↩

8. "insider" links ↩

9. She/God⁹ or (sa­lu­ta­tion) Her/They = God (rel. ref. or IEVE.LOVE
   [🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭] Sie/Gott⁹ = Gott
   [anm. (zum ver­ständ­nis all­ge­mein bzgl. der an­wen­dung des stil­mit­tels der sog. „al­le­go­rie”): nur zur sich­er­heit be­fän­de sich ein teil (als ei­ne art raum-zeit­li­che häu­fung) von Ih­r/Got­t in mei­nem kopf und „schläft” (als al­le­go­rie)? ↩ ↩² ↩³ ↩⁴ ↩⁵ ↩⁶ ↩⁷ ↩⁸ ↩⁹ ↩¹⁰ ↩¹¹ ↩¹² ↩¹³ ↩¹⁴ ↩¹⁵ ↩¹⁶ ↩¹⁷ ↩¹⁸ ↩¹⁹ ↩²⁰ ↩²¹ ↩²² ↩²³ ↩²⁴ ↩²⁵

10. (ini­dtial?) for­mer(?) per­pa­tra­tor (role)¹² «fi­scher»™ for (alias­es in or­der of ap­pear­ance) sebas­tian/mar­kus/chris­tian/pe­ter/si­mon^pe­trus?13/stefan/stephan „basti”™ (the )fi­scher/becke­dahl/woll­mers­ha­gen/schwein­stei­ger/pe­trus^?/rich­ter.
    [note of nov, 2025] prob­a­bil­i­ty con­dens­ing to­wards an iden­ti­ty «ste­fan/-phan rich­ter»?
    pos­si­bly pro­tag­o­nist of more than one al­le­go­ry?
    [amend of jan, 2026] may­be just an idea of a se­mi-trans­par­ent cloth, not ex­ist­ing for real (un­til to­day no proof).
    likes to call me "mopsi" and claims that i am "his" "hu­gen­du­bel", a ger­man book re­tail­er.
    he him­self seems to be a con­fused mind, who ac­cus­es me of hav­ing killed his moth­er, which is still alive.
    [note of dec 2025] as he wants to be me, he might ac­cus­es me of killing “his” mother, be­cause he killed mine in oct/nov 2022? which i would like to call a very weird state­ment.
    german wanna­be-ti­tles^⚠sarkasm/möch­te­gern-titel^{🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭⚠sarkasmus}:
    legatvs domini (ge­sann­ter des herrn),
    men­tor der de­mut & te­le­pa­thie,
    viel­fa­cher „«ja-ja-ja»-gott-des-scheiß-egal”
    schlächter & fol­ter­knecht der heili­gen,
    siegel­führer des ge­burts­ka­nals der ge­sam­ten mensch­heit¹⁴,
    chef-in­qui­si­tor der vati­kan­stadt,
    selbst­er­nann­ter kin­der­gott.
    ego­maniac-sadistic para-/necro­philic socio­path, mur­de­rer of at least 15 schizo­phrenia patients, cruelly driven to sui­cide by tor­ture (i was supposed to be the 16th, which didn't work out), mur­de­rer of pre-school chil­dren (in send­ing them to sui­cide) while play­ing god „for” them?
    after (un­con­fir­med) state­ments of mul­ti­ple dif­fer­ent (but un­known) voices, just an ordi­nary fraud­ster, asked to act as a false prophet to learn to read di­vine signs?
    pro­nounced telepathy ob­ses­sion since at least 2024.
    [note from nov, 2025: pos­si­bly over­layed by some kind of a sub­nat­ur­al crea­ture?]
    [🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭] zitat »pe­ter fi­scher lebt auch nicht mehr so lang.« soll hin­weis auf »(Simon)Petrus« (der Fischer) (will er das auch noch?) sein?^{⚠suggestion?15}
    der na­me «fi­scher» fin­det sei­nen grund mglw. ein­zig und al­lein in ei­nem na­mens­schild in dem al­ten wohn­haus in rei­nicken­dorf, in dem ich bis feb. 2024 ge­wohnt ha­be.
    hin­ter­grund: ein ini­tial­tä­ter fragt mich an­fang 2021, wer er wohl sein kön­ne und ein herr fischer war eben der ein­zi­ge männ­li­che be­woh­ner, der in der nä­he zu ver­or­ten war und so also als ei­ne art stal­ker in fra­ge kam.
    [anm. 2025: aus heu­ti­ger sicht ge­ra­de­zu naiv, die be­spaßen mich selbst mehr als 12.000 km ent­fernt in den an­den noch, uhr­zeit egal, mit an­de­ren wor­ten: die las­sen sich „ihre deck­na­men” mglw. von ihren opfern ge­ben, um ma­xi­mal zu ob­fus­kie­ren?]
    seit etwa herbst 2020, erst­ma­lig auf­ge­fal­len durch übun­gen mit der kon­trol­le des sexu­al­triebs sei­ner „nachb­arn/-innen”
    [anm. 2025: aus heu­ti­ger sicht un­wahr­schein­lich, dass ich tat­säch­lich „ge­mein­sa­me” nach­barn¹⁶ ge­hört ha­be.]
    ego­ma­ner nekro-/para­phi­ler sozio­path mit einer nei­gung zur fol­ter und induk­tion von angst/panik in sei­nen opfern? ver­mutl. selbst angst­stö­run­gen?
    an­gebl. vor­be­straf­ter betrü­ger, ein mgl. gdb</a

    17 an­gebl. er­schli­chen.
    wähnt sich im 3. og (trep­pen­sei­tig links) des hin­ter­hau­ses der
    pan­kower al­lee 86 in
    13409 ber­lin (rei­nicken­dorf)
    woh­nend (klin­gel­schild »fischer«), da­mit bis früh­jahr letz­ten jah­res²⁰²⁴ ein (mir je­doch bis heu­te^nov 2025 un­be­kann­ter) nach­bar.
    mglw. nur bis 6. feb. 2024 „aktiv” (danach spo­ra­disch oder remote?).
    emo­tio­nal stumpf, un­em­pha­tisch. auch hier: evtl. wir­ken, das fin­ger­spitzen­gefühl er­for­dert, dürf­te (vgl. auch michael-„beset­zer”¹⁸) von fähi­ge­ren mit­ar­bei­tern ei­ner größe­ren ok über­nom­men wer­den).
     die krea­tur (ich weiß nicht ob mensch) scheint para­phil und sieht eine ideale welt wohl­mög­lich in ei­nem se­dier­ten zu­stand?

    ↩ ↩² ↩³ ↩⁴ ↩⁵ ↩⁶ ↩⁷ ↩⁸ ↩⁹ ↩¹⁰ ↩¹¹ ↩¹²

11. since every(!) al­leged male (voice) en­ti­ty in my head re­spec­tive­ly Her room so far is al­leged­ly(!) at least a (ha­bit­u­al?) rapist (if not a killer/mur­der­er?), all of the per­se­cu­tors seem to be misog­y­nist peo­ple. they do not seem to have a lot more than de­spise for (all?) women. ↩ ↩²

12. the name possibly also to be taken as a role des­cription of some big­ger (crimi­nal) orga­ni­sation(s) of (altogether) possibly more then 100.000 (most likely almost exclusivly) men. ↩

13. will er, der an­geb­lich den fami­lien­namen «fischer» trägt, evtl. (der bib­lische) petrus, der fischer sein? ers­ter bi­schof der frü­hen chris­ten in rom? soll das viel­leicht ein witz sein? ↩

14. er würde sagen, es seien „seine fotzen” und nicht etwa eigen­tum ihrer träger­in­nen. da könn­te ja je­de kom­men, ihr eige­n­tum gel­tend zu ma­chen: es ist ei­ne kur­ze flos­kel zu ver­wen­den, die ich ob des­in­te­resses leider ver­gessen habe, da ich von chef(fin­nen-)sache aus­gehe (das bleibt eher nicht un­ge­sühnt).
    [anm.: in­teres­san­ter­wei­se will der ini­tial­täter so weit ich weiß in die­sem sin­ne gar nichts von frau­en, son­dern ist pa­ra­phil?¹⁰] ↩

15. (attempt of be­ing) sug­ges­tive, in­clud­ing com­mon con­spir­a­cy theories.
    [🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭] ver­such der sug­ges­tion, auch gän­gi­ger vts.
    ich er­in­ne­re mich, dass ei­nem der täter be­reits an­fang 2021 sehr wich­tig war, dass ich den un­ter­schied zwi­schen ei­ner sug­ges­tion und ei­ner ein­re­de ver­ste­he. darf ich fra­gen, warum? (ich bin kein ju­rist und das muss ich auch nicht sein)
    zur qua­li­tät: (bis auf zwei, drei) sind die „dar­ge­bo­te­nen” „sug­ges­tio­nen” mit dem „dampf­ham­mer” ser­viert, oft­mals mit stim­men un­ter­legt, die den sug­ge­rier­ten sach­ver­halt ein­fach im sinne der tä­ter be­haup­ten.
    und dann: wen in­te­res­siert es? was wol­len „die” über­haupt von mir? das hier ist kein spiel o. ä., son­dern mein le­ben! das, eines nor­ma­len men­schen. ↩ ↩² ↩³ ↩⁴ ↩⁵ ↩⁶

16. wohl eher un­se­re nächs­ten, im über­tra­ge­nen sinn. ↩

17. „Grad der Be­hin­de­rung”, mglw. von min. ei­nem ini­tia­len tä­ter er­schli­chen. ↩

18. «other-dimension-dude» or “michi-be­set­zer” shall allegedly be an enti­ty from an­other uni­ver­se, able to jump in human beings with ease and act on their be­half, only to show their worst side when­ever he^? wants to?^{⚠clm/sgstn2015}
    he also seems to ma­nip­u­late pos­si­bil­i­ty de­ci­sions on a quan­tum lev­el?
    [anm.: von michi-michi-michi ler­nen, heißt flie­gen ler­nen, oder wie? (auf die fr** viel­leicht.]
    [🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭] an­ge­zeigt ist stand
    [14.06.] ein, sich als «erz­en­gel mi­chael» auf­spie­len­der trieb­tä­ter aus ei­nem an­de­ren, aber von ihm selbst ge­bau­ten,[^selbstgebaut] eher min­der­wer­ti­gen, räum­lich zwei­di­men­sio­nalen(?) uni­ver­sum²⁶.
    er selbst scheint in sei­ner „ur­form” eben­falls zwei­di­men­sio­nal und trans­pa­rent²⁶.
    in die­ser form ist es ihm an­geb­lich ohne wei­te­res mög­lich, feste materie wie boden, wände und türen zu über­win­den?¹⁵
    an­geb­lich kann er in un­se­rem uni­ver­sum in be­lie­bi­ge men­schen „sprin­gen” und min­des­tens tempo­rär die je­wei­lige persön­lich­keit über­neh­men, ohne dass das entspr. in­di­vi­du­um, bis auf un­erklär­liche zeit­ver­luste [anm.: selbst an mir be­ob­ach­tet], etwas be­merkt.^{⚠betrug/ein­re­de­ver­such}
    auch ist „er” angeb­lich in der la­ge, post­sy­nap­tisch zu wirken.^{⚠einredeversuch}[^empathie], ver­ein­fachend will er an­geb­lich auch di­rekt aus mei­nem ge­hirn he­raus, auch in an­de­ren zei­ten als mei­ner ak­tu­el­len, ope­rie­ren kön­nen.^{⚠einredeversuch}
    ei­ge­nen an­ga­ben zu­fol­ge will er auch der­je­ni­ge sein, der an wahr­schein­lich­kei­ten he­rum ma­ni­pu­liert und die­se im­mer wie­der in „worst cases” ver­kehrt²⁰? ↩ ↩² ↩³

19. work in progress ↩

20. op­po­nent’s claim
    [🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭] be­haup­tung bzw. ver­such der ein­re­de (mei­ner/un­se­rer wider­sa­cher). ↩ ↩² ↩³ ↩⁴ ↩⁵ ↩⁶ ↩⁷ ↩⁸ ↩⁹ ↩¹⁰ ↩¹¹ ↩¹²

21. “time” or “age” to be un­der­stood as an al­le­go­ry or a vector to span a room (in a math­e­mat­i­cal sense), She/God⁹ does­n't "need" time and can step in/out at will.
    [🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭] „al­ter” bit­te als al­le­go­rie ver­ste­hen, Sie/Gott⁹ be­nö­tigt kei­ne zeit.
    kurz zur sog. „all­wis­sen­heit” (nicht nur für's „süße bas­ti­lein”): ei­ne lü­ge ist immer(!) zeit­lich be­grenzt, «all­wis­sen­heit» ist das eine und lässt Sie/Gott⁹ die wahr­heit ken­nen. die wahr­heit hin­ter je­der (hypo­the­tisch mglw. auch von außen ein­ge­tra­ge­nen) lü­ge, die „erst” in „zu­kunft” auf­ge­deckt wird, ist ihr be­kannt, seit an­be­ginn der zeit.
    (nicht nur) für's „süße mi­chi­lein”: bei ei­ner auch nur an­ge­nom­me­nen „aus­ein­an­der­setzung” (was wäre das ge­nau? ziel­de­fi­ni­tion?) mit Ihr/Gott⁹, ei­nem (un­se­rem) (qua­si-)all­mäch­ti­gen schöp­fungs­gott (mir scheint näm­lich, je­mand ver­sucht mein ge­hirn zu miss­brau­chen, um Ihr/Gott⁹ zu be­deu­ten, ich „hätte et­was ge­gen Sie/Gott”) liegt m. m. n. (und lo­gisch kon­sis­tent) in Ih­rem raum (mit ei­nem auf­span­nen­den vek­tor wie die uns be­kann­te «zeit»), das schick­sal an­ge­nom­me­ner, auch nur hy­po­the­ti­scher ge­gner/„fein­de” schon im­mer (voll­stän­dig) in Ih­rer hand, fusst die idee ei­nes ima­gi­nä­ren geg­ners von sei­nem er­folg auf ei­nem ge­heim­nis oder „trick”, men­schen­zeit­lich ab dem mo­ment, ab dem die­ses/-er (ge­heim­nis/„trick”) in Ih­ren wis­sens­ka­non ein­geht (qua­si-all­wis­sen­heit (für's michi­lein): ab ent­ste­hung oder be­kannt­wer­den „eu­rer idee” in Ih­rem raum).
    es bringt üb­ri­gens dann nichts, en­det Ihre exis­tenz oder der be­tref­fen­de raum men­schen­zeit­lich „erst” in der (men­schen­zeit­li­chen) zu­kunft (und so hat die­ser ta­g wie­der ei­nen kras­sen „ach-so”-mo­ment:
    zeigt Sie sich mir zu­min­dest kurz aber egal in wel­chem mo­ment, ist Sie (min­des­tens für uns) mit ei­ner wahr­schein­lich­keit von mathe­ma­tisch 1 (für nicht-mathe­ma­ti­ker: da­mit ge­nau 100%ige wahr­schein­lich­keit), war Sie und wird Sie im­mer sein (hier in­te­res­san­ter denk­an­satz zur sog. ewig­keit, und ich kann (lei­der?) mit ei­ni­ger wahr­schein­lich­keit von ei­ge­ner re­le­vanz im ent­sprech­en­den kon­text aus­ge­hen).
    bsp.: näm­lich hier muss ich Ihr schon qua­si ge­wiss, ver­mut­lich ohne grenz­wert, da sie den vek­tor zeit selbst nicht braucht (um das zu zei­gen, nimmt sie mich ex­tra mit raus), oder mathe­ma­tisch 1, alles re­le­van­te wis­sen bzgl. dem wir­ken die­ser crew un­ter­stel­len, „zeit­punkt” egal. 😉
    [anm.: in Ihrem raum (sie hat ihn „ge­baut und „weiß wo der licht­schal­ter ist”) ist „zeit” (ver­ein­facht) ein auf­span­nen­der vek­tor (mathem.: vektor ei­nes er­zeu­gen­den­sys­tems), des raums, den Sie be­tritt, wo (da­mit wann) Sie will. dan­ke sehr! ❤️ ↩

22. ange­zeigt ist extra-uni­ver­sale wirk­mäch­tig­keit und refu­gium, mind. zeit­weise nicht der physik unse­res uni­ver­sums unter­liegen zu müs­sen.^{⚠(betrugs-)suggestion} ↩

23. das sog. 1. gebot aus dem 2. buch mose, exodus 20:3 «du sollst keine ande­ren götter haben neben mir.»
    ist sehr bekannt. zu­min­dest mir aber, (bis­her) schlecht be­grün­det, i. s. e. eifer­süch­tigen gottes. besser habe ich es mit Ihr ver­stan­den.
    etwa (lang): lasst hier bitte nie­mand ande­ren rein. die gefahr wäre zu groß, er/sie macht hier etwas kaputt oder ist sonst­wie nicht in hehrer ab­sicht, dein eige­nes leben oder das deiner nächs­ten in gefahr. ↩

24. [🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭] an­ge­zeigt sind extra­uni­ver­sa­le ins­tru­men­te, be­wusst(!) die phy­sik die­ses uni­ver­sums miss­ach­tend?^⚠behpt.20, was na­tür­lich nicht geht. da­zu pseu­do-ma­gi­sche werk­zeu­ge, wie hyp­no­se-stim­men (die aber kei­ne sind, son­dern ei­gent­lich nur „trig­ger-words” mas­kie­ren sol­len)? sämt­lich be­trug. ↩

25. in my (humble) opin­ion ↩

26. je­den­falls ha­ben die von „bas­ti”¹⁰ bin­nen ei­ner nacht nur für mich im­por­tier­ten (knapp 20.000!?) klei­ne­ren trans­pa­ren­ten (und da­mit fast un­sicht­ba­ren), auf ge­hei­ligte men­schen ab­ge­rich­teten, trieb­täter die­ses ande­ren uni­ver­sums eine 2d-form. sie sind qu­asi nur in ei­ner fläche.
    und ich meine, so erschöpf­lich ist auch ihr gemüt: hass, miss­gunst und ein über­steu­er­ter zynis­mus, komplexer wird es nicht (und ich wun­de­re mich, wie die­ser mi­chi-be­set­zer emo­tio­nal so stumpf ist, un­ter­stel­le ihm, tot zu sein, ein zom­bie). ↩ ↩²

27. für mich kommt kein strei­fen­wagen. rufe ich die wache direkt an, klären sie mich auf, miss­brauch des not­rufs „koste” 300,- EUR und ich willige ein zu zahlen, kommt dennoch nie­mand.
    das gebäude der staats­an­walt­schaft berlin zu be­treten hat mich fünf an­läufe ge­kos­tet, die entspr. staats­an­wältin ließ sich em­pfeh­len.
    auch sonst ist die sta berlin mehr als ab­ge­neigt. von dort so­wie der poli­zei ber­lin ist keiner­lei hilfe zu er­war­ten, dafür ist ge­sorgt, die ver­höh­nung und ohnmacht ihrer opfer ist ihnen wichtig und wird gren­zen­los zele­briert. ↩

28. iden­ti­ty as the­ma­tized in ghost in the shell (based on this man­ga) or blade run­ner, not as in iden­ti­ty card. 😉 ↩

29. an alias or place­hold­er for resid­ual frag­ments of failed trials to built some­thing like a super­nat­ur­al be­ing, if there's some­thing like that and/or un­til i know bet­ter. ↩

30. tor­ments & tor­ture ↩ ↩² ↩³

31. felix "michi"/"arch­angel michael" her­zog/mül­ler,
    born on march 5th, 1987 (or 1991)^? in linz, austria?
    [amend of jan, 2026] may­be just an idea of a se­mi-trans­par­ent cloth, not ex­ist­ing for real (un­til to­day no proof).
    tells peo­ple to be a movie di­rec­tor, when in reali­ty he filmed hun­dreds of peo­ple while they got tor­tu­red to death?
    [🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭] seit juli 2024(?), an­gebl. pädo-sa­dis­ti­scher[^bmrdr] so­zio­path, dut­zend­fa­cher ba­by­mör­der und tat­be­tei­ligt an der grau­sa­men er­mor­dung von hun­der­ten men­schen vor lau­fen­den ka­me­ras zu zwecken der mo­ne­ta­ri­sie­rung?
    zi­tat: »fischer, gott sei dank sind wir so ka­putt, dass un­se­ren opfern nie­mand glaubt.«
    voll­kom­men de­gene­rier­ter geist, der sich nicht nur in per­so­nal­union mit dem bib­li­schen erz­engel mich­ael wähnt (doch statt als be­schützer der schöp­fung, als zer­trüm­me­rer ihrer saat auf­tritt), son­dern auch als „lieb­li­che stim­me der ver­nunft” und mo­ra­li­scher leucht­turm.
    auf­fäl­li­ger „papa”-spleen, mglw. früh­kind­licher miss­hand­lung ge­schul­det.
    arbei­tet an­geb­lich als be­treuer geis­tig be­ein­träch­tig­ter men­schen, die als eine art „opfer­pool” miss­han­delt wer­den? ↩ ↩² ↩³ ↩⁴

32. vir­tu­al as op­posed to be­ing real, such as ideas & c. ↩ ↩² ↩³ ↩⁴ ↩⁵ ↩⁶ ↩⁷

33. re­gard­ing or in reference of [: sub­ject/top­ic] ↩

34. i won­der a lot, why there seem to be en­ti­ties shout­ing “lie” and are able to judge and punish me, only for try­ing to doc­u­ment some crime, while they seem to be able to claim (re­al­ly!) any­thing(!) and do­n't ever need any ex­pla­na­tion. i think it has some­thing to do with a divine back­ground, since some of the en­ti­ties some­times(!) claim to not be humans at all. which de­pends on the clock and some quan­tum me­chan­i­cal states of some par­ti­cles? tor­ture is real, them not. they are kil­lers, but only a little, while their vic­tims are very dead? where am i? still alive? ↩

35. “them” pre­sum­ably be­ing rude, misog­y­nist, male “nazi ter­ror­ists or alike, which i once con­sid­ered sec­u­lar per­pe­tra­tors around two (voice only) en­ti­ties which where nev­er able to prove their ex­is­tence in re­al­i­ty, but de­vel­oped into pro­tag­o­nists of a lot of al­le­gories, con­dens­ing in­to some kind of ideas even­tu­al­ly, not ex­ist­ing for real, the more this “story” moves on and gains some kind of di­vine back­ground? ↩

36. an al­le­go­ry of an un­just, cru­el and de­gen­er­at­ed pa­tri­archy.
    [:de::austria::switzerland:] ein pa­tri­ar­chat, das ich bis­her un­ter­schätzt habe bzw. so nicht kann­te. von mir aus kann es weg, es hat m. m. n. nur nach­tei­le und kann gern durch ein matriar­chat er­setzt wer­den. wel­che mut­ter ist un­ge­recht wider ih­res soh­nes?
    und ein fi­scher, der mglw. und eigent­lich aus­ge­wählt wurde, den aktu­ellen ent­wick­lungs­stand einer gesell­schafts­ord­nung zu präsen­tieren, die am ehes­ten als patri­ar­chal zu be­zeich­nen ist?
    soll­te dem so sein, er er­hiel­te sei­nen nächs­ten titel: «ultra-femi­nist» (hätte ich ihm gar nicht zu­ge­traut, wirk­lich ele­gant ab­ge­wickelt). ↩