Update README.md on https://halcyonsim.org #1
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Added something to the page. Was blank before, with just a title.
Some people don't know what HalcyonGrid is, nor what OpenSim is, that's why it must be explained to them. Thank you.
kf6kjg
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kf6kjg
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Thank your for your effort. However writing good English is hard. My comments only address some of what I ran across in this writeup.
Additionally I'm not sure that this will help the website as I don't think the readme feeds the site. The website code is expected to be created using a different set of tools I haven't completed setting up.
README.md
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| ## Virtual World where people may move about in a full 3D world. | ||
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| Halcyon World is a Virtual World with a full 3D environment, written in C Sharp (C#), where you may move about with a character known as an avatar in a 3D World accessed with a 3D Graphics Application, commonly known as a "Viewer," which is used to access these virtual worlds. (not a VR headset) such as the most common one, <a href="https://firestormviewer.org" target="_blank" rel="follow">FirestormOS</a>. *(the "OS" standing for OpenSim, and not Operating System)* also it is similar to <a href="https://SecondLife.com" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >Second Life®</a>. It allows users "talk" to other people in-world through nearby chat, IM's, group chats and group IM's and sometimes in voice, depending on how the grid is setup and the permissions set on individual regions. Although that's as much like a game as it gets. There is also the ability to build objects in-world known as primatives or prims in various shapes and sizes to make different types of 3D objects. Additionally other 3D items known as "Mesh" (DEA files) can be imported which have been created/edited with a 3D object editor/creator such as the free program <a href="https://store.steampowered.com/app/365670/Blender/" target="_blank" rel="follow" >"Blender"</a>. |
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Double spaces should be single spaces.
"Graphics Application" is not a title and thus should not be capitalized.
Commas go outside of quotes, which are also unneeded in this case.
Several run-on sentences here.
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The double spaces are removed in the updated version, and have removed the capitals on "Graphics Application". Which quotes did you feel are unneeded? Incorrect grammar usually sticks out to me like a sore thumb, though I was trying to merge two different versions of the same thing, and I might have been tired at the time. Let me know if you still see run-on sentences in the new version. Thank you.
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The quotes I mentioned are those that are being used like the commonly misused air quotes in speech. Some examples:
commonly known as a "Viewer,"could simply becommonly known as a viewer,without any semantic loss.It allows users "talk" tolikewise could beIt allows users to talk to- with the additional detail of fixing the grammar with the additionalto. If you are concerned that the word "talk" contains too much semantic meaning of verbal communication, then simply choose another word that doesn't convey that meaning. For me the word is fine, it just doesn't need the quotes.
I hope that from those few examples you can extrapolate the kind of change requested to the rest of the prose.
Additionally I see IM's - that's a possessive form being used as a plural.
Thanks kf6kjg for the suggestions. Have removed the target="_blank" in the links, though kept the regular anchor style since the rel tag can't be used with the other link style. Let me know how it looks. Thank you.
Removed comma inside quote, removed the capitals on "Graphics Application", separated a run-on sentence. Removed extra space between a couple sentences.
Made a few more wording changes, and added the hyperlink for Mundos Market.
Added FSFE.org link to "there is no "cloud" only somebody else's computers" and added Archive.org link for the last saved version of InWorldz.com on Aug. 6, 2018 before it was ended. (the domain was bought in 2019) Thank you.
Not sure why you prefer to have the main heading title at the top in all lowercase, though I guess it wouldn't hurt. We can try it like that for a while. Thank you.
Added a couple more titles, and split up a paragraph, and added some more information, and links. Changed the "registered" logo beside "Second Life" to the TradeMark logo "™" as the Second Life website now seems to have that one. Thank you, Shalom.
README.md
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| ## Virtual World where people may move about in a full 3D world. | ||
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| Halcyon World is a Virtual World with a full 3D environment, written in C Sharp (C#), where you may move about with a character known as an avatar in a 3D World accessed with a 3D graphics application, commonly known as a "Viewer" which is used to access these virtual worlds. (not a VR headset) such as the most common one, <a href="https://firestormviewer.org" rel="follow">FirestormOS</a>. *(the "OS" standing for 'OpenSim', and not 'Operating System')* also it is similar to <a href="https://SecondLife.com" rel="nofollow" >Second Life®</a>. It allows users to "talk" to other people in-world through nearby chat, IM's, group chats and group IM's and sometimes in voice, depending on how the grid is setup and the permissions set on individual regions. Although that's as much like a game as it gets. There is also the ability to build objects in-world known as primatives or prims in various shapes and sizes to make different types of linked or individual 3D objects. Additionally other 3D items known as "Mesh" (DEA files) can be imported which have been created/edited with a 3D object editor/creator such as the free program "<a href="https://store.steampowered.com/app/365670/Blender/" rel="follow" >Blender</a>". | ||
| Halcyon World is a Virtual World with a full 3D environment, written in C Sharp (C#), where you may move about with a character known as an avatar in a 3D World accessed with a 3D graphics application, commonly known as a "viewer", which is used to access/login to these virtual worlds (not a VR headset). The most common one currently is the <a href="https://firestormviewer.org" rel="follow">Firestorm viewer for OpenSim</a>. *(the "OS" stands for 'OpenSim', and not 'Operating System')* also it is similar to <a href="https://SecondLife.com" rel="nofollow" >Second Life™</a>. It allows users to "talk" to other people in-world through nearby chat, IM's, group chats and group IM's and sometimes in voice, depending on how the grid is setup and the permissions set on individual regions. Including offline IM's, sending the offline IM's to the user's registered email address(which most OpenSim Grids do not have). Although not yet with <a href="https://OpenPGP.org" rel="nofollow">OpenPGP</a> Encryption. That is as much like a game as it gets. There is also the ability to build objects in-world known as primatives or "prims" in various shapes and sizes to make different types of linked or individual 3D objects. Additionally other 3D items known as "Mesh" (DEA files) can be imported which have been created/edited with a 3D object editor/creator such as the free program titled "<a href="https://store.steampowered.com/app/365670/Blender/" rel="follow" >Blender</a>". (Or even exported from a Grid as Mesh/DEA.) |
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Please omit the jab (which most OpenSim Grids do not have).
Please omit Although not yet with <a href="https://OpenPGP.org" rel="nofollow">OpenPGP</a> Encryption. If such a think should exist, it should be in an issue ticket not here in the README - and even then that's more a client thing than a server thing.
Either rework to be part of the flow or omit (Or even exported from a Grid as Mesh/DEA.) Parenthetical insertions are not a good writing style, and wouldn't be proper grammar wrapping a partial sentence like this anyway.
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Alright, thank you, I'm making those changes... and OpenPGP is actually both a client and server thing, at least when sending mail directly from a server. Users/Clients need a OpenPGP compatible software, and the server does as well, to encrypt the message with each user's public key. Then the user/client/recipient decrypts the message with their private key.
Removed the part about OpenPGP Encryption and the part before that. Commented out the part about the Mundos Market, for later uncommenting out. Thank you, Shalom.
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| ## Virtual World where people may walk in a full 3D world. | ||
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| Halcyon World is a Virtual World with a full 3D environment, written in C Sharp (C#), where you may move about with a character known as an avatar in a 3D World accessed with a 3D graphics application, commonly known as a "viewer", which is used to access/login to these virtual worlds (not a VR headset). The most common one currently is the <a href="https://firestormviewer.org" rel="follow">Firestorm viewer for OpenSim</a>. *(the "OS" stands for 'OpenSim', and not 'Operating System')* also it is similar to <a href="https://SecondLife.com" rel="nofollow" >Second Life™</a>. It allows users to "talk" to other people in-world through nearby chat, IM's, group chats and group IM's and sometimes in voice, depending on how the grid is setup and the permissions set on individual regions. Including offline IM's, sending the offline IM's to the user's registered email address. That is as much like a game as it gets. There is also the ability to build objects in-world known as primatives or "prims" in various shapes and sizes to make different types of linked or individual 3D objects. Additionally other 3D items known as "Mesh" (DEA files) can be imported which have been created/edited with a 3D object editor/creator such as the free program titled "<a href="https://store.steampowered.com/app/365670/Blender/" rel="follow" >Blender</a>", or exported from a world as DEA. |
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FYI Blender actually has its own website: https://www.blender.org/
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Not that we actually need to link to any 3D model editor in the first place...
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Ok, I see.. well I don't think there would be any problem linking to a website for an Open Source program.
Changed the linked website for Blender to their own actual website as noted. Added "Open Source". Thank you, Shalom.
Changed two heading styles from # to ##.
Removed the Free Software Foundation web link and the rest with it. Thank you, Shalom.
Several more additions, please note changes, and let me know if you have any questions. Thank you, Shalom.
Made a few additions/updates, and added some hyperlinks. Thank you, Shalom.
Removed the quotes on viewer.
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Added something to the page. Was blank before, with just a title. How can we expect more developers to get interested without anything on the website?